That’s How Strong My Love Is

This was an e-mail sent from my sister Debbie to Angelica. I’ve asked both of them for permission to share it with you.

So, I had an appointment to get a perm this weekend. I’ve always wanted some wave in my straw-like, straight hair, so I thought it might be a fun thing to do for the summer. I didn’t realize Geli’s hair loss was coming on this soon.

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When Geli first was going thru this whole cancer process, I told my husband that I would want to shave my head when the time came for Geli to do it. In my mind, I can’t imagine having to go thru everything that she is going thru and not even having a choice about it. At least I could choose to loose my hair. But when the time came, I was a lot more nervous than I expected. Would those around me still think I was beautiful, would my husband still want to hold me, would my infant son still recognize me…I know how I look in a swim cap and SEXY definitely comes to mind. (NOT!) But, it is just hair. And…I have the choice.

My beautiful niece, you did not choose this path, but you are weathering it beautifully in your own unique way. Geli, you have always been a “walk to the beat of your own drum” kind of girl. You makes crazy cool fashion choices, and you aren’t swayed too much by the hype of most teens today.

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As an adult, with all my grown up-ness,reasoning and “maturity”, I still have fears or concerns. I can’t imagine what it would be like to experience this as a teen. But again, it’s just hair. And…I have the choice, you didn’t.

Geli, when you were a baby, I taught you to scream for joy when you saw someone you loved (much to the delight of your mom). Sweetheart, now you teach me to scream out for those I love. Whether it’s screaming out prayers of injustice or encouragement, or screaming out fears or shrieks of joy. I guess i want you to know that in the same moments we can scream out for joy, we can be screaming out for fear or pain as well. And that’s OK.

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Geli, I want to walk this road with you as much as I can. But when it comes down to it, this is your journey. We stand along the way with you cheering you on. Sometimes we walk a bit with you, sometimes someone like your mom or dad carries you, and sometimes you are on your own. But in this crazy act, we join you.

I guess, Geli, by supporting you this way,I want to let you know that you are loved, beautiful, gorgeous, talented, and that you are brave and valiant. And in all your strength, it’s OK sometimes to feel nervous or some fear. Because we make the choice not to live in that fear. And we know that perfect love cast out all fear, and Geli you are surround by “perfect love”…and a whole lot of our love too!

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Needless to say, I called the salon to cancel the perm. 🙂

peace.
love.
shalom.

Aunty Bubbie

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That’s How Strong My Love Is

If I was the sun way up there
I’d go with love most everywhere
I’ll be the moon when the sun goes down
Just to let you know that I’m still around

That’s how strong my love is, oh
That’s how strong my love is,
That’s how strong my love is, baby, baby,
That’s how strong my love is.

I’ll be the weeping willow drowning in my tears
You can go swimming when you’re here
I’ll be the rainbow when the sun is gone
Wrap you in my colors and keep you warm

That’s how strong my love is, darling,
That’s how strong my love is, baby,
That’s how strong my love is, oooh,
That’s how strong my love is.

I’ll be the ocean so deep and wide
I’ll get out the tears whenever you cry,
I’ll be the breeze after the storm is gone
To dry your eyes and love you warm

That’s how strong my love is, baby,
That’s how strong my love is,
That’s how strong my love is, darling,
That’s how strong my love is,

That’s how strong my love is, so deep in,
Well, that’s how strong my love is
So much love, yes so much love, oohh,
Yes so much love, yes so much love,
Anything that I can do, I’ll be good for you,
Any kind of love you want, I’ll be with you….

One of these things is not like the others

“One of these things is not like the others” was my favorite Sesame Street song.  You have a choice of three or four things, and one of them doesn’t fit the pattern for some reason. Well some people following our family have noticed that everyone is bald, except dad (that would be me).  (And Jeremy is excluded from this if he wants to be).

I just wanted to set a few people at ease as to why I still sport my nice long locks. We have shaved quite a few heads over here, and there are quite a few more pictures to show of people who have joined in, and one tear-jerking email that we will post from one of the shaved that explains why they are doing it. During all the festivities, Gelica informed me that she didn’t want me to shave my head.

I like my hair, but its not the most important thing in the world to me, and it doesn’t even compare to the importance of Angelica. I sat down later and talked to Angelica about what her thoughts were and what all this means to her. The different people that are cutting their hair means a lot to her. She is learning about how people care for each other, how people “join” in standing with her, and a host of other valuable life lessons, but she is starting to realize that EVERYTHING is changing.

That’s an interesting thought, because in a lot of ways for her, everything has changed. There are many things in her life that will never be the same. There are days when all the change is too much… not many days, but some, and right now, she doesn’t want me to change.

Spending this past month or so with her so close, through so many trying things has brought us closer together than I ever could have expected. I am really really really in love with my daughter and am really enjoying all of the wonderful things that make her soooo strong and able to face this. We have our own inside jokes, learned each others opinions, and many more things that will last a life-time.

If she wants one thing to remain “constant” and she sees that in my appearance, then I am all for that. But in the spring when everyone else’s hair is growing out and things are returning to a new normal, there is a fund-raiser called “balding for dollars” and I’ll probably be there. I have been assured that I would raise a lot of money being a guy with long hair. I also realize that we have benefited from so many programs and special funds that if I can give back then, then I will.

Jon

The First Cut is the Deepest

Well, yesterday was a momentous day in our house.

We had the first ever head shaving party.

When Geli was diagnosed with Leukemia, the Doctors and Nurses had mentioned that Angelica might lose her hair as a side effect of the chemotherapy. She seemed to be okay with that, but then…it hadn’t happened yet and so we figured that we’d just deal with it, if and when it happened.

Well, Geli managed to make it all the way through the first month before her hair started to thin and then….it started to thin quite rapidly.

The biggest issue was the hair falling out and sticking to her body. You know that feeling when you’ve got a stray hair stuck to your back and you can’t quite get it off….now imagine 50 hairs all over your arms and back and neck and inside your shirt….not fun eh?

And so, yesterday I asked Angelica if she’d like to shave my head so that she could see what it would look like, if she were to shave her head…and she said yes!

So, we grabbed the buzzers, took a picture to show the “before”……

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….then we cut the pony tail off….

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……and then started shaving….

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We had lots of help…..

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Lots and LOTS of help….probably more than we really needed,but hey! Gotta pay attention to the details, right?

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And then we moved on to Angelica….

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And Siah decided that he wanted to get in on the action…

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But trying to shaving a moving target……

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Well, lets jut say that his head shave is a little less than perfect…

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We finally remembered to take a good shot of Momma and Geli…

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Xani came home after dinner and decided she wanted in on the action…

So, here was the before shot…

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And here we are after it’s all done…

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And later on, Papa came over to join in…

Here we are listening to him ask for just a little off the edges…

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We figured while we were at it, we might as well see what Papa would look like with a little male pattern baldness…

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We needed to rock star it out a little…..

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Here is the official Head Shot…

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But…..the best part of the whole day AND night was when Pap put on this wig….

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And watching him do the head shake and hand flick made it apparently obvious that he’s had long hair in the past….

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He looked like he’d just stepped out of the Coast Capital Banking Commercial….it was AWESOME!

We had a good day with lots of laughter and although it could have been a tough day….I think it turned out okay.

We will be adding pictures of Nana Karen, and Aunty Chelle as soon as download them off the camera….they came over this morning to add their beauty to the mix……

Everyone looks so beautiful……its amazing how much stock you put in things like hair, but to see that hair only adds to your beauty…it doesn’t make or define you as beautiful…..Beauty is who you are!

How many oncologists does it take…

First off, I’ve been dreading the Wednesday meeting.  We are supposed to go in and meet with the oncologist in charge of our case and discuss the results of the last marrow biopsy and spinal fluid biopsy.  Results of greater than 0.1% leukemia cells would get us another two weeks of induction and 0.1% or less would take us to phase 2 of the treatment.  I have been a pillar of faith through most of this, knowing and believing in the outcome even if Angelica and I (and the rest of our family) have to walk it out, but we’ve had so many unexpected bad experiences so far that I kind of knew what the results were going to be… we were for sure gonna have two more weeks of induction.

Enter Monday Morning… Patti comes down the stairs as I am thinking about making coffee and says, Angelica has an infected toe.  It was an ingrown toenail that had developed some redness and puss.  A quick phone call to confirm… they want to see her at the clinic at Children’s.  No fever, No other symptoms, but we head off to Children’s without coffee… and this all seems so ridiculous because we have to come in on Wednesday anyway for our meeting.

With a suppressed immune system, any infection can spread unchecked and any infection could be fatal, so even a toenail gets thoroughly checked out.  At one point the three most senior oncologists that were in the clinic that day were all in our exam room looking at her toe… at which point I wanted to start a round of jokes with: “How many oncologists does it take to treat an ingrown toenail?”

They decided to double check her blood counts and prescribed some antibiotic pills that she can take at home and as soon as we got the results back from the blood and the script got filled, we could go home.  This was amazing to hear, because I was sure they were going to tell me that she needed to stay for a couple days.

While we were waiting for the script to get filled, our ‘coordinating nurse’ came in all excited and said “Has Tim come and seen you yet, the marrow results are in?” (Tim is our senior onc)  We were not expecting that they would be in till at least Tuesday.  I said no and she informed me with great delight that Geli was MRD negative and then left the room.  While I was happy that she was happy, it took me a second on my blackberry to google the possible definitions of “MRD“.  It stands for Minimal Residual Disease.  So to be MRD Negative means that there is not even a minimal amount of the leukemia cells in her marrow.  It means that she is at 0.00% leukemia cells in her marrow.

A little aside here… There are at least four stages of leukemia treatment in youths.  The first stage is getting to MRD negative or at least a low number MRD.  Kind of like a baseball inning that does not end till the third out, they keep treating until the desired result is met.  This means that we can go on to stage 2 and greatly increases her odds of never having a relapse. The other thing to note is that leukemia is mainly active in the marrow of the bones, but it can “hide” in lymph nodes, liver and a host of other places.  The next stages are designed to “flush” it out and get rid of it in everywhere it is known to hide.  So there are various drugs, and various chemo treatments that are administered in a specific order.

This news was a bit of a blessing, because it took what I was preparing to be a negative meeting and completely derailed it.  Now we know what to expect, there is nothing to “brace” ourselves for, there is no Wednesday meeting to decide… it is all laid out and planned.  At this stage of the process and our family and our lives, having some variables removed is WONDERFUL.  There is chemo and there are side-effects that come with the various stages, but at least we know when they are coming and what to do to prepare for them.  This road doesn’t become easier, just a lot more planned out.

We asked for prayer for the Wednesday meeting, for good results, for God’s hand and His peace on us.  God has been on today, right from the beginning of getting us in there with a toenail. (and we did come home and she is feeling better) Thanks to everyone for the prayers and support.

Jon

Safety Matters

Yesterday (Saturday) was a pretty boring day.

After the chaos of the past month, this is not a bad thing, but it also leave you feeling a little lost, as you try to fill the time and space and “come down” from the stress and attempt to figure out some “new normals”.

That’s a lot of quotation marks, but that’s a little how life feels right now…..punctuated by pauses (………) and “quotation marks”.

Angelica had a bit of a better day emotionally, although she’s had a pretty brutal headache for the past 2 days. On Friday it was her back that was bothering her terribly and now she’s had a brutal, brutal headache. I’m wondering if her back is out and we are going to try to book an appointment with our chiropractor for Monday to see if that will help her. It’s so hard to watch her be in pain and to not know how to help her. Because Tylenol can mask a fever, and basically fever is how her body will manifest an infection, we are not supposed to give her Tylenol and so we called in to Children’s today and they are getting her some Codeine. We’re hoping this will help alleviate the pain, and also help her to enjoy herself a little. Because of the pain, she’s been basically laying down and sleeping. I’m not so upset that she’s catching up on some sleep, but it’s hard to see her so “down” or “low” and I’d love to see her cheerful and enjoying herself again. It’s so hard to watch your children hurt.

We did have one moment yesterday that managed to break the monotony of our day….

Josiah has been climbing the counters recently…well, he’s been doing it for a while, but just recently with Geli and the baby requiring a bit more supervision – he’s managed to actually scale the counters and one day Jon found him up on the very top of the cupboards. Not cool!

Jon found these very nifty locks at Children’s Hospital and bought one to “try” at home. He figured that if it worked, we’d just pick up a few more the next time we were there.

He and Jeremy installed it on Friday evening…..I hate it. It’s a magnet lock. There is a magnetic key and the locking mechanism. You install the locking mechanism into your cupboard and once it’s closed, unless you have the magnetic key, you cannot get inside. We decided to keep the key in the cupboard above the pantry (that has the lock installed in it.) That way it was close enough to get at, but Siah couldn’t get it.

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You need to have both hands free to open the lock and then you have to remember to put the key back up in the cupboard where it gets stored.

We had one scare where I thought I had locked the key “inside” the pantry, but after a few moments of panic, we found it over on the counter.

Yesterday though, we really did lock it into the pantry and we did not have one magnet strong enough to open the lock. The key doesn’t feel like it’s a very strong magnet and yet….surprise, surprise IT IS!

We tried EVERY magnet we own and NOTHING worked. Some were almost strong enough and we could hear the lock clicking but nothing was actually strong enough to actually unlock the stupid thing.

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Finally Jeremy googled and found out that there is a SUPER STRONG magnet inside a Hard Drive and Jon had an old one of those kicking around……amazingly enough, it worked….

Here you can see the little white key sitting on top of the spaghetti sauce jar!

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The locks are currently flicked into the “unlocked” position while we try to figure out what we’re going to do going forward. At the very least, we had some entertainment on our boring Saturday!

The Waves Roll In

Today is the day after the Bone Marrow Biopsy and the Lumbar Puncture and today is a bit of a rough day emotionally for Angelica.

She’s mostly held it together for the past 28 days, but today the waves of emotion have crashed over top of her and she is finding today difficult. Lots of tears, lots of feeling, lots of emotion…..just too much of everything!

On top of the emotional side of things, she is in quite a bit of pain from the Bone Marrow Biopsy, AND….she managed to tweak her back in the car on the way home yesteday.

Today is a bit of a rough day and that’s putting it lightly.

Unexpected Surprise

On Tuesday, Gelica’s counts were too low.  She had a fissure and there was only a slim chance that she would come home, even this weekend.  Yesterday morning, the oncology doctors came in for their usual daily visit and reported that the nurses were not showing any signs of the fissure in her “specimens”, and that her counts were coming up nicely.  There was a short discussion between various specialists, and they came back in the room to inform us that…

There was no reason for us to stay any longer.  There was a procedure for this morning, but we could do that as an out-patient. So…

Gelica packed up the room basically by herself as I talked to a few specialists and doctors to make sure we had everything for going home.  We got our discharge orders, took three trips to the car to load everything in, and then CAME HOME!!!!

We had dinner as a family and hung out as a family. I played with the boys and sung them to sleep. I tucked two sisters into bed and prayed for them.  Patti sat and nursed Judah while I did one load of dishes.  It was the most normal of household activities and it was wonderful.  Patti and I slept in the same bed for the first time in a month.

Gelica and I did have to go back to Children’s today through rush hour traffic and it was worth it.  We had to go through the outpatient routine for the first time, and it was still worth it.  Doing this together as a family is WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY better.  Thank you to everyone that has been praying that the numbers would go in the right direction, and that the fissure would go away.  That is exactly what happened and a couple days ahead of what we were told, and this is the first time that something has happened ahead of schedule.

Thank you God!!!

Jon

Brutal Honesty

I’ve been really struggling with this whole situation.

The whole “my daughter has been diagnosed with cancer and has been in the hospital for a month and we’ve had a baby and lived apart as a family and…..”the list just continues on and on and on and on…..

I think the biggest thing that I struggle with is believing that God “can” heal Geli but questioning and struggling with believing that He’s going to come through for me this time….for her….for us…our family.

There I said it….yup….just being honest….I’m a real person. I’m not so strong. I don’t have it all together. In fact, I’m not sure I have any of it together. I’m just working on breathing one breath at a time most days…and most times right now even that seems difficult.

I know that God heals. I know that many have been healed miraculously and some have been healed with the help of the medical system and yet in spite all of that, I feel so unsure that it might happen for us.

I think this is “my” journey in all of this…….somewhere between trusting and dealing with massive fear….

I’m struggling to find even a mustard seed amount of faith in all of this.

I had a son. He died. I know that he didn’t have to die. I believe that God could have allowed different circumstances to happen in our lives and yet I know that through it all, He walked with us. He comforted us. He carried us. I don’t believe for one minute that He did that (or this) to us. I believe that we live in a world where bad things happen and that He will love, carry and comfort us through the bad things in life. I also believe that He will help good things to happen out of the bad things that come up in our lives.

I also believe that He has the power to “protect us”……..?

and yet……..I dunno…….

I just don’t understand why we’ve gone through the hard things in our lives and why He’s allowed these things to happen.

(Those stupid why’s again……)

I don’t WANT to have to “deal” or “walk through” these things.

I don’t want to be “strong enough” to overcome these situations and circumstances.

I just want my healthy family back together and for all of this to go away. And….I know it’s not gonna happen.

I think of the “process” and it’s such a long process and it overwhelms me. I’m tired. I’m hurting. I’m scared. I’m stressed.

I’m having horrible dreams where my other children are getting seriously hurt or injured and waking up like that is a brutal, BRUTAL way to wake up, let alone waking up to the reality at hand.

I had a bit of a cry the other night. It was “The Ugly Cry – the light version”….. I was in the hospital room, in the dark…and I was so disappointed that we weren’t coming home and going to be together again and I’d been fighting the tears all day. I didn’t want to scare or bother Geli and so I was laying there sobbing silently into my pillow. I call it “The Ugly Cry – the light version” because with “The Ugly Cry” there is typically a lot of noise, amazing amounts of snot and tears, huge volumes of kleenex or at the very least sleeves and shirt bottoms involved and massively, MASSIVE puffy eyes at the end…..well, I was trying to be silent, had no kleenex, did have the snot and tears and when I woke up at 3:30 the next morning and went to the toilet….the beast in the mirror had the HUGEST PUFFIEST EYES and so……”The Ugly Cry – the light version”.

Apparently it relieved a little bit of the pressure, as the next day when the dr came in to tell me that Geli wouldn’t be going home until after Friday….I was okay. Not good, but okay enough to not fall apart in front of him…..

Listening to him didn’t really help my confusion and frustration as he basically said that Geli has pretty much hit the worse case scenario in every step of this journey so far…

Best case, she should have been home within the first week of being at the hospital…and yet she’s pretty much hit every complication that she could have. He’s concerned that following that track record that she might not have cleared the cancer cells by the biopsy this Thursday and may have to continue on this initial course of treatment for another two weeks….which they couldn’t even continue on with if her counts stay so low…..

It’s just has so far appeared to be a bad to worse case….I don’t want to hear that.

I don’t want to hear that he’s concerned or thinking the worse case scenario in regards to Gelica.

I want the best to happen and yet I’m scared.

I’ve been disappointed and let down in the past and this is where I need help……

I need ones to stand beside me and to speak out the positive and to believe for me and with me when my faith is low. I’m already bashing or knocking myself for having doubts and that just makes me feel worse about everything. I don’t need anyone to tell me how I “should be feeling” or what I “should believe”. Believe me, I know…….I KNOW!

And yet, this is where I’m at today….maybe I’ll be stronger tomorrow, but….things are hard right now for me….I’m not speaking for Jon or Geli or anyone else….just me.

I appreciate all your prayers and faith and belief. I want to see the absolute best for my daughter and my family. I want to believe it with every fiber of my being. I’m trying so hard. I know it “can” happen….I guess I just want assurance that it will happen. I’m just finding all of that to be a bit hard right now…..

And….I’m tired. I’m so SO tired. I don’t know where or how to find the strength that seems to be required of me in this situation. I feel like I’m too close to the end of my rope. I don’t know when things will “get better” or ease up a little and allow us to feel like we can catch our breath. It just feels like too much all at once with no chance to breath. Between Geli and her health and the hospital stay, the baby, being apart from the kids, worrying about the kids, being with the kids, being apart from Jon, being over tired, work……just everything….I feel like I’m drowning and I so desperately need things to stabilize so that we can catch our breath and re-group. I’ve gone beyond running on fumes and yet I see no end in sight…..and…..and…..and I don’t even know what to say or where to go from here or even how to end this……..

It’s just where I’m at right now…..I’m so tired and worn down.

Firsts and Traditions Carried On

It’s been a tradition since April 4th, 1997.

That is the day that Angelica was born and when Jon gave Geli her first bath.

Some wise man talked to Jon about giving the babies their baths as it was a way that “he” could bond with his babies..ya know, seeing as he didn’t have boobs and wasn’t able to bond with them the same way that I could…..

And so, he jumped right in there and he did most, if not all of the baths for our kid when they were babies…..I find the baths to be a bit scarey as the babies are a bit like rubbery wet noodles……

This whole situation has required some give and take on our part and while we’ve been separated as a family for almost month…..some things are too important and can have the extra effort given to make them happen.

And so,getting back to the whole first bath business….

I had to beat the nurses at BC Women’s Hospital back with a stick as they kept offering to get a bath for me to bathe Judah in and I wanted to give Jon the opportunity to give Judah his first bath. (I didn’t really have to beat them off, but they did offer a bath a few times and I very politely declined.)

This last Thursday, on Judah’s 2 week birthday we were at home all together and we whipped out the baby bath and Jon was able to carry on the tradition……HOOOOOORAY!

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Judah’s a pretty chilled out little dude and I wondered how he was going to handle his first bath. All of our kids have had different reactions to the bath. Some loving it, some hating it, some screaming the entire time and some just going to sleep in the middle of the bath.

Judah just stayed pretty true to his nature and just laid there all relaxed while Jon bathed him. No screaming, no flailing, no startling, not bothered at all, one bit……

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It was a bit of a family affair. I think that if Jeremy had been able to fit that he would have jumped into the bath with the baby. All of our kids are quite the water bugs now and if Judah’s first bath is any indication – he seems like he’ll fit in with the rest of the family quite nicely.

I’m just glad that we were able to carry on this little tradition. It’s not that big of a deal, but sometimes it’s the little things that make a difference. I know that Jon was happy that we were able to make this “first” happen.

A Little Catch Up……with pictures

You might think that caring for a newborn in a hospital shouldn’t be that difficult and well….its not difficult – it’s just challenging.

Either I hold him or I put him down on my cot or Geli holds him, but really I don’t like to let him cry or fuss too much as I don’t want to bother the nurses or any of the other patients on the ward and so the majority of the time…..I’m holding Judah.

Which, to be honest, I’m not too upset about, but it really means that there is almost nothing that I can get done that requires 2 hands…..but I am getting really good at doing mostly everything with one hand…..mostly everything. Somethings just require focus and concentration and we’ll just leave it at that………

About 2 weeks ago, Angelica did something to her left hamstring and it spasm-ed and pulled all tight and totally confused the Dr’s and nurses and physio-therapists……everyone was wondering if it was something related to the chemo meds, but in the long run…we’re thinking muscle spasm as it’s been able to be worked out…..mostly!

The physio-therapist came and suggested some exercises…..this was about as far as she could bend it….

As Far as it Will Bend

And so as not to hurt it more and so that she wouldn’t torque her body trying to compensate for the hurt leg, they suggested she use crutches for a while….

Up on Crutches

I will admit that I was a bit worried as she had been kind of dragging the leg like it was dead or like she was the Hunchback of Notre Dame…..but the crutches have been given back and aside from a little bit of tightness which she is working on stretching out….it’s almost as good as new. We are so thankful that wasn’t a big deal.

The nurses here seem to be so amazed at how independent and responsible that Geli is. She is really taking responsibility for her own health in so many ways and gets up and makes her own meals when she is hungry….that’s the one that seems to really amaze people. I just figured that it was normal for a 13 year old girl to know how to cook…..seems normal to me, anyway?!?

She made perogies the other day….her favorite, but because her body is currently in a diabetic state – they are not something she can have very often…which is very sad!

Perogies

Most of the time when I have to run to the toilet….Geli holds Judah and is typically able to get him to settle down if he’s a bit fussy. She’s an AMAZING big sister….

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Last Thursday was the first time that we had all been home together as a family of seven….since our lives changed on June 16th…..it was so nice to all be together, even if only for a few hours.

Headed Home (in the van)

Headed Home in the Van…Dad had run to Starbucks quickly!

Geli really wanted to have a barbeque lunch and asked that we pick up some chips because you can’t have a barbeque without chips…..

Making Lunch

Making Lunch

She took her portion and then Siah claimed the rest of the bag as his own and valiantly fought off having to share with the other kids….little brat!!!

Eating Chips

Jeremy worked on keeping things real by parking his butt in front of the Computer pretty much the whole time….

Watching a Movie

I don’t know how we missed out on Xani, but she was there….I promise!

and Nana got in some sweet baby cuddles….It was a pretty hot day….hence the naked baby!

Snuggles with Nana

The time flew by WAY TOO FAST and we hd to head back into the hospital. It was so nice to “BE” together in the comfort of our own home…..and hopefully we’ll be back together again very soon!

And now, my littlest baby is starting to fuss and I must go and get him….