I Felt Like My Head Was Going To Explode.

I almost asked Jon to pull over onto the side of the road so that I could get out of the car and lie down on the pavement.

I hurt so bad, and all I could think was, “If I could just not move then the pain might go away.” All the while, the van was jerking violently over every crack and bump in the road and swerving wildly around every hairpin corner. The continual lurching to a stop, combined with the lights pulsing from shadow to glare 10 times per second just about sent me over the edge. I wanted to throw up and was desperatly trying to keep myself from throwing up and the tension of those two acts countering each other was about more than I could take.

I finally did make Jon pull over at a gas station to pick me up some Tylenol and Advil and I pounded the combination down faster than a drowning man gasps for air. I wished I could just cut my head off – not to die, but just to be rid of the pain…..it was absolutely overwhelming and we still had 15-20 minutes left until we made it home, but it felt like it was a billion days. I couldn’t even fathom continuing on like I was. (In reality he was driving normally – this is what it felt like to me)

About 2 minutes after we pulled back onto the road, I made Jon pull over and I unloaded onto the side of the road…..which totally sucked because I watched some of the medication that I was so desperately craving now sitting on the side of the highway…….and then I don’t remember anything more until we pulled into our driveway and I somehow made it out of the car, up the stairs and face first onto my bed in the darkness.

My mom asked how what wrong and I’m not even sure what I said to her. I layed on the bed and hurt so bad that I started crying, but that made it all hurt even worse and so as bad as I was feeling, I forced myself to stop. I must have fallen asleep then.

Jon said that I slept for about 45 minutes and in that time, the combination of the Tylenol and Advil kicked in and when I woke up, I was still in pain, but it had eased up so that the pain wasn’t the ONLY thing that I could focus on.

I can’t believe how horrid it felt or how quickly it seemed to come on. I had a bit of a headache when we left work, and by the time we made it to Surrey, it was bad enough that I probably would have taken a few Tylenol when I got home. Somewhere between Surrey and Langley, it had morphed into the kind of monster that took over my life.

I took something stronger last night and slept peacefully – albiet drugged – from 11:30pm until 4am. Then I had a hard time sleeping until about 6am, but slept from 6am-8am. I still hurt today, but no where near like what I felt yesterday.

I’m not loving this.

It hurts. I hope that it doesn’t happen again sanytime soon. This was seriously the Mother of All Headaches. I used to get headaches ALL THE TIME, and then I didn’t have any for FOREVER. This one kicked any ol’ migraine that I’ve ever had. I’ve felt like throwing up before, but never actually threw up. Now I can check that one off my list of things to do. I’ve seen the spots and done the whole fuzzy thing, but to feel like I just blanked out because of the pain……WOW! I’m hoping that this was a fluke one off thing.

Do any of you suffer from migraines on a regular basis? Do they wreck you for a day or so? What do you do?

I’m Still Here

I can’t even fathom the fact that it’s been almost 2 weeks since I last posted.

The thing is…..I want to be on here recording more of what’s going on in our lives and yet…..i just haven’t.

Our lives are busy. Good busy! But busy, nonetheless, and I’m typically exhausted and I like to bring funny stuff here. As I type this, it makes no sense to me because who cares if it’s funny. I just love to go and read about other people’s lives. And even the boring stuff is interesting to me because it’s more insight into who they are and what they are doing and why they do things the way they do.

I know that it’s only a “part” of their lives, but I still find it fun and interesting.

So, here I am.

I think the biggest thing that I’m frustrated is the fact that I am currently spending 8 hours a week in the car travelling and that SUCKS! That’s an entire day of my week gone. I’m trying to figure out how to use that time….on the phone or when Jon’s with me we can be planning and discussing things, but more often than not it’s just wasted time. DOUBLE SUCKS!!

AND….on top of that, I’ve started to exercise and I’m up to 40 minutes on my eliptical machine which if you throw in a shower at the end – which is totally necessary – that’s an hour each time, and I’ve scheduled in 3 times for sure and if I can, I try to do more. This whole exercise thing is funny. I hate it. Even after almost a month, I still hate it, and yet I think about getting on that machine way more than I ought to – so there is something that is happening that my body is craving…..and I seem to hit my stride at about 12 minutes in and then I LOVE IT for the next 20 minutes and then I HATE IT for the next 8 minutes. They usually go something like this…..imagine me trucking along on the machine and as the cycle of information (minutes done, speed, distance, calories and heart rate) pases by I count down in 30 second intervals (that’s how long it takes to cycle through) 8 minutes…….7 and a half minutes……..7 minutes…..6 and a half minutes……Jon, come and distract me……Siah, come and dance for mommy…….I wonder how long I’ve got left to go now…..AAAAAAAAAK! Are you kidding me still 5 and a half minutes…..okay, 5 minutes, now….

And it goes like that all the way until the 40 minutes is up….LOVELY, eh?

I know that I’m feeling better and that I have more energy, and there are times that I “WANT” to get moving, but somehow it’s not my most favorite thing to do. Any of you, out there, exercise freaks? Will I start LOVIN’ this at some point? Or is it always just going to be a decision to make it happen?

Another thing that’s frustrating me about this is that instead of losing weight……I actually put on weight? I’m watching what I’m eating and I gained about 4 pounds. When you are trying to “LOSE” weight – well, the gain just really threw me. I’m sticking with it, and I’m now at 183, but still…..what’s up with that?

I wish I had taken my measurements at the beginning to see if I’m losing inches. I think I am because the “muffin top” that hung ever so elegantly over the waistband of my jeans is almost non-existant and I have room in my belt when I put it at my normal “comfy” belt hole. So, both of those things would lead me think that I’m changing shape, even if the number hasn’t done what I’d like it to. Oh, and there’s the loving way that Jon mentioned that where my butt had pretty much slid down into my thighs, now it’s retaining a more shelf like appearance. Thanks for putting that so eloquently, honey! You’re have such a way with words – eloquence like a poet…..seriously.

Well, I’m sure that I could ramble some more, but i got a baby to feed and myself to get ready for the day and then I gotta kick it into high gear as today is an “at home” day and I gotta lot to do in a short amount of time.

It’s About that Time of Year, is it?

Well, Jeremy came home with a bit of a cough about a week ago, and then it seemed to spread to Siah and then the girls started coughing…

I figured that it would pass in a few days and all would be fine.

Well, either it was a wicked little bug with some severe staying power or it just weakened our immune systems just enough for it’s friend “THE ALMIGHTY NASTY POWERFUL COLD” to move on in.

My mother-in-law was down for the count yesterday, but whatever she’s got is different from what I’ve got.  And I don’t think that I could have picked it up that fast from her anyway….you know with incubating periods and all….the little buggers have got to have some time to spawn….or something like that.

Anyway, so I’m full of snot and I have a bit of a cough but it’s mostly just in my throat…..there is no real chest involvement going on over here…..just lots and lots and lots of snot.

YUCK!

So, I’m pounding back the Vitamin C and drinking an entire ocean load of hot lemon water and if I feel like partying it up real hard, we might throw a little homeopathic remedy or two around – you know, just to keep it interesting.

The problem is…..I really am supposed to be working today.  I got stuff to do and books to cook and well, I’m just trying to figure out what is really important and what I can just put off for another day.  Oh so much fun!

What I want from you – my dear sweet Internet friends – is your best cough/cold remedy.

You know, the one that you use when you feel like crap?  Or maybe it’s the one that crazy Aunt Maude started pushing on your family 60 years ago and no one can explain why or how, but it really does work?  Or the one that Uncle Harry brought home from the war and claims that it saved him and an entire Amy Hospital from dying?  Or the one that your best friends mother uses and you have to avoid the house for 3 days because it smells so bad – but she claims it really works?

Ya know…..just help a girl out over here and in return…..

Here’s a cruddy first morning picture of me just crawled outta bed, no make up, one snot drip away from needing a fresh tissue…..I’m feeling really yummy here.

sick

In Keeping With the Theme…..

So, last week was a bit of a rough week for us over here, BUT……..we’ve survived and are back to being our cheerful happy selves.

Thanks for sharing with me. I love it when your girlfriends will sit down and cry with you and then out of left field, you get a dear friend who gives you a bit of a kick in the pants, and it’s all good. Thank you…….seriously THANK YOU!

But, in the middle of all of this, I’ve been noticing that my house has kind of thrown up on itself.

I was NEVER a packrat – EVER! in fact, I would regularly go through my “memory chest” and re-sort and file (under G for Garbabge) things so that I only ever had a certain amount of “the most important things“.

A few years into marriage, someone who lived next door to us, had peeked in through our window (can we say creepy, sleezy, stalker?) and wanted to know if we were moving. It was far enough into our marriage that we weren’t sporting that “just got married/don’t have enough stuff/trying to fake that we really are grown ups now” look. I just really REALLY liked a clean, no extra crap look.

Only the bare essentials for me thank you….

This continued on in our married lives for years. In fact, we moved houses 9 times in 7 years, and instead of it being a problem (I mean, obviously we had problems as you can tell because what “normal” person moves 9 times in 7 years…..at least 4 of those with kids) I actually looked forward to it because it was just another opportunity to “throw more crap away“.

And then……..THEN…..then we moved to our current home. Where we apparently set down roots….or had a pile driver come out and drive some piles into our current home. We’ve been here for the past 7.5 years. Even for the first couple of years, I just threw things out. It was kind of like a revolving door policy. If something was going to come in, then something else needed to go out. I only had “so much” room and was not going to let things get cluttered.

And now here I am and my house feels CHAOTIC, and I don’t understand how we got here, where all this stuff came from and when did I change and WHY?

I’ve been getting rid of crap lately (see, my theme that I mentioned – ha ha ha ha) No, I’m serious. I’ve been throwing stuff out. If it’s not super important to me or the kids – then OUT it goes.

And, over the weekend, we got rid of a van load of junk, and I have another van load of junk to go tonight. I’m totally embarrased typing that out, because I must admit that I’m barely even started yet. Now, before you go all “crazy” and think that I’m living in the dump….remember that my normal sense of “clutter free” is probably a bit harsher than yours….remember the previous comments of my house looking like we were moving…yah – I like the minimalist look.

But, I did have WAY TOO MUCH CRAP and I’ll be throwing it out, giving it away, or selling it so that I can finally feel like I can breathe again.

I think I figured out when and why it happened.

Almost 4 years ago, we sweet little boy died before we even got a chance to hold him, and it ROCKED MY WORLD.

I’ve not been the same since.

It was hard to breathe let alone worry about my house. It was an effort to just survive and only the very most important things got any energy focused toward them…..like caring for the kids, but honestly, I don’t think I did a very good job of even that. It’s amazing to me when I see how far from “that place” that I am, but it’s sad to see how the “effect” of losing Nathaniel is still with me.

I’m stronger than I knew I was, and yet I’m also aware of a sense of frailty. I can’t “do it all“. I recognize that I tire easier. I can’t plan too many events in a row or I feel overwhelmed. I like my alone and quiet time. I’m just so different. It’s the same me but different. I sit here trying to explain in words, and I fell like I’m not doing a very good job, and really to say “it feels like a part of me died with Nathaniel” is probably the best way of explaining it. Not in a sad, depressed way, but just that a small part of me changed and will never be the same, and that happened when Nathaniel died. I still don’t think I’m explaining it well, but that’s okay.

Back to my house….I just didn’t care as much about……well….I just didn’t care about much. But the further I get away from that point in time, the more I’m aware of the healing that takes place over time. I don’t think there is anything else that can make the process go faster – just TIME!

And no – having Siah didn’t make things better. I love Josiah. I’m so thrilled that he’s a part of my life. He has his own spot in my heart and in my life. He didn’t fill the spot that was Nathaniel’s; he never could, and he was or never is supposed to.

I love the fact that Nathaniel is still having an impact on my life today. I never got to hug, and raise him, but his legacy lives on. It lives on with every “thing” that I process and learn about “living, dying, grieving and healing

In thinking about my house and processing why I am at where I am today, and how I got here….I realize that it’s all a part of the process. I can choose to see it as such or I can be frustrated.

I choose to just walk it out. And so today, walking it out means that I am seriously decluttering.

And I’m loving it.

How about you? Are you a pack rat or do you like the minimalist look or do you have a healthy balance?

Did Ya Miss Me?

I’M BACK!

I don’t know that I post frequently enough for anyone to “miss” me, but regardless…..I’m back, and I’m hoping that things will be a bit more “normal” aorund here.

I had a GREAT weekend away. I was at a women’s retreat. It was amazing. 30 women gathered together to love on each other, to share with each other, to bond, to get refreshed, to get in touch with some of the dreams that we’ve had, and to re-ignight the passion to see those dreams fulfilled, to laugh, to feel restored, to remember how important that “we” are and that we need to take care of ourselves, to eat AMAZING food – that we didn’t have to prepare or clean up from…..the list just keeps on going and going and going.

It was an awesome time away.

I was even privileged to be one of the 3 FABULOUS speakers…the other two women who shared are some SERIOUSLY AMAZING women….with so much insight, and I was completely honored to be asked to share on BOUNDARIES.

It’s something that I am passionate about and to be able to share some of what I know in the hopes of it empowering others….it was AWESOME!

I actually walked away from this weekend feeling better than I have leaving any other ladies retreat that I’ve been involved in. It was a weird feeling. I was tired, but not overwhelmingly so.

I did come home exhausted, and I went to bed fairly early last night after sitting around the house and not doing too much, and then Jon – the wonderful, WONDERFUL man that he is let me sleep in this morning, and I actually feel ready to hit this week.

Usually it takes me a couple of days to feel ready to hit the ground running, but not this time…YAH!

I feel like I’m in a transitional time. It’s like I’m changing from a caterpiller to a butterfly and I’m right in the middle of the change.

Insecurities and worries that would have plauged me and tormented me until I felt crushed by them are not weighing that heavy on me, and I feel like I have to confidence to take the next steps in my life that I’m supposed to.

I did really good ALL weekend. Just a few little teeny, tiny, insecure thoughts that were “Oh so easy to banish”, but mostly it all felt “right”…..it’s not been until I got home and my mind started wondering and replaying the weekend that I started to feel a little “off”. I am okay. It’s just like I’m in that change state…..recognizing that the “old, insecure” me is slowing giving way to the “new, strong” me and like any negative behaviour…..it’s not going to give up it’s control easily.

I’m excited to see what the future holds for me.

I love to see women empowered and loved on and to see them feel “safe” especially with other women…..I LOVE IT.

I think I might post a little about what I talked about. Would you be interested in reading a bit about what I was able to share this past weekend?

How are you with personal boundaries?

Too Busy – Looking Forward to Next Week

This week is insane for me.

My house is a disaster. I have a butt load of music to plan. I have to practise my mad guitar skillz. I gotta make some more necklaces to sell. I still have to fold the Mt. Everest of laundery sitting in my front room….plan and make dinners…pay bills…buy groceries….and all I want to do is to go to sleep.

As mentioned in my previous post I’ve been experiencing a bit of a Niagra Falls experience over here, and I think that as a result I think I might have a bit of low iron situation going on. I’m currently taking Floradix and am hoping that will help things out, but right now – I’m a cold, tired, whiney baby!

I have also been a bit distracted by the whole US Election, and am waiting to see the results of that.

In other fun and exciting news, Jeremy blew our microwave up on the weekend. Well, it didn’t technically blow up and it even still works, but he put a “warm bag” in to heat it up so that he could snuggle wth it and instead of putting it in for 2 minutes…..he went with the whole “If 2 minutes is good, then 10 minutes would be better” thought process, and seeing as we are such attentive parents, we didn’t notice until we started asking ourselves what the idiots downstars were burning this time, and ONLY AFTER multiple sniff checks through the floor heating grates did we come to the conclusion that THAT HORRID SMELL was actually coming from somewhere in our house….and OH MY GOODNESS CRAP! What the heck is in the microwave, and why is the microwave covered in orange yuck and man….put that thing out on the back deck…..

So, we are currently microwave-less. Which is not the end of the world because we were planning on doing it anyway – you know……bad radiation waves, and reverse polarisation and all that crap….and seriously…the stupid microwave was given to us as a gift by my grandparents before we got married as an engagement gift……oh…..400 years ago….or maybe just 13+ years ago and it’s had a good long life.

This just means that we have to think ahead in reagards to defrosting meat and reheating cups of cold tea or coffee. It’ll all be good – Right?

Well, the baby is still sleeping – it’s been two hours and so I’m going to go and work on some necklaces which means that as soon as I open everything up and just get started he’ll wake up….that way I’ll be sure to be completely frustrated and not just a little.

How’s your week been so far? Could you go micro-wave-less in your house?

Probably TMI……Guys! You’ve Been Warned!

So, I started my period on Wednesday.

This is the first one in exactly two years. I have never had my period while nursing, but I’ve always quit nursing around 14 -15 months, and have always started around 14 – 15 months. Josiah is 14 – 15 months and I started my period BUT…..I’ve not stopped nursing so I’m not really sure what the deal is.

Regardless, it’s been….um….interesting.

Things have always been rather heavy for me, and this one has been unreal.

Over the past 6 months, I’ve been thinking and wondering about what to do because we’ve been taking steps to using less “consumables” and making more ecological purchases and decisions, and I wasn’t sure what to do when I got my periods again.

I had looked at Glad Rags, but I hate pads and wasn’t really overly excited about that option. I know someone who is making reusable cloth pads for girls in 3rd world and developing nations, and I might buy some from her for my girls when the time comes. I do like the idea of no chemicals and less waste, but I personally don’t like using pads.

I’ve also been looking at (with a great deal of interest) at the Diva Cup. I know two people who have used it at they’ve both said the same thing. It’s great, but they wondered about having to deal with it in a public restroom when they were working.

For me that’s not a huge deal as I’m home the majority of the time and should be able to work around being out and not needing to fiddle with it when I go out, but dealing with it all before I go anywhere.

Soooooooo, I bought the Diva Cup today and have used it so far and I LOVE IT! So far, IT’S AMAZING….no leaks and no mess. It was easy to insert. It wasn’t difficult to read or to figure out the instructions. Removal was easy. Clean up was a snap.

It cost about $40.00 and by the time I finsh using it next month….It will be paid off. I will have gone through 4 boxes of tampons by the time this period is inished. I typically have a heavy flow and so for me this will be definately a money saver. Between the money saved, the product not consumed, the lack of leakage….I could just go on and on about how much I love this thing so far.

If you’ve been thinking about or wondering about getting it…..it’s money well spent, in my opinion.

103.8 and Vision

That was Josiah’s temperature this morning when I finally was concerned enough at how hot he was and took it.

Not fun! NOT FUN AT ALL!

He slept peacefully until 3:45am and at that point I didn’t notice anything. He nursed and went straight back to sleep. Then when he woke up at 5 something…..Jon cuddled him and when he finally got him down he said that when he picked him up he was shivering badly.

He woke up again at 6ish and I went to go and get him and he was shivering terribly and I noticed that his head was quite hot. I brought him to bed and nursed him and he laid beside me and shivered. It was so sad.

Finally at about 6:45am was when I took his temp.

So, he’s been sleeping off and on since then. He is still trying to be happy and funny and chattering about things, but only for just a word or two and then he lays his head down like it’s way to heavy for him to hold up.

I gave him a bit of Tylenol because I figured that his temp was quite high enough and because he seemed to be really uncomfortable.

He perked up right around the time that the Tylenol would have kicked in and although his temp didn’t go down as low as I’d have liked, it’s still down some.

I have a feeling that I’ll be sitting, cuddling and nursing a fair bit today.

***********************

I’m hoping that IMAGE OPTOMETRY calls me today. Last Wednesday, I was wearing my glasses…. (click here to see my lovely beauties. It’s a bad shot, but seeing as I’m the one ALWAYS behind the camera there aren’t so many of me.)….and they fell right off my face, hit the table and landed on the floor in two pieces.

The arm had fallen off.

They’d had a good life – I bought them 3.5 years ago and have worn them just about all the time.

See, I have really light sensitive eyes. It’s not so bad when I’m pregnant, but I noticed it back in between when I was pregnant with Geli and Xandra, and has pretty much been wearing sunglasses ALL THE TIME since then.

I’ve gone and had my eyes checked and all is good – I have a slight prescription, and my eyes tend to run on the dry side, but all of this completely unhelpful information is just to let you know that if you see me, I’m not “rock star-ring” out. My eyes are just bothered by the light. Outside is really bad, but I’ve also noticed that inside is bothering me too, and so I just wear my lightly tinted glasses all the time, now. I also get wicked migraines and light can be a trigger so…..yah, so. I don’t know whereall I’m going with all that so I’ll just stop….

Anyway, I popped off to Image Optometry which is where the BEST OPTOMETRIST in the world works.

A big shout out to Dr. Jesse Manhas – amazing AMAZING Doctor. We love him.

Anyhoooooooo, I got the coolest glasses….and when I actually pick them up (they’re calling me either today or tomorrow to come and get them) – I’ll take a picture and show you.

They have tinted the glass and then used the Transitions technology on top of that….so they will always be tinted but they will go dark outside. Sweet! I’ve wanted this for a while, but just never did it.

I’m so excited. I can’t wait.

I should take a pic and show you the cheap “in between” pair that I bought in the mean time…..maybe if I get around to it, because I’m sure you all want to see them, don’t you? You know you do….

Well, I’m off to finish getting ready for the day (makeup and hair and all that crap) and to call the kids school to let them know that I won’t be helping out at lunch today….stupid fever.

******************

I do have a bunch of new jewlery to add to the store, and if I have the time today…I’ll try to make it happen. I’ve got some really cool necklaces and bracelets and even some mens necklaces to add into the mix.

So, check back soon to see the new stuff.

Little Things

I knitted up this little kimono over the past fews days.

I’ve made a few of them for Josiah….done up in cotton yarn. I love the simplistic almost earthy look and feel of the cotton kimono. I’ve worn them on Siah with his little brown yoga pants and I think he looks so cute.

Someone I know has just recently had a baby boy, and I wanted to give them something. It so easy to just go and buy something from the store. You should be able to find something that they might like, and even if they don’t like it – no worries – they can take it back and exchange it for something they do like.

Nowadays, it feels like people don’t like giving, and some don’t like getting, hand made gifts. I think that’s because everyone’s tastes differ, and unless you know the person really well – it’s hard to know if they will like what you are giving.

I think that it’s often times hard to “put yourself out there” and to say that “I really like this and I’ve made it and I really hope that you like it”. It’s almost like giving a piece of yourself, and if you have any insecurities, then you are just hoping that they won’t take “that piece of you” and throw it in the garbage.

In trying to continue on with our “30 Days of Nothing” and in being aware of the money, time and effort spent, I made this little kimono. The yarn cost $2.99 and I bought it a bit ago. I spent probably 10 hours in total making this, and I think I am at the point, within myself, that regardless of whether it is appreciated in the same way that I appreciate it – I will not get my worth or value from that.

This doesn’t mean that I’m wanting to give gifts without regard for the recievers thoughts and opinions. I want to try and give things that others will like, but if it’s not their MOST FAVORITE GIFT EVER – I won’t be devestated. My crafts don’t define me….they don’t give me “worth”.

I’ve also had a hard time with the fact that what I make seems so “insignificant”. I mean, come on, $2.99 for a gift. How cheap is that? Or if I made some cards for a gift….I just glued a few scraps of paper together….that’s not really that great of a gift. It’s just all in my mind. I’ve been hung up in my mind. I guess that some of this is an indication of what I think of myself and how much value I have placed on myself and on my time and even on my creativity.

Ummm, that would be…”Not very much!”

I think that I must be growing up some. I’m by no means “there” yet, but I’m coming to terms with the fact that I have value. I’m slowly coming to terms with the fact that my time has value and that the creativity inside of me – even though some of it comes easily to me – that doens’t diminish that there is still worth and value.

But all of that comes back to me realizing that “I HAVE VAUE!” I’m still working on it, but I think it’s slowly sinking in….or at least parts of it are.

Here are some pictures of the little sweater. I’m still hoping she likes it. It was fun to make a tiny one. I only wish I had some labels made up. These are way too much work to be able to recoup costs – I’d have to charge you a million dollars just for one, and then they’d never sell at that price, but I’d still love to make some up in my “throw away time”….. that’s time spent sitting in the car driving into Vancouver (its an hour’s drive from here) or in front of the TV in the evenings….and to be able to give them away for fun. I’d love to have some little lables that said “petite singe” It means “little monkey” It would be fun to embroider a little monkey head somewhere on the sweater…just me dreaming….

Anyway, here’s the kimono….

Isn’t it cute?

Letting it go….letting it ALLLLLLLLLLLL go!

So, ummmmm….thanks for letting me vent yesterday. Not like you really had a choice, because I kinda did it without asking, but for any and all who did read, and just nodded your heads and carried on…..yah….that’s about what I needed.

I needed to get it out there and then I spent the rest of the day processing and today – I am in a much better frame of mind.

I have some clarity about some things….things of which I will speak of shortly or soon or in the not too distant future, but for now….it is enough to say that I am back in the state of “being content where I am at.”

In other, completely unrelated news…Jon is giving Siah a bath because he asked for one. This kid (read that to say baby, not kid) loves the water, and I had just sat down to try and blather on and on here, and he headed straight for the bathroom, which usually means a little toilet fishing, and with certain bigger little boys who sometimes forget to flush…..not that I’m mentioning names or anything…..that can be a scary, scary thing.

So, I cut him off at the path, and he pointed towards the bath…which had water in it from J popping in for fun this afternoon. I told ‘Siah that if he wanted to have a bath that he’d had to talk to daddy. then I said, “bath” a few times and took him out and closed the door. I had JUST sat back down and he took off, bookin’ it at warp speed – well as fast as 1 foot tall chubby legs will carry you – towards my room and bathroom….this is where he “normally” has a bath….I ran to get him before he went toilet fishing in my bathroom, and when I picked him up he looked at me and said, “ba..”

So I asked him “what to do want?” and he said it again….”ba..”

So I took him out to Jon and told him to tell Daddy what he wanted and he looked right at Jon and smiled HUGE and said it again.

It’s so cute to see him start to say little words. He understands more than he is speaking, but the little words are so cute.

In less cute news, Jeremy tried to ummmmmm….use the toilet from a standing position and well…it ended badly and I had a bunch of smeary cleaning to do……Needless to say, he got quite the talking about the evils of sky dumping and why it would cost him HUGE if he ever did it again.

Geli choked down a whole plate of “meatless” tacos that she didn’t really like….which is AMAZING because to get her to try ANYTHING new is a serious challenge let alone eat something that she doesn’t like with out too much complaining….that is the key here…..without TOO MUCH COMPLAINING. There was some complaining, but not enough that it made our ears bleed.

Xani is reading everything in site, and is making it quite difficult to keep her in books. She just finished “Hinds Feet On High PLaces” and is going to be starting “Pilgrims Progress in the next couple of days…..She has a serious reading addiction, although I’m not really upset…..read, baby, read.

Jon has got so much work that he is trying to not stress out, and well…..sometimes that’s hard. Who knew that too much work could be almost as stressful as too little….who knew???!?!?!?

I’m…..well…..I’m trying to get us all ready and organized for a vacation that coming up before too long….ya know…with menu’s and bags and all the “gear” that is needed for vacationing with a baby and 3 other kids…..and I’m trying to ONLY BRING what it necessary, and not TOO much.

Alright…that’s it for now…