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New Years Eve Update

Judah wanted to wish you all a Happy New Years Eve Day…..

This year has been so full of both good and bad: and while we are SO ready to move beyond the bad….we are so thankful for the good. And, really, that’s life, isn’t it? You must take the good with the bad and move forward. Having said that, we are really looking forward to a New Year. And we are expecting GOOD THINGS, in this New Year. We are looking forward to what 2011 has in store for us as a family and as individuals. Are you?

I thought we could end the year with an update on how Geli and the family are doing and then I will start the New Year on a whole different note.

This is a picture of Angelica on December 23rd. She is just trying to finish up one aspect of her sibling/cousin presents that she left until last minute, but I’m just excited that she was able to make her own gifts this year. Can you see her hair? At this point, she had some hair that was about 2-3 inches long. That was the hair that didn’t fall out at the beginning of the treatment. It was pretty sparse, but it was fairly long (for her) and it’s been growing since the head shaving party in July. The really exciting part was that under that sparse layer of hair there is a WHOLE TON of hair about 1 inch long that is coming in under all the long sparse stuff. It seemed like overnight she went from really thin hair to POOF….this whole “under” layer of hair that filled in all the holes. It was pretty cool. The not cool part…..she just went through a round of Chemo that is expected to make the hair fall out again.

We figured that seeing as her hair was expected to fall out within the next little bit, we might as well have some fun with it while it lasted.

She chose a color that she’s used before. It’s a very cool Dark Blue/Black color. To look straight at her, it looks black; but when the light hits her the right way, it’s VERY blue.

You can see some of the blue-ish color in this next photo.

It was kinda fun to do something that was out of the ordinary and something that we would have done before she was diagnosed. She had very funky hair for Christmas. Right after Christmas, like on Boxing Day, we noticed that her hair was starting to fall out. There was TONS of blue/black hair in her bed, on her clothes, on the couch, on the baby, on me…pretty much everywhere.

I will probably be shaving my hair in the next few days. I waffle between wishing I wasn’t going to and not really caring because it’s just hair and being thankful because my hair’s at an awkward length right now where I have to do it everyday or else I look like a massive Q-Tip….it’s cute (or not). And, I realize that all of those thoughts to some degree of less must go through her head as well, and that’s part of the reason why I would join her in this way.

This is a picture of Geli from this morning. I’m not sure if you can tell, but her hair has thinned out quite a bit. At this point, it looks like all of the “original” hair has fallen out and some of the new hair seems to be falling out as well. We’re not sure exactly how much will stay, but really….it’s just hair. And, it’ll grow again and then when she repeats this phase again…she’ll lose it again and then…..then it can really start coming back.

Geli’s been spending a lot of time laying on our couch over the past week. We’ve managed to avoid the hospital and we are SO excited about that. I’m a bit worn out by stress because on Boxing Day, Angelica woke up barfing and barfing and barfing and barfing and we really weren’t sure what was going on. Apparently either a bit of food poisoning or some wicked virus hit a few of my family, because my mom, both sisters, a sister-in-law, Geli and myself (to a very small degree) had some serious gastro-intestinal issues. Geli had a few nasty days and I wasn’t really sure what was going on. She had no fever, but was really not doing well. We weren’t sure what her counts were doing and were unsure if she’d be strong enough to fight off whatever was attacking her. Unfortunately, all of this also coincided with her finishing up the fist half of the current phase of Chemo that she is on. One of the side effects of the steroid that she was taking is wicked joint and bone pain. She has really been in pain over the past 2 days, in fact, she was in tears yesterday and needed some codeine to take the edge off.

She is really dealing with all of this as well as can possibly be expected, but all of this is not easy.

She has a break, and doesn’t start the second half of this phase until January 11th. We are hoping and praying that she really gets to enjoy this next week and a half; and that her counts recover as they are quite low….not decimated, but quite low.

We are going to be missing attending our annual Family New Years Party because her counts are too low to justify throwing her into the middle of 50+ people in one house. So, we are all feeling pretty bummed about that but I think it’s hardest for the kids because as adults, we can comprehend that it’s only one year and that it’s for a really good reason, but the kids…well, they just see it at one more thing that we are missing out on. We are trying to come up with something fun, exciting and yet low key to be able to do with the kids to celebrate.

We may just celebrate by actually staying up until midnight and banging pots and pans….yesterday, Angelica actually asked what the deal with New Years was about. See, typically we’ve just put out kids to bed and then gone to bed ourselves, well before midnight and then celebrated New Years with our extended family on New Years Day. So, they have no idea about New Years Eve celebrations…..maybe that just might be what we’ll do this year…..if I can make it up until midnight. Or maybe not……we’ll see.

How are are planning on celebrating the New Year?

Siah’s Gifts for the Babies

Josiah received a bit of help with his gifts…

Well, honestly, I wanted to be able to give these to the babies and Jon and I worked on them together and in an effort to make things as easy as possible – we gave them to Siah to give to the babies.

He helped to play with them before hand and also to wrap them up and well……that counts doesn’t it?

This year, it counts! It just does.

I bought a wooden teething toy for Josiah when he was a baby. I loved that it was all natural. These are made from Maple and are finished with Flaxseed Oil.

There are tons of these wooden teethers available for purchase on the internet and I wondered if we would be able to re-create some for ourselves.

We purchased a piece of hardwood and decided which designs that we wanted to create and Jon started cutting.

I love this hippo. I think he’s absolutely adorable. I have been trying to come up with an elephant design as I LOVE elephants and I’d love to be able to design the cutest elephant. I just don’t want it to have too many small pointy or sharp(ish) edges.

I also love these guitar’s.

Which design is your favorite? They were so much fun to make and I will definitely be giving these out as gifts in the future.

I love that the babies get a kick out of sucking and chewing on these, but a bonus surprise has been that Xandra and her cousins have enjoyed playing with the camera & keys; and that Josiah has loved playing with these also. I love the fact that they are using their imaginations to play with these. I also love that they are being used my children from infancy through to 12 years old. I’m wanting to make more wooden toys to encourage them in creative and imaginative play.

This gift was a lot of fun to create and even more fun to give.

Christmas Morning

For all of the ups and downs that this year brought, Christmas was so amazing.

I’m so aware of all that we “have” as a family, in having each other and I’m so thankful that we were all together to share our love between each other.

The baby was the first one to wake up. He started hollering for some attention at 6:40am. I was pleasantly surprised to see that none of the other kids were awake. Last year, none of the kids woke up before 7am and so it wasn’t completely out of the ordinary, but all the memories I have of Christmas morning, involve insanely early hours of waiting and waiting and waiting. I’m thrilled that my kids “sleep in” but think it’s a little abnormal, no?

Anyhow, we managed to get in a diaper change and a nursing session before Xandra came up stairs at 7:20am wondering if she was allowed to wake up the other kids and get their stockings.

Josiah wandered into our room moments after Xani and then she went and woke Jeremy up. The three older kids headed downstairs to get their stockings.

We had decided to let Geli sleep in, if she could, as sleep is a precious, but fleeting commodity for her, these days. The steroid that she’s on has the ability to mess, horribly, with her sleep and so if she can sleep….we let her. Cause another side effect of the steroid is moodiness and if you combine moodiness with sleeplessness….well, it’s just not a pretty picture. Add in 2-3 loud noisy children who make repetitive and often annoying noises and you have an AWESOME recipe for some serious meltdowns….and so the plan was to let her sleep in. Unfortunately, Geli had been awake every half and hour since 3am and was so tired but just couldn’t sleep. It’s so hard when things like this happen, because there is not much we can do. And we’re left to sit beside her, watching her suffer.

The kids spread themselves all over the floor and went to work on their stockings. The squeals and giggles indicating that they were fully enjoying themselves.

This was Judah’s first Christmas and while he’s a little young to understand what’s going on, he totally enjoyed watching the joyous chaos that surrounded him.

Josiah is showing off the onion that he found in his stocking. In my family, we always got a carrot, or potato or onion in our stocking. It was always funny to be searching through your stocking and to come across this totally-out-of-place item.

This year, my dad explained the background behind the veggie in the stocking. Apparently when he was a little boy, finances were tight and his mom used the veggie as a stocking filler and he carried the tradition on with his family. We never knew this growing up. All we knew was that it was hilarious to find a potato in the toe of our stocking on Christmas morning.

After the kids finish with their stockings, we make them freshen up a bit by brushing their teeth, combing hair and putting on clothes but this year I was a little lenient with the “go and put daytime clothes on” rule. Then, we have breakfast together. The kids love and want to eat those little tiny boxes of cereal. We normally set the table up really fancy and have a nice family breakfast. This year we didn’t go quite so fancy. It was a more relaxed, laid back morning and that was nice too.

Jon and Geli were just taking it easy. I’m so proud of this beautiful, young woman. She is walking through a horrific journey with grace and courage and strength.

While Jon and the kids had sugar cereal. I ate the most disgusting gluten free cinnamon bun. It wasn’t that it was even that gross tasting, but that it had the consistency of cardboard. Cardboard drenched in sugary icing. BLECH! Judah was LOVING his pears with cocoa powder.

While we cleaned up from Breakfast, Jeremy had a quiet moment and if you know him at all you’ll understand why this particular event is worth mentioning and posting a photo of.

Finally, it was time to “OPEN PRESENTS”. The kids all find themselves a “spot” that the designate as theirs.

And then Jon passes the gifts out.

This year, Jeremy was SOOOOOO excited about the gift that he was giving to Jon and he wanted Jon to open it right away.

Jon unwrapped and unwrapped and unwrapped and unwrapped and soon there was a HUGE pile of paper at his feet. Finally, that HUGE present turned into….

While Jon passed out presents and I snapped pictures, we used the BEST hands free device EVER. We put the Baby into a box….

Doesn’t everyone do this???? For baby’s that aren’t quite sitting steadily on their own…..He “can” sit, but often wobbles from side to side (and falls over). This Rubbermaid bin keeps him sitting, makes sure he doesn’t tip over, and all his toys are within arms reach inside the box. It’s GENIUS as far as I’m concerned.

We even gave him a present to open…

He wasn’t entirely sure what to do with it at first, but very quickly he figured out exactly what it was for……

And Man….was that ribbon ever delicious!

Thanks to the generosity of some amazing people our children were so SO blessed this year. (more about that to come in an upcoming post)

Josiah was given this sweet baseball cap and he looks so adorable, doesn’t he?

This was such a fabulous Christmas and we were and are so blessed.

I hope you had a wonderful Christmas. We are so thankful for health and life and the blessings of each other and of all you wonderful people in our lives.

If you don’t mind sharing, what was the best part of your Christmas Day?

Reduce, Re-use, Recycle

I spent a few moments yesterday going through my Christmas Cards and hacking them all up before I got rid of them.

I’m one of those people who don’t keep Christmas Cards, in fact – I will probably start to put all of my Christmas decorations away today. I like to set the decorations up a month before Christmas and then celebrate until Christmas rolls around and then as soon as Christmas is over, I’m ready to pack it all away.

This is not to say that I wasn’t so thankful for your Christmas Cards. This year, more than ever, I needed the cards as a reminder that I wasn’t alone. I have so much more to say on that topic, but not is this post….it deserves a post all on it’s own. I hung the cards through my venetian blinds and looked at them every day. Thank you to everyone who sent me one. It meant so much to me and that made it even more difficult than normal to just get rid of them….which is why I was so happy to put them to good use….

Earlier this year, I used a 40% off coupon from Michaels and bought a gift tag punch. I think this punch normally sells for anywhere from $15 – 20 and with the coupon, it is considerably cheaper. It’s great because you can use it year round for gifts and also for scrap booking. I will never buy gift tags again.

All through the month of December I kept looking at my Christmas Cards and thinking about how beautiful they were and how it’s sad to just look at them and then to get rid of them. I know I could keep them, but I have this thing about storing stuff. I just don’t like to. I’m not a pack rat. I keep a very few, select, sentimental things and the rest -I get rid of.

But, I was so excited when I realized that I could totally re-use those Christmas Cards and be “green” about it all.

1. I was able to reduce the amount of material that I was going to dispose of.

2. I was able re-use the cards to make pretty gift tags for use next Christmas and even some that I can use on regular (not holiday) gifts.

3. I recycled the rest of the cards.

Some of the tags are “good” on both sides and I can use a hole punch and tie a ribbon through those to attach to a gift. There are some that have writing on the back side of them and I think that I’ll just use tape or pop dots to stick those to the gifts so that the “underside” doesn’t show.

Paper punches are a great tool to have. Especially one’s like this that are so functional.

I will just pack the Christmas Gift Tags in an envelope along with the rest of my Christmas Wrapping Paper and Decorations. Then next year – Voila! Christmas Gift tags and I get to remember all your love again.

Speaking of gift tags – I had a moment this Christmas where I was wrapping presents and I had run out of pre-made gift tags. We had a a set of gift tags that had come from the Cancer Society and I figured that I might as well use them up. You know the kind….the little rectangle ones that are about 3/4 inch by 2.5 inches and they have a small picture of some Christmas wreath or candy cane or snowman or snowflake…..do you know what I’m talking about?

Well, I was sitting there wrapping presents and I picked up one of these tags to use and I had a great memory of my Grandma Kennedy. She ALWAYS used those little tags and my mind flashed back to an image of her living room with her Christmas Tree with the tinsel that was perfectly placed on the tree one strand at a time and all her fragile old Christmas ornaments. I have some of them hanging on my tree now. I remember wrapped presents with tags placed on perfectly in the corners. My grandma was very precise in everything that she did. I’ve been told that I’m a bit like her sometimes. I remember her handwriting and for a brief moment I wondered if I had a tag from one of her presents upstairs in my memory box. Something that I could hold on to and look at and remember. The memory came flooding in so fast and then I was left wanting more. I’ve replayed that memory more than a dozen times over the past 2 weeks. My Grandma died when Jeremy was 6 months old (he’s 10 now) and I often think of her when I’m dealing with my boys and wonder what she would have done. She had 4 boys and raised them all to be amazing, wonderful men. I hope and pray that I raise my boys (and girls) as well. I miss her and think of her often. It’s so nice to have these memories that come and bring such gifts with them.

Christmas Eve

Last year, we had a Christmas Eve Fondue with Jon’s parents and my kids LOVED it.

In fact, this year in November Jeremy started asking about that thing that we do every year….with the sticks and the cheese and the chocolate and the dipping. I finally figured out that he was talking about our Christmas Eve Fondue only…..we had only ever done it with the kids ONCE.

But I would LOVE to start a tradition of a Christmas Eve Fondue.

This year we were unsure how the whole celebrating Christmas with the families was going to look because we had Angelica to think about and her blood counts to take into consideration. Fortunately, everyone on both sides of our family was healthy and there was no issue about that. We did stay at or close to home though and it was only immediate family.

Jon’s parents came to celebrate Christmas Eve with us and it was such a great evening. We were able to have dinner and open presents and there was nothing terribly stressful or horribly rushed about the evening. The biggest challenge was making a dairy-free, egg-free, gluten-free fondue……….that tasted DELICIOUS. See, if I had used regular bread then when it was dipped into the cheese, it could have pieces that fell off and I could have eaten then and then bad things would have happened…and so it was necessary to make the entire fondue safe for everyone.

But…a gluten-free, dairy-free fondue can be done and it can taste so SO YUMMY!

The first thing that I did was to call my friend who is the manager of a Cheese and Bake Shop in White Rock and ask for her suggestions for some cheese that I could use in a fondue that wasn’t from cow’s milk. She suggested I use a mellow Goat Gouda and a crisp tasting Sheep Cheese.

This is the same friend who shaved her head raising money to support our family. She is honestly the most amazing person and such a great, great friend. We’ve known each other our whole lives and I love her like a sister. In fact, when we went by the store to pick up the cheese, we had someone ask if we were sisters. If you saw pictures of her, you’d know that was a great compliment. She has the most gorgeous HUGE blue eyes, the highest cheekbones and the greatest, most amazing smile. She is one of those people who are beautiful, both inside and out.

Anyway, she suggested that we try these two cheeses and the end result was AMAZING! It was a fabulous non-cow dairy cheese fondue and EVERYONE loved it and it was the perfect blend of cheese and had absolutely NONE of that nasty “goaty” taste.

If you are needing some cheese or fresh bread or any treats to go with cheese or fresh bread, I would totally suggest you check them out. Amazing products, Amazing staff and the management is…….AMAZING!!!!

The Roadhouse Bake Shoppe on King George in White Rock, BC

Back to Christmas Eve….the Cheese fondue was so SO Yummy! We had a bit of trouble with the oil fondue not being hot enough and we had even started it heating about an hour earlier, but while we were waiting for it get a bit hotter, everyone was downing the cheese fondue. I had bought some gluten and dairy free bagels and had cut them up into hunks. It was perfect for dipping. I had blanched a bunch of veggies and the kids were plowing through them too. I had cut up some moose meat and some chicken and also had some tempura sauce on hand but that stupid oil just wouldn’t get hot enough.

Cheese

We had eaten more than half of the cheese and Jon was turning the burner off so it wouldn’t burn to the bottom of the dish and CRACK….the dish broke….and that was the end of our cheese fondue.

It wasn’t exactly funny at the time….more annoying than amusing. The oil still wasn’t boiling and so I just took the meat to the kitchen and cooked in a pan and then we finished off our dinner.

It was just nice to be able to “be together”….that’s one of the important things about Christmas to me….having time to spend with family.

We cleared off the table and got to the “most important part of the meal” – according to Jeremy – the Chocolate Fondue.

There is a (dairy-free) Lindt Dark Chocolate that when mixed with a little soy creamer, makes the most delicious dairy free chocolate fondue. I have taken it to many places and no one ever knows or guesses that it’s not just a normal chocolate fondue.

Josiah gives it two thumbs up. We had TONS of fruit and also dipped some cookies into it. We ate until there was no more chocolate and everyone was full.

We cleared the table and started opening presents.

There were the “traditional” Christmas Pyjamas from Momma and Daddy.

For whatever reason, Jeremy needed to model his…both the front and the back…..and we HAD to take a picture…what a funny kid.

The evening ran WAY PAST the kids “normal” bedtime and Judah was a bit cranky which is never very fun.

But, He seemed to get a second wind and cruised on for at least another hour.

It was a great night and we enjoyed ourselves so much. After the kids went to sleep, e tidied up the house, put the presents under the tree and just after 1 am, just as we were getting ready to head to bed – the baby woke up…..and I cried. Okay, i didn’t, but I could have….and he did just nurse and go back to sleep so it wasn’t that bad.

In my mind though, Christmas Eve was a great night. Lack of sleep, food mess-ups and all…..

Do you have any favorite Christmas Eve traditions?

Giving

Christmas is over and was amazing. We are terribly over tired, but managed to do what we needed to do on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and now today is for recuperating……for some of us – quite literally.

Geli woke up this morning barfing. I’m not sure what the deal is, but there is no fever and so we are just hoping that whatever it is passes quickly. She is feeling a bit better than this morning as so……we carry on.

I had these great ideas that I’d post regularly over the past week or two and yet, when it all came down to it – there was JUST. NO. TIME.

I chose to be as wise as possible and to work within my limits and I’ve managed to not only make it through the Christmas chaos, but I’m not completely stressed out (well, not any more than what seems to be “normalish” for right now) and I have a whole ‘nuther week to relax before the kids all head back into the school madness.

So, if I can, I’d like to share what some of our handmade Christmas gifts were this year. I have a few other things to say and I’ll probably throw them in around some of the fun things that we did or are doing and it should be quite a party over here.

Last year we had our first “handmade Christmas”. The kids (my kids) were responsible to make gifts to give to each other. I wasn’t opposed to helping them to buy or get material to make their gifts for each other as long as it was inexpensive and was something that they could mostly do on their own. It was SO MUCH FUN that we’ve decided to carry on with this tradition. This year I made an effort to try to use materials for the projects that we already had on hand. We did end up spending some, but very little for the 30+ gifts (in total) that the kids ended up making for their siblings and their cousins. This year, we started making the gifts earlier than last year, but even then we ended up leaving things to the last minute. I think that I’m gonna try to get the show rolling a little earlier this next year and try to have things finished by the 1st of December. It’s always good to have goals, isn’t it? Anyway………

Xani’s Quilt

Angelica was given a quilt back when she was diagnosed with Leukemia and its the kind of thing that she can have here at home and then take to the hospital and then it’s the same and has the reassuring qualities of “home” and “comfort” regardless of where she is. Xani has ooh’ed and aaaah’ed all over Geli’s quilt and I mentioned that in the new year, we could think about making one for her.

Well, Angelica really wanted to make a quilt for Xandra for Christmas and so she did.

She had a bit of help from her Nana Karen and from her Momma, but she made this quilt for her sister.

We used bits and pieces of material that we had on hand (oh, except I did buy one piece of fabric on sale for $1.99 per meter), an older blanket for the inside filler and an old sheet for the bottom piece. We had everything to make this gift on hand except for the $1.99 purchase.

Xani had mentioned that she really wanted a purple and yellow quilt and Angelica made it happen. The biggest frustration with this project was that Geli left it a little too late and we were rushing to get it done before the kids finished school as it would have been difficult to work on it while they were home.

Geli spent ages working on the pattern she wanted to do and trying to make the fabric that we did have to fit within what she envisioned and she did it. It’s really pretty. It’s not a HUGE quilt, but perfect to snuggle up with, on the couch or on your bed and the best thing……Xani LOVES IT!!!

She was so happy on Christmas Day when she opened it.

Truth be told, she did download a bunch of photo’s from my camera and these pictures happened to be on there and she did see it in advance. Regardless, she hadn’t got a really good look and compared to what she thought she’d seen…..the real gift was a lot better.

Geli had so much fun making and giving this gift and Xani got so much pleasure from receiving it and so this handmade gift was a GREAT success.

In fact, Angelica had so much fun making this quilt that she whipped up two more smaller quilted blankets for her two baby cousins. We were in such a hurry to get them finished and wrapped that I never even got any pictures of them, but they were really, REALLY cute. You’ll just have to take my word on it. She used a bunch of the fabrics from the stuff that I used to make Judah’s quilt back in the spring…..

They turned out really well, and again….she just used material that we already had on hand.

It was a great distraction for Geli in the middle of some down days. We did have some obstacles to overcome and the whole process would have probably gone a bit quicker, if my machine hadn’t broken in the middle of our sewing frenzy, but a HUGE thanks to Aunty Linda for letting us borrow hers. We are so thankful.

I love that we were able to thin out my fabric stash, to not spend money (well, not very much) and to make AWESOME presents to give away.

I especially loved just how excited Angelica was to be making these gifts and how excited she was to give them away. I want to teach my kids to be thoughtful to others….to give gifts that they’ve given of themselves into and that they believe the other person will appreciate or will have meaning to them. I think that we are on that track.

Christmas is Coming & other updates…

Well, the baby is playing on the floor, the boys are watching Despicable Me; and the girls (and Jon) are in town to get Geli’s third dose of chemo for this round.

We went and got her blood work done yesterday and her numbers are quite low. Not “freaky scary hole up in the house for a week or two” low, but “avoid mostly everyone and stick to just family members” low. We should hit the “wrap her in Purell coated bubble wrap” low by New Years Day; and really, we are praying to avoid any trips to Children’s between today and January 11th…which is the next scheduled chemo dose. If you are the praying type, we’ve love some prayer that she (and we) stay healthy and protected between now and then. We are really looking forward to some nice quiet, calm peaceful days and nights between now and then.

When Angelica went for her 2nd dose of chemo last Thursday her white blood count was on the extreme high end of normal. This was a bit unnerving for us as the last time they were anywhere close to high was when we found out that she had Leukemia, BUT….this time, it was only an indicator that she had a virus and that she was fighting it off. This was FABULOUS news because her body is trying so hard to do what it was created to do and in the middle of all of this assault of her body – that is wonderful.

She successfully fought off that virus (after it tried quite ridiculously hard to kick her butt – she did have a rough couple of days and we weren’t sure if it was the chemo or the virus or both) and only has the slightest bit of a cough right now. The rest of us are steadily taking our vitamins, avoiding the throngs of people out there and trying to do everything that we can to boost our immune systems so that we don’t get anything, and so far it seems to be working.

With everyday that passes uneventfully, I can feel my family starting to breath a bit deeper, starting to relax, starting to act less strung out and this is such a good thing. Josiah is starting to go to bed more calmly (he was screaming hysterically for more than half an hour at bedtime regardless of what we did to encourage, console or help him to sleep) and he’s actually been sleeping through the nights (as opposed to waking every hour or 2). The not sleeping was just making EVERYTHING worse and so to have that not be as HUGE of an issue is so nice.

We are hopefully working through the issues with Judah. <>

We’ve not seen a lot of blood in his poop recently and so we are hoping that things for him are on the upswing. We’ve gone from 15+ bloody diarrhea diapers in a day to about 4 or 5 more normal-ish looking jobs. He’s throwing up WAY less and seems less like he’s in pain and is waking less in the night.

It might take some time for his intestinal tract to heal but I believe that he’s on the mend. I still feel quite a bit of stress about him, but it’s less now that he seems to be getting better as opposed to getting worse.

I feel like we are definitely headed in a more relaxed, peaceful direction, and yet I feel a bit like I’m holding my breath. I would desperately love for things to carry on as they are and for nothing to upset this delicate balance that we’ve got going on. It’s a reality that I have to be prepared for that Angelica could end up in the hospital between now and the New Year. It’s not a certainty, nor is it even “likely” but I cannot ignorantly walk around with my head in the clouds thinking that nothing like that could possibly happen to our family. For who I am, I need to at least be a little bit “prepared” that it might happen and then I can be ever so pleasantly delighted when it does not happen (positive speaking, right?). Having that thought in the back of my head, does bring it’s own level of stress and I hate that. I hate that I feel like an elastic that is wound too tight, but as long as I can hold steady everything is okay. If there is one more twist, then I might snap.

I don’t actually believe that I’ll snap, but to have things go chaotic again seems like it would very much upset this fragile balancing act that I’ve got going on. I do feel a bit more grounded with every day that passes, but I still feel like I’m trying to get back to a position of strength, not like I’m working or operating from that position of strength.

Being that kind of person that I am……it sucks to be in this place.

Other than my stress level – things are carrying on as usual. We are almost ready for Christmas. Siah is SO excited. I forgot how much fun it is to have a 3 year old for Christmas. I think 3 is the perfect age. He can’t wait for Christmas to come and his Holiday Cheer is so infectious.

We are doing well, over all, and I am so thankful that we are all together as a family this Christmas and that Geli’s prognosis is so good. We are looking forward to 2011 being an amazing year.

Pixies and Dimples

So, this post is the equivalent of me sticking my fingers in my ears and singing, “la la la la la la la” really loud. Things are not really great, but they’re not really horrible, and right now I don’t want to talk about it so…..yah….anyhoooooo……

I said that I had some things that I had been working on to show you, and here is the first of them….

(mostly, this is just a post with a lot of adorable pictures of Judah.
I wish I could bottle up his giggles, they make everything disappear for one moment.)

This little hat knits up really quickly and requires only that you know how to knit and to purl. I managed to knit this up over 2 days and I am NOT the worlds fastest knitter. I think I used size 7 needles and this is a wool that I picked up from Michaels….none of that is very exciting at all, is it?

I like to have a fun, simple, not time critical, knitting project that I can just work on whenever, because I can take it with me in the car and knit while we drive….well, while Jon drives. Although, I’ve not been out a lot recently and man, has that ever cut into my knitting time.

Do you not want to just eat those dimples up?

If you are interested in knitting this hat, just google “Pixie Hat Pattern” and there are TONS of links for this hat. Oh, and Judah is HUGE and is typically wearing between 12-24 month sizes and I used 62 stitches instead of the 50 that the pattern calls for.

I added a brim to the bottom edge which is amazing because it comes down and keeps his neck nice and snugly warm even if there is a gap between his shirt and his coat. I also used a snap closure because I didn’t want to be dealing with any strings.

This would make a great gift for a cute baby in your life, don’t you think? And, it is super stretchy and Josiah can fit this, and well, honestly Geli can get it on her head, but it’s a bit too short and doesn’t cover up to her face like it should…..I do have another one on the go, in pink, and I’m using around 100 stitches. If it works out size wise, then I plan to add a really LOOOONG braid to the bottom with tassles at the end. It should look darling on Geli or Xani….I may even end up having to make 2, because they’ve both expressed an interest in having one of their own.

Oh, LOOK! Judah is waving bye to you all.

Just for fun, what is one of your favorite memories of Christmas?

The Ups and Downs

It’s been a bit of a rough weekend, which spilled over into the start of a rough week and really – I’m still feeling a bit shaky, but I’m hoping that I can pull it together and climb up and out of the funk that I was/am in.

Judah had a pretty rough weekend health-wise and where he had seemed like he was getting better – he seemed to be even worse and it scared and stressed me out. He was grouchy and upset and wanted to be held. 25lbs of dead weight is a bit much to carry around 18 hours of the day especially when you’re trying to clean and cook and herd children and carry on with the daily grind of it all.

As a result, I was one seriously stressed out ball of massive hurt…..I still hurt. My back, shoulders and neck have not recovered from 2 days of that, and they involuntarily recoil when I reach to take him from Jon or one of the girls. It’s not been fun!

Geli’s been feeling “off”. She has been having some nasty headaches – which I can totally relate too – and her emotions are right on edge. She has one more day “on” the steroid and then a week off followed by one more week on and then we have a 3 month break from the steroids. So far, her sugar levels have been totally perfect and we’re praying that they stay that way.

Between stressing about Judah’s health and Geli’s whole situation, and throwing in me feeling so useless and inadequate……I just had the worst weekend. Any one thing, is way too much stress for us to handle, but everything together is overwhelming. And I hate feeling like I’m not accomplishing things.

I hate that my baby is having stomach problems. By the way, my dr thinks that he picked up a bug and that he is on the upswing, and just ended up with a virus, which only makes things seem worse, when they are in fact, getting better. I should know in a day or two, if this is the case, but the whole situation feels very wearing on me.

And, for whatever reason, he just woke up….and so with that – I’m done for the night.

Delayed Intensification 1

So yesterday was the start of Delayed Intensification 1. This is the 4th out of 7 stages of Chemotherapy for Angelica. And….this is the stage where we finally hit the half way mark of this first intensive (almost) year of chemotherapy. That should happen in about 2 weeks-ish.

She had a fairly good day of treatment yesterday. She got some chemo injected into her spinal fluid (lumbar puncture), then 2 different chemo meds intravenously, they hung around for an hour after the LP (its required), they picked up the steroids that shes on during this stage and then they headed home. One of these meds can make her feel a little sick (and it did) and so we drugged her up and she basically hung out on the couch for the rest of the day and then went to bed early.

This round shouldn’t be a horrific round and yet there are a few side effects that are possibilities and that we are really hoping that she doesn’t get. The steroids are the worst offenders in this round and can cause problems with her sugar levels which might send her back into a diabetic state. They can cause severe joint and bone pain which can be bad enough to require hospitalization with morphine. They can cause her to have insomnia. They can cause severe mood swings. Really, it’s not pretty or fun.

The first half of this round is actually a shortened version of the very first round that Geli was on. It’s 3 weeks of treatment as opposed to the 4 weeks that she did. One difference is that the steroid is a stronger steroid BUT…she takes it one week off, one week on, and then one week off again.

Some of the effects are cumulative, which mean that IF she ends up with those side effects that she could be feeling the worst of it at Christmas. This would suck, and so we are asking for prayer that Angelica would remain strong and healthy and that the nasty side effects would not bother her.

We want….
NO sugar issues
NO joint pain
NO sleep issues
NO mood swings
NO nausea
NO illness or sickness

and for the chemo to do it’s job and nothing more.

Thanks so much for all your support and prayers. We appreciate you so much.

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