Yup, I’ve been holding myself back.
You might be wondering if this is a good thing or not and…well, it is!
I’ve had these amazing lightbulb moments recently and you know how when something hits you as HUGE, or LIFE CHANGING or ALTERING that you want to share…..well, this is one of my moments and I’m gonna share….m’kay?
I’ve been exercising for over 3, almost 4 weeks now and while I’m not thrilled with the weight loss (haven’t really lost anything. I’m hovering between 196 and 202 and that sucks). There are other things that I’ve definitely noticed as positive effects from the exercise.
I’m needing less sleep. I feel stronger. I can do more and more of the class each time with better technique and skill. These are all positives. I can see and feel muscles developing (under the nice layer of fat that I’m hoping will start to melt soon). I’m excited to go to the class and feel AMAZING when the class is done. These are all good things, eh?
I’m working on my diet to find the right balance of food and calories that will fuel my body and help me to start loosing.
I will admit that I’ve felt very discouraged by how hard I feel like I’m working and the fact that I don’t see the weight coming off, BUT…..I am trying to focus on me getting healthy and strong FOR LIFE and not just for weight loss. I believe the weight loss will come…..or so I keep telling myself.
I’m also learning more about myself and having these little “lightbulb moments” during the class which then translate into more thought provoking times outside of class.
I am a highly organized (heck you could call it anal) type of person. My mind moves so fast……ALL THE TIME. Trying to shut it off or at the very least slow it down is a major undertaking. I find that I’m constantly thinking of what comes next. I’m constantly trying to figure out what happens in the future so that I can plan or organize for it so that it will all run smooth and then everyone will be able to enjoy life. (another realization just hit me – BLAM!!!! – man….I’ll be processing this one today some…..hmmmmmm)
I realized one class that I was so tired and overwhelmed because in my head I was running through how long there was still in the class and how much we still had left to do and which exercises that were hard I still had to do and how long until the easy ones started…………
My thoughts were focused so far ahead of myself and I realized that I was exhausted just thinking about what I still needed to accomplish. I was totally psyching myself out and was completely sapping any energy that I might have had to do the exercise that I needed to be doing right at that moment.
I tried very hard to bring myself back to the present, and to focus on what was in front of me and to just take it one step at a time, but honestly…..finishing that class was very difficult.
I went into the next class purposing to stay right in the moment and to not race ahead and while I had to reign myself in a few times…..I did WAY better and actually found that I had the energy to do the class and I wasn’t wasted by the time the class was finished. In fact, I was surprised at how fast the class seemed to zoom by. It was awesome.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about how this applies in my everyday life.
And….well…..it really does apply.
I know that I’ve got a busy, BUSY fall that needs to be planned and organized and while I love to plan and organize – I’ve been letting it all overwhelm me slightly. I know that I can do it all. I know that it’s not too much. I even enjoy it. And so I’ve promised myself that I will view the over all picture lightly. I’ll see it for what it is….the big picture and then I’ll get busy with what needs to be done today and this week.
I can do this….and I’m gonna just relax and stay present and just enjoy today.
Tomorrow will take care of itself and my worrying about it won’t make it any easier or harder – will it?
Matt 6:25-34
I used to have a client who said “Be Here Now” at the beginning of every meeting. What a difference it made when everyone in the room was engaged in the conversation and not in what was on their to do list (or playing with their blackberries). We all got more out of the meetings this way.
Thanks for the reminder. Need to apply this theory to time spent playing with my son. And not worrying about what else has to get done.
that picture of you and Siah is breathtaking!