Author: Patricia Culley

I'm the ringmaster of my own circus. Just trying to stay one step ahead of the monkeys.

Forgiveness

I’ve been thinking a lot about forgiveness recently.

It’s felt like there was something brewing inside of me and I couldn’t quite figure it out. So today I sat down and really dove in to it.

I know about forgiveness. I know how important it is. Growing up in the church, it’s preached everywhere and often.

I thought I was doing a good job of practising forgiveness. It’s not always easy but you choose to walk in forgiveness even if you don’t feel like it because holding on to un-forgiveness leads to bitterness and resentment and I don’t want to live like that.

I really thought I was walking in forgiveness but today as I searched the scripture, something came alive to me.

Don’t you just love when revelation hits?

It’s so amazing.

So often, we feel wronged. We are human.

It can be something as simple as someone cutting us off while we are driving, or maybe a neighbour takes advantage of our good nature and generosity, or it can be as serious as having someone slander us. There are countless reasons and ways for us to “feel wronged”.

I’m sure we’ve all experienced situations or circumstances where others have wronged us. It’s a pretty human feeling to want them to pay for what they’ve done or to feel like you’re owed something to compensate for the hurt or loss that you’ve felt.

But…..in the Bible, God says that unselfish love is the basis for forgiveness because it keeps no record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:5).

That means letting go of resentment and giving up any claim to be compensated for the hurt or loss we have suffered.

Giving up any claim to be compensated for the hurt or loss we have suffered.

That’s huge.

Can I do that?

Will I give up my perceived right to expect an apology and any form of compensation for wrongs done to me?

Forgiveness is not an option according to the Bible, it’s a command. We have been commanded to forgive, in the same way that God has forgiven us; and if we don’t forgive then God will not forgive us.

“And when you pray, make sure you forgive the faults of others so that your Father in heaven will also forgive you. But if you withhold forgiveness from others, your Father withholds forgiveness from you.”

Matthew 6:14-15 TPT

When I really think about that, it’s sobering. I have been forgiven of so much. He died for me. He gave His life so that I wouldn’t have to die for my sins. And I AM a sinner. I make mistakes. I do wrong, even when I want or try to do right.

I have been forgiven and continue to be forgiven for the wrongs that I do. Will I choose to offer forgiveness to those who wrong me? Will I forgive completely and let go of any desire to be acknowledged or apologized to?

In Luke 23, while hanging on the cross, Jesus said,

“Father, forgive them for they don’t even know what they are doing.”

There was no repentance by “the others”, at that moment. There was no acknowledgement of wrong doing; and even so, He forgave. He continued to lay down His life even though he was being hurt and betrayed by the very ones he was dying for.

He didn’t hold them accountable. He said,

“Father, don’t hold them accountable for their wrong doing. Don’t make them pay. Forgive them.”

In the middle of the hardship, hurt, pain, betrayal; while the offences were still happening – He forgave. He didn’t hold anything against them. He let them off the hook.

What an example! Can we live like that? Will we choose to live like that? I want to.

I know that, in the past, I have looked for “repentance” or a recognition of wrong doing but from what I read and understand, we are to offer forgiveness freely. It’s not based on contrition or apology or acknowledgement of wrong doing. It has nothing to do with the other party!

So what does it look like to give up the right to be compensated for the hurt we have felt or experienced?

What does it look like to forgive?

I guess for me, it’s a choice to continually let go.

  • Letting go of my perceived right to be apologized to.
  • Letting go of the desire to be vindicated.
  • Letting go of the need to punish.
  • Letting go of the want to see the other party hurt as bad as I have.
  • Letting go of thinking that I know what’s right or best.
  • Letting go of expecting accountability.

It’s letting go, giving up, surrendering my wants and giving it all to God to hold and care for.

If you really think about it, there’s such a beauty and freedom in that “letting go.”

In our own strength, forgiveness is impossible but with God, nothing is impossible and we can walk the path of forgiveness with grace and joy.

I’ve been a bit emotional thinking about this all today. It’s really quite incredible.

God is Love

I’ve been thinking about God’s Love recently; and how that plays out in my life.

God Is Love!

1 John 4

God is the embodiment of perfect love. In wanting to be more like God, I want to know His character and have it evidenced by His Love inside of me; in my every thought and action and word.

And God lives in us. Which means that the expression of our lives should be evidence of His Love. And fortunately for us, He gave us clear instructions on what love looks like in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

I want to be able to substitute my name for Love and have this be a description of myself. That when I think about myself or when others think of or talk about me that this is what they say! I don’t believe the large part is talking about my physical size but rather that Love is Large within me. Although being honest, I’m not exactly a small person, so I guess that fits, too!

Patti is large and incredibly patient.
Patti is gentle and consistently kind to all.
Patti refuses to be jealous when blessing comes to someone else.
Patti does not brag about her achievements nor inflate her own importance.
Patti does not traffic in shame and disrespect, nor selfishly seek her own honor. Patti is not easily irritated or quick to take offense.
Patti joyfully celebrates honesty and finds no delight in what is wrong.
Patti is a safe place of shelter, for she never stops believing the best for others. Patti never takes failure as defeat, for she never gives up.

That’s quite the passage to live up to; to line my life up to. But, WOW, I can see how beautiful life is, as we operate from a position of love.

Galatians 5 talks about the fruit of our lives and I love the way the Passion translation puts it.

Galatians 5

The fruit produced by the Holy Spirit within you is
DIVINE LOVE in all its varied expressions.

And this goes right back to wanting the expression of God’s Perfect Love evidenced in my life.

I want overflowing Joy in my life, no matter the situation or circumstances.
I want to live a life of Peace, trusting that God’s got everything under control.
I want Patience that endures forever and ever.
I want to be Kindness in action.
I want to live a life full of Virtue, evidenced by high moral standards.
I want to live full of Faith; believing and trusting God, no matter what!
I want Gentleness to be so evident in my life.
I want Strength of body, soul and spirit so I can be confident and boldly move forward in life.

I so desperately want God’s love to be evident in my life in every way. I want my words and my thoughts and my actions to be loving towards myself and others.

Going back to the first verse in 1 John, when God’s love is working in my life and I fully grasp and understand and live a life of perfect love, then I will not be walking in fear.

Love never brings fear, for fear is always related to punishment. But love’s perfection drives the fear of punishment far from our hearts. Whoever walks constantly afraid of punishment has not reached love’s perfection.

There is a footnote in the Passion Translation indicating that the context of the word “Fear” is the fear of correction, punishment or rejection.

So if I’m walking in Love then I won’t be walking in fear. Which means if I’m feeling fearful, I’m likely scared that I’m going to be in trouble, or be punished or rejected.

Often, when I can take a step back from my situation, and think about what I am feeling – that assessment is correct. Fear of punishment, or getting in trouble or rejection is often at play.

The more that I realize that I’m operating out of fear, the quicker I can align myself back to LOVE. Get my focus off my situation and circumstances; and back on the ONE who loves me unconditionally. The One who’s love for me is patient, gentle, kind…..perfect! And when I’m walking in alignment with Him, then I am also walking in Love. So that same love that He gives me, I can then give out freely to those around me. Its such a beautiful concept to think of – His love fills me because He lives in me; and as I fill up and overflow, His love pours out to others. Wow!

Unforced Rhythms of Grace

I was berating myself, this morning, for my lack of self control (great start to the day, eh?) and I felt God whisper to me “Just follow my unforced rhythms of grace! I love you so much! I’m not condemning you and you shouldn’t condemn yourself either.”

And that stopped me in my tracks.

All of the sudden, I went from feeling shame and condemnation, to feeling loved and treasured.

That’s a huge shift in both feeling and perspective.

I went and found that verse in the Message. I love the way that verse is shared in so many different translations but for this situation, The Message’s interpretation really speaks to me.

No matter the situation or circumstances, if we walk with God and work with Him; if we learn from Him and see how He does “it”, we will learn to live a life of freedom. We will recover. We will rest. Our journey through this life will be characterized by a lightness and not weighed down and burdened.

That sounds amazing to me.

And in His grace and mercy, He will lead and guide; and I can trust that what He asks of me will bring me life. It won’t be a heavy and difficult burden.

And just like that, my whole day turned around.

I no longer felt shamed to force myself to do something. Instead, I asked the Father what He wanted me to do and did that. There is such a joy and peace and “lightness” in following His ways.

Community & Connection

There is only 3 days until the start of the next Art Challenge and I do hope you join us. It’s such an incredible and soul filling experience to purposefully engage your creativity for 30 days.

One thing that’s so valuable as we start this journey is COMMUNITY. It’s amazing to join in with others who are expressing their creativity; to be encouraged and inspired by them. You are also part of the encouraging and inspiring process for others. It’s this incredible loop that cycles around and fills your soul. So if you don’t already follow my Facebook Page, click on the link below and follow me.

XANGELLE

I’m going to send you there right now to follow or like or whatever it is that you do to join and see posts because that is where we will be sharing our daily art and creativity. Each day there will be a post with the Day and Prompt. We will be sharing our art in the comments of each day’s post.

That way we can all see who is playing along with us in this Art Challenge . It’s a great way to collect the art for each day and we can encourage each other as we go along. Think of it as a virtual gallery. I’m excited to see what you create.

So if you haven’t already, go give my page a follow. I’m so excited to start this art challenge and to see where our creativity leads us.

Words are Art

What if I’m more interested in writing than I am in drawing or painting?

That’s AMAZING! Just like the picture says above….words are art, too!

If I could encourage you to do one thing, it would be to listen to your heart and create. Your heart might be desperate to draw and you’ve not done it because you’re not very good. If you’ve always dreamed of writing poetry or stories, do it.

Very few of us humans start out naturally good at anything. But if there’s a small voice inside of you that has been desperate to do something creative, listen to it. Start now. Start small. Let the beginning be just that. A beginning. Take those first few wobbly steps; and soon you’ll be walking steady and sure. It doesn’t happen over night though. Just acknowledge that and know that it’s part of the process.

I’m planning on writing some for this Art Challenge. It’s another creative outlet that I’ve always dreamed about. I’ve have written some, here and there but recently I’ve embraced creative writing along side drawing. When I do express myself through art or writing, it feeds my soul in ways that very little else does. There’s a satisfaction in doing something that the very core of you longs for.

Is there a part of you that desires to create in a way that you’ve been denying yourself? I’d totally encourage you to join us as we spend the month of September creating.

You can find the details here:

Click for the Art Challenge pdf.

Just Over a Week Away

The Art Challenge starts next Friday September 1 and goes through the 30th. We will be drawing or doodling or creating with joy and passion; maybe a little fear and trembling but honestly, I hope you enjoy it.

I’ve put together a little package together that you can print and have on hand to look at the prompts, think of ideas in advance, or just to hold in your hot little hands. I’ll post it in a link below. You can just click the link and it will take you to a page where you can print from or save it to your computer or phone. There’s a colour option that you can print double sided if you want or single page black and white version. I’ll also be posting the prompts the day before so you can come here or go to my Facebook Page or my Instagram and check it out if you’d rather follow along that way.

Click here for the Prompts and Art Challenge Pdf.

I can’t wait for another fabulous month of art and creativity and I do hope you join us.

But 30 Days is SO Long!

You might be wondering what kind of commitment this whole 30 Day Art Challenge is.

Honestly 30 days is a long time.

Will you be kicked out of “the club” if you miss a day?

NOPE

Will you be letting someone down if you miss a day?

NOPE

Will you be shamed or called out if you miss a day?

Also NOPE!

I would strongly encourage you to join our 30 Day Art Challenge with every plan of creating art every day.

Purposing to do this will allow you to get the most out of the process. It will also encourage you to get creative with finding ways to fit creativity into busy days. It could be a quick 5 min session while you wait for a bus or a kid. It could be drawing while you sit in the waiting room at the dr or dentist. It could be on your coffee break at work. We waste so much time but the more you realize that. The more you purpose to fit creativity in to your day to day life , the more ways and times and places you will notice that you can fit it in.

If you get to the end of your day and realize that you forgot or were too busy…..take note of that. Use that information to give you feedback. If you had the most soul fulfilling day packed with love and joy and people, then call it a win and have a good nights sleep. If you think back and feel like the day was tied up in fruitless busy-ness; think about how you can make changes to be living the life that you want to and make one plan to do so the next day.

If you choose to invest in a month of adding creativity to your life, make that month count. But don’t feel like a failure if life gets busy. Just come back to it.

Live life with the passion of a baby learning to walk. They try. They fall. They try. They fall. They keep trying and trying and trying and trying until they’ve got it.

This also means they fall and get up, over and over and over until they walk.

Also think about the fact that we say they are “walking” when they manage to stumble through 2 or 3 steps. We don’t run them down for falling. We cheer and squeal and shout and encourage them on.

Be your own cheerleader on this artistic journey. Speak gently and encouragingly to yourself. Let us, also, cheer you on. The more steps you take, the more you will be confident in your abilities. But it’s not about the finished product. It’s about the journey.

We’d love to have you join us from September 1-30 for our 30 Day Art Challenge. Stay tuned for more details.

Sharing Your (he)Art can be Scary

I think one reason that doing art and especially sharing art is hard is that it’s a piece of you. You are essentially “creating a piece from yourself” and if you expose it or share – the hope, the wish, the prayer is that people will be kind. That they will see something good. That they will accept and love and value the pieces of yourself that you put out there.

And that’s hard. Because not everyone will see or accept you. Sometimes we feel like it’s easier to protect or hide those parts of ourselves. To not expose or (even safer) to not even create.

But we lose out on something incredible when we stifle or repress the creative parts of ourselves that long to be expressed and seen.

It feels easier to deny our creative longings than it does to express them. But vulnerability is critical for both artistic and personal transformation.

But ironically, it’s when artists are courageous enough to tap into their vulnerability, they also tap into the healing power of art for themselves and the people who view their art.

Incredible Article Here

I’m on an artistic journey. I’m on a personal healing and transformative journey. I’m on a vulnerable journey; and if you are interested in walking along side of me. I welcome you. There is no judgement here. You will be seen and there is space for you.

Our Art Challenge starts on September 1 and goes for 30 days. We’d love to have you join us in whatever way you can. I’ll be here in all my glory and chaos. The mess and the wonder is invited to just be present.

You don’t need anything special. Paper and pen or pencil works but I would suggest some kind of a sketch pad, just so you have a journal of your journey.

Did you see my silly birds reel? I’d love to see your silly bird if you draw one (or a few)

Create With Me!

I thought it might be fun to have a practise round before we get going, so that you have an idea of how this process works.

Starting with the prompt “Flower” create something and either tag me on Instagram ( @pattic ) or post it in the comments of this post on Facebook.

You can draw, paint, write a poem, a song, take a photograph, sculpt, do whatever you want. But create your interpretation of the word flower and share it with us.

The word is just a prompt so create what that prompt sparks inside of you. It could be a flower, it could be multiple flowers, it could be a bouquet, or a field. It could be a flower dress or a flower tie or flower sunglasses. It’s up to you. It can be as simple or as complicated as you want. I’ll probably take about 5 mins to draw and paint mine.

I can’t wait to see what you create.

I’ll post mine as soon as I do it. Happy creating!

Imposter Syndrome

We’d LOVE to have you join our art challenge in September. Keep following for more details!

But I can’t draw/paint/color/etc; “I’m not an artist.” you might be saying.

You might not be selling your art, or hanging it in a gallery but that doesn’t make you “not an artist.”

That was an awkward sentence.

I remember when I changed the title on my Facebook Page from Blogger to Artist. I most definitely did not identify as an artist. I felt like the hugest fraud putting that on there BUT……the fact was that I made art and crazy enough, I even sold my art…..even crazier, people had been buying my art on greeting cards for years.

But I wasn’t an artist because I wasn’t very good. I most definitely wasn’t as good as “them”.

Imposter Syndrome is that uncomfortable feeling that you feel when you think you are unqualified and incompetent. If you manage to do something well, you might chalk it up to good luck.

After much therapy, I figured out that feelings of “not being good enough” weren’t really serving me and I wanted to live life differently. That involved redefining how I saw and spoke about myself.

Art was a big one for me because I’ve always felt called to create. But I spent a huge portion of my life doubting my abilities and denying myself the right to try and fail while still having fun.

If I can, in some small way, encourage you to try – knowing that failing is just part of trying; and encourage you to have fun while trying – I honestly believe that if you want to, you can create art to spark joy, too!

Not everyone wants to draw or color and that’s fine. But if there’s a part of you that has always wanted to but hasn’t given yourself permission to – for whatever reason……know that this is a safe space to start.

Calling all my fellow artists and creatives, we’d love to have you join us as we do a 30 day Art Challenge from September 1-30.