Life – Page 16 – xangelle.com

Stopping to Enjoy Little Moments

Sometimes before bed, little tummy’s get a little bit hungry.

There’s nothing quite like a warm glass of milk and some cookies for a bedtime snack.

It’s especially fun when you can pretend that your cookies are glasses….mind you it’s a little difficult to see through them, but it’s still fun to pretend, isn’t it?

Sometimes its nice to just stop and look at all the little details. Some of those “little” things” won’t stay little for very long and it’s so nice to be able to stop and take a minute to record and remember the little things in life.

And sometimes, you are reminded that life is a bit messy and sometimes “really enjoying life” involves a bit of mess, some clean up and may even require some changes after, but it’s all worth it…….

These little moments in life pass by so quickly.

Too Fast

My baby is growing up WAY TOO FAST.

Hey! Are you talking to ME?

There are aspects of my life that I wish would go much faster and yet typically, I try to just enjoy the moment that I’m in. But in all of the busyness of this season of our lives, I often feel that I’m missing out on “just enjoying” the time with my baby. I think that I know that once this time is gone, I’ll never get it back and so I’m trying to hold onto every moment that I can get. Often it feels like I just don’t have the opportunity to “just enjoy” and truth be told, sometimes I’m just way too tired to “enjoy” and we’re left with just holding on and surviving through “this moment”.

Ah well, It is what it is and I refuse to beat myself up (too badly) over it all.

I’m hiding

Judah is almost 7 months old. How is that even possible? Man!

Peek-A-Boo! I see you!

He’s right at 27 pounds….typing that out it seems so crazy! And I have no idea how long he is…long enough to look WAY older than almost 7 months old. He’s wearing 12-18 month clothes. He is such a happy baby, unless he’s upset, and then……THEN HE’S REALLY UPSET!

He knows how to let you know that he’s not happy about something. There are no worries that he might get lost in all of the day to day chaos. No Sir! That kid communicates quite loudly about his wants and needs.

And…..He is mobile! GAWK!

Up on all fours

He’s not crawling (normally) just yet, but I suspect that it’s any day now. He does get up on all fours and so I’m on the look out for when he starts to “crawl”. Right now he does this cute little army crawl and can get from one end of our dining/living room all the way to the other. We can’t just put him down on the floor and expect him to stay put. Nope! He is ALL OVER the place.

I need to get a video of him to show you. It’s SO cute!

I’m so cute, aren’t I?

He can even sit for brief periods of time now. Man! This time goes by so SO fast.

We are so thrilled to have this darling little man in our lives. He is such a blessing to us and brings such light and joy to our lives.

Shhhhh! Don’t tell anyone I can crawl or they might not pick me up as often!

Update for Monday January 17, 2011

So we are plowing our way through the second half of the 4th stage of Chemotherapy. This stage is called Delayed Intensification and the first half is a mini repeat of the very first stage of chemo that Angelica went through and the second half is a mini repeat of the 2nd stage of chemotherapy.

These two weeks that we are/have been working on are quite intensive. Angelica gets a Lumbar Puncture with some chemo injected into her spinal fluid on Tuesdays. She also gets another “heavy hitter” chemo med on Tuesday along with yet another chemotherapy medicine that she receives for 4 days in a row, Tues, Wed, Thurs, and Fri. She repeats this schedule for 2 weeks and then the last 2 weeks of this stage involve a weekly shot of a chemo drug called Vincristine and another dose of another chemo drug called PEG-L-asperiginase. The PEG is the one that gets injected intra-muscularly into both thighs….not fun.

If all goes according to plan and schedule, she should be starting the next round on February the 8th.

This current stage that she’s in can be a bit tough. Angelica feels quite icky after her “big” Tuesday of fun and that carries on as the week goes on.

The LP can give her a headache. The Cyclophosphamide can cause a whole host of nasty side effects and the Cytarabine (the one that’s given for 4 days in a row, 3 days off, then another 4 days in a row) builds up in your system the longer you take it.

My life is “LEGO-RRIFIC”!

We’ve managed to make it almost through the entire first week. Tomorrow starts the second week of this treatment. Every chemo drug has a high point where the drug is at it’s most toxic, that is called the Nadir. The drugs that she’s currently hit their nadir at about 7-10 days. This means that the drugs that she received last Tuesday are starting to hit their high point. Because she’s taking the drugs on back to back weeks, the effects start to build on top of each other. By the end of this week/beginning of next, Angelica’s counts should be very low and may still be heading down for another week.

We would expect that her counts would be very, very, VERY low over the next two weeks.

One side effect of these current meds is that they can cause fevers. And, any fever is an automatic trip to the hospital. Another side effect of these meds is that her counts could go to low and sometimes when your counts are too low…..you can get a neutropenic fever. Again, with the free pass to the hospital…..

Obviously, we don’t want a free pass to the hospital. We don’t want a medically induced fever. We don’t want a neutropenic fever and we definitely don’t want an infection based fever. So we are praying for Angelica to stay healthy over the next couple of weeks.

Her spirits are high, and she’s doing quite well, emotionally. Her friends keep in contact with her and I’m so thankful that she has a couple of AMAZING girlfriends who are such a great encouragement to her. Geli is working hard to stay on top of her school work, most of the time…..she is a teenager and often would rather be playing on her iPod Touch than plowing through Socials homework. But she is doing really well….especially considering that she is in the French Immersion Program.

We are hoping that with the next stage of chemo that she’ll be able to attend a bit of school. She was able to go to school quite a bit the last time she received Methotrexate.

We have managed to stay out of the hospital since November and it’s been amazing. Not that our time has been all lollipops and roses, but it’s been so nice to attempt to have things as “stable” as they could be.

The stress level in the house seems to be a bit lower. Josiah has had probably the most noticeable change over the past 2 months. He is sort of sleeping better. He is not wigging out, as much. One of the nicest aspects…..he is no longer peeing himself 25 times a day. He went from almost potty trained to mostly completely not potty trained and now….he’s doing better than he was before the diagnosis. He has definitely calmed down a lot and I believe it has a lot to do with things being a bit more calm and stable around here. He is 3 and while that brings its own set of challenges, reducing the “crazy” in the house has really helped him to be at peace, which in turn helps us to be more at peace and for that, we are so thankful.

Siah, just chillin’ in the sunshine….

Jeremy is just Jeremy and we are waiting for him to get some testing done in regards to his unique talents and abilities. His unique-ness allows him to be a bit self-focused and self-absorbed; and while his intensity feeds off the stress or peace in the house, for the most part, he is doing okay.

Xani is struggling. I’m not sure what to do. I’m not even sure how to talk about it all or what to do with it all. We had a good talk on the weekend and I’m hoping that it helps her some. Mentally and emotionally this is all a bit much for her and I think that the stress has caught up with her, physically. She’s been so sick over the past month. It’s just not normal.

We do have all the kids booked into see our family Doctor next week and it will be good to get a check up for all of them.

Jon and I still feel like we are going at a million miles an hour and these 2 weeks of treatment don’t really help with that. Often, the kids will all be put down for the night and we’ll have the opportunity to “spend some time together” and instead, we’ll just go to bed because we are just so tired. Going to bed at 8:30-9pm makes you feel like you are a million years old especially when you wake up the next morning and don’t feel rested. Ah well, it’s only a time, right???

We are slowly making our way through this. It feels like it’s been FOREVER ago that we found out about the diagnosis and it feels like we have FOREVER to go, but we are more than half way through that THAT is awesome!

What? Do I have something on my face?

One day at a time and we’ll make it through this.

Thank you for standing with us and encouraging us and supporting us. We are so thankful to have you in our lives.

Already There

Angelica, Have I told you that I love you recently? Have I told you HOW MUCH I love you?

I do. I love you SO SO MUCH.

It’s not necessary for you to shave your head. Not now, not ever. If you don’t want you, you don’t have to.

There are aspects of this whole situation that suck and the whole “losing your hair” thing is one of those things that just SUCKS! It’s “not” really that big of a deal, but I think that it’s more “what” it represents. There is a starkness and an “in your face” reality of it all. You can’t pretend that this is not happening. You are then faced (literally) on a day to day basis of the harsh reality this whole journey.

I know that I don’t have to shave my hair. I know that you’ve not asked me to do this and yet I want to. I want to be there with you along this road. I can’t be inside of you protecting you from all the chemo and all the side effects. I cannot calm that storms that rage inside your mind and body, but in this way, I can join you. And although you still currently have hair, it’s looking like it might not be there sometime in the future and I want you to know that…..

1. it’s just hair. It’s not what makes us beautiful. We are beautiful regardless and our hair is something fun that we get to play with, like jewelery or make up or clothes. It’s adorns us, it doesn’t define us.

2. Obviously it will grow back….it keeps doing that and every day that we live……brings us one day closer to the day that we can walk away from the uphill stage of this battle.

3. Even if it’s not necessary for you to shave your hair, or if it doesn’t fall out…….I don’t mind. I just want you to know that I’m already down this part of the road and it’s not bad…..maybe a little chilly in the frosty winter chill (HA) ….but it’s okay.

I know that this part of the whole ordeal is not your favorite, but again….you are weathering this all with so much strength and grace and I’m SO PROUD OF YOU!

You are amazing!
You are gorgeous!
You are so brave!
You are so strong!

I love you!

If you do need to walk on this side of the road….I’m already here and its okay!

My Heart is So Very Full

2010 was a rough year and I think that’s putting it mildly.

We had some amazing ups and some really horrific downs. I could try to just focus on the positive things, but some of those positive things would not have happened without the negative things happening first and so it’s all one giant messy tangle of good and bad.

As I (and we as a family) start off this new year and I look back at all that 2010 was…one thing stands out in my mind.

I’m SO THANKFUL.

We would not be in the position that we are without you. You have made these past 6 months bearable. Were it not for you, I’m not sure what kind of shape I’d be in right now.

I’m starting out the New Year closer to a position of strength than I ever thought possible. What do I mean by that???

Well, I have felt so beaten up and bruised and shattered for most of the past 6 months. I think that the shock of Geli being diagnosed with cancer combined with the birth of Judah and our family being thrown into chaos and separated for so often and so long, combined with the stress of Geli being SO sick, while dealing with all the other kids needs and a newborn, along with a Judah’s digestive issues……well, the stress of everything has seemed so overwhelming and I have been really struggling in the last half of this past year.

Because of Angelica’s health, our family has been quite secluded and there have been times that I’ve “felt” so alone. Most of the time I’ve been way to busy just trying to stay on top of the family and house and I’ve not had time to really feel alone, but there are definitely moments….moments when the walls of my house feel way too close and I desperately need to escape and so I…..run to the grocery store to pick something up. That’s so exciting, isn’t it? I’ve not had the energy to actually “go out” or even to just go and sit at a coffee shop. I’ve been too tired to “do” anything and my 15 minutes of grocery shopping about does me in for the evening. I’ve gone to bed at 8:30-9pm more nights than I’ve been awake past then and while I know that dealing with cancer, a newborn and a family of 7 is a fair amount to accomplish in a day….I still end up going to bed feeling so unproductive and unaccomplished.

And this………this is where you all come in.

It’s been rough and I’ve felt overwhelmed and yet……..there you are.

You have given meals. You’ve sent cards and e-mails and letters. You’ve left messages. You’ve brought groceries. You’ve given gift cards. You’ve helped to clean my house. You’ve taken the kids. You’ve brought food and groceries. You’ve left comments. You’ve given financially. You’ve given gifts to my children. You’ve sent notes and cards and postcards to the children. You’ve lifted our spirits. You’ve helped to carry us along when we were too tired to take another step. You’ve come and taken me grocery shopping when I didn’t think I could go. You came and spent New Years Day with us and made it wonderful and made me cry because I thought we were going to be alone and you made it so special. You’ve taken my kids for sleepovers and out for treats. You’ve co-ordinated help and meals for us. You’ve donated your tips to us. You’ve shaved your hair to raise money for us. You’ve prayed for us. You’ve made birthday’s special. You helped us to have an amazing mini-vacation, one that my kids still talk about (even yesterday it was mentioned). You’ve continued to leave comments just to let us know that you are there and are thinking about us….even if I’ve not posted recently. You’ve folded laundry & washed bathrooms and floors. You’ve kept the church running so that we were free to be with our family. You are amazing. There is so much more I’ve not listed here.

This Christmas we were blown away.

We were overwhelmed with love and support. I’ve said that before, but it was so true. I’m so hesitant to start mentioning names or groups because I know that once I start, for sure I will miss some people out and I don’t believe that any gift is unimportant.

I think that we are like a body. Every single part is important. Even something seemingly insignificant as a fingernail…..is important. You really notice how important your fingernail or toenail is when it’s ripped off, don’t you? I’m not saying that you’re a toenail, but that no part is too small or insignificant. No gift has been too small or insignificant. Every single one of you is so important and you have played out YOUR ROLE in our life exquisitely.

We felt waves and waves and waves of love washing over us this holiday season. We felt completely flooded and even overwhelmed with love and support. I sat on the floor one night and just cried because it was so overwhelming, in a good way. As I sat there, it was like a movie played in my mind and all the good things from this past year scrolled through and I was so grateful.

I’m not alone.

I’M NOT ALONE!

That night, those words rang out over and over and over inside my brain. They started as a whisper and grew louder and louder and louder until it was all I could hear. I’M NOT ALONE. I’m so sorry if I’ve not mentioned it before or if I’ve felt so overwhelmed by the negative things in my life that I just couldn’t see it but I’M NOT ALONE!

You’ve been here with me. You are supporting us. You are loving us. You have been here to help us. You are carrying us. You are amazing and I (and we as a family) are not alone.

My heart is so very, very full. Full of thankfulness, full of love, full of the knowledge that we are not alone.

This is an amazing start to 2011 and I am so thankful that you are here sharing it with me.

May your year be full of love and joy and peace and health, & family and friends.

New Years Eve Update

Judah wanted to wish you all a Happy New Years Eve Day…..

This year has been so full of both good and bad: and while we are SO ready to move beyond the bad….we are so thankful for the good. And, really, that’s life, isn’t it? You must take the good with the bad and move forward. Having said that, we are really looking forward to a New Year. And we are expecting GOOD THINGS, in this New Year. We are looking forward to what 2011 has in store for us as a family and as individuals. Are you?

I thought we could end the year with an update on how Geli and the family are doing and then I will start the New Year on a whole different note.

This is a picture of Angelica on December 23rd. She is just trying to finish up one aspect of her sibling/cousin presents that she left until last minute, but I’m just excited that she was able to make her own gifts this year. Can you see her hair? At this point, she had some hair that was about 2-3 inches long. That was the hair that didn’t fall out at the beginning of the treatment. It was pretty sparse, but it was fairly long (for her) and it’s been growing since the head shaving party in July. The really exciting part was that under that sparse layer of hair there is a WHOLE TON of hair about 1 inch long that is coming in under all the long sparse stuff. It seemed like overnight she went from really thin hair to POOF….this whole “under” layer of hair that filled in all the holes. It was pretty cool. The not cool part…..she just went through a round of Chemo that is expected to make the hair fall out again.

We figured that seeing as her hair was expected to fall out within the next little bit, we might as well have some fun with it while it lasted.

She chose a color that she’s used before. It’s a very cool Dark Blue/Black color. To look straight at her, it looks black; but when the light hits her the right way, it’s VERY blue.

You can see some of the blue-ish color in this next photo.

It was kinda fun to do something that was out of the ordinary and something that we would have done before she was diagnosed. She had very funky hair for Christmas. Right after Christmas, like on Boxing Day, we noticed that her hair was starting to fall out. There was TONS of blue/black hair in her bed, on her clothes, on the couch, on the baby, on me…pretty much everywhere.

I will probably be shaving my hair in the next few days. I waffle between wishing I wasn’t going to and not really caring because it’s just hair and being thankful because my hair’s at an awkward length right now where I have to do it everyday or else I look like a massive Q-Tip….it’s cute (or not). And, I realize that all of those thoughts to some degree of less must go through her head as well, and that’s part of the reason why I would join her in this way.

This is a picture of Geli from this morning. I’m not sure if you can tell, but her hair has thinned out quite a bit. At this point, it looks like all of the “original” hair has fallen out and some of the new hair seems to be falling out as well. We’re not sure exactly how much will stay, but really….it’s just hair. And, it’ll grow again and then when she repeats this phase again…she’ll lose it again and then…..then it can really start coming back.

Geli’s been spending a lot of time laying on our couch over the past week. We’ve managed to avoid the hospital and we are SO excited about that. I’m a bit worn out by stress because on Boxing Day, Angelica woke up barfing and barfing and barfing and barfing and we really weren’t sure what was going on. Apparently either a bit of food poisoning or some wicked virus hit a few of my family, because my mom, both sisters, a sister-in-law, Geli and myself (to a very small degree) had some serious gastro-intestinal issues. Geli had a few nasty days and I wasn’t really sure what was going on. She had no fever, but was really not doing well. We weren’t sure what her counts were doing and were unsure if she’d be strong enough to fight off whatever was attacking her. Unfortunately, all of this also coincided with her finishing up the fist half of the current phase of Chemo that she is on. One of the side effects of the steroid that she was taking is wicked joint and bone pain. She has really been in pain over the past 2 days, in fact, she was in tears yesterday and needed some codeine to take the edge off.

She is really dealing with all of this as well as can possibly be expected, but all of this is not easy.

She has a break, and doesn’t start the second half of this phase until January 11th. We are hoping and praying that she really gets to enjoy this next week and a half; and that her counts recover as they are quite low….not decimated, but quite low.

We are going to be missing attending our annual Family New Years Party because her counts are too low to justify throwing her into the middle of 50+ people in one house. So, we are all feeling pretty bummed about that but I think it’s hardest for the kids because as adults, we can comprehend that it’s only one year and that it’s for a really good reason, but the kids…well, they just see it at one more thing that we are missing out on. We are trying to come up with something fun, exciting and yet low key to be able to do with the kids to celebrate.

We may just celebrate by actually staying up until midnight and banging pots and pans….yesterday, Angelica actually asked what the deal with New Years was about. See, typically we’ve just put out kids to bed and then gone to bed ourselves, well before midnight and then celebrated New Years with our extended family on New Years Day. So, they have no idea about New Years Eve celebrations…..maybe that just might be what we’ll do this year…..if I can make it up until midnight. Or maybe not……we’ll see.

How are are planning on celebrating the New Year?

The Ups and Downs

It’s been a bit of a rough weekend, which spilled over into the start of a rough week and really – I’m still feeling a bit shaky, but I’m hoping that I can pull it together and climb up and out of the funk that I was/am in.

Judah had a pretty rough weekend health-wise and where he had seemed like he was getting better – he seemed to be even worse and it scared and stressed me out. He was grouchy and upset and wanted to be held. 25lbs of dead weight is a bit much to carry around 18 hours of the day especially when you’re trying to clean and cook and herd children and carry on with the daily grind of it all.

As a result, I was one seriously stressed out ball of massive hurt…..I still hurt. My back, shoulders and neck have not recovered from 2 days of that, and they involuntarily recoil when I reach to take him from Jon or one of the girls. It’s not been fun!

Geli’s been feeling “off”. She has been having some nasty headaches – which I can totally relate too – and her emotions are right on edge. She has one more day “on” the steroid and then a week off followed by one more week on and then we have a 3 month break from the steroids. So far, her sugar levels have been totally perfect and we’re praying that they stay that way.

Between stressing about Judah’s health and Geli’s whole situation, and throwing in me feeling so useless and inadequate……I just had the worst weekend. Any one thing, is way too much stress for us to handle, but everything together is overwhelming. And I hate feeling like I’m not accomplishing things.

I hate that my baby is having stomach problems. By the way, my dr thinks that he picked up a bug and that he is on the upswing, and just ended up with a virus, which only makes things seem worse, when they are in fact, getting better. I should know in a day or two, if this is the case, but the whole situation feels very wearing on me.

And, for whatever reason, he just woke up….and so with that – I’m done for the night.

Feeding on Creativity

That post last night comes pretty close to the worst post I’ve written yet. It’s so disjointed, and really has no point, and look….hey…..cookies.

My coffee table at this exact moment. What does it say to you about me?

In my defense it was late, I had just made way too many fussy cookies, I was watching a show and chatting with Jon about something or other……all the while dreaming about my bed.

See, I probably should have just gone to bed early again, but I’d been in bed and sleeping the previous 3 nights at 9pm and seeing as we “get things done” after the kids go to bed, I’ve been feeling pretty useless and like I’ve accomplished NOTHING. And so I chose to stay up and “get some things done” and posting was on that list.

But, hey, we’ll just go with the fact that I was able to cross one thing off my list. Sometimes, it can be about quantity and not quality, right?

Even I don’t believe that. I’m much more of a quality over quantity type person, myself…..most of the time.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. Not in a bad way, more that I’ve got a lot of thoughts inside my head and I’ve not had enough opportunity to get them all out of me.

I love to be creative. I love to make things. I love to find things to make my life and my family’s lives more healthy and more beautiful, and easier and more enjoyable and if I can do so in a simple manner, then I get even more excited. It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to find the energy or the time to be creative. Recently, I’ve been feeling antsy to be able to make and create and while I think this is a good thing…….. with the chemotherapy, and 5 kids and the back load of stress, it’s a little frustrating and has me wondering if I’m just trying to “escape” from things.

I think that it’s important to do things that “feed” you and over the past 5 months, there’s not been too much time or energy for that, and so I’m trying to make sure that I allow myself some time for things that “feed” me and at the same time I’m trying to make sure that it doesn’t become all consuming.

So far, I’m able to work on some things and then put them aside when I need to focus on the kids and family and then to be able to pick them up again. I feel…..well, as corny as it sounds, I feel more alive. I’m excited to try to accomplish as many of my daily chores and tasks in a decent amount of time, but then to be able to stop and give myself a few moments to be creative. I’m trying to find the balance in all this chaos. Most of the time, it’s easier said than done.

But, with Christmas coming up and gifts to be given…….I’ve chosen to work on gifts to give and I’m pretty excited about some of the ideas that I’ve come up with. Some are old ideas, and some are new, but I get to be creative and so for me……it’s fun!

I love to be able to see what other people make and do. I love to look things that others make because I am always trying to see if I can come up with ideas that I can tweak to be able to make things. I like to be able to use things that I have or that I can obtain easily, so I’m constantly on the lookout for new ideas that are fairly simple. I like simple. I’m not so big into complicated. But I guess that’s all relative, isn’t it? What might be simple for you might be very difficult for me. We are all so individual and each of us have our own unique giftings and skills. That’s what makes this world an amazing place.

Some of the things I’ve made I can share and some I have to keep a secret, but I’m hoping to share a few of my ideas over the next little while and then maybe you can tweak my ideas and use them to create things of your own to give or to keep.

ps. those jam thumbprint cookies in the photo above – gluten, dairy and egg free. I used this recipe and used Vegan Becel instead of butter and Ener-G Egg Replacer instead of eggs. I also added about 3 more Tablespoons of Rice Flour than they called for as the Vegan Becel makes the dough a little oil-ier than normal cookie dough. Try them, they are amazing. Almost like shortbread.

MMMmmmmmm

Things have been busy over here in so many different areas.

I keep thinking that I’ll have a moment to update what going on and instead I’ve ended up with a backlog of things to write about and new things just keep on happening. That’s life isn’t it? It just keeps moving forward at a steady, predictable rate; even if you desperately want it to slow down and especially if you want it to speed up.

In case things weren’t already crazy enough, I’ve recently needed to remove gluten from my diet. I mentioned a while ago that Judah was having some gastro-intestinal issues. Removing dairy seemed to help a little and yet it really didn’t help like I thought it would. When I went to the doctor, it seems that his issues are dairy, gluten and yeast related and we are trying to figure out if this is a short term deal or a much more serious situation.

It’s been just over a week since I removed the gluten and while things are not great, they do seem to be a little bit better. Judah seems to be in less pain and that’s a huge deal for me.

I found this recipe for gluten-free Oreo cookies and figured that I’d attempt to alter it to make it dairy-free and egg-free. I baked up a batch tonight and it’s amazing.

Jon figures that they are good enough that you’d never know that they were dairy, egg and gluten-free. They are sooooo yummy and I know the kids are going to flip when they wake up in the morning.

Angelica is starting the 4th stage of the chemotherapy tomorrow morning. She went and got blood work done this morning and when her counts came back this afternoon….they were FABULOUS!

We were hoping that they would be high for the start of this round and they are, especially compared to how low they were last week. They are low for normal, but high for Geli.

Xani has been quite sick over the past week. It was almost like the flu but with no barfing or fever…….she’s had a headache, sore muscles, an all over achy feeling, runny nose, cough, and I think that she’s finally, slowly, on the mend.

Jeremy turned 10 years old yesterday and I’ve got a bunch of stuff to update on him.

Siah has not been sleeping very well and as a result, he’s been a bit of a goofball during the day. Lots of tears and whining and fussing and moaning and screaming….it’s a bit wearing. And I’d love to say that I have some great ideas and plans of what to do with him to work through this rough patch, but….ya…..nope! Nothing! I’m not sure if I’m too tired to come up with something or maybe I need to be just a little bit tired before “it” comes to me. I dunno, but I’m sure we’ll figure something out or maybe he’ll grow out of it all before I have to come up with something.

Christmas is coming and I’ve been baking (gluten-free, of course) and we’re trying to get things ready so that things will be peaceful and calm. I can at least hope for peace and calm, right?

I’m hoping to find a few moments to be able to get a few things caught up on here (and in real life). Should we take bets on whether it will actually happen or not????

Ah well. Life keeps moving along and I keep on moving with it, whether I like it or not.

I’m Dreaming of…..

Not sure what craziness was going on last night, but all 4 of the males in our house were taking part in some crazy sleep deprivation thing.

Yah, Jon, Jeremy, Josiah and Judah….all of them were awake pretty much mostly from 2:30am until 5:30am….That means that basically Geli and Xani got to sleep last night and the rest of us….well, we were mostly up.

And so I feel a bit like a zombie today. I was hoping to accomplish SO MUCH MORE and yet, no. Grocery Shopping it is.

The baby is playing nicely on the floor beside me and the girls are in the basement playing. Jon has taken the boys to run a chore and at this exact moment, I’m sitting on my couch. Counting down the minutes until I could possibly go to bed for the night.

I’m figuring that if Judah goes to sleep between 7:30pm and 8pm then I’m looking at 4.5 hours….maybe I could even just take him to bed with me and make it half an hour earlier….

Yup, that about how exciting life is today. I’m dreaming of………sleep.

And when I’m this tired, there is really no flowing coherent thought, other than…..I just want to sleep and so I shall end this post and keep myself busy until the most wonderful time of the……..day.