Family – Page 17 – xangelle.com

The Comfort of Family

We went and visited some friends on Friday. I’ve known her since we were teeny, tiny wee ones.

We are not the kind of friends that are always up in each others spaces – 24/7, BUT……every, and I do mean EVERY time we get together it feels like we were just together yesterday. We might have more to talk about if some time has passed since we were last together, but the honesty and trust that is there……it just can’t be beat.

So we finally managed to hook up and when we were talking we realized that it’s been over 2 months since we sat down and relaxed together. I’ve seen her briefly in between that time and we’ve talked on the phone, but we hadn’t actually spent an evening together.

Her husband is literally one of the biggest and yet most gentle spirited people I know.

This picture does him absolutely no justice, and yet it does capture something of that gentleness that I see and feel every time we get together.

Our kids are the most amazing friends……

and even though we both have once child who struggles a little more than some of the others….they are still AMAZING kids…

Her littlest darling is an absolute monkey. She had me shoot a freak load of pics of her. She has such a personality. You’d NEVER be able to tell that from the pics would you. (click through to see a ton more of her looking SO cute)

My littlest monkey serenaded us on a miniature guitar and improvised his lack of a guitar pick by using a bread tag….

Jon – the most amazing husband ever….

…..grabbed the camera and took a few pictures of me – see I really was there….

There is a MUCH nicer picture of me if you click through to the whole set…..

It is so nice to be able to go and hang out somewhere with people that you know and love and to feel like you are just chillin’ in your own house.

These guys are so much more than friends….they are family! I hope that you all have or find friends like this in your lives…at least once.

Waiting…..more waiting.

We had just sat down to watch a movie tonight and the baby started crying. He was saying owie and then asking for me and then more crying and well, I’m not sure why he woke up , but he doesn’t want Jon, but he does want to nurse and well….we don’t do that in the night. You know, unless he was really honestly sick or something and needed the extra comfort.

I recognize that I’m well into the “extended nursing phase” and quite frankly I’ve been surprised at the LACK of nasty comments that I’ve gotten. Not that i want any nasty comments, but Siah is definately far beyond what is considered normal to still be nursing. There are lots of people that I’ve read about and fewer that I’ve actually known who nursed beyond 2 years old and so when I sit down and nurse Siah in a public place….I’m not nasty about it, but he might nurse around noon when he would take a nap and if I’m out, then I nurse him…..I’m pretty sure people are thinking it and I get the “surprised” looks, but so far no ones said anything.

I won’t be nursing him when he’s 5 so don’t get all excited, but we’re enjoying this time together. Maybe he enjoys it more than I do, but we’re not ready to quit quite yet……I’m sure you’ll all hear about it when it happens….’cause I’m kinda open like that.

Okay, so all of that had NOTHING to do with what I was going to talk about tonight which was that we are waiting to hear some news.

It could be good news, it could be bad news or it could be so so news. I think that about covers any response that we could get back from the people that we made an offer to for their house.

We should hear something sometime tomorrow.

I’m hoping that we do get the home, but I know that if it’s not meant to be then it won’t happen and while I would LOVE to live in this house – I can be confident knowing that God has it all under control and that He is leading and guiding us.

If this one doesn’t work out – while I think that this could be a good fit for our family, there is obviously a better home for us.

To tell you a little bit about our offer and about the home….

We have offered a little over $20,00 less than the asking price. This is kind of a HUGE deal for me as we could do the asking price, but our Realtor did some homework and found another house in the same neighborhood with a smaller house, but a slightly bigger property that sold 3 months ago and we are offering roughly what that house sold for. This house has been on the market for a while and we are hoping that they want to sell it.

It has 3 bedrooms with one extra kind of weird room that could be used as a den or office or a bedroom. We will need to put the girls together and the boys together in bedrooms and so from that aspect it’s different from here where each kid has their own room, but when we walked into the place it felt like home more than any other place that we saw.

It has a kitchen that opens into an eating area which is seperated by a hallway from the dining room which opens in to the front living room from which the front doors opens and then hooks around again into the kitchen……off of the eating area and down 4 steps is a family room….

It all feels very open and cozy – if that’s even possible…I know that they typically contradict each other. There is a wood burning stove that would be awesome in the winter and the yard is fenced which is AWESOME especially for Siah.

We can SEE ourselves in this place for the next few years until the kids grow up and need more space.

We are praying that God would lead and direct us and we are willing to walk away, but we would LOVE to live in this place…if we had a say in it all.

And so….we wait…..hoping……

Lather, Rinse, Repeat

No, I’m not actually going to talk about hair or shampoo or anything like that, but really what was running through my mind was the stupid whine that seems to be on a looping track these days.

I’m so tired. We’re running around crazy busy. I never seem to have time or energy to do things that I like to do. We are commuting too many hours in a week. When will we buy a place in the BIG CITY? Will we actually be able to get a place in the BIG CITY? Whine! Whine! Whine! Moan! Moan! Moan! Snivel! Snivel! Snivel! and all that crap….

It seems to be all I’m saying these days, and I’m thinking that you have got to be at the very least as sick of hearing about it, as I am sick of whining about it.

And so….I’m gonna talk about something else.

I wanna talk about LOVE! Yup, Love.

See, I’ve been mulling a whole concept of “Unconditional Love” over and over and over in my brain….about as much as I’ve been whining about it, and so you know it’s quite a bit.

The concept of loving unconditionally in your life takes a RADICAL SHIFT of thinking….at least it does in mine.

Especially in the area of parenting.

You see, Since we became parents……12-13 years ago – we’ve done this sllllliiiiiide from one type of parenting to this whole completely different kind of parenting.

Before we were all about control. Control your children so that you can train them properly and then you’ll have good kids. Yell at them when they get outta line, spank them (it’s how we were raised), if they disobey, make sure that the punishment is so severe that they never want to even contemplate doing that thing again. And make sure that they know who is the boss….if they don’t respect you as being in control, then you’ve lost all hope of ever having a good kid…..

There was a lot of fear that we might “mess up” and somehow our kids would be wrecked or ruined and then it would all be our fault and we’d be these horrible bad parents and “Woe is us! We wrecked our kids! There is no hope for us or them!”

I know that’s a bit of an overkill reaction, but it’s kinda what we felt like.

Slowly……OH. SO. SLOWLY……there were aspects of that type of thinking that just didn’t sit well with us and we started to institute slow, tiny, itty-bitty, baby steps of changes. I think the first change was that we decided to not spank our kids any more. Not that we don’t believe that there shouldn’t be consistent discipline or that there shouldn’t be consequences for choices made, both positive and negative…..but we just didn’t see that “we” could justify “hitting” our children in anger or love or really for any reason. I never wanted to see the kids flinch when we raised our hands to them. We don’t want to see them shrink into a shell of themselves when a voice is raised at them. We don’t want their concept of us to be an angry, yelling, hurtful parent who is disappointed when they mess up and is only happy and approving when they “get it right”. We don’t want their concept to be that if they are “good” then we are happy and accepting; and if they are “bad” then we reject them until they “get it all together”.

We want to love our children and to be a safe place for them to grow and develop and to stretch their “wings”. We want them to RUN TO US not only when things are good, but especially when things are bad. We want for their concept of us to be that we love and accept them for WHO they are and not for what they DO. They can’t win or lose our love. Our love is UNCONDITIONAL…..is it FOREVER. We love them because they are our children. We just love them.

When we love unconditionally, we just accept that there are hard times and better times. There are things that they need to learn, and what better place to learn those things than within the boundaries of our love.

The whole unconditional love concept doesn’t mean that I just let my kids run wild and do whatever they want, and I just say….well, my love will make up for all the rude destructive behaviour and one day they’ll grow up to be productive successful contributing members of society. Nope! I’m still responsible to train these little ones. I’m more responsible the younger they area and as they grow older, my responsibilty for them lessens until they are confidently standing on their own and then I’m just their if they need me and ask for my help or advice.

But for now….they can learn through choices and consequences. Life is made up of choices and consequences and just about everything that we do in life is either a choice or a consequence. I can choose to speed, but I have to accept that if I speed, the consequence could be a $150 ticket at the least OR I could kill someone at the worst. Learning to make positive choices, means that I don’t want to kil anyone and so I choose to NOT speed because I don’t even want to deal with that consequence…..

But the whole idea of choices and consequences means that I don’t have to yell anymore….not that i’m not human and sometimes I go further than I can handle and then I get to apologize to my kids for yelling. I mean, if I want them to be respectful to me and to each other, do I not offer them respect as well. Lead by example, right? But take tonight for example…..we’ve talked about not yelling at each other. Talk respectfully. Treat each other the way that you’d want to be treated. But, tonight….that one didn’t go over so well.

The kids were helping to tidy the house and Xandra and Jeremy started to get a little frustrated at each other and instead of asking us for help with their dilemma or figuring out a way to communicate their needs and wants…it dissolved fairly quickly into Xandra screaming in a fit of rage that she “WASN’T SCREAMING AT YOU?” And so calmly I told them both to go to their rooms and get their jammies on as it was time for them to go to bed.

They dissolved into a sobbing mess, neither wanting to go to their rooms, but both heading their all the while crying about how sorry they were that they were yelling and that they wanted to stay up and help.

I calmly explained that I wasn’t angry, but that the consequence for screaming at each other disrespectfully was that their time helping in the family was over and they could just go to sleep. Xandra handled it a bit better than Jeremy and got her jammies on and piled into bed. Jeremy was a bit more upset and that’s normal as his brain doesn’t always grasp the situation quite the same way as the girls due to his own personal sturggles.

Just because he struggles doesn’t mean that he gets away with it. He still has to deal with the consequences that his choices bring to him. That’s life…that’s what life brings…that’s what he will have to deal with for the rest of his life. It’s better that the learn that now, where it’s safe within our love as opposed to learning it when he steps out on his own…..that would not be loving of us to just “set him loose to figure it out on his own”, would it?

And so, I went back to their rooms, and hugged them and explained how the situation could have gone differently. There are several different scenarios that they could have chosen, but their choice was to try and control the situation by force. In effect, they were beating each other with their words and their volume….not cool! They did “get it” and they went to bed. In case you were wondering, it was 7:30pm and by the time all was said and done and their lights were turned out it was 8pm, so it’s not like I sent them to bed at 5pm…

But the big thing….once upon a time….I would have yelled….and possibly screamed at them to exert my control and force over the situation. I would have used my words and volume to try and force them to do what I wanted. They have learned from me, and it’s going to take time to help them “un-learn” that way of dealing with situations. Fortunately, I have that time and I’m willing to take the time to help them learn new ways of dealing with different situations that come up.

My kids are still expected to be respectful of people and things. They are not allowed to just run wild. BUT…….I want them to know that above all else, they are loved and that they are loved because they are my children, and not because they are “doing” it right. I believe in them. I want the best for them. I will be cheering them on ans they make great decisions, and I will be here with open arms when they make choices that negatively affect them or those around them. I WILL LOVE THEM UNCONDITIONALLY!

More Ripples….

I don’t know if you remember, but fairly recently, I talked about how trauma can have some long term affects.

I was saddened and disappointed to see yet another wave rippling through the family this past weekend.

In some ways it’s a good thing (I’ll get to that) and yet it’s still so hard to see those you love hurting.

When we lost Nathaniel, each of us grieved very differently. I worried about Angelica the most through those sad, dark days because where Xandra was open and expressive with her grief – Geli really didn’t say too much. Yes, she cried (we all cried). Yes, she asked questions. Yes, she hugged and needed hugs; but there was a huge part of her that was quiet. It felt like she was grieving from about 20 percent of herself and that she had closed off and turned inside the rest of herself.

I knew that eventually she would talk and share and that as long as we kept the lines of communication open that she would eventually work through what she needed to work through.

Last week, Xandra was in my room and we were getting ready for the day and she sat down on my bed and said, “I really miss Nathaniel. It’s funny, mom. How can I miss someone that I never knew?” Man, that little girl has some deep, DEEP thoughts swirling around in side of her.

I said that I missed him, too. Then we talked about how she misses the idea of him. That she had already had a little brother and that she knows what it is to have a little brother and now with Siah being a baby – it makes that loss even more tangible as he can represent the baby brother that we didn’t get to have. Just like she always has, she grieved deeply and then rebounded and headed on her way to finish getting ready for the day.

I wondered what had reminded her of Nathaniel, as there hadn’t really been anything that stood out…..and then just like her – I let it go and continued to get ready.

Geli came into see me yesterday as we were trying to get ready for church. She put a project that she had been working on early this year onto my bathroom counter. They had to draw a self portrait and then write a poem about herself. One half of their face was a literal drawing and the other half was to be more symbolic. She did a great job of the project and got 100% on it.

I was quite surprised to see the poem, though, and will copy it here for you. It is probably the most open and honest that she’s been and there is a good chance that I’ll get her to work through her emotions this way a bit more in the future. This also explains a bit more about her, because she’s been holding all of this inside. It’s a HUGE LOAD for a little girl to be carrying and I was so happy to read the poem because it enabled us to have a really good talk about her emotions and feelings and fears. I was also so saddened by the poem because she has been carrying all this inside even though I’ve tried repeatedly to talk to her about Nathaniel and how it all affects her. It’s hard to think that she’s been scared for the past 4 years. That just hurts so bad. I wish I could take that pain and fear away and I know that I can’t and I also know that how she deals with all of this will help to define her as a person. I just hate to see my babies hurting.

Happy but Sad

I am happy but sad
I wonder how people live and die
I hear my brother talking to me
I see my brother walking to me after school
I want my brother who died
I am happy but sad

I pretend I still have my brother
I feel my brother sitting on my lap
I touch my brother
I worry that another sibling will die
I cry when I remember my brother, Nathaniel
I am happy but sad

I understand that things happen
I say Iâ€™m fineâ€¦â€¦butâ€¦.
I dream about my brother
I try not to think of Nathaniel too much
I hope that my other siblings will not die
I am happy but sad.

By Angelica
Age 11

Winter/Spring 2009

In the first paragraph she’s talking about Jeremy and Siah and Nathaiel…she not crazy and seeing Nathaniel…..just wanted to clear that up.

The line about hoping that none of the other brothers or sisters die…that one just gets me in the gut. I don’t want them to die either and I have these tiny little moments of irrational fear sometime. Mostly for Siah and then I have to go in and check on him to make sure that he’s still breathing. I hate that about myself. But, for the most part, I know that I cannot keep my kids from dying and I also know that I would survive and that I would carry on. I hate even thinking about that, and even more, I hate that I know that.

But, these are just the ripples of Nathaniel’s death still spreading out and touching us. I’m thankful that it’s not as intense as the early days, nor does it hit quite so hard as it did initially, but it still hurts…..for all of us.

Birthday Brunch or Lunch or Whatever

Tim organized a family party for himself for his 30th Birthday. Nice, eh?

I mean, we woulda gotten around to it in about a week or so, but he jumped right on that and we all headed out to a restaurant for brunch this past Saturday morning.

It was so nice to be able to get together and even nicer that everyone was able to be there.

We did have to deal with a last minute venue change as the original place couldn’t accommodate all 24 of us as they were already dealing with another party of 40 – YIKES! So…..White Spot in Walnut Grove so graciously fitted us into their back party room and that was awesome as we could be our noisy selves without worrying about bothering anyone. It also meant that the kids could waltz around a little without bothering anyone and that right there was a HUGE sanity saver as it meant that I could relax a little and not stress too much about what my monkeys were doing.

Aside: It’s a little weird/fun/exciting/strange to see Angelica sitting with the adults the whole time. Even though the age difference between her and Xani is only 15 months….she’s turning into a young lady and Xan is still a little girl, and today was the first time that was really evident.

By the time we all showed up and then actually ordered….our Brunch had turned into Lunch, but really, the best part is not the food – although we love our food. The best part is just getting to spend time together.

We had a lot of fun taking pictures….

Building Card Towers…..

We had a bit of a brawl to try and determine which is better the Blackberry or the iPhone….

It was just a really good time with the whole family.

You can click here to see the whole set….if you’d like.

A HUGE Shout out to Tim for organizing and arranging everything. Thanks for planning a great time for us to all get together. It was AMAZING, and I hope we don’t wait too long for the next one.

Happy Birthday, Little Big Brother!

Today is the day that my little brother turns 30!

Here he is….I ripped this off of Facebook….nice of me, eh? He’s looking pretty good for an old man. And that is his lovely girlfriend, Daisy with him….ain’t she pretty? Oh…yah…this is supposed to be all about Tim, isn’t it?

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Here is a little birthday greeting from the kids for Uncle Tim on the momentous occasion of his Birthday…..

If you’re friends with him on Facebook, go and leave him a message, or if you know his number, then text him, but if you don’t have either of those options available to you and you still know him from somewhere, somehow….please feel free to leave him a birthday greeting here.

Love ya tons, little bro. You are a great man. I hope this year is the best that you’ve ever had.

Great Start to the Week

I’m actually serious with that there title.

I woke up this morning and totally didn’t feel like I wanted to die. (I don’t really feel like I want to die, but I dread mornings with a passion that rivals nothing I know of)

I’ve been having a really hard time waking up over the past little bit bit. See, Siah was sleeping all the way through the night for a while. It was heavenly. I actually felt like a human being for a while. Then Siah got sick and was awake in the night and then he decided to get a whole bunch of teeth, which meant that he was awake MULTIPLE times a night and well…..things got really crazy for a bit.

I laid down with Jeremy last night at 8:30pm and……..went to sleep.

I coulda got up when he finally crashed, but I figured that the extra hours couldn’t hurt and they most definitely would help.

AND IT TOTALLY DID.

I woke up this morning and felt like I was actually ready to get up and out of bed. Got the kids ready without feeling like I was wearing a 50lb bag of sand attached to my back. It was amazing.

I actually did start this post this morning, but then the baby needed me and I had to get dressed (can you imagine that?) and then I ran out grocery shopping while the baby napped.

Got home, put everything away, and now I’m cooking some brown rice to have on hand for quick prep for the rest of the week as well as I got a huge hunk of ground beef that needed to be browned and separated into ready to use containers…they are happily cooking away on the stove and so I thought that I should probably finish this post..and let you know that I’ve got some pics up – if you wanna peek at them.

We went to the park last weekend and I’ve finally got the pictures up.

In the move from my PC to the Mac – I lost Adobe Creative Suite and it will be just a bit before we can buy another license. Jon’s got one on his computer, but I don’t feel like transfering all my photos over there and then tweaking them and then posting them because it’s just too much stinkin’ work.

I tried iPhoto and well, I don’t find that it’s quite the same and so I guess that I’ll just complain and moan until we get some new software.

Well, here are the pics….just click to go through to see them.

I hope you’re enjoying the sun today (if you’re local) and if not, well then I hope it’s sunny where you are? What is the weather doing where you are?

One or the Other

So, we had Geli’s 12 Year Sleep Over Birthday Party last night. I was a bit apprehensive as she had initially invited 10 girls and last we had heard 6-8 were going to show up. I was expecting CHAOS and NOISE to rule in our house last night.

Instead, 3 little girls showed up and only one was “allowed” to sleep over as the other had to be at a family function early the next morning and the other little girl had been grounded. So, Geli and her friend were in bed and asleep by midnight and then woke up at 6:30am.

Jon and I have been geeking out and setting up our new 13 inch Macbook Pros. He’s geeking and I’m just along for the ride….right?

We went to bed shortly after midnight and it was then, that all the fun started.

Jeremy came crying and stumbling into our room, moaning that he was barfing. He vomited on the carpet, on the bathroom floor and then finally made it to the sink where he continued along his merry barfing ways. In between heaves, he managed to inform us that he had also christened the main bathroom sink as well.

OH JOY!!!!!

I hate barf. With everything in me…..I would rather wash the toilet than deal with barf, and if you know me at all – you will know that the germaphobe in me despises the toilet and all it’s germ infested bits. So, seeing as Jon was dealing with the “bulk” of the mess in our room – I headed to the main bathroom to clean out the sink. Serious nastiness as I had to scoop the crap out with my hands……and well….I’ll just stop there. It was awful.

We got everything cleaned up – it took a while – and got Jerermy back in his own bed. I really didn’t want him in mine if he was going to barf again, and I was sure that he was going to have another go at it all. I was wired at this point and sent a quick text off to twitter about it all….I was seriously awake. I lay in bed for a while and then Siah woke up……he nursed and nursed and nursed and all the while popping off and on as…..he has a runny nose and can’t breathe. OH SO MUCH FUN!!!!

After who knows how long, Jon finally took him to try and settle him down and well….lets just say that it didn’t go over too well. Then Jeremy woke up again with more barf and then Siah woke up again, and between the two of them they tag teamed the night away.

The most amazing part is that they were both actually asleep from about 6:30am until 8am. That was SOOOOO nice. Who’da ever thought that I’d be grateful for an hour and a half of sleep, eh?

And then….when we finally crawled our tired bodies outta bed – we realized that we had NO COFFEE. Isn’t that horrid? We did find enough for one cup of coffee each in the back of the freezer, but Jon had to make a quick Starbucks run….mmmmmm, Heavenly!

We were supposed to go and have a nice family brunch with my family today and I was really looking forward o being together with everyone, but didn’t feel that it was fair to take my sick kid and expose everyone else to his germy goodness. So, we stayed at home.

This was both a HUGE DISAPPOINTMENT and a MAJOR BLESSING.

I really wanted to see my family, and we’ve been crazy busy. The forced down day today has been awesome. We just stayed in our jammies ALL DAY LONG. We’ve done absolutely nothing today. Watched a little hockey. Played on some computers. Fed the kids. And now, Jon is making dinner and then we are sending them all to bed.

I’m hoping that no one is sick tonight. I need a few straight hours of sleep. Mmmmmmmm, SLEEEEEEEEEP!

Mismash

So, I got a few things that I could talk about and really I have NO idea where to start.

I had really high hopes that I might be able to post everyday this month, and here we are only a week in and I’ve already blown it.

It’s okay! I’m not too upset. I’ll get over it. It’s not really that big of a deal, and I’m not really sure why I’m so fixated on trying o accomlish this…..*shrugs*

I’ve put some pictures up over in Flickr….one Saturday we went to Graville Island. It’s always so much fun. You can click on the picture to see the whole set.

This particular picture is of Jeremy kissing Aunty Amy. Amy is Jonathan’s psuedo adopted sister. We love her dearly and she’s getting married in ONE MONTH. SOOOOOOOOO EXCITING!

We had a great afternoon hanging out with family and checking out the little shops and taking pictures. It was a great day.

You can also check out this set of pictures that I took on that most fabulous sunny day. The kids were DESPERATE to play outside in the sun and they wanted to play on the slip ‘n slide. Again, just click on the picture to click through to see the whole set.

I’ve already gone on and on about the sun and sadly…there isno sun out today and that SUCKS!

Add into the mix that Jon and I are supposed to be going on our “lunch date” today, but he is barfing because he ate some samosas that I told him to not eat because I thought they would have gone bad and he “pooh poohed” me and well…..he’s barfing. So, that wrecks my day. Thanks so much, darling.

You can also check out the pics over here on Chris’s side of the world and well….if you were feeling so inclined or helpful or whatever…….you could help us out….Think about it? Huh. Huh. Please?!?

I’ve got to get ready for Geli’s 12 birthday party – a sleepover with a few of her school friends…..AAAAAAAAKKKKKK!

And actually, Geli has been practising for MONTHS for a musical that she’s in.

Her school is putting on BEAUTY and The Beast and we went and saw it last night. She did such a good job – she’s a knife – and I loved watching her be apart of something as BIG and FUN as this. It was an absolute blast. She had 13 people from our family out to watch her last night and tonight another 8 are going. She feels special and I hope that tonight goes really REALLY well.
Here are two pics of her in her maid costume after the spell has been broken and they are all “Human Again!” They are crappy pics because I dind’t have my camera – only my phone….

I do have a few things that I have to do today and so I can’t hang around here all day – much as I’d like to just chill and relax. Duty calls.

So, happy clicking!

Just Get Busy, Already!

I feel like I’m constantly encouraging my kids to stay focused when it comes to helping oout around the house.

I hate feeling like the weight of the house cleaning rests entirely on my shoudlers and I don’t feel like I’m doing my little “angels” (and I use the term loosly) any favors by “just doing it all for them” and so…….this means that I am constantly feeling like I’m trying to figure out a way to encourage them to do their part.

I jokingly typed the word “force” instead of encourage and then had to erase it because that is SO not what I’m trying to accomplish with my kids….and this leads me right into a whole ‘nuther topic with a whole ‘nuther post for ‘nuther day…remind me of this sometimes soon, eh?

So, We’ve tried charts and and points and we’ve even tried reasoning with them. Ha Ha HA HA HA HA! That one didn’t work so well – *shrugs* but I tried.

My mom read a book recently and was so excited to tell me all about this amazing system that she had found and how it was changing her life and that blah, blah, blah, blah de de blah blah blah…..

I tuned out about that point. I really don’t hold much hope for really exciting systems. Especially if I have no idea how they would possibly work with MY family and MY husband and MY kids…..and….who are we kidding…..ME!

So, Things were getting better as far as house cleaning and keeping things tidy and I was excited with the forward/upward momentum that my life seemed to be having. Especially seeing as I was now working outside the home 4 out of 7 days a week.

And then………oh and then……my baby decided that sleep was for wusses and the kids went on strike and the husband freaked out about work and money and time and blah, blah, blah – I tuned him out too after a bit – and I was so tired that I slipped a bit further behind and then even a bit more behind and then even a bit more behind and well……I ended up feeling like things were hopeless.

So I asked my mom for the book and well….it turned out that there might be some merit to the system after all.

I sat down on Thursday to start planning things out the way the book says to and really if I were honest with you all….I half expected that by the time the kids came home from school on Thursday afternoon – that the house would already be moving back towards where it should be. Ha Ha Ha Ha HA!

Two phone calls, and a lunch appt later and I had written down exactly 4 cards for my new system and the house was in no better shape than it had been that morning.

BUT…..I sat down after they got home and wrote and wrote and wrote and wrote and wrote. I must have filled in more than 200 cards, and I still think that I’ve got more cards to write up, but HEY! It’s a start.

And so I started using the system on Friday and it was okay!

This system by the Slob Sisters uses index cards to help you and one thing that they said in their book that has really hit me is that there is now way that I can get it ALL done right away but…..if I’ve done 4 or 5 cards, that is 4 or 5 jobs that I hadn’t previously done and I’m actually better off than if I had done nothing. So WIN, right?

You write up jobs on each card and label them daily jobs, weekly jobs, monthly jobs, seasonal jobs or yearly jobs….they can be anywhere in between there, but I’m shocked at how it seems so much more managable when you just finally file all your cards over the month and realize that while you might not get everything done right away….that you will eventually get caught up and things will definately be better off than you were.

The kids have bought into this whole idea….I’m actually combining the cards with points. If they complete the card they get a point….if they complete the card within the “approximated” time written on the card then they get two points.

Today we plowed through a TON of work in 3 hours and while there was a whole lot of “JUST GET BUSY’s” thrown around – somehow, somewhere it seemed to click that this was easy and managable and they could totally buy into this.

Jeremy even said to me, “Mom, did you see how many cards I’ve done. I never even knew that I could do this much work.”

He’s my BIGGEST whiner when it comes to helping out….followed closly by Geli who just doesn’t like to work – but to see how he was excited by this and how he felt that he could do this….

I can actually SEE this system working for us.

I love the fact that once I do a “monthly” job that I can remove the card from my pile and file it with next months cards. And once I do a job for the week…it goes into next week. It also helps with other things like appointments and remembering to bathe the kids regularly – as opposed to the whole, “Freak, you stink! When did you last take a shower? Do not pass go! Do not collect $200. Get your butt in that shower and get that funk off you.” system that we’ve been rocking recently. I can file Jeremy’s bath for Wednesday night and if I get the girls on opposite nights, then it’s not like we have a melt down because the hot water has run out.

I can really see this working, and I’ve even talked with the kids about helping me on Thursday this next week to get things done for this next week so that we can take Saturday off and just have a family day.

I’m sure that I’ll be updating on this, but….we may have found something that actually works. I seriously hope so. Regardless, my house is in WAY BETTER shape than it was this morning. It’s not perfect, and honestly I have a LONG way to go, but…..progress, baby! Progress!