Category: just crap…

Abandonment

I’ve not abandoned you all.  I promise.

I’ve got to get on here and update you all on Halloween and our decision to “make” costumes this year, as well as talk about Josiah turning 12 weeks last Saturday, and 3 months old on Sunday and having his 2 month appointment today and how FREAKIN’ ENORMOUS he is…….

AND, I’m struggling with trying to be SUPERMOM.

I’m not super mom and I know it, just in case you thought I was really that misguided, but I am feeling utterly overhwhelmed.  Not to the point that I’m diving off the edge of a cliff or rocking in a corner with my hands over my ears singing, “na na na na na na” over and over.

I just need to STOP and MAKE SOME TIME to figure out the priorities in my life.  BUTI’MSOBUSYTRYINGTODOEVERYTHING,THATTOSTOPANDFIGUREIT
ALLOUT ….would mean that I’d have to actually “STOP” and figure it all out…..and who has time for that, really?

I’m working on it………sort of!

Go look at my pictures over at Flickr and see how cute the kiddo’s were.

And Josiah…..isn’t he a doll?

Has It Really Been 2 Months Already?

DimplesI think I’m kind of in shock over here.

It’s hard to believe that two months have flown by.  There have been so many amazing firsts…..although if you asked me to name any, I’d be hard pressed to pull them up – just like that.  I’m also kinda sad, ’cause I’d like to squish you down and keep you little.

Not that you are really very little at a whopping 14 pounds and 23 inches long.

I think what I mean is that I’d like to stop time.  2 months has whizzed by, and pretty soon you’re going to be graduating and moving out and getting married, and it will have only been yesterday that I gave birth.

So much has happened in these past two months, and a WHOLE lot has not happened. 

Apparently, I can’t do EVERYTHING!  Who knew?

I mean I thought I was freakin’ amazing and could do everything.  I thought that I’d just add this one little baby, and I’d still be able to do everything that I was doing before he was born.

Ha!

HA! HA!

I’m lucky if I get one thing done in a day, and even if I manage to get one thing done, and still have actual day light hours to do another thing on my list…….I haven’t the energy.  I know I’ve complained about being tired, but when I’m rocking the little bugger to sleep at 12:23am while Jon is in bed sleeping, and then up at 5:47am wandering the house trying to get my little darling to burp so he’ll just settle down, and Jon is still sleeping…oh no…..wait a sec…..the alarm just went off….must be 6am…..and now he’s just hit the snooze button…….are you kidding me?  Just get up and rock your son…..I’ve been up 3 times already and my hips are killing me ’cause I need to make a chiro appt…….and there goes the alarm again….and he’s snoozed it AGAIN…………and now 15 million snoozes later it’s 6:52am, and the older kids are stirring and I might as well just get up ’cause the baby still hasn’t………oh, there’s the burp…..and now he’s sleeping, and I’m too annoyed to sleep.  Maybe I’ll be able to get a nap this afternoon…..yah, that’s right.  I’ll try to have a nap……aaaawwwwhhhh, who am I kidding…I can hardly ever nap……….this is definately a 2 shot Americano morning. 

Oh, did I just muse all of that out loud?  Welcome to my world!  We could call the theme tired and frustrated….mostly ’cause I’m tired!  Add a 14 pound mamma’s boy to that mix, and it’s a good time, people!

I’m serious about the not accomplishing anything.  Today, for example, I had a list (I can make lists while I’m nursing, so I know exactly what and how much I AM NOT accomplishing. – Yah Me!  It’s a real boost to the ol’ ego to make a record of what you can’t get done and to watch it just get longer and longer.  So much fun!) and I needed to go shopping.  I hit Costco and Superstore, and made it home before I had to nurse.  I needed to go to about 5 other stores to pick up 1 item from each of them, and before Josiah, that wouldn’t have been a big deal, but taking the baby out of his car seat for 5 minutes and then putting him back in it is frustrating and takes twice as long, and seeing as he doesn’t really like his car seat in the first place…it’s just hell all around, and so I don’t go unless I have someone with me who can stay in the car with the baby…….yes, I AM A DIVA…I need an entourage and I’m okay with that. 

So, I get home, Jon helps to unload the van while I nurse Josiah, and then there is one last trip to make ’cause I forgot to take a deposit to the bank.  Stupid, sleep deprived me!

Now I’m tired and parked in front of my computer covered in barf…..cold wet barf….you should try it….smells lovely!  I should have started dinner, but I haven’t and now I have to scrap what I had planned ’cause there isn’t time, and I have to come up with a quicker meal ’cause I only have half an hour….maybe we’ll have chilli for the 3rd time in a week.  Won’t the kids love that?

I have so much more to say and no more time……maybe I’ll be back later tonight, but probably not…..maybe tomorrow…but don’t hold out too much hope for that either……..until whenever………….

ps.  I have a random set of pics up on Flickr, and I’ll be explaining some of them over the next couple of days posts.  You can get a sneek peek here.

An Explanation of Sorts……

I’m tired!

Really seriously freakin’ tired!

So tired that I’d like to remove my eyeballs from my head, and pop them in my mouth to clean them from the gritty sand that feels like it’s embedding its gritty self into them. Then I’d like to remove my head from my body, and place it on the pillow, and leave it there for about a week.  At least them I’d know that some part of me was actually resting and getting some sleep.

Josiah is a lovely, lovely baby.  He is so happy and sweet.  He smiles anytime he’s awake, and is cooing at us, and loves to be held(ALL THE TIME) and I just absolutely love him to bits.

Night times are a bit more of a struggle.  He’s not awake mind you!  He has been waking up every 2 hours in the night which is getting a bit old seeing as he was doing 4 and even 5 hours at times, so I know he can do it, and if I weren’t so tired, I might attempt to just get him back to sleep without nursing him, but there’s the vicious circle……I am too tired to do anything other than roll over and nurse him.

He’s been awake until 1am or so for the last week and a bit, and then where I’d be happy for him to sleep until 4 or 5, NOPE!  Two hours or sometimes even less…..not fun!

I think that my lack of posting is directly related to how tired I am.  When I’m tired – My brain doesn’t function, and NOTHING in this world is funny or cute….not even Jeremy looking at me and asking in all seriousness when we can spend some quality time together?  What six year old asks for quality time……..what six year old uses the word “quality”?  BUT….I’ve got one better.  He asked me the other day if it hurt Josiah when they cut the umbilical cord.  “UMBILICAL!!!!”  seriously people….where does he pick these things up….I don’t even remember using the word in front of him, although obviously I must have mentioned it at some point ’cause where else would he have picked it up, but come on….this is a child who can’t sit still for 2 seconds even if I promised him an entire Halloween’s worth of candy.  Not that I would ’cause then we’d be peeing on walls again…have I told you that story…it’s a doozy…..I’ll look back in the archives to see if I did or didn’t……any way…enough for now.   ’til next time………

I Have a Plan!

Okay!  So, I’m really behind, and I have WAY too many things that I WANT to share.  Even if you don’t care, I really want to  put them out here so that I have a record or who and what and when and where and how and all that stuff.

I’ve missed recording Josiah’s First smile, cloth diapers, his first 4 weeks, and yesterday he was officially one month old.  On top of that, the kids have had their first day back at school, Jeremy needs Oral Resconstruction Surgery and has to be knocked out, Jon’s on a cleanse and we made a completely impulsive trip up to Prince George this past weekend……imagine if you will a 7-8 hour trip that takes well over 10 hours with a baby who feeds every hour and half…….that’s a hoot!  Yes, we are insane!

There is so much more, and I PROMISE, that now that my kids are backin school, I’ll will ACTUALLY be able to get on here and blog.  Provided that Josiah co-operates….just kidding….even if he doesn’t, I’ll just stick him in the Moby Wrap (LOVE THAT THING – I’ll talk about it too!) and we’ll carry on.

I tried to sleep today, and it’s frustrating when I “plan” to lay down, and the baby doesn’t work with me.  Doesn’t he know I’m planning to sleep after the next feed?  Why is he staying awake?

Plus, I got a few questions that maybe you could help me out with – You Oh Amazing Internet in all your wisdom and glory!

Anyway, I have approximately 2 minutes and 43 seconds before the baby wants to nurse again, and I have to flip the laundry over, and plan dinner, and hope that this headache goes away.  Ah, Sleep Depravation is a wonderful thing!

Oh, I will also have a deluge of photos for your perusal in the next day or so….or just as soon as I download them from my camera, and upload them onto Flickr.  Oh Flickr, how I love thee!  So, that’s it for now…..I shall see you all again soon, my lovelies.  Until then….

The Catch Up Post (with WAY TOO MANY pictures)

Wow!  It’s been almost a week since I posted anything…..okay…maybe not a week, but it’s been 5 days, and that’s a week’s worth of work.  Any way, we are officially on VACATION right now.

It’s Fabulous *snort*…..yah!  A vacation at home with 3 bigs kids, and one newborn, and a husband who is still trying to catch up on a back log of work in his “down time”, and a messy house, and activites scheduled and then having to be “arranged” around a nursing baby’s schedule, and a screaming baby when we are on the road and it’s feeding time, and that’s just the tip of the fun we’ve been having…….OH THE JOYS!

As I mentioned last time, we decided NOT to go on vacation up to Vasseaux Lake, and instead we would stay home where we had all the gear, and didn’t have to pack anything up, and then just spend money on random bits of fun here locally. 

On Friday night, We invited friends of ours over and we had a birthday party for one of our friends. 

Holly's Birthday

Yah!  It was the first time that I’d had anything at our house, and well…..it went pretty well, but things took a little onger than I had expected.  EVERYTHING takes longer with a newborn around. 

Dave and JosiahWe even had a surprise guest from Labanon.  Jon’s brother was in town, and came out for the party. 

It was nice to see him, and for him to be able to see Josiah for the first time.  They only just left, so it was a nice surprise to see him again soo soon. 

It was a fun night for all, until the babies started to go beyond what they could handle, and everything was shut down, and we all parted ways to put the children to bed. 

Do they really even realize what power they hold at such a young age?

On Saturday, we “showed up at our cabin for the week” and would you believe it????…….the last people to use the place had left it a mess…..can you believe it?  So we had to spend our first day at the “vacation cabin” cleaning up.  That was Saturday….ALL DAY! because they fussed for the entire day about “HAVING” to clean up, and it took ALL FREAKIN’ DAY to get the house cleaned.  Talk about frustrating…..  We did go out to a nie Greek Food restauraant with Denver and Debbie, but I forgot my camera.  Lucky for us, Debbie had hers, so as soon as she sends the pics to me (HINT, HINT) I can post those.

Sunday we got up and we thought about going to church, and then quickly dismissed that idea ’cause it would have meant that we needed to rush, and I really wasn’t into rushing.  I’m feeling the lack of sleep these days.  It’s not too bad, and I’m really not complaining, ’cause this little angel child only wakes at 2am and 5am (like I’ve mentioned before) and mostly just eats and falls right back to sleep unless he gets a air bubble that he won’t let go of.  He really likes to hold onto his burps.  It really takes an act of God to get him to burp. 

Hanging at StarbucksAny way, we went into Vancouver to see Chris, and then we were going to go to Granville Island and check out the market and see if we could find any “weird, cool, unique and unfamiliar fruits” that we could try out for fun.  We might not send our kids with a dollar to the candy store at Granville Island, but we will take them there and search out weird fruits…..hey, if you say it with enough excitement in your voice – you can make just about anything sound fun.

We stayed with Chris for a long time, and had a REALLY GOOD TIME, but by the time we were done, we couldn’t go to Granville Island.  It was too late – maybe another day.  Instead we took the kids to Red Robins, and they were wonderful little angels.  Which was a miracle, as they’ve been a bit wild recently.

We had to stop at the Farm Market to pick up some fruits and veggies on our way home, and Jon took the kids into the Market while I sat in the car and nursed Josiah.  Josiah was still going strong when they were finished, and so they played in the gravel parking lot.  Who knew that a gravel parking lot could be so much fun.  See how sad they are to be leaving…what a bunch of goofs.

Not Happy

On Monday, Jon worked in the moring while the kids tore the house apart, and I tried to sleep (Sooooooo tired – I know……I’m a whiner, I have it sooooo easy)  Then we all pack up and went to the Matinee for Ratatouille.  The kids loved it, and it was actually a really cute movie.  We had to go into Langley to see see the movie ’cause that was the ONLY place close that was still playing the movie.  After the movie was over we went and visited  my Dad at his office, and then went shopping for a few baby things.

We ended up picking up backpacks and school shoes for the kids, so they were happy.

That brings us to today.  We had a bunch of stuff planned.  Little things that required little to no money.  We were going to hit the Library, and let the kids take 5 dollars each and spend it at the Dollar Store, go to all 3 parks at Mill Lake, and finish up shopping for school supplies. (I just have a few things left to pick up). 

Jason & JosiahA friend of ours called us this morning, and adjusted those plans for us.  YAH!

Jason is down from Prince George, and got to see and hold Josiah.

I’m posting this picture to drive Lise mad with envy, and then maybe she’ll move back…..or maybe she’s still holding out hope that we’ll move up there.

Anyway, Love ya girl, and miss ya tons. 

It was so nice to see Jason, and we talked and talked and talked, and still didn’t get to say everything that we’ve have liked to.  We could talk forever. 

We really miss these guys.  They are AMAZING people, and we are worse off because they’ve moved so blinking far away.

 Movin’ on before I start thinking about it too much and cry…..

We did get out and pick up a bunch of school supplies, but I’m still looking for a few specific things.  Jon did take the kids to ONE of the parks at Mill Lake, but aside from an amazing visit, our day was pretty much shot.

Here is a cute picture of our little demon angel.

Here he is at one week old.

and Here’s Two Weeks

And we Absolutely LOVE this Lion King shot….love the arms and legs. 
They’re so long and scrawny.

Alrighty, I have so much more, but the little man is calling, and so I must go.

 Go and check out the new pics up over here.

26 Days to go…..

Well, I’ve managed to balloon my feet and legs (up to my calves) back to epic proportions.  I spent the whole day on Sunday on my butt and with my feet up, and by this morning they looked almost normal again.

I really needed to get somet stuff done around the house today, and so I’ve been on them most of today.  I’ve also been wearing pants, and so I’ve not really been watching them.  Apparently they’ve puffed up without feeling too terribly puffy – that’s a good thing and a bad thing.  Good ’cause they don’t hurt like they did on Saturday night, but bad ’cause I didn’t even feel how puffy they actually are.

Oh well, I’ll probably just sit around the rest of tonight, and then spend a bit of tomorrow on my butt as well.

It’s kinda like a not so fun game……let’s see if we can keep Patti’s feet from sweeling up so bad that they pop…..it’s not a very fun game at all.

So, I’ve had only two guesses about when my baby might come, and so right now either of those two people stand a better than likely chance that they’ll be correct.  I know that I have more people than just two who read here, so COME ON……just guess….who knows…you might even win a prize.

I’m thinking about getting a gift certificate to either somewhere local – depending on who wins, or even to some place like Amazon.com or some other on-line store,,,if it’s someone from the States…or maybe even Corsica????  Hint, Hint!!!!!

I am almost ready for this baby to come, and really if he came right now – I’d survive everything exept for if he had to stay in the hospital…then I’d survive but I’d freak out. 

I think because I’ve been so busy today – I’ve had a butt load of Braxton Hicks, but nothing that is able to be timed or getting any closer or stronger, and really they are just more annoying than any thing.

I did finish the baby blanket that I was crocheting.  I’m glad, although it’s too hot to be using it on the baby anyway.

Well, that’s my update for today.  Not very exciting, but it is was it is….my day was not very exciting today.  Mostly just a day filled with getting stuff done…and not even exciting stuff….just boring mundane stuff.

How was your day?  Drop me a note in the comments and leave a guess if you haven’t already. 

Hurting and Crying

Did you ever want to just unload EXACTLY how you’re feeling, but you can’t do that ’cause you’d hurt other people.  People that you loved and cared for…..and so you keep it all inside, and then it builds up, and you feel like you’re going to explode or implode or whatever…..

I’m having another down day.  I hate this.  I hate these days.  I hate it when the things that I’m feeling come crashing down in on top of me, and I dont’ know what to do with them.  I just want to ignore them, and I wish they would all just “poof” go away.

I’m worried about Chris.  I’m worried about my family.  I’m worried about this baby, although that particular worry is way down on the list of things to worry about.  I know it’s just a matter of time – but I hate the “time” factor.

I feel like I’m being crushed under a HUGE weight of stuff that is WAY TOO HEAVY for me to be carrying especially when I’ve got my own stuff to “Carry” right now.

Maybe I just need to go and have a good cry, and then once some of the pressure is relived – I’ll feel better.  I’d love to believe that, but crying, isn’t going to change anything right now.  Everything that I’m thinking about is still going to be there, unchaged when I’m done, and then I’ll have puffy eyes, a raw nose, and a wicked headache to boot…..and seriosuly, who wants to deal with all of that.

I have my lists of stuff to do, and don’t even feel like doing any of that.  I dont’ know what to do with myself.  I did get the baby’s bag for the hospital packed yesterday.  Yah Me, but there is still so much more to do…..not tons of stuff, but just some stuff.  I feel like for everything I cross of the list, that I add 2 or 3 more things, and my list only grows longer, and not shorter.

I’m not sleeping well, and so I’m sure the “tired” thing is not helping.

I know that I can’t fix any of the things that I’m worrying about, and I’m not trying to.  I know that I can’t change the situations, and I’m not trying to.  I just hurt so bad when I feel other people hurting, and I hate that I can’t take all the hurt and make it go away.

I realize that everyone has their own paths to walk down, and that everyone has a choice as to how they travel their particular path, but it doesn’t change the fact that I hurt for them, and all they are going through.  I wish I could control the situations, and just say, “Do it this way…..it would hurt so much less in the long run.”  But I can’t, and I know that.

 I still hurt……for everything that’s going on right now.

Maybe “down” days are no good for me…..I slow down too much and end up thinking and feeling overwhelmed.  Maybe I just need to keep going full force, until I have a complete mental and physical breakdown…that sounds about right doesn’t it?  Ha Ha!  Just kidding!

Tips, Hints and other various stuff….

Well, I tried something out today!  I’ve posted before about not wearing deodorant any more.  It’s not that I’m not doing anything, but I’m using this rock crystal thing, and it works amazingly as far as you not stinking.  You still sweat, though!

When we were in Kamloops, I saw my sister (Debbie) putting pantyliner’s in her shirts, and I couldn’t understand what she was up to.  Turns out that I’m not the only one in the family who has boycotted “regular” deodorant/anti-perspirant.  But Debbie is much smarter, than I….she puts pantyliners in the armpits of her shirts, and VOILA – no more wet marks.

It’s taken me a bit to try it out, but yesterday I bought a package and decided to try it out today.  It felt kinda weird to stuffing a pad into my shirt, but once I got it in position, it seemed like it just might work.  You can’t really even tell that they are there.  The only thing that I am going to try is to put them in sidways along the underarm part of my shirt.  I’ve got them in long way’s right now, and I’m a bit …..um……..larger…..heck, I’m just fatter than Debbie is, and my underam area is bigger than her skinny little one.  While I didn’t get whole underarm area wet and soggy today – I did notice a spot that was a bit wet where the pantyliner didn’t stretch to.  I don’t know if I just moved it forward an inch if it would have made a difference, but it worked well enough that I’m going to try them in sidways, and see if I like it like that, better.

Okay! so now that I’ve outted both myself and Debbie (whether she wanted to be outted or not), what I’m wondering is if you all have any other secret or not so secret tips that you use.  It could be anything that might be helpful to the rest of us.  Come on!  Give it up!  We’re all just friends here. 

Things like……………ummmmmm  I use a green make up stick to cover up any red marks (pimples, scars, redness in my cheeks).  See, red and green make brown (basic coloring 101) and so if you have some redness that you want to hide, then get yourself a green make up stick – it will be your newest favorite friend.

Or, another tip would be that if you have stinky feet, to soak your feet in warm tea water.  Something in the tea helps to draw the stench right out of your feet.  So, get a bucket to soak your feet in, fill it with as warm water as your little tootsies can stand, and throw a few tea bags in.  Soak for as long as you can.  Repeat every couple of days, and it will definatly help with the stench.

Another tip would be for headaches……if you are prone to get a lot of headaches (I was before I went to the Naturopath, and she miracle cured me of everything) there are two thigns that you can try.  One is to put your hands into FREEZING COLD WATER for as long as you can stand it, and then pull them out, and then repeat again.  The idea is that the blood rushes toward your hands, and away from your brain, and it helps with the headache.  Then you can try the the opposite……Run your entire head under freezing cold tap water until you have basically frozen your brain out.  It works on the exact opposite principle, by having blood rush to your head.  Both are said to work amazingly.  I’ve done the hand one, but haven’t ever tried out the frozen head thing – the hand one did work by the way, and so I’d assume that the head one would work as well.

Okay, so there are a few of my tips…..you got anything else for me??????