Tag: personal growth

Community & Connection

There is only 3 days until the start of the next Art Challenge and I do hope you join us. It’s such an incredible and soul filling experience to purposefully engage your creativity for 30 days.

One thing that’s so valuable as we start this journey is COMMUNITY. It’s amazing to join in with others who are expressing their creativity; to be encouraged and inspired by them. You are also part of the encouraging and inspiring process for others. It’s this incredible loop that cycles around and fills your soul. So if you don’t already follow my Facebook Page, click on the link below and follow me.

XANGELLE

I’m going to send you there right now to follow or like or whatever it is that you do to join and see posts because that is where we will be sharing our daily art and creativity. Each day there will be a post with the Day and Prompt. We will be sharing our art in the comments of each day’s post.

That way we can all see who is playing along with us in this Art Challenge . It’s a great way to collect the art for each day and we can encourage each other as we go along. Think of it as a virtual gallery. I’m excited to see what you create.

So if you haven’t already, go give my page a follow. I’m so excited to start this art challenge and to see where our creativity leads us.

Words are Art

What if I’m more interested in writing than I am in drawing or painting?

That’s AMAZING! Just like the picture says above….words are art, too!

If I could encourage you to do one thing, it would be to listen to your heart and create. Your heart might be desperate to draw and you’ve not done it because you’re not very good. If you’ve always dreamed of writing poetry or stories, do it.

Very few of us humans start out naturally good at anything. But if there’s a small voice inside of you that has been desperate to do something creative, listen to it. Start now. Start small. Let the beginning be just that. A beginning. Take those first few wobbly steps; and soon you’ll be walking steady and sure. It doesn’t happen over night though. Just acknowledge that and know that it’s part of the process.

I’m planning on writing some for this Art Challenge. It’s another creative outlet that I’ve always dreamed about. I’ve have written some, here and there but recently I’ve embraced creative writing along side drawing. When I do express myself through art or writing, it feeds my soul in ways that very little else does. There’s a satisfaction in doing something that the very core of you longs for.

Is there a part of you that desires to create in a way that you’ve been denying yourself? I’d totally encourage you to join us as we spend the month of September creating.

You can find the details here:

Click for the Art Challenge pdf.

Just Over a Week Away

The Art Challenge starts next Friday September 1 and goes through the 30th. We will be drawing or doodling or creating with joy and passion; maybe a little fear and trembling but honestly, I hope you enjoy it.

I’ve put together a little package together that you can print and have on hand to look at the prompts, think of ideas in advance, or just to hold in your hot little hands. I’ll post it in a link below. You can just click the link and it will take you to a page where you can print from or save it to your computer or phone. There’s a colour option that you can print double sided if you want or single page black and white version. I’ll also be posting the prompts the day before so you can come here or go to my Facebook Page or my Instagram and check it out if you’d rather follow along that way.

Click here for the Prompts and Art Challenge Pdf.

I can’t wait for another fabulous month of art and creativity and I do hope you join us.

But 30 Days is SO Long!

You might be wondering what kind of commitment this whole 30 Day Art Challenge is.

Honestly 30 days is a long time.

Will you be kicked out of “the club” if you miss a day?

NOPE

Will you be letting someone down if you miss a day?

NOPE

Will you be shamed or called out if you miss a day?

Also NOPE!

I would strongly encourage you to join our 30 Day Art Challenge with every plan of creating art every day.

Purposing to do this will allow you to get the most out of the process. It will also encourage you to get creative with finding ways to fit creativity into busy days. It could be a quick 5 min session while you wait for a bus or a kid. It could be drawing while you sit in the waiting room at the dr or dentist. It could be on your coffee break at work. We waste so much time but the more you realize that. The more you purpose to fit creativity in to your day to day life , the more ways and times and places you will notice that you can fit it in.

If you get to the end of your day and realize that you forgot or were too busy…..take note of that. Use that information to give you feedback. If you had the most soul fulfilling day packed with love and joy and people, then call it a win and have a good nights sleep. If you think back and feel like the day was tied up in fruitless busy-ness; think about how you can make changes to be living the life that you want to and make one plan to do so the next day.

If you choose to invest in a month of adding creativity to your life, make that month count. But don’t feel like a failure if life gets busy. Just come back to it.

Live life with the passion of a baby learning to walk. They try. They fall. They try. They fall. They keep trying and trying and trying and trying until they’ve got it.

This also means they fall and get up, over and over and over until they walk.

Also think about the fact that we say they are “walking” when they manage to stumble through 2 or 3 steps. We don’t run them down for falling. We cheer and squeal and shout and encourage them on.

Be your own cheerleader on this artistic journey. Speak gently and encouragingly to yourself. Let us, also, cheer you on. The more steps you take, the more you will be confident in your abilities. But it’s not about the finished product. It’s about the journey.

We’d love to have you join us from September 1-30 for our 30 Day Art Challenge. Stay tuned for more details.

Sharing Your (he)Art can be Scary

I think one reason that doing art and especially sharing art is hard is that it’s a piece of you. You are essentially “creating a piece from yourself” and if you expose it or share – the hope, the wish, the prayer is that people will be kind. That they will see something good. That they will accept and love and value the pieces of yourself that you put out there.

And that’s hard. Because not everyone will see or accept you. Sometimes we feel like it’s easier to protect or hide those parts of ourselves. To not expose or (even safer) to not even create.

But we lose out on something incredible when we stifle or repress the creative parts of ourselves that long to be expressed and seen.

It feels easier to deny our creative longings than it does to express them. But vulnerability is critical for both artistic and personal transformation.

But ironically, it’s when artists are courageous enough to tap into their vulnerability, they also tap into the healing power of art for themselves and the people who view their art.

Incredible Article Here

I’m on an artistic journey. I’m on a personal healing and transformative journey. I’m on a vulnerable journey; and if you are interested in walking along side of me. I welcome you. There is no judgement here. You will be seen and there is space for you.

Our Art Challenge starts on September 1 and goes for 30 days. We’d love to have you join us in whatever way you can. I’ll be here in all my glory and chaos. The mess and the wonder is invited to just be present.

You don’t need anything special. Paper and pen or pencil works but I would suggest some kind of a sketch pad, just so you have a journal of your journey.

Did you see my silly birds reel? I’d love to see your silly bird if you draw one (or a few)

It takes Courage

Waiting is not an easy thing.

Have you ever had a situation where you wished that time would speed up? I think we’ve all probably had situations of anticipation where you wished that time would hurry up already. It’s hard to wait when you’re hoping and praying and waiting for something.

I remember when I was pregnant. My pregnancies were not delightful. I was SO sick. I was so tired. It was uncomfortable and frankly, miserable. But…..I believed there was a beautiful ending and beginning. I hoped there was a beautiful ending and beginning and so, I waited.

I waited miserable, sick and exhausted. I tried to find the beautiful moments – like feeling the baby move inside me. It’s one of my most favourite moments in life. But mostly I just waited miserable, sick and exhausted. I was biding my time waiting for the end of my misery and the beginning of wonder.

I’m in another one of those times in life. I’m not pregnant. Not a chance. I’m way too old for those shenanigans. But I’m in a season that sometimes feels confusing and challenging. It’s a shifting season, a growth season, a rediscovery season and it’s frustrating.

In my devotions today, I said, “God I need something. I need a sign or a message or something to encourage me.”

And then I read Psalms 27:14. (NLT)

Green watercolor eucalyptus border along the bottom of the image with the words Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord. Psalms 27:14 overlayed on top of the image

Seriously! Wait. Wait??? Just wait.

But the words that really stood out to me were those words in the middle of the verse. Be brave and courageous. In another translation it says “Be of good courage and He will strengthen your heart.”

As I thought about those words today, it stuck with me that it takes courage to trust and wait. It takes strength of heart, determination and confidence to patiently wait when you don’t want to, when you feel impatient; especially, when you just want to rush in and make things happen.

And so, I wait. Hopefully with this reminder, I’ll be a little more patient and I’ll have a little more grace for myself and others. But I can also recognize that I am brave. I am strong. I am courageous. There is strength in waiting patiently and confidently. And so I wait.

Hurry Up and Wait

I woke up this morning from a sad dream. I’ll take those over nightmares any day but they are not my favourite kind of dream. I think the absolutely absurd ones are my favourite. Do you have a favourite kind of dream? Weird question, I know!

Anyway, back to my feelings! I felt sad and discouraged. It felt like my world was weighing so heavy on me.

I couldn’t easily shake the heaviness so I got up and got ready for the day. I grabbed a coffee and headed out to my garden. I watered a few plants, checked on my seedlings and then felt frustrated.

Some of my seeds sprouting

I was frustrated because I want them to be grown and mature plants producing beauty and nourishment.

I looked at my garden and felt irritated. You see, right now it’s in the beginning stages of growth. It looks an awful lot like “dirt”. The seeds are hidden and even the young plants are pretty sparse and gangly looking.

Cucumber seedling emerging

I know what it going’s to look like in a month from now. I planted healthy flower and vegetable seeds and it’s a certainty that at least some of them will grow. I also planted some more mature seedlings and provided that I tend to them and give them what they need, my backyard is going to be full of gorgeous greenery, flowers, veggies and herbs. There are going to be butterflies and bees flying around pollinating. Dragonflies will be zipping around and the ladybugs will be everywhere.

In less than a month, I’ll be harvesting salad and adding in herbs to my food. In 2 months, it will be even more stunning. I’ll have plants that reach over 6 feet tall and some that spread wide and it’s literally going to look like a garden oasis.

I can see it in my mind. I can picture myself drinking coffee in the morning or a glass of wine in the evening while I water plants or sit and relax.

But I’m impatient and I want it now. This all ties back to my dream. There are things I’m working toward and hope for that I don’t see the full fruition of and it’s easy to get discouraged if I get stuck in the here and now.

But I can trust that if I’m planting good seeds and tending to them; that the laws of sowing and reaping are as certain as the changing seasons. Even if I don’t know exactly how long the growth process is, I can trust and believe that at the right time, it will happen.

That’s easier said than done but I will keep reminding myself of this when I feel discouraged or frustrated. And I’ll try to remember that no amount of wishing or hoping or dreaming can make things happen any faster than they are supposed to.

Plant the seeds, nurture and tend to them until you see a harvest. It will happen.

Oh Disappointment.

I had an experience today where I felt misunderstood and I received (To be clear, it was never said that I was a disappointment. I would hazard a guess that I heard it through my own hurts and trauma) the message that I was a disappointment.

Oh my! Did that ever trigger me. I can feel myself spiralling downward and I don’t know how to stop it. Okay, let’s process this.

I can remember as a child, feeling like I’d disappointed people and it feeling devastating because I was trying my hardest to be good, to do good. The message I received was that “my good” wasn’t enough. That’s got to be so hard for a little one who is looking for worth and validation from those who love them.

How can that be? What would lead me to accept and believe that I’m not good enough? Did I feel rejected? Did I feel a relational separation or distance when disappointment was expressed?

That’s definitely another huge issue for me. I’m desperate to feel connected and accepted in relationship. Is that wrong? I don’t think it is. Isn’t that what we were created for? To be in relationship. If so, then a separation or distance would feel intolerable.

I wonder if, when I was a child, disappointment and relational distance was used in an effort to affect behaviour? I don’t believe it was done maliciously but I also don’t see how that is not traumatic regardless of intention. I can think of several instances where both disappointment and relational separation were used, at home, school and church. At that point, that was my whole life.

So how do I deal with this.

Well it sucks. It’s brutal to receive a message that indicates that you’re a disappointment and that the comfort and love that you crave and need in relational safety will be withheld if you displease someone.

When I think about the little parts of me. The small child that I was, my heart breaks for her. No child should feel like they are a disappointment. No child should receive the message that they aren’t good enough and no child should be left to figure out relationship on their own.

I can’t fathom doing that to my kids. There are times when I’ve been disappointed in their actions and I’ve tried so desperately hard to pull them close and indicate that I love them even if I didn’t particularly like a choice or action they made in the moment. I’ve tried to make it abundantly clear that they aren’t defined by any one action and that my love for them never changes. I communicate that I see the good in them and I speak it out over them. I want them to hear and know and believe that they are the incredible people that I see them as.

So how do I do this for myself.

Well, I guess a start could be reminding myself of all the good that I do see in me. I can speak out over myself that I am a good person. I am loving and kind, considerate, thoughtful, and encouraging. I want to do my best and to be my best.

And, I guess it’s possible that my best might not always be appreciated or accepted or even good enough for others. While I might wish that I was always appreciated and accepted and seen as good enough, the mature adult parts of me can recognize that’s not really realistic or even really necessary.

Oh but to the small parts of me it sure feels necessary, sometimes. Those wounded parts want to feel loved and safe and connected.

So, I will tend to those parts of me. I will be gentle with myself and compassionate towards myself and show love to myself. I will act towards myself in ways that foster relationship and connection, especially with the small parts of me who struggle to believe. Because I am good enough and I am worthy of love and connection. Even when I struggle to believe and assimilate it, it’s still true. I will look for those who are gentle and compassionate and loving towards me and I will notice and be so thankful for every interaction that affirms the truth.

I am a blessing. I am loved. I am cared for. I am safe. I am good.

Getting Started

Someone recently shared a photo with a book that I was intrigued by.

I love writing and I’m tired of feeling burnt out. This book “Journal Therapy for Overcoming Burnout” hits both of those issues and so I went onto Amazon and purchased it. I opened it up, sighed and put it on my bedside table; where I’ve looked at it every day for almost 2 weeks but done nothing with it.

Why would I be needing a burnout journal? Isn’t everyone kind of a little stressed? It’s been a hell of a past couple of years with the pandemic , no? When you add in all the previous life adventures that we’ve been through, it’s a wonder I haven’t crashed and burned long before now.

Well, honestly, I did

In fact last summer, I crashed and burned in the most spectacular way. By spectacular, I mean devastating. I kept going trying to “take care” of everything and everyone except myself, until I couldn’t any longer.

It’s been a tough year, as I navigate the fallout from the crash and attempt to “do life” in a way that is honouring to both me and those I love.

I want to be the very best version of me that I can be. I believe that I am kind and considerate, compassionate, caring, understanding, respectful, loving, encouraging and many other wonderful descriptive words.

My own childhood traumas and triggers have me doubting whether anyone else sees me the way I do and if for some reason they don’t see the good in me, am I delusional? Am I actually a bad person? I can’t fathom that and yet, those little parts of me seek approval and can’t quite believe that they are good enough to be loved and accepted. It sucks.

Sometimes…..most of the time, I want to dive head first into pursuit of emotional healing and other times the insecure parts of me feel overwhelmed and fearful that there is just going to be more pain and hurt. I feel like I’ve experienced at least “a world of hurt” and probably deserve a short break from it.

I don’t think that’s how life works though and I’m more than willing to put in the work necessary because I want my best life and I’m responsible for creating it.

So, I sat down for 5 minutes this morning. Read through day 1 and wrote for 3 minutes. It wasn’t nearly as hard or difficult as I had made it out to be.

Sometimes, we just need to get started. Even if we do it scared. Especially when we know we will benefit.

Is there something you’ve been putting off that you know will benefit you? Is there a small first step that you can take? Sometimes, I find that “putting it out there” helps to hold you accountable or gives you that “kick in the butt” to get going.