Month: April 2010

Crossing Things Off My List

I have a list written down somewhere. Actually I have a few lists written down in a few different places, and well….can I find any of them right now…..NOPE!

I’m usually super organized and yet I’ve been feeling SO SCATTERED recently.

I think I’ve got too many things on my plate right now and yet…..that’s a post for another day and another time.

We’ve bought a crib set for each of our other kids. I figured that at the very least, I could save and one day pass on the comforter to each kid and that each child was unique and deserved something of their own….With each child I’ve had a harder and harder time choosing something that I really liked that wasn’t too over the top, gaudy or just down right ugly.

I did find a cute set for Siah and yet I wanted something different for this little one.

I decided to buy some fabric and to make some co-ordinating bedding and covers for this baby.

I’m not the worlds most amazing seamstress. My mother can make anything, even without a pattern, (She sewed my sister’s wedding dress and it was UNREAL! A massive hand beaded fairy tale princess dress!) and my sister has made and can make some of the most amazing things – clothing and toys. They can both sew like nobodies business. I can use my machine (barely) and I’ve made a few simple dresses for my girls when they were younger but I had to follow a pattern religiously.

I figured that most of what I wanted to do involved straight lines (I even have trouble with that sometimes) and that at the very least, I could give it a try. First hurdle….finding some fabric, that #1 went with my bedroom colors (as that is where the baby furniture is and where he’ll be rooming for most of the first year.) and #2 that I actually liked and #3 was appropriately boy-ish without being all balls and animals and primary colors. The second hurdle involved the fact that I had NO PATTERN to follow. I figured that at the very least I could try and if it turned out that bad, I’d rope my mother in to helping me.

Fortunately for me, and the family who has to live with me…….I’ve managed to start to pull it all together.

As of this past weekend, I’ve purchased some fabric…..

Fabric Pile

I’ve finished one crib sheet…..

Crib Sheet

and I finished one change pad cover……(I’m quite proud of this considering the rounded or scooped edges that I figured out how to do all on my own – YAH ME!)

Change Table

Here is a closer view…..

Change Pad

I’m almost finished the second change table cover and I still need to make another crib sheet. After that I have to make the bumper pads and the biggest project will be the quilt…. ACK! I’m a little nervous about that one.

My mom did come over to help me figure out how to “fit or secure” the cover and sheet underneath the pads and instead of using elastic, I’ve…..well…..I’ve no idea how to explain what I did. I basically sewed the bottom edge into a corner so there is a pocket for the corners to fit into. I have no idea if you understand and short of going and taking more pics…..which I don’t feel like doing right now….It’s all okay. It works and looks good and more importantly…..they fit perfectly and required no yelling, screaming or swearing.

I’m gonna finish the change table cover today and hopefully the second sheet too.

I think I might even take few minutes to sit down and actually write out a good list of everything that I really want to do before the baby comes and post it somewhere where It won’t get lost.

Oh, and you can see the color that we’ve painted our room in those pics of the change table. When we finish decorating, I’ll take some more pictures and show the whole thing, but for now…that’s a sneek peak!

Meal Planning Success

So, the weekend before last, the kids and I sat down and planned out two weeks of meals.

It worked out amazingly, as it always does BUT…having then get involved in choosing the meals did actually inspire them to help out even more. They pitched in on the meals that they personally chose and it made it much easier for me. YAH!

We managed to make it the ENTIRE WEEK without one restaurant/fast food/quick pick up meal that was AMAZING!

Not only did we eat healthy, but we managed to save a bit of extra money which is always a nice bonus AND….we sat down at the dinner table every night.

We try to do this most nights, but when tired, overwhelmed and running last minute for meals, there are times when we throw some crap food in front of the kids and turn a movie on the computer and let it entertain them for a bit.

It’s our sanity saver in rushed times….although, to know that with a little bit of planning we can avoid the rush and stress and also get in some great family time and conversation…..I like that much better.

This week the meal schedule is

Sunday: Roast Chicken, potatoes, carrots and asparagus with gravy and Yorkshire pudding

This was Geli’s birthday dinner and is her FAVORITE MEAL. Here’s a picture of the DELICIOUS MEAL before the gravy was smothered on….

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Monday: Ham, Pineapple & Veggie Kabob’s

We cooked these on the Bar-B-Que and they were every bit as delicious as they sound.

Tuesday: Fish and Rice with Kale

We had a little salmon and a little tilapia. I have some who don’t like one or the other and some who like both and so I usually just make a few pieces of each and then let the kids pick and choose.

Wednesday: Taco’s (Beans, Elk, Goat Cheese, Lettuce, Peppers, Soy Sour Cream, Salsa)

This is what was planned but as I posted about last night……even my best efforts at planning can get all bunged up by the amazing-ness that is ADD/ADHD. We had Mc Pukes for dinner!

Thursday: Bar-B-Que Chicken with potatoes and veggies
Friday: Homemade Pizza (for Geli’s Birthday Party)
Saturday: Steak & Potatoes and Salad
Sunday: Soup & Sandwiches

I’m hoping that aside from the mid week glitch, that we’ll be able to keep things moving forward and hopefully stress free (when it comes to dinner’s). I need to plan for the next few weeks to keep the momentum going.

What are your favorite “go to” meals? I’d love some new suggestions?

Screamfest 2010 – April Edition

I’m sitting here in the dark listening to my boys scream their heads off.

It’s AWESOME!

No really, It’s even better than awesome!

My boys are over tired and flipped out and for some reason they’ve decided to melt completely down. Both of them! At the same time! And Jon has taken the girls to a music practice and I’m alone with the screaming banshees. And it’s every bit as awesome as it sounds.

Well, what I haven’t shared is the back ground, and seeing as all i have is time right now…..let’s git ‘r done.

I went to my exercise class tonight and when I came home just after 5:30pm….there was nothing done for dinner. The girls had just left to pick something up from the store, but they were planning on stopping at the library on their way home. Jon was unbelievably on edge because Jeremy and him had clashed while trying to “do homework”. You’d think that Jon would be the most understanding of Jeremy and his struggles because they deal with the same issues…but if you’d think that….you’d be wrong. Jon gets easily frustrated with Jeremy which is terribly frustrating for me…..then everyone is frustrated. It’s so AWESOME!

*****the screaming is winding down in pitch……I give them another 10 minutes before they are completely SOUND asleep*****

So, I asked about dinner and mentioned the practice tonight and well….he’d totally forgotten and by that point is was too late to make dinner and so…….he ran to get McDonalds……YUCK! How nasty.

Jeremy was in top form tonight and egging Siah on like crazy. It was BRUTAL!

Then Jon and the girls left and the boys pretty much melted down and started crying and asking for a movie and wanting to sleep in my bed, and wanting to take a bath and wanting more food and wanting to play on the computer….and the list goes on and on and on and on. AAAAAWWWWWKKK!

I don’t even really remember the last half hour, except for the crying and pleading and begging and fighting to get jammies on and fighting to brush teeth (I gave up with Siah) and I put them in their beds and they have pretty much almost screamed themselves to sleep.

You only wish that you were in my shoes, I know. I’m not sure how I had the patience for all of this tonight. I didn’t scream or flip out or yell or anything. I just calmly herded them upstairs, put them in their pajamas, attempted to brush teeth, and when that didn’t work, I put them in their beds and sat down in the rocking chair in their room to kill some time.

It’s worked.

Both boys are sound asleep and I’ve got a few things to do so I’m off.

How is/was your Wednesday evening? Better than mine started out to be, I hope!?!

Baby Booties and a GIVEAWAY!!!

I’ve seen a few pictures here and there around the internet with the CUTEST little felt baby booties.

Most of them are for girls, but I’m having a boy. And so while I think they are absolutely darling…they are useless to me. Unfortunately, I don’t know anyone right now who is expecting a baby girl or I’d be making some of the cutest little shoes for them.

I was, however, thinking about my sisters and their baby boys and how tiny their little feet are and I found a SUPER EASY pattern for cloth or felt booties.

Last week, I had been cooped up in the house for most of a week and on Saturday afternoon – I ESCAPED! I went to the fabric store and bought a bunch of coordinating fabric that I am using to make some crib sheets, some change table covers, a set of bumper pads, and a crib quilt. After I’m done all of that, I have a few other projects that I’m considering (time allowing).

The fabric store closed and I wasn’t quite ready to head home yet, so I ran into Michaels. I didn’t really have anything in mind that I wanted to get, BUT…..I thought I’d just look around.

I found a package of felt in brown camo, blue camo and pink camo and I wondered if I could make some booties from them. After wasting a bit more time, I came home, printed out the pattern and started in on the project. It didn’t take very long and these cute little boy booties were finished. It says that they are a size 0-3 months and while I can’t imagine that they’d fit either of my nephews (just yet) – I do think that they’d fit in another few weeks. They aren’t huge, but they are a little bigger than tiny newborn size.

Boys Felt Booties

I whipped up (hand sewed) the first one of this pair yesterday on the way home from work and finished the second one after the boys went to bed. It is a fairly quick and easy project and one that could be modified with bows or buttons or a cute animal or shape cutout (similar to Robeez type shoes).

Girls Felt Booties

I don’t think that these would be strong enough to handle a walker, but for tiny babies….they’d cover the feet and look awfully cute. More like slippers, than shoes…..

I’m going to give away one of these pairs of booties.

If you win, you get to choose whether you want the pink ones or the brown ones….

To enter, leave a comment and Next Monday April 12th, I’ll randomly pick a winner.

LIttle Bit ‘O This and a Little Bit ‘O That

I’m sitting on the main level of my house killing time listening to my baby scream his head off because he,
“WAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNTTTTTSSSSSS MMMMMMOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMAAAAAAA!” and seeing as he is mostly over the whole measles thingy and I’m so tired of his incessant night waking, we have started to institute the

Back to Bed, Baby! Initiative.

This involves getting up every time he wakes up and putting him back in his own bed. He is in a bed, and so he can easily get out and the biggest issue that we have is not even him coming to our bed in the middle of the night.

The biggest issue is the fact that since the while measles thing, he’s been waking up around 11 or 12 and screaming for no reason that we can figure out. He is quite verbal (as in everyone who hears him speak can’t believe he’s only 2 years old) and his language skills are quite advanced and so if he so desired, he could tell us if there was an issue…..I think that he’s OVERTIRED and can’t even really handle himself. You should see the dark circles he’s currently sporting under his eyes. Poor Baby.

The 11-midnight scream fest comes in a close second in the frustration factor. The number one issue is that he’s decided that regardless of whether we let him sleep with us or if we put him back in to his own bed, around 2am, he wakes up and then is basically restless and awake from 2am until after 5am. This time usually involves TONS of thrashing around. Crying because the covers are on. Crying because the covers are off. Kicking mommy and daddy in the head/stomach/back/whatever happens to be closest to the thrashing feet. Crying because we won’t let him watch a movie. Crying because he wants to go to the bathroom. Crying because he doesn’t want to go to the bathroom. Basically, there is lots of crying and very little sleep.

And so, it is time to learn how to sleep again.

This likely means that we will get even less sleep over the next 3-4 nights as we sleep train him to stay asleep or at the very least, to once again stay on his bed. YUCK! but it will be so worth it by next weekend when we are all sleeping soundly. I hope I’ve not jinxed it by saying that.

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It was my baby girl’s 13th Birthday today. Angelica became a teenager today. I’m still a a bit amazed that I have a teenager and yet….it’s really not that different feeling from yesterday as she was quick to tell me. Time sure flies doesn’t it.

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Jon and Jeremy went to church today and Xani and Siah and I stayed home. Siah’s still officially within the contagious time period and Xani was coughing like a mad woman. We made coffee cake and an egg/hashbrown hash-type breakfast. We cleaned the kitchen and then sewed like crazy.

I’ll be showing you over the next little bit some of the fun things that I made. Xani made 2 pillows and she did a pretty good job, if I do say so myself.

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We’ve filled and hidden the kid’s Easter Baskets and tomorrow morning we’ll have a treasure hunt for the kids. They are looking forward to it and if it weren’t for Geli’s birthday being today we probably would have done them today, but I wanted to make her birthday special. We had her favorite meal of roast chicken, and potatoes, with carrots and asparagus and gravy AND…..Yorkshire Pudding. And she was a very happy girl. We’ve still not given her a gift or even had a cake so I’m not sure how special of a day it was, but ….well…….ya know……it’s the thought that counts, isn’t it?

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I’m still trying to come up with a fun activity for us to do as a family tomorrow……ya know, one that involves being trapped inside the house with a contagious child….ya! should be fun! It’s been a long LOOOOOOOOOONG week and I still have a few days left to go.

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The baby has been making the funniest movements. I’ve been bent over the sewing machine and apparently, he didn’t like being squished because he kept trying to streeeeeeeeeeeeetch out and kept kicking out the sides of my body towards my back. It felt so weird, and yet……….TOTALLY AMAZING. Baby movements are the best thing ever.

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Some people from our complex just had a stillborn at 24 weeks. One week shy of when Nathaniel was born. My heart os breaking for them and all they are going through right now. I only hope that I can, in some small way, reach out and be a support or comfort to them. I’m feeling stressed that I’m pregnant, though and am feeling cautious as to how that might make them feel. So many sad conflicting emotions. In some ways, it’s like reliving the whole loss over again. So SO sad!

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Well, after half an hour, it’s quiet and so I’m gonna sign off and head up stairs to bed. I hope you all had a great Easter Sunday with great food and hopefully lots of chocolate…….

28 weeks

The weeks are flying by. I feel like I just said that I have 13 weeks left and BAM! A whole week has passed by and I’m annoyed with myself that I’ve not “accomplished” anything on my “list of things to do before the baby comes”.

Recently I’ve painted my bedroom and my bathroom, BUT….I’m not finished the job. In my bedroom, I have to finish touching up the edges on two walls down by the baseboards and I need to finish up the trim in my bathroom as well. I have 2 small walls and around the shower and in a corner between my bathtub and a wall to finish touching up.

So, it’s not like I have a ton to do in either of those rooms, but the knowledge that it’s undone…..well, it’s weighing on me. Maybe I’ll try to get it finished up tomorrow……or maybe not.

I also want to paint a mini-crib that I’ll be using. I need to sand it, prime it and paint it. Then I need to pick up some fabric and make some sheets, a bumper and a blanket. I also want to make a few coordinating (with the crib set) covers for the change table.

I still need to get some curtains for my bedroom and to figure out what (art, photo, picture, etc) we are going to put on our walls. I also need to find a bed spread that fits in with the color and feel of my bedroom (not hard…I can just do all white or some combo of white, tan, chocolate and turquoise).

I do need to go through my baby stuff and figure out what I might need and what I want and to start to stock up on some of the disposable items.

Seeing how fast this past week flew by, I know that if I blink – then next thing I know I’ll be holding my baby and nothing will be done. Which, in the grand scheme of things is not the end of the world and I know that. Everything will eventually get done and even if it doesn’t, the baby will still come and we will make do and it will all be okay. BUT….I want to get all this stuff done – if I can!

Here is a picture of me from yesterday.

28 weeks side

For a fun comparison, Here is a picture of me at 27 weeks (it was either that or the next one I have is at 30 weeks) pregnant with Josiah.

27 weeks smile

On another note, I’m having a bit of a “Fat Day”. I just feel gross and fat and awful about myself.

I’m sure that I’ll change my thinking soon. I do weigh more than I did at this point with Josiah, but that’s because I had spent 3 months losing weight and prepping my body to be pregnant when I got pregnant with Siah. With this pregnancy, I was attempting to lose weight and to get healthy, but there were no plans of a baby anywhere in those plans.

I’ve been exercising during this pregnancy and for the most part, I feel amazing about myself. Yes, I know that I am at a heavier weight than I’d like to be, but I am WAY more fit and I’m certain that I have built muscle and that once I can work a bit harder at “losing” weight that I’ll be able to attain a better, more suitable goal for myself.

I do spend a total of 6 hours a week in a too revealing exercise outfit in front of floor to ceiling mirrors and have come to love my body (for the most part) over the past 8 months. I rarely have “bad” days in regards to my body image and I used to have a TON of them. I see how I have changed and toned and tightened and I am mostly happy with myself. I see beauty where I didn’t ever think that I’d see beauty – fat, stretch marks, double chins, under arm flab and all.

And then today…..I saw some pictures of myself working out and then took these pics and while I know that pics do show the truth, they often show a side of the truth and that the full, moving view of myself is different than a still shot, but….still……I guess I’m feeling sensitive today.

I’m determined that I’m going to throw off this funk and feel beautiful about myself again. I’m worth believing in myself and seeing the strength and beauty in my personal shape and form. I want to live like that for myself and to be able to pass that belief onto my girls especially, but also, I want for my boys to be able to see that I believe in my own strength and beauty and for them to be able to find and see beauty in everyone………28 weeks pregnant and all.

Measles Hits Close to Home

My baby (won’t be able to say that for much longer) has the measles.

Earlier this week, we noticed that he had a bit of a rash on his hands and by that evening it was on his stomach and back. By the next morning, he was pretty much covered in this red, slightly raised not really itchy, rash.

That was his only symptom.

100_5670There was no preceding cough, cold or conjunctivitis (pink eye). He hadn’t had the 3-4 days of wicked high fever. Aside from the rash, there was absolutely nothing else to indicate any specific disease, virus or allergic reaction. He wasn’t even really acting any different than normal. He was eating, and sleeping (about as poorly as he normally does) and drinking. He might have been a bit fussier, but seriously – he’s two and the “fuss factor” can erupt for any reason at any time.

I googled, and googled and googled some more. I haven’t got my Google Medical Degree from just sitting around on my butt doing nothing, y’all. (Ha Ha!!) The results that I came up with loosely pointed to some random viral rash, Measles, German Measles or possibly some weird form of Hand-Foot-and-Mouth Disease (which based on previous experience with HFM disease – I had pretty much ruled that one out.)

I honestly figured it was some viral rash (of which measles actually is – a virus, not a bacteria – that is) and that it’d disappear in a day or two. I’d taken some of my other kids in to the Dr when they were younger for rashes and got the whole….you don’t need to stress out over every rash and cough. It’s just viral….Chill out and it’ll run it’s course in a couple of days.

I mean it wasn’t said exactly like that, but that was the general gist of the message.

And considering that Siah wasn’t SICK! I just waited.

By the 3rd day (we were at home all this time) he had a bit of a fever, and seemed achy and one eye looked a bit red (but no gunk – thank goodness) and he had managed to cough a grand total of twice.

100_5674The thing that kicked it over the edge for me, were news reports of a measles outbreak in the Metro Vancouver area.

Awesome!

So we called our family Dr and had a nice phone chat. His professional opinion is that Siah has measles. Even though the symptoms are out of the “normal order” he still has enough of the symptoms and combined with the recent outbreak – SHAZAM! He gets the measles diagnoses!

Obviously, this means one of two things. Either Siah’s not been vaccinated for the MMR or he’s only had one of his vaccinations and is one of the unlucky ones that still needed the booster to provide complete immunity.

In this case, it’s the first one.

I’m not usually one to talk too much about controversial things as I don’t like to argue and fight about personal decisions. I will gladly talk with anyone who asks about our personal family choices and the reasons as to why we make those personal family choices. I NEVER make decisions without absolutely plowing through massive amounts of information (from a variety of sources, not necessarily Google – Google is just a diagnostic tool! (that was supposed to be funny)), and using BOTH the positive and negative information to round out my decision. I don’t typically go just searching to prove my viewpoint…..that’s useless as far as I’m concerned. I also try really hard to not judge others for their personal choices. I feel that I am not living in their shoes and can not possibly know all the details, emotions and nuances leading up to their decisions and that really when it comes down to it…..I get to make choices that I believe are best for my children and my family. Others also have that same freedom. I’d like to be given respect for the choices I make even if they are not agreed with or understood and so, in turn, I also need to give that same respect to others regardless of whether they make the same choices that I make or ones that are completely different. I actually don’t EXPECT that others will make the same choices that I do. I hope that others make the best choices for them.

I understand that there are risks associated with not being vaccinated and if you were to ask me, I’d talk about our experiences with vaccinating Jeremy and what happened with him. My girls are vaccinated and aside from 2 vaccinations that I declined at the grade 6 offering they are current and up to date with their vaccinations.

If you were to ask me about vaccinations and whether I am for or against them. Considering that Siah currently has measles and at 2.5 years old hasn’t received his MMR yet, you might think that I’m against vaccinations. You might be surprised to learn that I do agree with vaccinations and that I see the benefits in having and “using” them. I also think that I need to take our personal history and experience into the mix and make the BEST choice for our family. If I were to give myself a vaccination type label – I’d say that we delay and select vaccines, we don’t completely avoid them.

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pics of Siah from this morning

Obviously, we got the measles from somewhere. Do I have any idea where? Nope! Absolutely no clue! Do I even really care? No! I’m not even interested in finding out. It makes no difference to me where it came from or who passed it on. I am not mad at whoever passed it on or even really annoyed. The fact of the matter is that Siah has measles. He is currently cooped up at home until next week sometime and we are just chilling and taking it easy. It’s done! He has them and no amount of stressing on my part will change anything. Once we pass this week, it will be over and done with and he will be as immune as the other kids.

What about the time period before we knew that Siah had measles, when we might have possibly passed it around to others? Well, I’m not happy about that (who wants to contribute to others getting sick), but again – it’s a non-factor for those who choose to vaccinate AND it’s one of the things that is a possibility for those who chose to either not vaccinate or to delay vaccinations. I knew that was a risk and I had to be willing to deal with that risk when I made my choices. It is just one of the MANY things that needs to be thought through when you are making your decision. Obviously, we ended up dealing with one of the risk factors of our choices and while I’m not thrilled about Siah getting measles; It is what it is and we, in a sense, “chose” that this might be a possibility….which obviously has then turned into a certainty.

If you’re interested in sharing, I do love hearing how and why others chose to come to their personal family decisions regardless of whether they differ from ours or are similar. I love learning more about people and the experiences that lead to their decisions. I’m not going to change my decision and I’m not looking to change anyone else’s decision. This is just another record of what’s going on in and with our family. That’s what this blog is….a record of our lives and a place for me to share what we are going through.

My thoughts on a big family

**Post by Jon

It seems that I have posted enough times to earn the status of ‘regular’ poster, so I get to just post now without having to make the **Guest Post** disclaimer.

When I got married and the subject of kids and family came up, I said that I would like to have two kids and play it by ear from there (by which I meant that after having two kids, I should have enough evidence to convince you that “your goal of having four kids was a bit crazy over-the-top.) Patti wanted four kids. That seemed to make sense as we each wanted families that were similar to the ones that we came from; Patti came from a family with five kids and I came from a family of two boys. The other thought in all of this is that we got married young, figured that we would have kids when we were young, and when they grew up and moved out, we would still be relatively young.

So we had a wonderful girl that grew up too quick, and then another wonderful girl that enjoyed being a baby a bit longer, and as far as I was concerned, I was in heaven. But I was also ignorant about being a dad, especially to girls. To say that I “learned on them” is an understatement. But I also have to admit that this was fun and rewarding in ways that I never could have understood on the other side of non-parenthood.

Then came the first boy. (It seems that playing it “by ear” means that you keep having kids if there is no proof that Patti is crazy) Boy children are different than girl children. Each child added personality, emotion and “fullness” to our family. At this point I was convinced that having four was not going to be a bad thing or that much different than having three.

Then we lost a pregnancy. To be accurate, we lost Nathaniel. We lost getting to know him, and I personally lost the picture that was in my head that included two young boys running around together and being brothers. I had come to know what fatherhood meant and had come to anticipate and look forward to the different stages of life and growth. I knew from the most recent ultrasound that it was a boy, we had already picked names, and I knew “Exactly” what life was going to look like a year from then, two years, five years, etc. I lost that.

Then we lost a few more pregnancies, but nothing compared to losing Nathaniel. Then we had Siah. This was good, not a replacement, but a good note to end on; a good ending to our child-bearing chapter. But the picture was different then. I could see two brothers that loved each other, with one in high-school as the other starts elementary. I could see Siah missing out on the siblings in the same school and walking to school together, and the fun of growing up like that. Experience had also taught me that you can’t plan how any story will end, or even how a pregnancy will fare, so if you asked me if I wanted any more kids, I would have (and probably did say) that I didn’t.

But my emotions were more conflicted than that, and Patti wasn’t sure that she was done, and after all that we’ve been through, this is a decision that we will make together. So I sat by waiting for her to realize that this tiredness and effort was enough and that we were done, and as she took so long thinking about it, my emotions started to melt my logic and soon I was saying that I wouldn’t mind having another one. Finally Patti decided that she was tired enough and that she was done (though I am sure that was as conflicted as me.) We talked one night and both of us agreed that four was the magic number.

The truth is that I wanted to see two siblings growing up together and if it got any longer, then there would be a gap that would make that difficult and my full answer would have been, “If we are not pregnant right NOW, then I don’t think that I would want to try again”. Turns out that we were pregnant right then.

The other night I sat at the dinner table and leaned back in my chair and quietly watched the chaos. The kids were laughing at each other, goofing around, being a little gross and inappropriate. There were skirmishes, some yelling, some politeness, and a few inside-jokes (en Francé). I was watching family… my family. I was watching life interact with life on an intimate and exponential level. From 13 year-old to 2 year-old, everyone had a place and influenced everyone else. I thought about the reality of having one more… a boy brother for Siah, no less! I can see it.

I love big family and I am thrilled that there is one more coming to exponentially increase who we are.

But 5 is definitely enough… I think.