Special Days – Page 7

Happy Birthday, Xandra Janelle!

It’s Xandra’s 11th Birthday today.

Wow! Does time ever fly by? It’s hard to believe that this little girl has grown up so fast.

She was my BABY. I wanted a baby and had Geli and all she wanted to do was to grow up so SO fast. So I got pregnant with Alexandra 6 months after Angelica was born and she was ALL BABY, ALL THE TIME!

In fact, Xandra was still a baby LOOOOONG after Jeremy was born.

She still wanted to be held and carried and packed around like a baby. She did for a long time.

I remember us talking about how she was in her own little word. I thought that was just her personality….turns out she just couldn’t see and all those hours spent talking to herself as she sat 2 inches away from the mirror were probably her way of connecting with actual people instead of moving and shifting blobs….

I remember the Dr talking to us about how poor her eye sight actually was. It’s amazing she is as well adjusted as she is and now, her eye sight is fairly well…..not perfect, but perfect with glasses and honestly, the Dr wasn’t even sure that we could pull that much off. So we are so thankful for how far she’s come.

The school was even talking to us about autism in Grade One…..got the girl some glasses and turns out that not only is she not autistic, but that she’s above average. Who woulda thunk it?

She is happy and bubbly and has the most amazing personality. She is soft and gentle followed with a quick wit and acid temper if she is crossed. She is the most amazing set of contradictions and I love her. She makes me laugh and cry and wonder how I was so blessed to have been a part of bringing her into this world.

She is growing up so fast. Faster than Geli is… in some ways…..it’s scarey. I’m not sure if it’s her friends this year or just her inquisitive personality, but she’s so interested in fashion and all things “girly” and even boys…..

One thing we have in our favor is that we can and do talk about so much. She has unending questions and while I might not always have the answers, we can at least go searching for those answers together and hand in hand we will find answers to all the questions she has.

She is growing up to be a gorgeous woman inside and out and while she still has some time yet…I often catch glimpses of the woman she will become and my heart swells with pride and love and joy…..but mostly love.

Happy 11th Birthday, my sweet bunny!

Mismash

So, I got a few things that I could talk about and really I have NO idea where to start.

I had really high hopes that I might be able to post everyday this month, and here we are only a week in and I’ve already blown it.

It’s okay! I’m not too upset. I’ll get over it. It’s not really that big of a deal, and I’m not really sure why I’m so fixated on trying o accomlish this…..*shrugs*

I’ve put some pictures up over in Flickr….one Saturday we went to Graville Island. It’s always so much fun. You can click on the picture to see the whole set.

This particular picture is of Jeremy kissing Aunty Amy. Amy is Jonathan’s psuedo adopted sister. We love her dearly and she’s getting married in ONE MONTH. SOOOOOOOOO EXCITING!

We had a great afternoon hanging out with family and checking out the little shops and taking pictures. It was a great day.

You can also check out this set of pictures that I took on that most fabulous sunny day. The kids were DESPERATE to play outside in the sun and they wanted to play on the slip ‘n slide. Again, just click on the picture to click through to see the whole set.

I’ve already gone on and on about the sun and sadly…there isno sun out today and that SUCKS!

Add into the mix that Jon and I are supposed to be going on our “lunch date” today, but he is barfing because he ate some samosas that I told him to not eat because I thought they would have gone bad and he “pooh poohed” me and well…..he’s barfing. So, that wrecks my day. Thanks so much, darling.

You can also check out the pics over here on Chris’s side of the world and well….if you were feeling so inclined or helpful or whatever…….you could help us out….Think about it? Huh. Huh. Please?!?

I’ve got to get ready for Geli’s 12 birthday party – a sleepover with a few of her school friends…..AAAAAAAAKKKKKK!

And actually, Geli has been practising for MONTHS for a musical that she’s in.

Her school is putting on BEAUTY and The Beast and we went and saw it last night. She did such a good job – she’s a knife – and I loved watching her be apart of something as BIG and FUN as this. It was an absolute blast. She had 13 people from our family out to watch her last night and tonight another 8 are going. She feels special and I hope that tonight goes really REALLY well.
Here are two pics of her in her maid costume after the spell has been broken and they are all “Human Again!” They are crappy pics because I dind’t have my camera – only my phone….

I do have a few things that I have to do today and so I can’t hang around here all day – much as I’d like to just chill and relax. Duty calls.

So, happy clicking!

Un-Official Snow Day

I went to work yesterday in sandals and didn’t wear or even take a jacket. Now, I was wearing this scarf (in a dark red), but……as lovely as it is, it’s not quite the same as a coat.

So, as I was saying….I left the house dressed for spring. It was a raining just a little, but reallly not too bad. I didn’t even put a coat on Siah as I figured that we wouldn’t be outside (underground parking) and so, if I didn’t have to drag more stuff around……BONUS!

During the afternoon, it started snowing. By the time I was ready to leave work, it was FREEZING COLD! To walk across the breezeway was BRUTAL! It was SO COLD!

I headed home and it took me over an hour and half. One car had made it into the ditch, but mostly the delay was due to all the people TERRIFIED by the skiff of snow on the ground. Now, I will admit that by the time I made it out to Abbotsford, even I was slipping a little – but I did make it home safetly.

This morning, the kids were desperatly hoping for a snow day, and I was desperatly hopinig that there wouldn’t be one, and when the first child pulled up the district website and read the news….~~there was cheering from the mom and dad’s bedroom~~ the disappointment was so think you could almost taste it.

The kids did manage to pull themselves together and get themselves ready for school, and at the last minute, Jon turns to me and whispers if we shouldn’t just keep them home today. I just about sucker punched him then and there because what it sounded like he was saying was,

“How about if I tell the kids they can stay home all day and get into everything that you are trying to do with your day at home? They will create more mess than a bunch of stay cats, and I will go down into my hole of an office and leave you to deal with all the hassle of everything, but I will look like the good guy and they will love me because I suggested that they get the day off? What do you think?”

I gave him the “one raised eyebrow look” that says more than words could say and he said that he would in fact help out with the kids and not just leave it all on me.

And so……..the kids got a snow day today!

They are so excited and it’s some exta special time that we are getting to spend with them which I think is awesome because we’ve been SOOOOO busy with my working and all the travel and with our Sunday’s being a work day instead of a family day and so……today is a nice bonus in the middle of everything. Not something planned, but something appreciated and treasured and just grabbed a hold of and enjoyed.

We even took some pictures, as it was Siah’s official first time out playing in the snow.

Just click on the picture to go through to Flickr to see the whole set.

Starting the Year Off Right

ILast night I was SO EXCITED because today was the first day back at school for the kids.

BUT………even though it’s the first Day of School for the New Year……..it’s a freakin’ snow day!

Can you believe it?

Because I sure can’t. I mean, I was thrilled that I got a little bit of a sleep in, BUT….when I woke up at 7:45am and FREAKED OUT because we were going to be late – that was not so nice. But, after being told that it was in fact a snow day and after my heart moved back out of my throat…

Well, then I didn’t know what to think. On one hand there was no running around trying to get everyone off to school, BUT…..on the other hand – everyone is home for the day!

I was SOOOOOOO looking forward to the day without all the kids and to be able to clean up the house and to get a TON of stuff accomplished – Yah NOT!

So, I will be wrangling the kids into helping out today and that might just encourage them enough to head outside and play for a good long time.

The snow this year has been AMAZING. And I love it that my kids are getting the opportunity to have some “real snow time”. So often, we get just a skiff of snow and it’s hardly even enough to make a snowball, and then it washes away within the day.

I remember getting a big dump of snow similar to this one when I was about 12 years old living in North Vancouver and we all thought it was the best things ever. In fact, I think that the private school that I went to even cancelled for one day, and that was a miracle because it was NEVER cancelled – not for any reason.

So, like I was saying, I love that my kids are able to get out and really enjoy the snow. It is sure making for a fun winter and some great memories.

Do you have snow this winter? Have you got any good memories of snowy times in your past? Have you been able to make any great memories this year?

Falling Off the Face of the Planet

Hey! How’s it going? Did ya miss me?

It’s been a busy, crazy, wonderful, terrible weekend.

How ’bout you?

On Friday we went over to my sisters house for a fun night with friends….Saturday night Siah was up from midnight until 3am barfing – although this time I think it might be the flu. I finally got to bed around 4am (so much fun). Sunday we had Thanksgiving with my side of the family and on Monday we had Thanksgiving with Jon’s side of the family. Today, Angelica is downstairs in her room barfing.

IT’S BEEN AWESOME!

I also spent more this weekend than I probably should have. SUCKS, eh?

Well, it breaks down like this….

Entertainment (this could have totally not happened- Bad, bad, bad!) – $90.79
Gas (We got $22.02 free gas – YAH Superstore!) – $78.31
Groceries (Thanksgiving extras included) – $250.90

So that’s were it stands and the total for the month is $650.35. AAAAAWWWWK!

I’m gonna try and reign it all in again this week- get things back on track! It’s a good eye opener for me to see it all laid out here and to have to be accountable to you all. It’s just “keeping it all real“, eh?

Thanks to Cool Mama and Lala for your comments. I appreciate your honesty.

I had never even thought about the “guilt” side of it. It’s amazing how we view things through our own “grids”…through our own struggles and strengths and pain and….and…..well, it’s just interesting to hear that you felt or feel that way. I never got that message from the book, but then again for me…it wasn’t exactly about the “book” per se as about what I took away from it all after reading the book. I guess that’s more the case…the book made me think, and I got really exited about what I was thinking or feeling that I could do or feeling stirred up to do.

Regardless, I love hearing what you all are thinking. I love to hear different points of views. I think that when you are able to hear what others are saying, it helps to “round out” your views or even to challenge or strengthen your beliefs and convictions.

I am feeling rushed and pressured today because I have to go and help out at the school at lunch time today, and that just throws my whole day off just slightly….just enough to make me feel rushed. So, I think I’m gonna wrap this up for now.

I’ll leave you with my two most favorite moments from this weekend.

#1 My dad tearing up when we (the family) gave him and mom their anniversary gift – an overnight trip to Harrison Hot Springs

#2 My dad telling the story about the time that he hooked Grandpa Kennedy in the nose with a fish hook when they were fishing and the hilarity that ensued as a result. He (and we) were laughing so hard as he was retelling the 40 year old story. It was amazing.

What was YOUR most favorite moment from this weekend?

I Could Hardly Wait

I was so excited that today was the first day of school, and now that it’s finally here……I really, really, REALLY can’t wait for tomorrow.

See, today is just a teaser. I had kids that couldn’t sleep last night, they were so excited that they were going to go to school tomorrow, and when I woke up to feed the baby at 4am – I found a middle sized child alseep in the floor in the hallway. Lovely, eh?

No, it wasn’t sleep walking or sleeping or whatever you want to call it. She had a whole bed of blankets and pillows all laid out. Whatever she did obviously took some planning and effort on her part, and she must have done it AFTER we went to bed around 10:30pm or so…little goof ball!

I am SO excited that it’s fall. This always seems like the beginning of a year. It’s like I get two new years…one in the fall, and the normal one in January. Do you feel like that, too?

Anyway, I was talking about today, and how I was so excited, but really it’s just a joke, because the kids are all home before lunch time. SERIOUSLY! Who planned this? Not a parent, obviously! Mind you, I don’t deal with separation anxiety and so I have no crying children wanting to be with me and no crying parents wanting to be with the children.

So, I am thrilled with my quiet moments this morning, and then will be even MORE thrilled with my quiet day tomorrow.

I think Siah is thrilled for the quiet too. It’s been a bit of a “maulled” summer. Siah has been a GIANT DOLL, and while that can be fun for the older kids….yah…not so much for the baby or the mom.

Well, I’m off to make the most of my “quiet time” They’ll be ready for pick up, WAY TOO SOON!

Second Chances

Siah’s sleeping and I’ve showered and I think I have a few moments to blather on and on and on.

I love the feeling of being connected through my laptop, and at the same time I hate it.

I’m trying to find balance in my life and sometimes it seems so difficult. I’m at home – by choice – and as much as I can handle being “alone” for longer periods than some others can; I still need contact, and sometimes it comes in the form of this website and sometimes it comes in the form of on-line friendships that I started 4 years ago and sometimes it comes from “in person” friendships and sometimes it comes through family. There are different ways to connect and different levels to connect on, and again, I try to find balance.

Balance, balance, balance, schmalance!

I’ve been just “playing” with Siah. Building block towers for the sole purpose of him being able to knock them over. I barely get one made and it’s demolished. I have made literally hundreds of these towers over the past little while; and while I build, I have time to think.

I didn’t do as much “playing” with the other three kids. I was younger and more naive and maybe a bit lazy and definately tired and I was just trying to survive. Once Xandra came along and I was forced to stay at home more and “do” less things, I often regretted not just enjoying the one on one time that I had with Geli. I took it for granted and I would never get that time back.

I’ve been given a second chance (of sorts). The 3 older kids are all in school and I have a full day at home to just enjoy and appreciate the time that I have with my baby. I could clean the house. I could craft. I could go shopping. I could go out with friends. I could blog. I could just waste time on the Internet. I could do so many things, and I do……BUT, I am enjoying my baby. I am just sitting with him and reading him books. I am rocking him in his room and nursing him without multi-tasking. I nap when he goes down for a nap – from time to time.

I’m trying to really enjoy this second chance. This chance to just enjoy and live without letting life pass me by so fast.

It also makes me think about the whole rest of my life and trying to enjoy and grab every last bit out of everything that I do. Really think about what things are important…..really think about what things are going to stick with me in the long run and which things just really don’t matter, short term and long term….I want to be there for my kids – right now. This is a one time deal….I don’t get this time back again. I’m trying to make the most of what’s in front of me right now.

Balance…it all comes back to balance.

I’m so grateful for second chances.

and just because… here’s a video of Siah laughing hysterically.

Water Rats

We went into White Rock on Wednesday to see some friends of ours, and to have fish ‘n chips and to visit down at the beach.

They have 4 girls, and we have 4 kids so between the two families that is…..YUP…..8 kids. Wow, we really took that whole “Be Fruitful and Multiply” thing to heart, eh?

Here, you can see 5 of the kids, and the baby’s head….the two older girls were sitting at their OWN table AWAY from the LITTLE KIDS!

We went to a cute little resaurant – Moby Dick’s – with, obviously, a whale/sea theme, and it was pretty cute, except that when we sat down, we were overwhelmed by the BRUTAL stench of the toilets. Now, I don’t like to cause a scene, but I was willing to get up and leave even though we were already seated and ordering drinks because IT. WAS. SO. BAD!

We did end up asking if we could go out to the patio and when we got out there – the patio was just basicallly big enough for the 12 of us, and so it was awesome private dining.

The food was delicious – going down – but after about half an hour felt like CRAP in my stomach. We don’t eat a lot of fried food, and so this is a BRUTAL amount of grease to subject out systems too. But, like I said…..DELICIOUS going down…

We sat around and ate and talked and ate and talked some more until they very blatently started hurying us along and Honestly, we had JUST finished our meal and it wasn’t like the inside of the restaurant was full, so I’m not sure what the deal was.

Regardless, it was so nice to sit and chat with our good friends. We’ve missed them tons. These are the type of friends that are “life-long friends” I’ve been friends with Lala for our ENTIRE lives, and we’ve known the men since we were 14/15/16 years old. We have the kind of friendship that we “just love”. If we’re close, then we get together. If we’re not so close, then we call or e-mail….or not! There is no pressure, there are no hurt feelings…and even if it’s been a while since we’ve talked, it always just falls right back into that comfortable talk about anything kinda space. No Judgements or pressure – just friendship, acceptance and love….it’s not very often – if ever – that you will find yoursaelf with friends like these, and I am so thankful and grateful to have you guys in our lives. You mean more to us than you could possibly know and so much more than I could ever explain in words.

After dinner we headed out to the beach, and even though it was a grey and overcast day, the kids were DESPERATE to play on the beach, and once down on the beach, the water was just too enticing, and so they had to wade, and well…..once they were in wading…..you just have to swim, and SWIM THEY DID.

We could hear them screaming and splashing around in the freezing cold ocean water, but they were just having so much fun together. I LOVE White Rock Beach because it jsut spreads on and on and on and on and the kids can go WAY out and you can still see them, and it’s shallow for them to be able to play in, and SOOOOO SANDY!

They have a few more days down here on the Coast, and then they are headed back up North, and I’ll miss them, BUT….I’ll see them soon, and it will be as if we were never apart.

Remembering…..

So, it’s Mother’s Day, eh?

It’s such a tough day for so many; for some it’s just another day, and for others, it is truly a day to celebrate.

I fall into all three of those categories – How about you?

This morning got off to a bit of a rough start. Jon was tired and a bit of a bag as he ever-so-slowly woke up, and was not happy to be awake. This is something I struggle with…my issue, not his….he doesn’t think through and process his emotions very well when he’s tired…there is no sense of social niceties, and often times it really rubs me the wrong way, because I do try to watch what I say and how I say it even when I’m tired, and so……well…lets just leave this one at that….He grouched at me this morning.

Then, in my efforts to try and find something that didn’t make me feel frumpy and fat – stupid Joe clothes – I tried on a vintage dress that I thought was fairly cute, and Jon told me that I looked fat and that it was ugly….now to be fair to him, he didn’t say those words exactly, but that was the gist of what he was politely saying…see he was more awake at this point.

So, I tried on all the rest of the clothes in my closet and drawers and settled on a nasty “blah” outfit.

Then we were on our way for the day…..the rest of the morning was okay, I guess. See, we’ve not done a ton in the past few years just because we’ve not had the extra finances to splurge for things like Mother’s Day or Father’s Day or Birthdays or Anniversary’s…the special days. We might have a meal after the kids go to bed or something like that, but we’ve not made a big deal out of the “special” days. So, this year really wasn’t any different from the past few except that we went and took Jon’s mom out for lunch…tis also meant that we were taking me out for lunch as well…YAH!

Now, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about all the babies I lost. 4 of them….it started with Nathaniel (Jan 05) and then Jesse (July 05) – who Jeremy lovingly named TANK, which always cracks me up because I imagine one tough little rugged, solid, chubby girl whenever I think of that – the there was Julia (March 06) – she was my tiniest little girl, we actually got to see her, and that helped and hurt all at the same time….I was coping so well with the loss (not really, I was just shutting down and ignoring everything) until circumstances actually allowed us to see her – they are so tiny at 12 weeks along, but look just perfect. The last baby, I named Joshua (Aug 06).

In December of 2006 we found out that we were expecting again, and while so excited – I really wasn’t certain if I’d be able to actually hold and cuddle a live baby. This Mother’s Day is the first one since Jan 2005 that I haven’t absolutely dreaded the day. It felt so disrespectful to my living children to be so sad on Mother’s Day, and yet it felt so disrespectful to be happy on Mother’s Day, and really, I had no idea if I would ever get another chance to be a mother to a brand new baby. Those were a very tough couple of years.

It’s still difficult.

But today, I also though of my Dad. His mom died of cancer in July 2001. He and my mom went and celebrated Mother’s Day with her mom……that must be hard. It’s nice to remember all the good times, but still hard when your mom is not around anymore and there is a whole day dedicated to Mom’s and your’s is no longer around.

I also thought of those people who don’t know who their real mother’s are or who have a strained relationship with their mother or who (hopefully) have mother figures in their lives……

I do hope that all of you had a Mother’s Day full of memories…and whether they are good or bad….you’re here and that means that someone brought you into this world and hopefully you are thankful to be here.

I know that I’m thankful. I love you, Momma!

I’m thankful for my Mom’s. I’m thankful for my children. I’m thankful for those ladies who have poured love and wisdom into me. I’m thankful for my Grandmothers.

Today I remember and I’m thankful.

Gotta Teach That Kid to Whisper

We went to a wedding today.Â the first one we’ve been to in a looooooong time.Â I guess all out friends got married around the same time, and now we are seeing the next generation have at it, or maybe it’s just that we don’t have a lot of young singles in our church.

Anyway, we all got dressed up this morning and that in itself was a hoot seeing as most of what we own is bought at Superstore from the Joe collection for under $5…gotta love those cheap t-shirts.

Â The bride and groom looked like babies, beautiful, lovely young babies, but babies none the less, made me feel terribly old with my 4 kids and all dressed up so “Mom” like….

They ceremony was nice too, not too short and lot too long, but try keeping a 9 month old quiet and also one little wriggly 7 year old still and quiet…it’s a recipe for a disaster.

We were most of the way through the ceremony and this couple had decided that the first act they would do as a couple was to wash each other’s feet as a sign of respect and love.

It’s not my cup of tea, but that has a lot to do with the fact that I CAN’T STAND FEET!

Baby feet are okay,and my kids feet (once they’ve been washed, I mean REALLY washed) are okay, sometimes, but most of the time – I have a foot aversion that starts somewhere about the time that baby’s turn into small children, and the feet get dirty and stinky and just plain yucky.

Well, who knew that you could pass a foot aversion on to your children, because as the bride knelt in a loving act of respect towards her new husband and gently while gazing adoringly into his eyes removes his shoe and sock from his right foot………Jeremy rather loudly whispers, “She’s touching his foot……THAT IS SO DISGUSTING.”

This was said loud enough that the grooms brother who happened to be sitting across the aisle from us and 3 rows back…..busts a gut stifleing his laughter…he is doing the whole “lips pressed together, red faced, shoulder jiggling, clutching his sides, trying to hold himself together” thing.

It was awesome….that’s my boy.Â Of course, we looked at him and told him to not be rude and to try to whisper a little quiter, but truth be told, I was thinking the same thing, and trying to imagine myself doing that to Jon and well……I just couldn’t go there…..FEET!Â Yuck!