Jeremy went and spent the night at my parents place last week, and just a few hours after my mom picked him up, she e-mailed me this….
I like to go to my Nana Karen’s house. It makes me “happy” …..she always has fun things to do. We usually do arts and crafts together…… This one is all my own idea. I made it just for her…Do you think she will like it? I used her lipstick… it is such a coooool color……
The week of our vacation was eye opening in some different ways, and it actually really cemented some of what I want or am looking for in my life.
We had two large families – by today’s standards – in close quarters for 9 days, and we all did really well together.
It was like a huge family unit.
All our different strengths and weaknesses were apparent, and there was such a sense of love and unity and working toward togetherness…it was amazing.
This is not to say that everything we did, that everyone else agreed or even liked what we were doing, but that we trusted each other enough and loved each other enough, and truley believed that each of us had the best interests of the other at heart.
I think that in “society” today, we have such an sense of independance and isolation, and individualism and that we’ve lost a good part of the community or “village” mentality. I think that we have lost out on the support and help and the wise input from others in raising our families and also in growing and maturing ourselves.
I remember when I wa younger and lived in North Vancouver. We were a part of a local church, and there were many different people from all walks of life….young adults, singles, young marrieds, young families, parents of older kids, empty nesters, and the elderly. There was so much imput that all could have to offer and we as kids growing up in this close community knew that we always had someone close who could help us out or who we could talk to or that if we were doing something that we shouldn’t be doing, we knew that we had a hundred pair of eyes and ears watching our for us and over us.
I think that it created a very safe place to grow up in, and a very safe place to learn in and so many different views to learn from.
I think that there is something to say for having different views and insight on any given situation. It enables you to learn to think through different situations before coming up with a plan.
Our vacation was such an example of community or family at work. When I needed extra support with my kids, I always had another adult gently reminding my kids of what I had said, and I was able to offer the same support. I also love the fact, that there are different things that are important to different people, and that we can see be watching, what different things are important to different people and then you ven have the opportunity to watch and work out why those different things might be important, and you have the option of learning and growing from what they are doing. Not that you are trying to be exactly like them, but you can learn and adapt what others do to fit within your family life.
In dealing with Jeremy, specifically, I don’t feel like too many people understand him or where he’s coming from, or us and specifically us dealing with him.
Dealing with a child who has ADD can be utterly and completely ovrwheling, and tiring beyond all reason. And there are no signs that show that there in anything “wrong” with the child aside from the destruction that follows him, and the stressed out parent hovering closely by.
I spend so much of my time trying to protect both you from Jeremy and Jeremy from you.
It was amazing to me, that this past week – I was able to relax a little and to let others help me in parenting Jeremy. There were still moments that I stressed, and problems that had to be dealt with, but to feel that there was someone else that I trusted with him….that even if they didn’t completely understand Jeremy and what was “up with him” that they wanted to understand, and that they loved him and us and had our best interests at heart.
I couldn’t have said all that to you…..what I did know was that I felt safe. Safe to let Jeremy be Jeremy and safe to just be me.
Over the course of the week, Jeremy did do some things that were not acceptable. It is all related to the ADD, and dealing with things “NOW” without thinking through the consequences and having him dealing with Jason or Lise as opposed to me was interesting. It’s not that no one was upset (it wasn’t about being upset or not being upset), but that even in our upsettedness (is that even word) that there was a different way to deal with and/or explain things to Jeremy. I love that. I love that in love and trust there is safety.
I want to try and find a way to foster and grow a village for my family. I love the idea of many people pouring into my kids and even me, and I want to be a part of pouring into others in the same way.
How? How does this happen? I’m still working that through, but I think that honesty, openess and just being real – plays a big part of it.
The more open and real I am about my struggles, as oppsed to trying to put on the “perfect face” and trying to be “perfect” in front of everyone, the more others will grow to know and understand what I’m going through, and the more understanding and caring they will be.
I’m still working all this through, but it’s what I’m working towards.
Do you have any thoughts on the matter?
We are staying in town at Jon’s parents this weekend, and it’s been such a nice day.
We took the kids to the pool, stopped at Choice’s Market, picked up a swim suit for Geli (and boy was that fun), had a barbeque, and now the kids are all in bed – Jon is chatting with his brother, and I am plunking away on the computer.
We have to be up bright at early tomorrow to be at a 9am service – fun, fun, fun.
I’ll be around a bit more next week and I think that I’m going to plan for some “down time” as last week ended up feeling way to rushed and busy.
Jeremy is finished his first full week of Summer School, and has gone from entering the program and reading at a level 14 on Monday to reading at a level 8 on Friday. This kind of bugs me a bit because I’ve never thought that jeremy was as “behind” as they figured he was. He has always read for me, at home, way better than they had indicated at the school. Once we put jeremy on Ritalin, the Learning Assistance teacher tested him and he was at a level 14/15 – this is when he was signed up for the Summer camp program….withint the last few weeks of school they tested him again, and he was at a 16, and the they tested him once more and said that he was at a 17 and maybe they could have pushed him once more up to an 18…..
The reason why this ugs me is because the level that they expect you to finish off Grade two at is level 20….Jeremy is 2 levels away from that once week into Summer School. Now I’m sure this is a great program, but I’m also equally sure that it’s not that great, that he’s just flying through the levels because of their great program.
So, I wonder at the necessity of the program. Now, I know that it can only help, and that it won’t hurt for him to have the extra 5 weeks of teaching, but it sure is bothersome to me.
We have to be around to drop him off at 9am, and to pick him up at 2:45pm and to read with him for 15 minutes before we can leave. It means that I really can’t go anywhere during the day. And that sucks!
I know it will be good when he goes back in the fall, but whine, whine whine…it sucks now.
Well, that is about the extent of the words that Ihave to share right now.
Gonna go and post on the other side about some family member…..you could check it out…..if you wanted to.
It was the perfect picture taking day on Saturday morning. The sky was grey and bright with high cloud cover and it was perfect.
We tried to get ready in a hurry, but for whatever reason….all 8 thousand of them…we didn’t leave the house until after 1pm.
And by that time it was sunny. Was I ever upset to see the sun. Can you believe that I even typed that down let alone thought it? I know, it’s horrifying after all the bad weather that we’ve had, and we are exactly 5 days away from summer…not cool…not cool at all.
So, we made it to City Hall and everyone piled out of the van and as I scouted out the best location and flicked my camera on…..I realized that I had left the battery…………in the charger…………at home!
So, we had to pile everyoneback into the van and drive back home, but fortunately, City Hall is only about 5 minutes or less away from our house – so not the end of the world….just slighty frustrating.
We made it back to City Hall and once again everyone piled out of the van and took off across the grass.
We got the kids and Daddy “Happy Father’s Day” special shot as evidenced below….
The kids were pretty good, well except Jeremy decided that today wasnot a day for just normal smiling, and so that made things a bit difficult as evidenced below…..
Apparently, I’m liking the phrase “as evidenced below” today…it’s a good one. Try it out, let the words rooooollllllll off your tongue. I’ll try to see if I can fit it in a few more times in this post…..special like, just for you.
If you click on the first picture, it’ll take you to the pics that I didn’t delete because I considered them okay….I could probably mess with them in photoshop for some of them, but you’ll get the general idea. I was LOVE the pictures of Geli. She’s been known to take some REALLY bad photos in her day, but on Saturday – that prize went to Jeremy.
If you click on the picture of him, it’ll take to you the other pics that I didn’t delete, but only because they were so funny. There were almost no good pictures of him, but oh so many really good, bad pictures.
Which ones are your favorite?
Jeremy was using a little medicine cup this morning for his syrup so that he could dip his pancakes.
The bottom of the little cup has a stand up rim on it, and he was using it to cut holes in his pancakes – like a cookie cutter. Then he started talking about holes….he had holes in his eyes, and holes in his nose, and holes in his pancakes, and he was a whole Jeremy and he was cutting his whole pancake into little holes…..
This went on for a few minutes until Xandra – who was at the table making her lunch right beisde where Jeremy was sitting eating – pipes up and says, “…and you have a hole in your butt.”
That’s my classy little girl, for ya.
Thanks for pointing that out, and taking the conversation to a whole ‘nuther level.
Alrighty, so I have exactly 2.348 seconds before my little (large would be more accurate) Hoover starts complaining that I’m on the computer and wants to knock over the 1,079, 342, 457th block tower this morning.
I’m not sure exactly what’s up, but ‘Siah was up from 2-3:15am last night or this morning or however you want to call that…..like happy and in that half drugged/asleep state, but talking and singing and most definately AWAKE.
He finally went back to sleep, but it took me a little bit to settle back down, and I was DREADING this morning with everything in me.
It went pretty well though, and everyone was off to school on time and didn’t forget anything and there were no tears and no melt-downs, and as far as I’m concerned…that’s a very positive morning.
Yesterday, ‘Siah was up freaky early (like 615am….that’s freaky early in my estimation) and then went down for a 2.5 hour nap that started at 9am just after the kids eft for school and if you can do the math – ended at 11:30am, AND…….I had crawled back into bed and managed to (minus a few phone call interruptions) sleep the whole time as well. So, lets just say that yesterday was a good day, and after last night, I was really hoping for a re-run, but NOPE!
Little stinker fell asleep, but didn’t want to let me go, and then woke up at 10am. Stupid Expectations…they get me every time.
I had mom and dad and Chris out for dinner last night, and they stayed until the kids were in bed, so that was SO HELPFUL.
Everyone at J’s school is raving about how wonderful he is doing, and cynical me is wondering if he’s really doing that well, or if they are all just saying it so that we keep him on the Ritalin. Not that we are planning on taking him off it right now…we are still in the trying it out stage and have no intentions of mucking around with stuff until we give it all a good shot, BUT…..
….it’s still as messy and frustrating in my head, and as much as I could just ramble on and on about everything that’s flying hrough my head – I’m not going to subject you to that….I’ll keep it until I have some clearer, more consise things to say.
Regardless, J’s doing okay, but night times are rough and he seems to be more hyper when the meds wear off…..Is this normal? or is it just our perception? I dunno.
Siah is cruising the furniture and even the walls like a monkey and is clapping and waving hi and bye and he is just happy and darling and everything that we’ve been waiting for and hoping for the past long years.
Xani is her happy bubbly self….and we adore her. She is being so helpful and seems to really be “getting” responsibility and pitching in and we are so proud of her.
Angelica is getting so big, and honestly is struggling a bit. She is so upset that we ask her to help out or pitch in with housework…she doens’t like that she has to prove that she’s responsible. She just wants us to blindly trust her, and the problem with that is that she’ making some stupid, stupid choices, and tends to react when confronted with a situation or issue. It must be so hard. I don’t know what’s going on or why she’s acting like this, but we are talking and so that’s good. I wonder what of it is hormones, and what is preeteen stuff and what is….I dunno. She’s a great kid and we love her, but she’s making some hard choices and learning (in our minds) the hard way….but she and we’ll figure it all out and it’ll end up good.
Jon’s been away for the past 2 nights, and is coming home “sometime” today. That’ll be nice. I’ve missed him.
Well, I gotta go and dig ‘Siah outta the plants….he’s discovered dirt…..:rollseyes:….and that’s just so much fun!
Apparently, that’s how much dairy is too much.
I feel BRUTAL today.
I’m supposed to be trying to add some dairy into my diet to see how it affects Josiah (and myself). We are both on some naturopathic “stuff” to help us to deal with the different affects that it has on us. And apparently I’ve figured out how much is too much.
‘Siah has a tiny bit of a rash on his cheeks, and while it could be the starting of exczema, it could also be from teething and his fingers and slobber in and out of his mouth ALL FREAKING DAY. But….he has been dealing with what seems to be acid reflux, and has actually been barfing a little bit. All of that would indicate to me that it would be okay for me to injest a little bit of dairy if I came across it at a restaurant or even going to someone’s house for a meal or even if I wanted to cheat a little, but apparently 4 days of cheating with a half a piece of cheesecake, and then splitting a medium pizza with Jon , and then splitting another medium pizza with Jon because the first was just that good, and then my veryown piece of cheesecake…..apparently that it where the line is drawn….somewhere in all the middle of that.
And for me….I feel bloated, and people in the next city can hear my stomach as it grumbles its complaints to me feeding it that horrible, terrible, no good dairy….and I just feel sluggish and have a headache and feel like I’m in a brain fog, and not to mention that I’ve gained 5 pounds. Nice, eh? It was so not worth it.
So, I think that what I’m going to do is to just go back to taking it easy on the dairy in our own house and with the way that we normally eat. I feel SO MUCH BETTER off of it, and apparently, so does ‘Siah.
In Jeremy related news….
He had another good day. He was thrilled to bring home 4 stickers, AGAIN, and even more thrilled to bring home a friend. Yup! He actually brought home a friend from school, and they played so nicely together for about two hours, until the kid’s father came to pick him up. That is the first time that J has brought a kid home from school, and again….it could all be coincidence or not.
Now, after my whole…..no negative side effects blah, blah blah from yesterday….
We found his lunch from yesterday (almost the entire thing) in the front pouch of his backpack….so that’s not good, especially seeing as I found almost his entire lunch in his backpack again today….so appaerently lunch is not going so well.
We’re going to go in and talk to the principal tomorrow and we’ll mention that, and see what he says about it all; and see if he can help us out with it.
Jeremy seems to be eating well at home, and if lunch is the only meal affected, then Oh Well! He’s eaten an apple and a muffin and some popcorn since he came home, and we’re just about to have dinner so we’ll see. I still think he’s eating enough during the day, as a whole, just not “in school”.
Oh well! I’m sure it’ll all work out. Right?
Can’t you just see this continuing on until day 46, 389, 271 and you are all sick of hearing about it?
Nah, I can’t either, but seeing as it’s kinda what’s consuming a large part of our brain space at this exact moment….this is what you get to hear about.
Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers and best wishes and what ever else encouragement that you guys sent our way. It means so much to have you there cheering us on, especially on the hard days.
We got a call from the principal last night and apparently, yesterday was a FREAKING AMAZING day. He figures that it was a different child that showed up to school yesterday morning. Still cheerful and full of life, but not frantic, in a manic sort of way.
He sat through an assembly, people!?!?!
An entire assembly, a whole row away from the teacher (or any teacher, for that matter) and stayed still and focused and engaged the entire thing, and then at the end when the entertainer said that he wanted questions from kids who were sitting still and quiet with their hand raised and a smile on their face, apparently Jeremy sat exactly like that for about 4 minutes. It’s almost hard to believe that was my child that he was talking about.
I’m still all over the place with emotions and feelings and such. It’s hard to know that Jeremy is having his “Good” time at school, and not with us. I still don’t really have a good idea of how this is helping him or what his behavior is like or how it’s even really different.
We get about half an hour or so at home when we think the medicine has kicked in and then we get the tail end of it between 3-4pm before it’s completely worn off.
The RitalinSR slow releasing drug that lasts about 8 hours….so basically it’s just a morning dose and an afternoon dose but in only one pill. It wears off and then we get “normal” Jeremy for the afternoon and evening.
I feel guilty that we are using the Ritalin, and I feel guilty that if it’s working in his favor, then how come we waited so long. I feel happy that he might have good days at school and be a little easier to deal with, for the teachers, and I feel jealous that we don’t get to reap the benefits of him being on the drug. I feel guilty that I’m upset that I don’t get the benefit, and I hate that I’m admitting that my son is sometimes tough to handle. I hate that I have to deal with any of this at all. I hate that others often don’t “get” Jeremy. I hate that anyone has to “get” Jeremy in the first place. It’s all just a huge messy ball of feelings and emotions and questions and wonderings.
He had another good day at school today. It was a 4 sticker day. He has a chart and can get a total of 4 stickers per day, if he behaves appropriately in the AM1 (up until recess), AM2 (up until lunchtime), PM (the entire afternoon) and OTHER (PE or an Assembly or Library, or somthing like that).
So, this is Day 2 on Ritalin, and Day 2 of 4 stickers….I still am, not for certain, tying the two together as his week typically goes something like 4 stickers, and then 1 sticker and then 3, ad then 4 and then 2, followed by a week of 4, 4, 4, 1 and 3…..there is absolutely no rhyme or reason to his behavior pattern.
I told him that if he gets 4 stickers tomorrow and Friday that we’d go and get a Booster Juice on Friday, so we’ll see.
So far, we’ve not had any negative side effects, and I’m hoping it stays that way. He ate a HUGE breakfast, and all his lunch was gone when he brought his backpack home (he has to eat in the principal’s office at the moment because of a prior transgression). He’s come home from school and had a snack, and so I’m hoping that the “loss of appetite” side effect never materializes, and the other two common side effects are jittery-ness and a difficult time sleeping.
Well, he’s pretty much ALWAYS had a hard time sleeping, and so last night I didn’t even try to put him down until 9pm. We’ll try for a bit earlier tonight, but I wouldn’t say that his behaviour has been any different yesterday after school/evening and today after school so far – than it normally is.
So far, the positives seem to be outnumbering the negatives…..I don’t think there really have been any negatives so far…..except for the mental and emotional stress, but I was feeling that before in regards to him and so basically the stress has just been been changed to a different matter surrounding the same situation.
So, basically we’re doing okay?!?! I think? I hope?
This is such a head trip.
Have we done the right thing? Have we done the wrong thing? Is is going to be okay? Will there be negative side effects? Will this be the absolute best thing in the world with AMAZING results? Will the dose be too small? What will today be like at school? Should we have done this sooner? Should we have not done it at all?
So many questions, and for right now, there are no clear and comforting answers.
We picked up the prescrition of Ritalin for Jeremy last night, and even that set off a whole ton of questions and concerns for us. We had figured that we’d be picking up a bottle of 5mg pills and that we’d start off with one pill for a few days, and then re-evaluate if he needed a mid-day dose or if it needed to be upped to 10mg, and that we’d go from there.
The bottle we picked up had 20mg of the Slow Release formulation.
It was unexpected, and after the day that I’d had – it just about sent me over the edge.
It was such a bad day, and I’m not sure why. I felt so insecure, and every encounter with every person that I ran into just exacerbated that feeling of inadequacy and insecurity. it was like I was the stupidest, uninformed, person alive. I felt like a huge burden and an even bigger inconvenience, and I couldn’t seem to pull myself together enough to handle even the stupidest, most meaningless tasks.
I couldn’t call the Pharmacy to see if the pediatrician had called in the script for Jeremy. I couldn’t call the school to tell them that we were going to be picking Geli and Jer up 15 mintues early because they had a Chiropractic appt. I gave Geli my Chiro appt because I couldn’t handle going to another appt and letting the Dr down (he told me to lose 10lbs and to go to a cardio core boot camp). I dropped off a test of Jeremy’s at the Natuopath’s office, and after talking with the receptionist – left feeling stupider than dirt….over something that I have a fair amount of knowledge about.
It was just absolutely overwheling.
And then, to top it all off, I ate almost a whole bag of chips by myself after all the kids were down for the night….talk about stress eating. I haven’t been that down for a VERY LONG TIME.
I’m feeling a bit better today, but the desire to hide and not talk to anyone is still quite strong, and that leads me to believe that I’m still not doing all that great. It has honestly been so long since I felt like this, that the feeling is almost foreign to me.
I recognize that I used to feel like this ALL THE FREAKING TIME and I’m so thankful that I don’t feel like this anymore. I do think that this is just the stress of it all, and that I’ll be okay soon.
It’s very to hard to explain how I’m feeling because I don’t feel like I’m in a hole, or even that I’m close to “the HOLE” but it’s more like a cloud settled down around me, and I’m waiting for the fog to burn off.
Jon talked to the principal at Jeremy’s school, yesterday….he is probably our biggest advocate. I mean, the Learning Assistance Teacher is also a huge advocate of Jeremy’s, but the principal is just amazing. UTTERLY AMAZING!
He asked that we not mention to anyone that Jeremy is on the drug, and because he sees Jeremy everyday in his reading group and other times through out the day, he’ll be able to get a good feel for how this week goes, and then at the end of the week, he’s going to talk to Jer’s teacher and see if she’s noticed any change at all….as well as the LA guy.
I can’t say that there was anything life shattering in a scary or positive way this morning. He wasn’t a zombie, and he seemed like his happy, lovable self….Jon thinks that he was maybe a bit more focused….for example….
…..Jeremy decided to clean the TV Room because he didn’t want Josiah to get hurt by any of the stuff in there(video games and cords, etc.). Geli called him away in the middle of it to see something in the front room…he went looked and came right back to cleaning up the TV Room….rinse, lather, repeat…..it happened twice….that’s two opportunities for distraction, and he was able to stay focused. I think that he’s done that before, but it certainly is the exception, and not the norm…..
….so, are we seeing into things because we’re watching for them or is this for real….
I guess we’ll find out eventually, won’t we.
I’m really hoping that we don’t end up dealing with any of the funky side effects, and only get the good and positive effects. That’s not too much to hope or ask for, is it?
Have any of you dealt with any of this? Any advice or suggestions? Things to be watching for or looking out for? Positive feedback or otherwise?
So, you are more than welcome to come along for this wide roller coaster ride as we travel the Ritalin Highway.
I’m hoping the pit stops are few and far between.
This cracks me up and there are so many little interesting and funny things, and I’m not sure if that’s because I’m his mom or because it really is funny.
Jeremy got onto some weird kick this weekend with being responsible and totally helping out and acting “like a 12 year old”…that was his big phrase this weekend….He was trying to act like a 12 year old boy. He totally cleaned my TV room – it was spotless – down to the vacuuming and then he had to rearrange all the furniture to make it “new” looking.
But, he took this video and he talks to you like he knows you’re on the other side of the camera looking in and some of it is just so darn funny.
It’s long – like 4minutes and 45 seconds long and I’d loveto say go to 2 minutes and 27 seconds and listen then, but his “cuteness” is just spread out all the way along and if you have the 5 minutes to go and get a coffee you get a closer peek into Jeremy’s world and brain and well…..I’ve enjoyed it…a few times…
He has put the camera on a chair in the hall way down towards his bedroom and then he carries it around a bit as he goes to other rooms to do a few different things. Seriously, if you can spare the minutes – you’ll enjoy it….I think!
