Quitting, Giving Up or Making Choices

So, I have a question for you today.

If your child signed up for a week long day camp and after one day decided that he or she really didn’t want to go back, would you make them?

Jeremy went to the first day of a day camp and after the chaos of day one was finished….he came home and said that he didn’t want to go back. It was too loud and too busy and there was too much of “everything”. He even complained about there being too much sugar in the snacks.

I actually wondered if he was sick!

I talked to him about going back and explained that he needed to make a decision and that he couldn’t just flip flop and go one day and not go the next, but that he needed to make a choice. It would be a fun week at the camp and that if he decided to not go then he couldn’t just go when he heard his sister’s talking about how much fun they were having.

He thought about it for a while and then decided to not go.

I know that I could have forced him to go. I could have manipulated him into thinking that it would be so much fun and talking him into wanting to go, but I let him make the choice. Honestly, I believe that he made a very good choice.

It is a loud noisy situation and he is an extremely sensitive kid and doesn’t do well in chaos. He can feed off the nervous energy and end up making choices that get him into trouble. As much as I would have liked him to go and he could have had fun and made some good memories – it’s possible that he could have gotten into trouble and had a horrible time.

I remember feeling like if I started something that I “HAD” to finish it or else I was quitting or giving up. I don’t want to teach my kids that its okay to just quit everything that might be hard or difficult or that it’s okay to just give up when something is awkward or uncomfortable, BUT….I do want my kids to know that they have choices.

I want them to grow up knowing who they are and how to make good choices that affect them positively. I want them to make choices and consider the consequences. I want them to know that if they make a choice (or find themselves in a situation) and it’s not a good one for them – that they can make another choice that will positively affect them or help them.

Would you consider this quitting or giving up or making choices and what would have you done?

Stolen Moments

I’ve got the dinner cooking and I have about 10 minutes until the potatoes are finished….so I’m popping on for a quick hello.

Today was SIah’s 2nd Birthday and we’ve not really done too much in the way of celebrating.

We’re still trying to unpack and so I’m thinking that we might just put off celebrating until September as things should be more settled then and really he’s 2….he won’t know the difference, will he?

We had to go into work today and I’m counting down the days until the kids go back to school. It’s insane to try and take them into the office with us, but it’s a necessary evil.

As of today I have 5 weeks until they go back to school and only one more office day with the 4 of them tagging along.

Even with the crazy chaos – today was a fabulous day. We are taking vacation the last two weeks on August and eve though we’re not entirely sure of our plans – I don’t have to work and so everything for the Fall Kick off has to be planned now….and today…..TODAY…I managed to plan most of the fall or at least the basic framework for the fall.

The load that I’ve been carrying has had about 85% of it drop off just with the schedule kinda, somewhat, sorta laid out.

PHEW! I feel about 25 pounds lighter….not physically, but mentally and emotionally….and this is a good thing….a VERY GOOD THING!

Just pretend that I’m not abusing the period, ‘mkay?!?

Well, I’m off the check out the dinner and to feed the kidlings and then send the older ones for a ride and to put the younger ones to bed. Then to relax….Oh I’m so looking forward to the relaxing part of this evening…..I can’t wait.

Hot and Puffy

Today was a much cooler day, but it was still warm. When I look at the thermostat in my house and it reads 28 degrees or even higher at 30 something… that’s too hot….for inside……

We’ve still been trying to plow onward and empty more and more boxes and trying to put away more and more stuff and to bag up and throw or give away anything that doesn’t actually have a “spot” to fit into.

So far we’re getting there. It’s slow going, but we’re getting there.

The stairs in my house are slowly killing me. I’m not used to it and it’s annoying to have to run from the top to the bottom only to find out that your forgot to bring something with you and it……just. happens. to. be. onthefreakingtopfloor.

So you pound up the stairs again and then rinse, lather, repeat a hundred times a day.

If I were actually losing some weight as a result of this, I’d not be complaining, but nope. No such luck on that point.

If anything, I’ve gained some weight and judging by the size of my feet tonight…I’ve been on them WAY TOO MUCH TODAY.

They are huge and puffy and they hurt like crazy…

But we are getting there.

It’s my baby’s second birthday tomorrow.

How the crap did that happen?

Where did the last two years go and where did this little boy come from?

We are going to be celebrating his birthday in September. The weather will still be nice enough and hopefully I’ll have my house in a little bit more order…..Am I dreaming on that one?

Well, The baby is being bathed and I gotta do what I can to tidy up the kitchen before Jon is done with him……lets hope I haven’t used up all my time.

Reality… in pictures.

So! Yes, things have been quiet around these parts because our lives have been INSANELY busy in all other areas.

I’ve had a few people asking for pics of the new place and today I ran around….mess, painting swatches, and all…..and snapped a bunch of pics. I’ve not edited them or staged anything….I just snapped and uploaded and then tried to title and label them appropriately.

If you look, you can see all the unpacked boxes, the chaos that we are thinking will eventually be our office or our TV Room. I don’t really want the TV in the front room and at the same time I like to see what my kids are up too so I’m undecided on what to do about that. You might be able to see the brushed silver knobs on the kitchen cabinets that totally update the look of the kitchen (there were gold brass knobs previously – there is SO MUCH gold/brass accenting this house. NASTY!) Our messy, MESSY bedroom, the kids stuff everywhere and the nasty couches that we dragged upstairs the the previous owners had left behind just so we could have something to sit on. The couch doesn’t match the grey/beige (greige) color that you might be able to see in some of the pictures as tester swatches on a few of the walls, but at least we have some place to sit and I don’t feel like I have to hover in the kitchen 24/7.

Funny story about the paint….although it still deons’t seem THAT funny to me…

I picked out a color that I thought I would love. I had seen pictures that I had liked and so we found out the color and even went and bought a small can. I brought it home and painted it in a few places and then freaked out that it was sucking ALL THE LIGHT IN THE HOUSE into the walls and that we’d end up feeling like we were living in a dungeon.

So, we went out an bought another small can of paint in a different color…..nope it was WAY TOO BEIGE. So we bought ANOTHER can of paint and it was WAY TOO silver/blue grey…..and really when it all came down to it the color that I really wanted was the original color…it was the perfect blend of the two and when we painted an entire section it actually looks AMAZING and I LOVE IT with all my heart and it will look perfect when it’s all done. Especially when we have everything pulled together and all the white accent pieces that we plan to use.

The colors that we are going with are this greige color with tons of white accessories and a gorgeous espresso color and some black thrown in to tie it all together.

When all is said and done we should have a very contemporary looking place.

I only know that because I went looking in decorating magazines and online to try and figure out what my “style” actually is.

It’s the very straight edges and clean lines and simple pieces….yah…right now my house doesn’t look anything like what the picture in my head looks like, but one day…..one day it’ll all come together as we are able to save up and buy the different pieces that complete the “look” that we are going for.

Now that I’ve blathered on and on and on, Here are the pictures if you want to peek at the place.

Front door

If you click on the picture it’ll take you through to the set. (edited to say that I’m not sure why the picture link isn’t working, but if you click HERE it’ll take you through to the set.

I hope to have anyone local over fairly soon for a “Yah we bought a house party!” Until then go ahead and familiarize yourself with my place via some pics.

Quiet Day at Home

I’m posting, not because I have something amazing to share or some deep thoughts to throw out there, but because I find that if I purpose to write, then it happens and the more it happens the better it is, but this one…..this is just drivel, put out there in an effort to continue on.

It’s just Siah and myself at home right now and so the house is quiet. I wish he were sleeping, but it’s not so…..

We have managed to clear out Jeremy and Siah’s room and I just need to put Siah’s clothes away as they are currently folded and on his change table.

We’ve put our big dresser in our walk-in closet and have all of “that” (clothes and closet) stuff about half put away.

I’ve had two “at home” days in a row and am feeling slightly more settled – which I know is a HUGE false sense of reality thing, but I’m holding onto it as the emotional stability of all of this is just as important to me as the physical reality and so I revel in my feeling more settled-ness.

We still have “oodles” of stuff to do at the old place and so many boxes to unpack and so much stuff to throw out here at the new place. I’m on a garbage binge and it feels SO GOOD!

For your viewing pleasure……….more cell pics…..

p-s

Anyone Still Out There?

It’s been a while, eh?

So, Um……well, we are moved….or moving….or started moving or something.

We are not completely out of the old house, but we are living in the new place.

As of yesterday, the floors are in and we have set up our bed and well……I’m feeling a tad bit more settled than I was earlier this week.

We’ve set up the front room – sort of – ya know, as much as you can with no furniture.

Here is a sneak peek from my phone….

house-peek

Okay, it’s not that we have no furniture, but no couches…..fun eh? So if we invite you over, bring your lawn chairs….fun, fun.

We still have a long way to go, but we’ll get there.

I just wanted to check in. Say “BOO”! Let ya’ll know that I’m still alive and that we FINALLY got internet……

All the lovely people around here have their wireless connections locked up tighter than Fort Knox and the one signal that we could get was extremely spotty and very weak.

So, we are back on-line and lovin’ it.

Now, to put the baby to bed and hope for 2 hours of time to clean and sort and organize and arrange.

How’re you all loving the heat?

So it was Canada Day, eh?

and the day pretty much flew by with nary a mention of our sacred holiday.

Okay, that’s not entirely true, but it was a great day and a sucky day…..I’m pretty much an all time fan of the whole…..it was the best of times and it was the worst of times mentality.

My life seems to be one giant contradiction.

The best part of the day was Jon and I being able to stay in bed until almost 10am….and even better was that during that time, we were not negligent parents….or ya know….at least not much.

None of the 4 kids woke up until after 9am…..HOW THE CRAP DOES THAT HAPPEN?

Now truthfully, the baby woke up at 6am, nursed and then went back to sleep, so we’re not talking miracles of all night hours, and HOURS or uninterrupted sleep, but seriously, this was pretty darn close.

Then we got up and after that incredibly slow start to the day we managed to make a small….pretty much minuscule…dent in the whole packing/moving situation. So minuscule that it’s almost not worth mentioning except for the fact that we got Jeremy’s room completely cleared out and the poor child is left with one box…yup, only 1 box of Lego to play with until we move.

I did manage to fold and sort through some of our Mt. Everest of laundry – I even vacuumed the carpet and cleaned the kitchen and even managed to put away all of the fruit and veggies that we bought.

So, even though it was not a great packing day, it was still a great “get on top of things” or better known as “attempt to claw your way out of the deep, dark, monstrosity of a hole that you been living in” day.

Jon’s parents come out to drop of Xani (She’s been out for her birthday shopping trip with Nana) and they stayed for a nice Canadian dinner of tortilla’s….cause we’re all patriotic like that….ya know, with the American and the New Zealand heritage shining through. Then they left and Jon took the kids out to our front patio to attempt to see the few fireworks that actually make it taller than the church down the block…..I nicely suggested that he take them over to a friend of ours house who live really close to the field where they set the fireworks off.

The kids freaked out so excited that they got to go….I’m not sure how excited Jon was, but he really does like fireworks…

Me? I’m indifferent. If we are there when they go off. Nice, but if you’ve seen them once, you’ve seen them and it really doesn’t do anything for me. So….I stayed home and caught up on a bit of work….totally sucks, eh? But it was necessary, if not so fun or holiday-ish.

And that was it. No fun parades attended, no partying with friends, no fun Canada day fairs or amusements parks or pancake breakfasts….just a boring day in the middle of the week that has TOTALLY screwed me up because it totally feels like a weekend and yet…I have to go into work tomorrow. What is up with that?

Oh well, one day and then a real weekend. YAHOO! And, guess what we’re doing tomorrow…we are signing the paperwork for our house with the notary. Tomorrow we sign our lives away. It’s so exciting.

We get legal possession on next Thursday and then the flooring should be finished NEXT weekend (my bro is working on it right now) and then we can be all moved in…sort of….we’re still working on all those details and how that’s all going to work….I’m so excited! EEEEEKKKK!

Although, I dying a little at the thought of cleaning almost 10 years of living out of this place…..hold me as I contemplate the sheer effort required to clean every little crevice and all the big walls and behind the stove and fridge…..you know, ll those fun places……Yuck!

So, what did you do for Canada Day or what are you doing for July 4th or if you’re not from Canada or the States…how was your week?

Apple Hemp Muffins

Yah, so I took a down day on Monday after my melodramatic post….OH WOE IS ME! And then – BLAM! Whadda ya know…I’m back at it…..or not…..we’ll see! Just taking it one tired day at a time!

Here’s the deal. I did some baking on Monday and they were SO yummy I just had to share.

They still taste pretty good the next day, but fresh outta the oven with a light schmear of Earth Balance and they were DELICIOUS!

I found this recipe at the Happy Foody. Here in this exact post…..to be exact.

We are attempting to fatten Jeremy up this summer as he looks like he has an eating disorder….well, to be more accurate a not-eating disorder. The meds make him feel slightly nauseated and so he doesn’t eat. Which means that he’s skinny…like skinny, SKINNY, skinny. We have managed to have him not LOSE weight on the meds (which apparently it is totally normal to loose weight on ADD meds), but honestly I can’t fathom him losing any weight. You can already see every bone and sinew on his body. It’s slightly nasty…or maybe even a little more than slightly nasty. Not cool for an 8 year old.

And so, I feed him and feed him and feed him again; and deal with him un-medicated as often as I can so that he can gain some weight and look just slightly more “normal”. This ought to be a FUN summer.

Any way, the point is….for healthy, non-dairy, non-egg muffins…these are amazing. Give’em a try.

Here is the recipe that I used….tweaked slightly from the original which you can find from the link above.

Apple Hemp Muffins

Don’t they look scrumptious!

Apple Hemp Muffins

1 1/2 cups stoneground Spelt Flour
1 cup ground oats (blend quick oats in food processor until flour consistency)
1/2 cup hemp seed nuts
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp sea salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg (freshly ground is best!)
1/8 tsp ground cardamom
1 cup unsweetened applesauce
1/2 cup pure maple syrup
3/4 cup soy milk
1 tsp pure vanilla extract
3 tbsp olive oil

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In large bowl, combine all dry ingredients. In another bowl, combine all wet ingredients. Mix together gently and fold until blended (do not over mix). Bake for 15-20 minutes

Makes 18 small muffins.

Happy Birthday, Xandra Janelle!

It’s Xandra’s 11th Birthday today.

Xani 3

Wow! Does time ever fly by? It’s hard to believe that this little girl has grown up so fast.

She was my BABY. I wanted a baby and had Geli and all she wanted to do was to grow up so SO fast. So I got pregnant with Alexandra 6 months after Angelica was born and she was ALL BABY, ALL THE TIME!

In fact, Xandra was still a baby LOOOOONG after Jeremy was born.

She still wanted to be held and carried and packed around like a baby. She did for a long time.

Xani 1

I remember us talking about how she was in her own little word. I thought that was just her personality….turns out she just couldn’t see and all those hours spent talking to herself as she sat 2 inches away from the mirror were probably her way of connecting with actual people instead of moving and shifting blobs….

I remember the Dr talking to us about how poor her eye sight actually was. It’s amazing she is as well adjusted as she is and now, her eye sight is fairly well…..not perfect, but perfect with glasses and honestly, the Dr wasn’t even sure that we could pull that much off. So we are so thankful for how far she’s come.

The school was even talking to us about autism in Grade One…..got the girl some glasses and turns out that not only is she not autistic, but that she’s above average. Who woulda thunk it?

Xani 2

She is happy and bubbly and has the most amazing personality. She is soft and gentle followed with a quick wit and acid temper if she is crossed. She is the most amazing set of contradictions and I love her. She makes me laugh and cry and wonder how I was so blessed to have been a part of bringing her into this world.

She is growing up so fast. Faster than Geli is… in some ways…..it’s scarey. I’m not sure if it’s her friends this year or just her inquisitive personality, but she’s so interested in fashion and all things “girly” and even boys…..

One thing we have in our favor is that we can and do talk about so much. She has unending questions and while I might not always have the answers, we can at least go searching for those answers together and hand in hand we will find answers to all the questions she has.

Xani 4

She is growing up to be a gorgeous woman inside and out and while she still has some time yet…I often catch glimpses of the woman she will become and my heart swells with pride and love and joy…..but mostly love.

Happy 11th Birthday, my sweet bunny!

Nothing of Value……

I have absolutely nothing of value to say.

I tried 4 times and wrote 4 different posts actual, whole, REALLY SUCKY posts on that day that Jon guest posted and then I gave up and asked if he had anything.

Siah has slept through the night exactly ONCE in the last 2 weeks and that was Saturday night.

He has had 2 allergic reactions complete with bloody diarrhea, vomiting, screaming, and wicked WICKED, gut bloating, stomach rumbling gas. Throw into the middle of that a wicked virus, that I’m guessing attacked because his immune system was compromised, and you have my life over the last 2 weeks.

I’m so freaking exhausted that I can’t think straight.

I’m losing words…you know when you can see the word in your mind or a picture of the word or an idea of what your talking about and you can’t verbalize it…..ya I sound like a complete idiot right now as I struggle for words and they just aren’t coming.

I’m forgetting things….important things.

I don’t do this. I’m an “on top of it” kind of person. I remember everything. I don’t goof up (much).

I figure that conservatively we have been getting about a total of 3-4 hours of sleep a night and that’s been broken up into hour stretches.

I’m an 8hr of sleep a night person and this feels like it’s slowly destroying me.

On top of that, he is miserable and tired and because of that tiredness and cranky-ness, Siah is an absolute MONSTER during the day. After the good sleep on Saturday night, he was his normal happy self on Sunday morning, but after a too short of an afternoon sleep – he once again crossed over into “grouchy bear” territory.

I think about my bed. I fantasize about sleep. I dream about running away from my children and my home and all the packing and moving and sleeping for 2 weeks. I just want a few consecutive days of sleep straight through in a row. It’s so sad.

I really just want my baby to sleep.

And so, I have no idea when I’ll have something exciting to say or even interesting as I’m certain that this is not interesting reading material. Something amazing might happen today and I might scrape together the effort to share it……….or not!

I LOVE to come here and share, but when I’m this tired I’m aware of what that “something to share” sounds (or reads) like. BORING! And so I’ll be back when I can find my brain or my funny or even if I just get a good bit of sleep…..