Gelica – Page 8 – xangelle.com

My Sweet Girl

I remember the night that Angelica was born.

Early Morning Birthday Math – doesn’t everybody celebrate this way???

I was feeling some contractions, but I totally didn’t believe that they were contraction because they didn’t hurt. I was expecting 8-10 hours or more of pain…..THAT was labour. Anything else was just that whole “pre-labour” stuff that the books and our class had talked about and what I was experiencing was not even sort of painful.

I was desperate to avoid going to the hospital only to be sent home saying that I had hours and HOURS of labour left to go. And so I just continued on with my afternoon and evening. My mom came over and she seemed intent on convincing me that I was in labour but regardless of the fact that she had given birth to 5 kids of her own…..she obviously didn’t understand how this worked….

I told her to smile, I wanted to get a “14” picture! Nice Crazy Eyes!

Finally I got the point that the contractions were sharp enough to take my breath away and to even make my eyes tear up a bit and at that point I agreed to go to the hospital. From what I remember of our short trip down Willingdon, I fussed and complained to Jon the entire way about how they were gonna send me home and how I’d be devastated. And sure enough, when we walked into the ER the triage nurse tried to blow me off and then I had a contraction. Then she asked me a question and I had another contraction. Then she asked if I had had 2 contractions while I was having a third……then she said to forget the paperwork and to come right on up to the maternity ward. I had another one while waiting for the elevator, another one in the elevator and another one as I stepped off the elevator. The next hour is a bit of a blur. I remember pieces of it but basically, within the hour Angelica was born.

She was so cute and tiny and had this shocking black head of hair.

And that………that was the beginning.

My 14 year old

Now, my baby is 14 and its amazing how fast the time has flown by. Yes, there are times when I felt (and feel) like the months, weeks, days, heck the minutes…..are dragging by but really….I blinked and now she’s so grown up.

I got married at 19…….that’s in 5 years. Wow! That’s almost unbelievable!

Geli woke up on her birthday and was ready the fastest she’s been in……well, in a really long time, but I think she was excited to go to school and before she could go to school she had to go and get blood drawn to see what her counts were at so that we knew whether she was going to get the next dose of chemo on Tuesday.

Jon took her to get her blood work and then dropped her off at school “on time”. Angelica pranked one of her friends by dumping a bunch of Millet Puffs into her locker for her birthday. So when her friend opened her locker, there was a giant mess of puff balls that poured out of her locker, onto the floor and her friend says that she still has little puffs in her locker.

WHAT A MESS!

I think Geli was a bit nervous and a bit excited to see how her friends were gonna get her back. Here is her locker.

It was wonderful that the way that everything worked out that #1. Geli’s counts were high enough that she could be at school, #2 that they were able to delay her Chemotherapy by one day so that she could be at school and #3 that Geli was healthy and feeling well and able to enjoy her birthday with her friends……

She even got presents at school…..fun, fun!

After school, we had a few more gifts to give to her….

Siah had chosen this little monkey key ring. If you pressed a button on his head, he would say make monkey noises and his eyes would light up….it was a lot cuter than it sounds. It sounds kinda creepy just like that.

He was so excited to give her her present. it was really cute to watch him, although I’m not sure if he really wanted to give her the monkey….he was pretty excited about it himself.

Dinner was something that Geli loves and then the rest of the evening just went smoothly. Looking back on the weekend, I was just so thankful at how everything had turned out in her favor. It was an amazing weekend and one that I’m sure she will remember as a highlight of this past year.

My Sweet Girl,

I pray this new year in your life is full of love and laughter and family and friends and especially health. I love you immeasurably and I’m so excited as I watch you growing up into a gorgeous young woman.

This past year was the hardest you’ve faced yet and yet in spite of all that you’ve gone and are going through – you are thriving. You are so brave and you are learning about how much strength you actually have.

Even though there are times that we wish we never knew how strong we actually are……we all go through tough times and we come out the other end with strength and compassion and a new level of understanding for others who are struggling or going through their own hard times. These are all amazing character traits and I proudly watch you as you embrace everything that comes to you.

Keep smiling when you are happy and crying when you are sad…..being “true and real” about what you are feeling and how you are doing is another amazing thing. Hiding or pretending doesn’t help anything.

Be true to yourself.
Laugh Hard.
Love Harder! and…..
LIVE everyday with passion.

I love you sweetheart!

Your Momma

Birthday Weekend Continued

Saturday morning, the girls woke up (eventually) and we made a “Big Breakfast“. That’s what our family calls the weekend “eggs, bacon or sausage, homemade hash browns and toast” breakfast. It was delicious! Then the girls hung out until 3pm. It is so amazing to hear Geli giggling and having fun. The down times (and there are lots of them) really create contrast for the good times and we try to really appreciate and enjoy the good times.

The rest of Saturday involved produce shopping at the local veggie market, and then some cousin time. My cousins dropped off their 3 boys and went out for a date. It was so awesome to see the boys and we are looking forward to dumping our brood on them in the future and heading out for a dinner ourselves.

Sunday morning was spent making a turkey dinner for Geli’s Birthday meal. Technically, her birthday was on Monday, but we asked both sets of Grandparents to come over for lunch, after their churches let out, to celebrate.

We kinda forgot to take too many pictures, but Geli did remember and grabbed my camera and took a few. This one was just after lunch was finished. The guys are relaxing in the post turkey haze and checking out You Tube Videos. We worked on cleaning up the kitchen for a bit before we served dessert. Truth be told, we needed a moment to let the delicious lunch settle to make a bit of room for dessert.

We recently picked up some meat from M&M Meat Shops with a gift card that we were given and we got a free apple pie with our order. Geli really wanted to have it for her birthday and so we heated it up to serve with ice cream. It had wheat in it so there were a few of us that couldn’t eat it and so I made a dessert that was good for those of us who couldn’t eat it.

This is a raw papaya, banana pie and it was AMAZING. I made another one that was a raw blueberry, pear pie and althought I didn’t eat a piece of it – Jon said that it was delicious too.

The base is made from pecans and dates and then I placed thin slices of papaya on top of the base and purreed some banana and papaya together and poured it over the top of the slices. Then just before I served it, I cut up some banana slices and sprinkled it with some coconut. MMMMmmmmm!

We rounded out the day with a game of Settlers of Catan!

This past weekend was so nice. We weren’t running around trying to get everything done. We were mostly just at home and enjoying spending good quality family time together. There was food & games and it was just about the most perfect weekend……and we hadn’t even made it to Angelica’s actual birthday. Let the partying continue.

14th Birthday Party

It was Angelica’s 14th Birthday yesterday and we’ve basically celebrated non-stop since Friday.

We were woken up at 6am on Friday morning to the melodious sounds of someone barfing!

Jon ran upstairs and found Geli hunched over the toilet retching and heaving. He got her some anti-nausea meds and helped her get settled back into bed while I nursed the baby back to sleep. I was SO concerned that Geli might have picked up whatever felled 4 out of the 7 of us. It was supposed to be her birthday party on Friday evening and I was so upset.

This whole cancer/chemo thing is a massive head trip because you never really know what’s going on. She could be barfing from the chemo or it could be from a bacteria or it could be something else entirely. She could be feeling tired because she stayed up too late, because she’s getting sick, because her hemoglobin is low, because the chemo is hard on her body or any other number of things. Some of the issues are serious and some are less serious. Regardless, there is so much uncertainty and SO. MUCH. STRESS. so much of the time. It’s very wearing.

We all managed to get back to sleep and slept until just after 7am. When the whole family got up for the day, Geli joined us at the table all ready for school and she was feeling fine. So, we dropped her off at school and carried on with the day.

After school, Geil came home and started getting ready for her party. She’s been thinking about her birthday party since before Christmas and she had decided to have a fondue.

We set up a cheese fondue, an oil fondue and for dessert, a chocolate fondue.

Angelica has the most amazing friends.

These girls are so thoughtful, loving and encouraging; and I’m so thrilled that they are a part of Geli’s (and ours) life.

There was a cake pyramid and I was horrified that I couldn’t find any candles….and so we made do with one gnome!

Geli came up with the idea for the cake pyramid. We could have made an actual cake with icing, but Geli said that she just wanted to be able to dip the cake pieces into the chocolate fondue.

There were presents and lots of laughs…..

And there was some sneaky sampling…..

But really, he was just “helping” to make sure that it tasted ok and that it wasn’t gross……ya we’ll go with that…it was the Quality Control Sample.

The girls had a great time and Geli had a wonderful birthday sleep over with her friends. It went even better than what I had hoped for.

Behind the Scenes….

This is what has been happening at our house, last night and this morning…

We had a great family get together yesterday afternoon and then Xani started barfing. Between last night and this morning she barfed 7 times….and we won’t event talk about what else was going on “behind the scenes” if you know what I mean….This morning she woke up with a fever…..this is so frustrating.

We moved Xani’s mattress into the TV room mostly to keep her and Geli separated. We are desperately hoping and praying that this “whatever it is” will skip Geli.

Over the weekend, Geli had a reaction to a bandaid and we think it’s a combination of the adhesive and the one chemo drug that she’s getting. Something similar happened once before. She has a bunch of blisters on her arm around where they drew blood on Wednesday and it hurts really bad. We have been applying Polysporin and praying that it just goes away and doesn’t cause any big problems. Her counts are high enough that we are hoping that she will be able to fight it off herself.

She did throw up her breakfast this morning though which scored her the right to stay at home today. And seeing as she is fine other than that barf…..I’m saying that it’s chemo related and not sickness related….at least it seems that way.

Jeremy also woke up this morning with his own “behind the scenes” action and he’s been alternately laying on the couch and laying in the bath this morning…..really not feeling very well at all. He keeps threatening to barf and we have a bowl close by, just in case.

There is a lot of soup and weak peppermint tea being handed out and we are praying that whatever this is….that it just stops now.

I was SO looking forward to everyone going back to school and Jon and I being able to relax on his one day off and nope…….so I’m pouting and whining a bit. I’ll be ok, but I’ve had enough of vomiting and diarrhea to last me a life time….

While I’m cleaning up vomit and other behind the scene messes…..do you have any humorous life stories to share with me? I’d love to hear from you….and I could really use the laugh today!

Another Chemo Day…..

Geli and Jon went into BC Children’s Hospital today for some chemotherapy.

We dosed her up on some heavy duty anti-nausea meds before she left and she seems to be responding well this afternoon/evening. Not feeling sick or icky, just a little loopy, but we’ll take loopy over barfy, anyday.

We took Angelica into the BC Biomedical Labs yesterday so that we would know what her blood counts were, as her chemo is count dependent. Basically, her counts have to be at a certain level in order for her to continue on with the chemotherapy this round. If they are too low, we must wait for them to come up. If they are low, but not scary low, then they continue on but give her the same dose as the last time and if they are all still amazing, then they continue on increasing the chemo as long as she tolerates it.

We went to Granville Island yesterday and it was such a nice time out. We left shortly after getting Geli’s blood draw and managed to make it there just in time for lunch. We had packed a lunch and had planned on having a picnic, but once we got there it was too cold for us baldies to stay outside and so we found a table inside and ate our lunch there.

After that we wandered around a bit and around 2pm we got the blood work results. Her counts were ok, but her platelets were low and that is something that we had wondered about as she didn’t stop bleeding after she got her blood draw in the morning. She soaked through the bandaid that they had given her and needed a kleenex in the van on the way home. We finally got that under control, but that incident had made us wonder about her platelets and yes….they were low, but not low enough to need a transfusion.

We talked with our nurse, Suzanne and weren’t sure what was planned as far as her moving forward, but we finally got the news that she would be continuing on with the chemo, but that they would give her the same dose as last time.

And so this morning, she got chemo into her spinal fluid via a lumbar puncture as well as two other chemo drugs intravenously through her port.

She’s done well and we are hoping that she continues to do well.

If you are willing to pray for her, please pray:

– that she gets no mouth sores
– that she gets no headaches (this was the worst side effect of the last dose, a week of headaches)
– that she feels well and not sick to her tummy (barfing sucks)
– that she is able to sleep well (she has had quite a bit of trouble with her sleep)
– that she will be able to enjoy the next week leading up to her birthday
– that she will be well and healthy for her birthday party, next Friday
– that her girlfriends will be well and healthy for her birthday party
– that our family is healthy and strong
– that we get some rest (the two little boys have been struggling with sleep)
– that we feel able to manage all that is required of us

Oh, and as a child fighting a life threatening illness, Angelica gets to “Make a Wish”. She is thinking about what she would like for her wish. We would love for her wish to be an amazing one that really blesses her so if you were interested in praying for favor for her, that would be awesome.

The Going’s On Around Here

I’ve been a bit scarce as of late.

I’ve been running at full tilt just trying to stay and keep on top of things and while it’s kind of working – I’ve had little to no “me” time and so that means no blog posts.

Hiding

I’ve stolen a moment while the baby is sleeping and yet I feel guilty because if I don’t clean, then I’ll be further behind, but…..I’ve not stopped typing, have I?

In my mind, I can see that the end of this whole year of crap may be starting to settle down, coming to a close. I can see that a new chapter is coming soon and so we’ve been taking steps to prepare for that time.

I mentioned a post or two ago that I had gained more weight than I’m comfortable with and so the first thing that I did was to start to count calories AND to only eat whole foods while avoiding dairy, wheat and soy. It’s still going ~~well~~ and as of today I’ve lost 7 pounds. While it’s not difficult, per se, it’s not “fun” and yet, I’m not interested in being uncomfortable and so I carry on.

It’s amazing how much more energy I have when I eat only healthy foods. In some ways, it feels like a light has turned on in an other wise dark place and I can see more of what I need to do and for the most part, I’ve even scraped together the energy to accomplish what is required right now.

Eyelashes

Over the past 9 months things have been quite chaotic and with the amount of stress that we are under, there are some important (to me) things that have slipped or been lost in all the stress and chaos. Kids helping out around the house and being a part of the daily chores and just pitching in……all of those kinds of things have slipped over the past 9 months and while the kids have “had” to step up in some ways, in other ways, it’s all just been too much for them.

I know how strung out I’ve felt and so its been a combination of giving them some leniency and also just not having the energy to “make things happen”…..Regardless, I hoped that if I could just hold on….that maybe we might get to a position where I didn’t feel like I was drowning. We are getting close. In some ways, I feel like I use up all of my reserves by about 3pm and then I’m just existing until the eveing. With each day that passes, I gain another couple of minutes, but it always surprises me how things like grocery shopping or a huge melt down with one of the kids can deplete what energy I have.

This is in sharp contrast to last July right after Geli was diagnosed and Judah was born, when even just sitting on the couch watching my kids felt like too much to deal with.

Brothers

The week before Spring break we decided to switch things up. The kids were fighting and bickering and it was not cool. We took away all of the kids electronic entertainment and banned them from the computers and video games (we don’t have cable). On top of that, we told the kids that there was going to be an afternoon schedule and that there would be a “treat” if the schedule was kept and everything got done.

The schedule looked like this:

3-4pm Homework
4-5pm Play while 1 kid helps to make dinner (take turns helping)
5-5:45pm Dinner Time
5:45-6:15pm “EVERYONE” helps to clean up the kitchen
6:15-6:45pm Get Ready for Bed
6:45pm “Surprise”
8pm Bed Time / Lights out

Aunty Ruth’s Sweater

The kids mostly followed the schedule for the whole week prior to Spring Break and it was awesome. We had a Family Breakfast on Saturday morning and we talked with the kids about how they felt the week went and the response was very positive. The kids ALL mentioned how much nicer the week was because they mostly got everything done and the house was clean and we got to have some family time each night.

This week has not been quite as on schedule because of Spring Break, but we will be right back at it starting on Friday. I always like to get back into the “routine” a few days before school starts up again so that the kids are already “in” their routines and not just forced to get back into the swing of things so abruptly.

I’ve been trying really hard to stay on top of everything and to not let things slip. For the most part it’s working, but I do need to find out how to have some “me” time in the middle of all of this. My milk supply has dropped quite a bit and seeing as we are not even remotely ready to wean, I’m doing all I can to up it again. I made a big batch of Milk Increasing Herbal Tea and have been drinking that and chugging a ton of water on top of that. I’ve also been trying to make myself sit and really rest for a little bit. I’ll admit, that I find that to be a bit more difficult because there is just so much to do, but I’ve already noticed a difference and Judah seems to be a bit happier as well.

Smiles

Geli is heading in for another dose of Chemo on Thursday so we’d love some prayer that she’d handle this next dose well. She has 2 more doses, including this one and then we wait for the next round to start…..Every day, takes us one day closer to the end.

Things have been busy, but we are gaining ground, I think?!? It’s slow going, but we will make it through this.

It Strikes

Josiah woke up at 2am last night and barfed.

Jon got him cleaned up and changed his bed and then Judah woke up. These two little boys can play a masterful game of parental sleep deprivation. It’s been just over a week of brutal sleeping habits and this is just the icing on the cake.

Both boys were sleeping somewhat soundly at just after 3am and the next barfing episode didn’t happen until just after 6am, and fortunately for us, that’s when Judah decided to wake up as well.

As we were getting ready this morning, Jon was musing about how he felt better this morning than he has for the past week.

I casually remarked that we were so blessed. We got 3 straight hours of sleep and that’s why we feel so amazing.

Yes……we are that sad. 3 hours of sleep is like heaven. We are giddy over here and it’s all because of 3 measly hours of sleep. Wow, that’s is just so sad!

After the 6am barfing session, Josiah managed to completely clean out his stomach at 7am onto my bed…..

Here is the stripped bed and his bowl and a surprisingly chipper little guy.

Right now he is laying on the couch next to me watching Max and Ruby……and can I just say, Ruby has the MOST annoying voice.

We are desperately praying for this bug to skip Angelica (and the rest of us)….Siah has a bit of a fever and a fever is an automatic trip to the hospital for Geli and so we are really, Really, REALLY not wanting her to get sick right now.

So Grown Up!

Jon and Geli have headed into BC Children’s Hospital again today. She has chemo today and tomorrow. She’s been feeling a bit off and we are having to give her more meds to combat the nasty feeling. It’s not fun. Her spirits are doing well though….and for that we are so thankful.

A little while ago we had talked about her getting all dressed up when she had to go into the hospital and then seeing if people recognized her and today was the day. She looks so grown up, doesn’t she? Those are my boots and my sweater. Man, I remember when I could fit into my mom’s stuff and it was right around this age….12, 13, 14 years old.

Angelica is just a few weeks away from turning 14….April 4th is the big day. So fun! She’s been planning her birthday for a few months now. She LOVES to plan and organize and she’s been working on fine tuning all the plans for a while now. She’s really looking forward to this party and I love that she’s looking forward to something with so much anticipation.

15 out of 56

Well, we are 15 days (2+ weeks) into Delayed Intensification 2 which is 56 days long (8 weeks). This is the second to last stage before Maintenance. So far, Geli has had a Lumbar Puncture, one dose of Intrathecal Methotrexate (into her spinal fluid), one dose of Peg L-asparaginase divided into two shots (one in each thigh). She has had two doses of Vincristine and 2 doses of Methotrexate (both of those into her port in her chest).

She has been doing pretty well. There have been some down times, some barfy feeling moments, and a lot of great moments. Some times the chemo makes food and water taste “off” and that sucks. Sometimes, it’s difficult to sleep and yet regardless of how much sleep Geli does get, she feels overly tired most of the time.

Her body is working overtime to heal and process the poison injected into it and she’s fighting so hard and most definitely winning this race.

Geli has been at school all last week, except for Thursday when she had to go in for her last chemo dose. She has no chemo this week and we are planning for another great week at school.

As her parents, we are thrilled to see her attending school, hanging out with her friends, just being as normal as is possible in this crazy situation.

She is working hard on her grade 8 school work and while she’s not done as much work as is required from her school mates, she’s done really well on keeping up to date with the essential assignments that her teachers have given to her.

Angelica and a friend scored a perfect mark on an oral presentation that they have been working on over the past month or so. That was definitely a bright spot over this last week.

We’ve been out walking most days and the exercise and fresh air are wonderful. You don’t realize how much you take your health for granted until you spend a huge portion of a year not feeling well and laying on a couch and then you realize that even a simple walk requires almost more effort than you have to give. BUT….summer’s coming and swimming is important enough that we are trying to build up strength so that we will be able to swim without needing a life jacket or having to rest after 5 mins.

We are really, REALLY looking forward to summer. Angelica will be on Maintenance and we will be defining a new normal and this summer will be a most welcome break from this past year. I think that we are all looking forward to a bit of a relaxing summer.

I’ve been trying desperately to stay on top of the house and have been running at warp speed from morning till night and unfortunately most of the night too (thank you very much children). I’ve had almost no down time and I’m desperate for summer with no homework, a bit more of a relaxed schedule, once a month visits into the hospital, no deadlines……I can’t wait.

We have managed to turn our house up side down and I think its a good thing, BUT…..it’s not without it’s challenges. We did move our bedroom down to the basement along with the two little boys. Geli and Xani are up in what was the master bedroom. Jeremy is still is his room and we’ve moved the “TV/Rec Room” up to the big room that used to be Siah’s. I will try to get pictures soon, but so far this particular room arrangement is working well.

Xani is still struggling pretty hard and it’s difficult to watch her struggle and hurt.

Jeremy is rocking his Lego Root Camp and just being Jeremy. Recently, we tweaked the meds that he’s taking and it’s made a great difference.

Josiah is 3 years old and while the whiny voice and testing of behavior is not the most fun….he’s doing really well. I believe that he’s settled greatly from the initial chaos and while there are still things that we can and will work on with him….he’s doing SO much better. We’ve been trying to color a bit and he’s loves to spend one on one time with anyone. He stresses a bit about not knowing “how” to color and wants to have one of us color “with” him by putting our hand over his, but we keep practicing and he’s getting a bit more confident that he “can” color all by himself.

Judah is getting so big and I can hardly believe that 8 months have past us by. While I’m still not eating wheat (he seemed to have some gluten issues), soy or dairy….the intestinal issues that Judah was dealing with seem to have settled and he is doing much better. I have never really had a baby who has eating issues and yet, Judah is giving me a run for my money.

He will eat rice puffs or rice cakes or potato puffs any time any where, but try to give him some thing that might actually have taste or nutritional value in it and he clamps his lips and crosses his arms in front of his face and uses his arms in a windshield wiping motion to knock the spoon out of your hand.

I’ve tried to see if he will feed himself and it’s very hit and miss and so I’m not stressing about it too much because I don’t want to “create” a HUGE issue. He’ll eat when he eats and seriously…..it’s not like he’s wasting away, eh? He’s quite the chunk!

He has the sweetest personality and is so happy and squish-able and lovable and we are just so thrilled he is ours. (I just wish he’d sleep a little more consistently – he can….it’s just very hit and miss and I think that more sleep would make this whole situation just a little easier to handle.)

All said, we are doing okay! I wouldn’t say that things are the MOST AMAZING EVER, but we are surviving. One day at a time, we are making it through this…….A lot of that is due to you and your prayers, encouragement, love and support……we are so thankful to you all.

Oh Man….

well, life just keeps on flying by and I keep thinking I should post something and then, I have no energy to do so….

In bullet points:

– Geli started Chemo on Monday
– She got chemo shots into her thighs on Tuesday
– She went back to school on Wednesday (hopefully for a good portion of the next month)
– Jeremy is LOVING the newest Robot Camp
– Jeremy will do ANYTHING for a Lego mini fig (He cleaned the kitchen spotless is less than 15 mins and that is basically a Christmas Miracle)
– Xandra caught up on ALL her homework (because I bought the latest Maximum Ride Series Book and wouldn’t let her read it until everything was up to date)
– Geli is ALMOST caught up on her homework but she was really, REALLY behind.
– Geli is having a hard time adjusting to a “normal schedule” (She’s finding it hard to get to sleep at night and as a result is overly tired in the morning making mornings a bit tougher than they should be)
– I saw the psychologist at BCCH yesterday and cried too much (now I’m just trying to process everything and trying to figure out what I’m going to do moving forward)
– We are contemplating our living arrangements and trying to figure out is there is a better room allocation that would work for us.
– Jon’s scheduled appointment to give blood is tomorrow morning.
– Megamind comes out on DVD today and we are planning to watch it tonight as a family.
– Baby turned 8 months old yesterday and his cousins came to play and I have a bazillion photos to plow through today.
– I love my sisters. Am thinking of them lots today. They are AMAZING!
– I am having too many “I should be doing…..” thoughts and it’s wrecking my life….I need to think through and just “DO” and not get so caught up in what I should be doing. It’s harder to do than it might seem.
– About the previously mentioned room allocation….would you consider turning the basement into the “master bedroom”? Why or why not? Any thought?
-And with that I’m out….I’ve got a mountain (5 large loads) of laundry that I need to fold. Ick!

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