Moving Forward The Morning After

So I posted last night…..

I was tired and emotional and probably if those two factors had not ganged up on me….I may have filtered myself a bit more or even just made less typos…..maybe….maybe not?!?

I don’t know that this morning brought any new clarity with it.

I woke up with a killer headache……….at 5:30am.

Yah, it’s been a long day already and it’s only noon-ish. Did not get back to sleep after that. BLERGH!!!!

On a side note….It’s gorgeous outside.

That is the view to my right….

and this is my view straight ahead…..

She’s not supposed to be on the couch….but I haven’t exactly kicked her off.

It’s the last day of school before the Christmas Break….and probably my last quiet (ish) day for the next two weeks.

So, I’m taking advantage of it. I’m sitting. The house is a mess, and I made Judah pancakes for lunch. He is currently trolling Netflix….I believe Ninjago is the show of choice at this exact moment.

I’m currently staring at my Christmas Tree trying to figure out what I’m thinking, but again with the 50 million thoughts going in 50 million directions.

I had a few people send me private messages of encouragement and those were so nice to hear.

I wonder if it’s about perspective.

I’m in the middle of it all. From my position, I look around me and I see children who are unique and amazing and challenging in their own fantastic ways. I see the screaming and the bickering and the squabbling and the challenges to get them to do their chores and take care of their responsibilities. I see their shortcomings and I want to work with them to strengthen those areas while at the same time encouraging them in their strengths. I see these amazing individuals with really great hearts even in spite of all the challenges that we’ve faced individually and as a family……. But it’s a constant effort to keep these 5 bodies moving in a forward direction.

We were so isolated over the “cancer years” and before then….doing almost anything with Jeremy required HERCULEAN effort and sometimes it was easier to just not do anything. Again…..very isolating.

It is hard when you’ve had it said to your face that people can’t be friends with you because your child is too difficult. Or to hear from others that you shouldn’t subject your children to people because they are too much effort to have around and be around.

Just typing both of those down….I realize how brutal those two comments are. I mean, I know how brutal they are….I’ve lived though both of those said directly to my face and more. But I can’t imagine saying those things to someone…..EVER!!! I love children. I especially love the challenging kids. The ones that make you think and keep you on your toes. The extremely smart kids that say the most incredible things but require a little more attention and focus……I love the regular kind of kids too, but somehow, the ones that people seem annoyed with or bothered by….the ones that talk and talk and talk and talk and never shut up……I LOVE those kids. I want to go out of my way to make sure that they feel special and included and NEVER EVER a bother or an inconvenience….

I get it. I know how much effort it is. I live it…..EVERY. SINGLE. DAY! Jeremy has not been the easiest child. He requires some effort. Well, he requires a lot amount of effort. So does Josiah in a different way and Judah….well, he’s a 3 year old. What 3 year old doesn’t require some attention and effort. My boys require effort……I know this. I guess, it would just feel really good to feel like others “want” to be with my kids. Do you know what I mean? I think that in spite of their particular challenges or maybe even as a result of them….that my kids……all 5 of them are pretty amazing. I’d love to feel like others felt that too and wanted to spend time with them….not cause they HAD to, but because they WANTED to.

So, to those who have said something…..THANK YOU. Really! I appreciate it more than you may ever know.

I’m not sharing this in the hopes that people will “do” something. I am just trying to unravel some of this mess inside myself. Part of that is dealing with the hurts and wounds that I have or have gotten.

I realize that I’ve been hurt and I definitely have some sore, open wounds when it comes to my kids and how they are perceived and received.

And this OBVIOUSLY colors how I hear people comment on my kids.

So the school wanting to help Siah….turns into….HE’S A PROBLEM…..which I can’t even fathom….cause he’s freaking sweet kid who can read and write and wants to please…….and then I go…WHAT….WHAT do I even do with that….

How could be he a problem…..which, when it comes down to it….that is not even the issue at all.

He is a great kid….who has some quirks and may require “some individualized strategies” to help him succeed and how do we (parents & school) as a collective team help him to achieve success?

So we met, and talked through some things and I think I have a better perspective. I think we are more on the same page than I “felt”.

Which is great.

Not that the whole things doesn’t still stress me out….but the Principal….she’s an amazing lady, encouraged me to trust them and to just “plug my nose and JUMP!”

I believe this school and these people are amazing people…..I believe they truly care about Josiah. I really do believe that they want the best for him. That they want him to succeed. And so…..I jump.

I’m scared.
I’m nervous.
I’m sure I’ll need reassurance again.

But…..

I want to trust.
I want to believe.
I want to be in “community.”

and so….

I carry on…

one step after the other…..hopefully in a forward direction. 🙂

Wrap Up – FINALLY!

I’m finally getting to the last day of our Wish Trip and while I think that no one really cares about our flight home, there were enough things that I want to make note of and remember that even though it was over a month ago, I’m going to go ahead and wrap it all up.

We had to have our luggage out in the hallway on the Friday night by 10pm or else we had to carry it with us and let me tell you, luggage for 7 people….you don’t really want to be carrying that around especially when you have two adults, one weak teenager, one mostly helpful teenager, a curious child with ADHD, a useless but fun loving 4 year old and a 30lb baby! It’s enough work just to get ourselves from point A to point B without thinking about and wrestling luggage as well.

The weather was bad the whole night and the boat shifted and pitched and rocked. While it was the coolest feeling, I was also awake to feel it and the awake part of that equation…not so cool!

On Saturday morning, we had to be down in the restaurant for breakfast by 6:45am. We made it there by 6:50am and so that’s a win in my books!

IMG_2985

We were TIRED! See the CRANKY baby! Cranky babies are fun to travel with, NOT!

IMG_2988

Jeremy was pretty sad that the cruise was over and he whined and moped his way through breakfast.

After breakfast, we were scheduled to disembark at 8am and so we lined up and eventually got off the boat. We went through the cruise security, picked up our luggage and got onto the bus to head back to the airport. We got to the Airport around 10:30ish, needed to re-pack a few things and then attempted to check in for our flight.

Unfortunately, we were not allowed to check in until 4 hours prior to our flight and so we needed to waste some time. Yup, our flight wasn’t leaving until later that afternoon and WHEE!!!!!! we were hanging out in the Orlando Airport OH THE JOY!

IMG_2992

It had been such a good trip and at the same time we were so ready to go home.

IMG_2993

We walked around a bit, we hunted down some gluten free food, we looked through the stores, we walked some more….and finally the time was close enough that we could head down to our gate.

I had really been hoping that Judah would stay awake until we got on the plane and then sleep the whole first plane trip but it didn’t work out that way.

IMG_2994

Siah was done by about this point and fortunately, the people that were all around us had also been on the cruise, with children, and completely understood Siah’s limp frog routine on the floor….fortunately it was a fairly quiet performance and so we just left him to have at it.

IMG_2996

We waited until everyone else had boarded before we got on…I figured it would help (everyone) if we weren’t on the plane for an extra half an hour.

IMG_3001

Judah woke up about half an hour after the plane took off but Siah had HAD it and he slept HARD for most of the flight from Orlando to Denver.

IMG_3007

We had a two hour layover in Denver and seeing as Jon used to work in the Denver Airport, we went to a little taco stand that he knew of….the food was very yummy and between eating and looking for souvenirs, the time flew by fairly quickly. Pretty soon we were waiting at our gate for the flight to Vancouver…

IMG_3017

The flight was just a short flight and there was no movie planned but when the flight attendants heard that Angelica had been on a Wish Trip, they wanted to make this flight home special for her. They showed her the movie listing and got her to choose a movie as the in-flight movie. That was pretty fun. Towards the end of the flight one of the attendants came up and asked if Geli and the kids would like to see the cockpit after the flight landed. Jeremy and Geli were really excited about that and so when we landed and everyone else had left the plane, the pilot brought Jeremy and Angelica into the cockpit…

DSC_0175

It was a pretty neat experience…

DSC_0177

And a great way to end the trip.

Jon’s parents met us at the airport and drove us and all our luggage home.

We got home, dumped everything inside the front door, threw pajamas on everyone and jumped into bed, so thankful to be sleeping in our own beds.

It was an amazing trip and we were so thankful to have been blessed by the Children’s Wish Foundation. This is and was truly the experience of a life time.

Ambleside

Last Tuesday we woke up and it was just another day.

This summer has been a bit of a bummer. It has not gone exactly how we had planned or expected and while nothing terrible has happened, it’s not been as relaxing as I’d hoped!

First Beach Experience?

Around 9:30am, I decided that if the kids and I could get the house cleaned and packed and ready to go by 11:30am – that we’d head out to the beach. At this point, I still wasn’t sure which beach I would head to as they are all about an hour away from us, but I was determined that we were not going to just sit at home and do nothing for one more day.

The kids were pretty excited and we managed to get everything ready and done just after 11:30am and so off we went.

Arrival

As I pulled out of the driveway, I was still unsure about where we should go…I was contemplating 3 different beaches…White Rock, Spanish Banks and Ambleside.

In the end, Ambleside in West Vancouver won out mostly because I could park and be on the sand in about 20 steps and with 5 kids in tow and all our gear – the close proximity to the beach, the parking spot and the bathroom were key factors in my decision.

Toes

Traffic was NON-EXISTANT and we made it there in just under and hour. The weather was not AMAZING, but neither did it suck. It was one of those days, where it was cloudy, but there was still the possibility of getting a burn if you didn’t take the right precautions.

As soon as we hit the sand, the boys were gone, headed straight for the water. Jeremy stopped long enough to point out a good spot that he figured I should put the blankets down on and I agreed, it was a pretty good spot.

In the Water

We laid the blankets out and put the baby on them and he instantly crawled the edge of the blanket and picked up handfuls of sand and hucked them ALL OVER THE BLANKETS! At that point, I moved him over into the middle of one of the blankets and then took possession of that blanket. The girls shook all the sand off the other blanket and ATTEMPTED to keep it sand-free…….between the baby and the 3 year, it was a losing battle. I didn’t even try to stop him from loading up my blanket and to be honest, I just didn’t care.

The kids played and played and played and played.

Headed to the Water

The weather was perfect….warm enough that you could just wear a tank top, but cool and cloudy enough to keep just about everyone else from coming to the beach.

The kids tried to go in the water and the girls went in past their waists…..crazy kids. Josiah went in but decided that he didn’t want to go in, but then fell in and so that was that.

He came up and got a towel from me but from that point on, he was a sandy mess….it was…..AWESOME! sort of….

The kids were playing so nicely together and except for the occasional squabble between Jeremy and Josiah, it was the best couple of hours that we’ve had in a while.

Working Together

I was able to just sit and then every once in a while retrieve Judah and bring him back to the blanket….and then he’d start crawling back towards the water again stopping every now and then to pick up some random object and put it in his mouth.

The kids splashed in the water, made a sand wall, dug a hole, buried Jeremy, and played on the playground. We ate lunch and had snacks and went to the bathroom and the only mildly upsetting time was when we lost Josiah for about 90 seconds. He had come back with me (from the bathroom) and was right behind me. I guess, when we walked over the cement wall and onto the beach, he stayed on the wall and walked back along it towards the bathroom. I made it back to the blanket (which was about 10 feet away) and sat down. Talk to the girls about how the baby was when I was gone, turned around and Siah was gone…..Xani and I ran around like chickens with our heads cut off and fortunately, the lady next to us spotted him on the wall back by the bathrooms…..I had a short little chat with him and after that, he stayed pretty close.

In the Hole

The biggest downside to the day was when Jeremy decided to not feel well about an hour before we had planned to come home. He was complaining of a headache and an upset tummy and stopped playing, wrapped his head in a towel and lay down on the blanket. Then he wanted to go and sit in the van and was moaning loudly about needing to barf.

Downtime

After that, We packed up pretty quickly and headed home….unfortunately, the traffic was just starting and we had about an hour and a half drive from West Vancouver back to Langley. FORTUNATELY, Jeremy slept the whole way home and that seemed to help a little. He never did end up barfing (Thank God!) and by the next day he was 100%, so who knows what his issue was????

Traffic Going Home

It was an awesome day and we will definitely be headed back there before the summer is over.

If you’re interested, you can see all of my photos from our Ambleside Adventure by clicking here!

Happy Birthday, Xandra!

It’s your day today, sweet girl.

Teenager

You are officially 13 years old today. I find it hard to believe that the years manage to fly by so fast and yet….I remember the day your were born…..I remember being told to go to the hospital by my Dr and then being told to go home because they were crazy busy…..so I went home to sleep for a couple of hours and then……then you were here!

You were such a cute little pixie, with such white blonde hair. I had no idea who you were or what you’d grow up to be but I was so excited to get the opportunity to know you and love you.

And love you, I do!

You are so very wonderful! You are such an amazing daughter. You are a loyal friend. You love so intensely. You feel so passionately. You are such an incredible person.

This has been such a tough year for all of us and you ave not walked away from this year without having been touched by cancer and it’s side effects. There are so many listed side effects of the cancer treatment, but you don’t see a lot written about the effects experienced by the family. In your intensely passionate way, you have felt so many of those effects in such a deep way. We’ve made it through a whole entire year.

Your entire 12th year was consumed with cancer and it’s treatment…..and yet….you were such a light in a dark time. It’s not always been easy but we did it.

Grade 7 Grad

Grade 7 Grad Dress – made by Nana C.

You have been a HUGE help to me through out this last year. You have helped out with the boys and with the housework and with meals…..you have just helped out so much! I am so thankful for your loving, kind, generous, giving spirit.

I believe that you’re thirteenth year is going to be the best one yet.

You’re headed into High School and I’m so excited for you. Just keep being yourself. You are so unique and as long as you stay true to yourself, and just keep being the amazingly friendly person that you are, you’ll do okay!

I’m so proud of you, my sweet Xandra.

So Pretty

Happy Birthday, my love!

Love,
Your Momma

Tuesday Morning Update

Well, we are still here. Angelica’s counts have been coming up VERY slowly. The good folks at BC Children’s want to make sure that when they send Angelica home, she won’t end up getting sick and having to come right back… They want her immune system to be strong enough.

Its hard though, because Angelica is not sick. She is completely healthy. The concern is not about her current health, but her immune system strength. It feels so frustrating to be sitting in the BC Children’s Hotel and just hanging out, knowing that Patti could really use a lot of help at home, and not being able to go home and help.

Alexandra turns 13 in two days and has a big party scheduled for tomorrow. We should all be at home today and helping to plan the party, but instead we are waiting to hear from the doctors to find out if they are going to “risk” sending her home.

So please pray that we get to go home, that Patti doesn’t stress too much about the party, and that Alexandra’s day turns out fantastic tomorrow.

Jon

No Clue What We Were Up Against

Sometimes it’s easy to post and sometimes it’s really difficult.

I’ve been finding it quite difficult recently. There are things I want to say, thoughts that I want to share and yet when I go to unravel the mess inside my brain….it’s more difficult than I thought it would be.

DSC_0046

Xandra just got back from 3 days away at Camp Jubilee as part of her Grade Seven Grad Trip.

She was so excited to go and while I was thrilled for her, there was a part of me that felt unsettled and uneasy.

She spent about 3 days before the trip packing and preparing and it reminded me so much of last year when we were doing the exact same thing for Geli.

The difference was that Angelica was not feeling one hundred percent.

Obviously, there is a good reason for that now, but back then, we didn’t know. We had no clue what we were up against. I was so pregnant and so looking forward to having Judah. Geli’s complaints of feeling tired were easily explained away by the fact that she was a teenager, and the rash that she had on her legs was probably from some reaction to soap or most likely a virus.

We sent her off to the Camp and when she got home…she was obviously quite ill. Sick enough (and I was pregnant enough) that a trip to the Dr. was very important. I am so thankful that we didn’t wait longer. I’m not one to take my kids to the Dr for every cough or sore throat and there is a good chance that were I not going to have a baby any day and the fact that if it might be Strep Throat….I didn’t want to deal with a highly contagious illness with a newborn in the house…..that we would have waited even longer to take her in. I don’t even let myself think about how much worse she would have/could have gotten had we not gone in to see our family Dr and gotten blood work.

We had no clue what we were up against.

Xandra made it off to the camping trip and I have spent the last few days alternating between worrying and telling myself not to worry. Xandra is well. Xandra is healthy. Xandra is amazing! Yes, this has been a tough year on her (as it’s been on all of us) but we are making our way through this….through the good times and the bad times. We will survive. We will overcome this.

She came home today and we drove to the school to pick her up. As we drove up to the front of the school, every muscle in my body was tense and I kept looking…searching for some sign that she might not be feeling well. I waited until she opened the van door, praying that I wouldn’t hear the scratchy voice of a cough or the nasal voice of a stuffed nose……and at the same time, I’d already prepped myself that she’d been in close contact with a whole bunch of other kids, who had ingested a ton of crap food with very little sleep…..an illness would not be out of the ordinary.

Her eyes looked bright and cheerful. Her skin was sun kissed and bight. She had a skip in her step and a song in her voice as she greeted us and the breath that I’d been holding so very tight let out…….a little.

It’s a hard thing to deal with; having your child be diagnosed with a life threatening illness and then trying to carry on with life. It s not an easy thing and too many times I’ve had nightmares of something horrible happening my other children. Too many times I’ve worried or stressed about things that have never come to pass.

DSC_0083

So much of this journey is “too much”…..I know that I have a lot to “heal” from. There are times where I’ve felt traumatized by what has happened and yet I carry on. I must! But the effects of what we’ve been though have left their mark and I’m not yet in a position of strength.

I will be. Every day, I grow stronger and some days I feel like I’ve healed….and then something like these past few days happens and I see that I’m not quite there yet.

It will come. I believe. It must!

Verbal Diarrhea

I’m not sure what the deal is, but today…….I’M TIRED!

I would give just about anything to be able to crawl back in bed right now, but that’s not an option and so instead of feeling sorry for myself – I’ve got to somehow give myself a shake and carry on with my day.

There is so much that I really should be doing and none of it that I really want to do….how’s that for incentive for ya?

IMG_1484

Jon and Judah up at Harrison Hot Springs! Love his hair!

Geli had her second dose of Chemo for this round this past Friday and she seemed to handle it a bit better than the week before. It could have something to do with how we’ve managed the meds/nausea, but she felt less sick that the previous week. This is the first “off of the steroid” week and while she didn’t feel as nauseated, she was in quite a bit of pain.

I mentioned before that when she is coming off of the steroid, that her joints can end up hurting quite badly. She didn’t feel bad enough to want to take the codeine or morphine but the constant pain is wearing…..She felt that the pain level reached a 4 out of ten, on the pain scale level. Which I think is enough to have taken something, but she didn’t want to, and so she didn’t.

Fortunately, the pain from her joints has mostly subsided and aside from the random wave of nausea and the odd headache, she is doing quite well. She was at school part of yesterday and has gone again today. Our Doctor figured that she may be able to attend quite a bit of this month, which is a nice bonus as we figured that her counts would be quite low for most of this round….but hey, we’ll take the higher counts as it means more protection from her immune system – YAH for that!

I’m extremely frustrated with Judah….he is the WORST day time napper that I’ve ever had. He might go down for al of 10 minutes and then he’ll wake up crying and screaming. I know that he’s not ready to wake up and yet…..he doesn’t want to settle again and ARGH…..A cranky, crying, overtired baby is not fun!

Neither is a cranky, crying, overtired mom…..

We have a meeting tomorrow at Jeremy’s school to talk about him, and really – there is a lot to that part of the story and I don’t have the time or the energy to get into it….and so, I’ll just say that we are still moving forward with Jeremy and that it’s a tough journey at times, but man, if he isn’t just a lovely little boy with such a gentle spirit. I sure love him!

For the most part, Xandra is doing AMAZINGLY WELL. We took her to the pediatrician about a month ago, I think? and he is treating her for ADD/ADHD and the difference in her is UNBELIEVABLE! She is looking and acting and producing work a lot more like the Xandra from years gone by…….It’s frustrating that this all came about at the same time as Geli’s diagnosis and treatment and I wish that we’d been more on top of things because I believe she went too far down a road that she never needed to go on. We could have caught things sooner. I’m not sure if I mentioned this before, but ADDD presents itself differently in girls than in boys. Typically, girls are diagnosed around 12 years of age when organization is a bit more complicated (as in when Grade 7 teachers start to train the kids to be able to handle the High School organization structure). For us, we were not sure if Xani was just stressed about the Cancer stuff or the family stuff or school stuff or how much of all of the different things played into her stress levels, but to give her some medicine so that at the very least, she can organize and structure her life better……it has made a HUGE difference. Xandra is a very bright little girl and has always done extremely well in school. This year, she has not shown even a part of how capable and intelligent she is and we just wrote it off to the chaos and stress (which I’m sure are contributors) but in the past couple of weeks since putting her on the meds…..her marks have come up drastically and she is better able to plan out her work load….it’s made a drastic difference in both her schoolwork AND in her stress levels. And we are SO thrilled that she is doing better.

The Teen Oncology Group is having another function tomorrow night and they are probably going to Theater Sports. So, Jon and I (and Judah) are headed into town for Wednesday evening. I’m not sure what Jon and I are going to do……any suggestions? We are looking at being there probably around 5pm and having to pick Angelica up around 8:00pm.

If you are local or know Vancouver, what is your favorite thing to do?

15 out of 56

Well, we are 15 days (2+ weeks) into Delayed Intensification 2 which is 56 days long (8 weeks). This is the second to last stage before Maintenance. So far, Geli has had a Lumbar Puncture, one dose of Intrathecal Methotrexate (into her spinal fluid), one dose of Peg L-asparaginase divided into two shots (one in each thigh). She has had two doses of Vincristine and 2 doses of Methotrexate (both of those into her port in her chest).

ColoringShe has been doing pretty well. There have been some down times, some barfy feeling moments, and a lot of great moments. Some times the chemo makes food and water taste “off” and that sucks. Sometimes, it’s difficult to sleep and yet regardless of how much sleep Geli does get, she feels overly tired most of the time.

Her body is working overtime to heal and process the poison injected into it and she’s fighting so hard and most definitely winning this race.

Geli has been at school all last week, except for Thursday when she had to go in for her last chemo dose. She has no chemo this week and we are planning for another great week at school.

Sweet BoyAs her parents, we are thrilled to see her attending school, hanging out with her friends, just being as normal as is possible in this crazy situation.

She is working hard on her grade 8 school work and while she’s not done as much work as is required from her school mates, she’s done really well on keeping up to date with the essential assignments that her teachers have given to her.

Angelica and a friend scored a perfect mark on an oral presentation that they have been working on over the past month or so. That was definitely a bright spot over this last week.

We’ve been out walking most days and the exercise and fresh air are wonderful. You don’t realize how much you take your health for granted until you spend a huge portion of a year not feeling well and laying on a couch and then you realize that even a simple walk requires almost more effort than you have to give. BUT….summer’s coming and swimming is important Siah & Gelienough that we are trying to build up strength so that we will be able to swim without needing a life jacket or having to rest after 5 mins.

We are really, REALLY looking forward to summer. Angelica will be on Maintenance and we will be defining a new normal and this summer will be a most welcome break from this past year. I think that we are all looking forward to a bit of a relaxing summer.

I’ve been trying desperately to stay on top of the house and have been running at warp speed from morning till night and unfortunately most of the night too (thank you very much children). I’ve had almost no down time and I’m desperate for summer with no homework, a bit more of a relaxed schedule, once a month visits into the hospital, no deadlines……I can’t wait.

Snow DayWe have managed to turn our house up side down and I think its a good thing, BUT…..it’s not without it’s challenges. We did move our bedroom down to the basement along with the two little boys. Geli and Xani are up in what was the master bedroom. Jeremy is still is his room and we’ve moved the “TV/Rec Room” up to the big room that used to be Siah’s. I will try to get pictures soon, but so far this particular room arrangement is working well.

Xani is still struggling pretty hard and it’s difficult to watch her struggle and hurt.

Jeremy is rocking his Lego Root Camp and just being Jeremy. Recently, we tweaked the meds that he’s taking and it’s made a great difference.

ColoringJosiah is 3 years old and while the whiny voice and testing of behavior is not the most fun….he’s doing really well. I believe that he’s settled greatly from the initial chaos and while there are still things that we can and will work on with him….he’s doing SO much better. We’ve been trying to color a bit and he’s loves to spend one on one time with anyone. He stresses a bit about not knowing “how” to color and wants to have one of us color “with” him by putting our hand over his, but we keep practicing and he’s getting a bit more confident that he “can” color all by himself.

Judah is getting so big and I can hardly believe that 8 months have past us by. While I’m still not eating wheat (he seemed to have some gluten issues), soy or dairy….the intestinal issues that Judah was dealing with seem to have settled and he is doing much better. I have never really had a baby who has eating issues and yet, Judah is giving me a run for my money.

He will eat rice puffs or rice cakes or potato puffs any time any where, but try to give him some thing that might actually have taste or nutritional value in it and he clamps his lips and crosses his arms in front of his face and uses his arms in a windshield wiping motion to knock the spoon out of your hand.
Hello
I’ve tried to see if he will feed himself and it’s very hit and miss and so I’m not stressing about it too much because I don’t want to “create” a HUGE issue. He’ll eat when he eats and seriously…..it’s not like he’s wasting away, eh? He’s quite the chunk!

He has the sweetest personality and is so happy and squish-able and lovable and we are just so thrilled he is ours. (I just wish he’d sleep a little more consistently – he can….it’s just very hit and miss and I think that more sleep would make this whole situation just a little easier to handle.)

All said, we are doing okay! I wouldn’t say that things are the MOST AMAZING EVER, but we are surviving. One day at a time, we are making it through this…….A lot of that is due to you and your prayers, encouragement, love and support……we are so thankful to you all.

Oh Man….

well, life just keeps on flying by and I keep thinking I should post something and then, I have no energy to do so….

In bullet points:

– Geli started Chemo on Monday
– She got chemo shots into her thighs on Tuesday
– She went back to school on Wednesday (hopefully for a good portion of the next month)
– Jeremy is LOVING the newest Robot Camp
– Jeremy will do ANYTHING for a Lego mini fig (He cleaned the kitchen spotless is less than 15 mins and that is basically a Christmas Miracle)
– Xandra caught up on ALL her homework (because I bought the latest Maximum Ride Series Book and wouldn’t let her read it until everything was up to date)
– Geli is ALMOST caught up on her homework but she was really, REALLY behind.
– Geli is having a hard time adjusting to a “normal schedule” (She’s finding it hard to get to sleep at night and as a result is overly tired in the morning making mornings a bit tougher than they should be)
– I saw the psychologist at BCCH yesterday and cried too much (now I’m just trying to process everything and trying to figure out what I’m going to do moving forward)
– We are contemplating our living arrangements and trying to figure out is there is a better room allocation that would work for us.
– Jon’s scheduled appointment to give blood is tomorrow morning.
Megamind comes out on DVD today and we are planning to watch it tonight as a family.
– Baby turned 8 months old yesterday and his cousins came to play and I have a bazillion photos to plow through today.
– I love my sisters. Am thinking of them lots today. They are AMAZING!
– I am having too many “I should be doing…..” thoughts and it’s wrecking my life….I need to think through and just “DO” and not get so caught up in what I should be doing. It’s harder to do than it might seem.
– About the previously mentioned room allocation….would you consider turning the basement into the “master bedroom”? Why or why not? Any thought?
-And with that I’m out….I’ve got a mountain (5 large loads) of laundry that I need to fold. Ick!

Here and There (continued)

Well, I managed to update once yesterday and then it was time for the kids to come home from school and things just went downhill from there.

I forgot to give Jeremy his medicine yesterday and I can’t fathom why his teacher didn’t have him call home. If his behaviour after school was consistent with his behaviour during the day…..all I can say is, “WOW!”

2:59pm Xandra came home from school. My dad dropped her off but Jeremy stayed behind for “Robotics Camp”. Judah was SO excited to see her. He is always so glad to see the kids when they come home.

2:59pm

3:03pm We took this picture to send to Jon, just for Xandra to say, “I love you, Dad!”

3:03pm

3:45pm I find it so hard to believe that we generate THIS MUCH GARBAGE…..I sweep on average, 2-3 times a day and always manage to sweep up a decent mess. Man! Makes we feel like we’re pigs or something……

3:45pm

3:47pm Xandra worked on her homework! She is trying to catch up on a bunch of stuff that she fell behind on over Christmas and in January. She has one more project to hand in and then she’s done…..and then we’ll all breathe a sigh of relief. I’m sick of ragging on her to do her homework!

3:47pm

4:08pm I left Xandra and the computer to babysit and ran up to the school to pick Jeremy up from Robot Camp…..Josiah has watched more movies in the past 7 months than he has in his entire life. At this point, I’m just trying to survive….

4:08pm

4:12pm I had exactly 2 minutes of complete silence before I went in to pick up Jeremy!

4:12pm

4:16pm My Sweet Boy – He LOVES the Robotics Camp and we are so glad that he has found a hobby that he excels at.

4:16pm

4:24pm I managed to throw through a couple of loads of laundry today. Didn’t get them put away, but washed, dried and folded is at least 3/4 of the way through the process…

4:24pm

4:27pm On the other side of the world……here is the wall that is directly across from Geli’s bed…It’s all of us who can’t be with her….cheering her on, if only in picture! You’re never alone, Geli! Never alone!

4:27pm

4:28pm An amazing guy we know dropped off this mini fridge so that Jon and Geli could put decent food in it. The main fridge in the kitchen is always crowded and overflowing and so this is a HUGE blessing! Thanks, Reg! You Rock!

4:28pm

4:48pm Jon sent this picture through of Geli’s room all decorated for Valentines Day! I believe that she and her cousins made these???? Pretty, eh?

4:48pm

5:14pm What is it with 5 o’clock, anyway??? This was the start of many, MANY meltdowns in our family last night.

5:14pm

5:18pm Meanwhile, Jon and geli decided to go for a walk. They went to the Safeway just down the block from BC Children’s Hospital and also to the Dollar Store where they found this sweet pink hat with flames and the name “Angel” on it. They also picked up some socks! You never seen to have enough of something when you are at the hospital…sometimes its underwear, sometimes socks or shirts….something always gets missed in the packing. Unfortunately, we live too far away to just pop over to drop something off and usually they have to determine whether they can wait until we come in next or just go ahead and pick something up.

5:18pm

5:31pm We had soup for dinner, AGAIN! I’m trying to figure out how I can convince the kids to have it one more night. Maybe we’ll do cereal to shake things up a little. We’re living large over here, I tell ya….LIVING LARGE!

5:31pm

5:48pm While we finished up dinner, Jon and Geli walked “home” in the beautiful Vancouver dusk.

5:48pm

6:05pm We had some ice cream for dessert. These are little gluten free Oatmeal cookies with Chocolate Coconut Ice Cream in the middle for a delicious Ice Cream Sandwich!

6:05pm

6:15pm And I’m counting down the minutes until I can put the kids to bed. Don’t want it to be too early because then they get up too early and so I need something to waste some time…..

6:15pm

6:43pm A bath usually takes up a good chunk of time and it’s hard to be miserable when you’re in the bath.

6:43pm

6:44pm Siah’s faces are priceless!

6:44pm

6:56pm Jon and Geli made spaghetti dinner and said it was delicious…they even had seconds!

6:56pm

At this point, I was trying to get boys into bed and things were a little intense. By 8 o’clock, Siah was asleep, Jeremy had woken up Judah, Judah was crying, Jeremy was crying and then I started crying. Between Judah feeling sick with this plague that has swept through our family and cutting teeth, I’ve had less then 4 hours of sleep a night for the last week and those 4 hours……have been in less than 1 hour chunks. Apparently, I can sort of hold myself together for a week with next to no sleep and then…….and then I cannot hold myself together any more.

The house was a complete mess, the cleaners were coming the next day and nothing was picked up for them, the baby was still awake, Jeremy was crying himself to sleep and I was crying and messaging with Jon on my phone.

8:13pm It was a pretty sad moment. I sat on the edge of my bed and rocked and rocked and rocked this little one while messaging with Jon and my momma.

8:13pm

8:27pm And then he slept and then I crawled into bed and began what was to be another LOOOOOOONNGGGG night!

8:27pm

I have an appointment tomorrow morning with our family doctor to get Judah checked out. Xandra, Josiah, and my Momma are starting to do better after a week of whatever this plague is and I’m pretty sure that Judah will be okay as well, but he is wheezing quite a bit and while that’s probably just because his airways are so much smaller, I want to have him checked out before the weekend.