Category: CRAP

More on toilet troubles

*** Guest post by Jon ***

Tonight I removed 2 eye liners, 1 lipstick, a pen, and 14 barbie shoes from the girls’ toilet. It took about 12 seconds to put them there, and about 35 minutes to remove. The first toilet that only had 1 well placed pen took about and hour and a half, but now I am experienced at removing toilets, dumping the excess water out, flushing them out upside-down, resealing and replacing them, and then disinfecting the lavatory. Only 2 more toilets to fix…

Hopefully the 2 yr old will find a new hobby soon.

Good times.

Guest Post – recent noteables

*** Guest Post by Jon ***

As Patti is consumed with prego related stuff, I thought I would jump on here and record some of the fun little things that have been going on here that I will want to come back and read one day later. You know the saying “One day you’ll look back and laugh”… That saying means that you are not laughing now and yet you need the presence of mind to record the events, ’cause you know that one day you might just snicker a little.

File these under 2 yr old experiments…
1) Both boys stayed home sick today and I got the short straw and Patti went into the office. I was helping J with some overdue homework (and working at passing another level of his video game) and Siah got into Patti’s makeup. He poured an entire bottle of foundation makeup on his hair and then covered that with a liberal helping of baby powder. Then he applied the same mixture to the new flooring in the bathroom and skated in it. Turns out that the foundation is oil based and took eight wash and rinse cycles with our not-so-cheep-hippie shampoo to get out (and he still had a nice skin-tone hue in his hair for the rest of the day).

2) Tonight, Siah found a tube of antibiotic cream and dosed his hair one more time (in case you are counting, this is the same day as #1). This effectively used up the rest of the shampoo. I will say that he has had a life-long aversion to getting his hair washed. He got soap in the eyes once and since then, he freaks and goes into the fetal position whenever I go to rinse his hair. When he has a good lather on, the fetal position does an effective job of getting more soap in his eye, thus proving again that shampoo is bad. Today we cured that. The last shampoo (I think this is lather and rinse cycle #15) he managed to stay looking up through the whole rinsing cycle. Attaboy!

3) OK, this is the one that I really need to record so that I can look back and laugh… I now own three new wax rings for my toilets. These are nifty little seals that connect your toilet to your floor/plumbing. You see, you need these whenever you have to remove your toilet, because they are not reusable. I have four toilets in my home, and Siah has become fascinated with the flusher knob / spinning water / gurgling sounds / filling up again thing. He has a particular interest in watching his precious movements go round and round and round and down. Because he cannot repeat the movements often enough for his interest level to be satisfied, he has gone through our house in search of poo-sized objects that he can use instead. Right now, I have three toilets that will not flush at all. I own an industrial toilet plumbing snake (He is our forth kid and we have learned a few things), but no dice! The snake does not move the water one bit. I mentioned that we have four kids, and it seems that non-flushing toilets are fine to use for nasty, disgusting colon cleansings, or at least they are fine until you realise that THEY DON’T FLUSH… OMG! ITS FLOODING!!! HEEEELLLLLLPPPPPP! (I’m keeping a good supply of grade 3 towels on hand).

So I have to 1) convince Siah not to flush anything else down the drain, 2) scoop brown water from the bowls into some bucket that will never get used again for ANYTHING! 3) remove toilets and find and remove blockages (this requires grade 3 towels as well) 4) use the nice new wax rings and replace the toilets.

I Kid You Not… My eldest just came in while I am typing this and told me that toilet #4 is blocked.

one day I’ll laugh.

Simplifying and Cutting Back

I deleted my Facebook Account yesterday.

It was terrifying and exhilarating all at the same time.

See, I hate Facebook! Well, hate might be too strong a word, but I’ve disliked Facebook almost since the day that I signed up.

And why did I sign up for something that I didn’t really like, even at the time?

Good Question?

My honest answer, “Because everyone else was doing it!”

Apparently I’m just a lemming.

I hate getting notifications of group invitations and knowing who’s got a fish tank or who is playing Farmville or who is as sexy as Edward Cullen. I don’t want to know what type of personality you are or to even have friend suggestions for people I don’t know.

It was ego boosting to have people “friend” me at the beginning, but then there were people that I didn’t want to necessarily be “found” by and then what? Do I accept them? Do I reject them? or do I ignore them? It gets messy! I hate messy!

In the end, Facebook was a place where I felt like I was stalking. Ya know, signing in to see what everyone else was up to without ever contributing to the “Facebook world” and really….that’s just HUGE waste of my personal time and so…..POOF! I’m no longer there. Which for me means…..no more time wasted ((cough)on that site!(cough))

I do still have my Twitter account and really that was the only part of Facebook that I really liked (the status updates) and although I haven’t twitted/tweeted (Whatever!!!)…..I haven’t posted a tweet in a while…..I’m hoping that I can – figuratively – OOOOMPH my tired behind off the couch that it’s been parked on and get back to seeing the funny side of life.

I love to update the silly stuff my kids say. For example, Siah pulled this one outta the air the other day.

“Yesterday, I was younger than J.J.”

He’s two, people, how does he even know what “yesterday” means let alone that he was younger. It was all used properly in context and was said as if now, NOW, he was much older than Jeremy.

Obviously we have an incorrect grasp on age, but still….so SO cute coming from his little tiny voice piping outta the back seat of the van and said to no one in particular (he was chattering to himself while we were driving)!

Anyway, anyone who really needs to contact me has my e-mail address or else, we’re not really that close, are we?

I’ll admit, it did feel a bit like I was cutting myself off from a huge section of the world, but really…..am I leaving a part of the world? or am I taking a step forward into my reality?

Questions? Questions?

Only time will tell…………

Breaking the Slump…

It’s been over a month….about a month…..just under a month….I dunno. It’s been a while.

I’ve come to this page so many times over the past few weeks and stared at it blankly – not sure what to say or where to start. It’s unreal how easy it can be to get “out of the habit” of writing. I have wondered if I’m just in a weird space or maybe just in a different place. Maybe I’m not needing this place……or maybe I need this place more than ever and I’m avoiding something that I need the most….I dunno.

A Ghost of MyselfI want to write here. I think about this space all the time. I open up my browser and look at the last entry and think about how guilty I feel that life is flying passed me and I’m not recording any of the details of it and that I’m going to regret that someday. I hate living life with regrets. I think about how I love being able to come here and say what I want….when I want to…about what I want. And then………I’m so tired and feel like whatever I have/want/need to say requires more effort than just not saying anything and so I do nothing. The words and thoughts are all still there…..but just running around inside my brain all messed up. It’s about as awesome as it sounds.

The end of 2009 has been fairly rough for me.

I am not, nor have I ever been, a sick person….and yet….I have been sick for what feels like FOREVER!

I got sick back in the beginning of October with what I’m certain was the swine flu and then basically since then my immune system has been shot. I’ve had one cough/cold/snot thing going on after another after another after another. I’ve had anywhere from 2 days to (I think the longest time of feeling well was) a week of respite, but other than that…its been one nasty germ filled fall/winter and it has completely taken me out mentally/emotionally and more certainly physically.

I’m SO looking forward to this whole “Flu Season” being over and to the warmth and brightness of the summer months. Unfortunately I have about 5-6 months until that season rolls around and as much as I’d like to cocoon myself and my family until then….it’s not possible and so – we soldier on.

I’d like to say that I’m gonna post more but I’m also horrified of lying to myself and to any of the 5 people left reading this sorry excuse for a place on the ‘NET. So, we’ll just leave it at……I’m hoping to FORCE myself to recap the holiday’s (’cause I know that’s EXACTLY what you were hoping I’d talk about, eh? But I promise that I’ll share some pics….aren’t pics worth it?) and maybe…just possibly…….I might be able to drum up the energy to bust myself outta this “slump of silence” and get back with my regularly scheduled blatherings.

I can hope right?!?

Nothing of Value……

I have absolutely nothing of value to say.

I tried 4 times and wrote 4 different posts actual, whole, REALLY SUCKY posts on that day that Jon guest posted and then I gave up and asked if he had anything.

Siah has slept through the night exactly ONCE in the last 2 weeks and that was Saturday night.

He has had 2 allergic reactions complete with bloody diarrhea, vomiting, screaming, and wicked WICKED, gut bloating, stomach rumbling gas. Throw into the middle of that a wicked virus, that I’m guessing attacked because his immune system was compromised, and you have my life over the last 2 weeks.

I’m so freaking exhausted that I can’t think straight.

I’m losing words…you know when you can see the word in your mind or a picture of the word or an idea of what your talking about and you can’t verbalize it…..ya I sound like a complete idiot right now as I struggle for words and they just aren’t coming.

I’m forgetting things….important things.

I don’t do this. I’m an “on top of it” kind of person. I remember everything. I don’t goof up (much).

I figure that conservatively we have been getting about a total of 3-4 hours of sleep a night and that’s been broken up into hour stretches.

I’m an 8hr of sleep a night person and this feels like it’s slowly destroying me.

On top of that, he is miserable and tired and because of that tiredness and cranky-ness, Siah is an absolute MONSTER during the day. After the good sleep on Saturday night, he was his normal happy self on Sunday morning, but after a too short of an afternoon sleep – he once again crossed over into “grouchy bear” territory.

I think about my bed. I fantasize about sleep. I dream about running away from my children and my home and all the packing and moving and sleeping for 2 weeks. I just want a few consecutive days of sleep straight through in a row. It’s so sad.

I really just want my baby to sleep.

And so, I have no idea when I’ll have something exciting to say or even interesting as I’m certain that this is not interesting reading material. Something amazing might happen today and I might scrape together the effort to share it……….or not!

I LOVE to come here and share, but when I’m this tired I’m aware of what that “something to share” sounds (or reads) like. BORING! And so I’ll be back when I can find my brain or my funny or even if I just get a good bit of sleep…..

…to make the weekend a little bit more fun-ner!

And we woke up this morning to Siah barfing.

I seriously cannot believe it. Well, I guess I can as it’s actually true, but good grief.

And, if the barfing weren’t bad enough he’s got a fever of 102*F.

So, I have no idea what this means for my plans for this weekend, but today – I’ll be staying at home today praying that my little boy feels better.

He has fallen back to sleep right now and I’m hoping that he will sleep peacefully for a while. After the initial barf-fest at 5am, he did come to bed and we snuggled and slept and then he woke at at 6:45am and barfed some more. Fun, Fun!

So, I’ll be spending a greater portion of today snuggling my baby. Which except for the sick part, is not a bad way to spend a day.

All Boxed Up

The kids and I declared today that Daddy was terribly nerdly as he requires that ALL our boxes are the same size so that we can pack them and stack them in perfectly neat rows and stacks.

And I thought I was the one with the OCD tenancies inherited from my father and grandmother.

Whew! I am brutal tired right now.

I packed and packed and packed and packed some more.

And I have thrown out half our house – it feels like – and it’s awful the amount of junk that we have collected over the past 8+ years of living here. It’s amazing to me that there is so much crap that I’m not even willing to garage sale, and yet it was too valuable to throw out.

Are you kidding me? WOW!

The worst part of today was when Jon loaded up the van with bags and bags of garbage to take to the dump and a few big garbage bags of clothes to drop off at the thrift store and then he drove off only to call me about 15 minutes later with the news that the dump had new hours and closed at 5pm on weekdays….it was 5:07pm. So that meant that he had to come home and unload all the crap back into our garage. UGH! I can sense the mountain of garbage down there. I was so looking forward to one less thing cluttering up my mind and now it sits there….so SO annoying.

It feels a little weird to have boxed up so much and to have so many bags of garbage and to feel like I’ve not really done anything.

I mean, my house was a bit messy when I started this morning and now it’s pretty clean. Not amazing, but definately WAY BETTER than this morning AND just today, I managed to throw out a bin liner of crap and also to pack away about 15 boxes.

I’m guessing that I do a pretty good job of keeping everything tucked away in behind cupboards and in closets and drawers….I’m liking the fact that my house is looking a little emptier…not as much as you’d think it would look with the number of boxes down in the office/storage area. I’d like to try and keep it that way.

But for now I’m tired……so So SO tired.

And so, I shall go to bed.

I’m off to work tomorrow and then back home and then to my sister’s wedding rehearsal (an hour away) and then home again and them back to my sisters wedding and then to church and then to the evening service, as we are responsible for that this week as well………and so tomorrow starts the crazy busy weekend that I’ve been dreading all week. Not that I’m dreading my sister’s wedding, just the craziness of the whole weekend.

But I am looking forward to moving into my very own house…..and it’s coming soon. Oh So Soon! YIPEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Beware the Vampires

A few weeks ago, it was my niece’s birthday and she had a sleep over.

My two girls went for the party and everything was all fairies and roses and was going along fabulously.

We had some plans that got all re-arranged and we ended up asking my mother-in-law to pick up the girls and she (being the amazing person that she is) agreed. We talked to my sister and all was set up and organized in the exact way that I like it to be. You know, wrapped up with a big red bow and seeming all perfect.

My mother-in-law was actually on her way and had just connected with my sister and mentioned that she’d be there in just a few minutes. That sounded great to everyone and somehow…….someway……in the few minutes between when they chatted on the phone and my mother-inlaw showed up…..everything turned crazily upside down.

Apparently the girls were out in the yard bouncing on the trampoline when my niece went all vampire on Xandra and tried to bite a chunk out of her head.

It, being a good head wound, bled ALL OVER THE FREAKING PLACE and scared the crap outta all the girls. They came running to the house screaming and crying. Xani was holding her head and Bri was holding her chin and…..well….it was not a happy situation.

Chelle got the situation sorted out and Xani was laying on the couch bleeding nicely when Mum arrived…..and after some discussion it was determined that the wound was gaping entirely too much and she should probably have a few stitches.

They got to spend 4 hours in the Maple Ridge ER and came out with this…….

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Pretty, Isn’t it?

Apparently, according to Mum, the ER Doctor was AMAZING. He was so gentle and careful that Xandra didn’t end up with a giant hack mark in her hair. He didn’t have to cut any of the hair around the wound, he just took extra time and stitched carefully and for that I am so grateful.

She was allowed to take a shower that first night to wash all the blood out of her hair, but then she wans’t allowed to wash her hair for the next 4 days – as they were dissolving stiches. Nice!!! And wouldn’t you know that week was the week that she was doing swimming for PE at school. We solved that problem by getting her a swim cap, and by the end of the week, the stitches had dissolved and her head is all better.

She only has the giant nasty scar, but fortunately it is in the scalp and not on her face.

She is such a brave little girl. She didn’t flip out or cry while they were doing the stitches or anything. She told me later that she was just trying to be as calm as she could. What a little cutie.

This evens up the score for the girls. Now both of my girls have had stitches on their heads. I’m hoping that the boys don’t try and even things up on their end.

Still Holding My Breath

It had been so long since we’d had any “major issues” with allergies that I was beginning to wonder if we had totally made it all up or, if at the very least, that we had blown it out of proportion or if Siah was just growing out of it all – because I’d heard that it was possible for some “intolerances” to be grown out of.

It turns out that we are just amazing at being very careful and not letting Siah get “into” any of the things that he’s not supposed to have.

Not an issue with dairy as we are just typically a dairy free home. Soy doesn’t seem to have wicked reations with him. We’ve stopped buying cashews or ANYTHING that would have cashews in it and I didn’t really think that there was too much else.

BOY WAS I WRONG!

We made some crepes the other day and we made a batch with eggs and another one with egg replacer so that Siah could have some with us. I cracked the eggs into the bowl and then asked one of the kids to throw the shells away.

This didn’t happen, and the shells were left on the table. Somehow Siah manages to get up to the table and grabbed the shells. We saw him do it and quickly took them away from and then I asked one of the girls to wash his hands off as he had some of the raw egg white on his fingers. Again, this didn’t happen and I’m guessing that he rubbed his face and within………..5 minutes, he was scratching and clawing at his face. I started to wonder what was up and was panicing trying to figure out what could have happened and within 10 minutes he looked like this……

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I’m not sure if you can see the full extent of the mess, but it felt like within seconds he had gone from fine to brutal. His face was swollen and puffy and red and the hives were turning into blisters and it was horrible.

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We dosed him up with Benadryl and washed his face off and decided to throw him in the bath to see if it would help with washing the stuff off and possibly soothing the irritated skin.

Here he is about 15 minutes after we gave him the Benadryl.

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Despite the trauma of it all, I think that I was more upset about it all, than he was. After the initial attempts at clawing his face off, he seemed to calm down fairly quickly and returned to the happy, easy-going baby that we all know and love.

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Despite how we seemed to “sail” through this allergy attack, it sends me back to a state of feeling like I’m holding my breath. I know that I’ve still got to be careful of what he eats (or rubs on himself). It’s so frustrating and slightly scary. I’m thankful that it was a skin reaction and SOOOOO THANKFUL that we’ve not had to deal with anything more serious than that.

I can’t fathom how awful it must be for someone who sends their baby or child off to school or daycare or with friends or relatives and is unsure of what might or might not happen while their child is not with them. This whole “food allergy” thing is not a joke nor is it something to take or treat lightly.

If you’ve not had a food allergy touch your llife or your child than count yourself blessed and please, PLEASE support those who do have this issue as a part of thier lives. We know first hand how difficult altering your lifestyle is, and we are eternally grateful to all who support us by making the world around our children a safer place for them.

Where are the Poop Flinging Monkey’s When You Need Them……

Last night……..OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH last night.

You only wish that you coulda had “HALF” the fun that we did last night.

So, last night Jon and I watched a movie that I think my littlest brother would like, BUT he’s probably already seen it. Chris?? You seen Nick & Nora’s Infinate Playlist, yet? The whole indie music scene is right up his alley. You should ask him about his cuh-ray-zee music collection – seriously insane, people, SERIOUSLY!

Anyhoo….we watched the movie (It was a little young for us – we are such geezers now), and started it early as we wanted to get to bed early cause we had an early start to the day today. Managed to make it to sleep by 11:30pm. Not early enough, by our standards…..

Anyway, in the middle of the night Jeremy comes into our room clutching his stomach and crying hysterically. It was one of those moments where you go from dead asleep to wide awake with a serious shot of adrenaline in .001 seconds. Not a nice way to wake up at all. He’s crying about how bad his stomach is hurting and how he needs to go to the hospital and how he can’t move or breathe or cry or anything, except that he’s writhing all over the place, breathing at about 1000 miles an hour and, like I said before, crying hysterically.

We’ve been down this road before and even took him to the hospital. We ended up with blood tests, and x-rays and all sorts of fun over a 4 hour period and in the end, the nice doctor even showed us the x-ray and mentioned that the poor kid just needed to “release” a little and he’d be fine.

So, we figured that this was the same situation.

And we were right…..well, if it wasn’t poop, then it was gas, but regardless – it was not worth a hospital visit.

And so,

1) 2 hours,
2) 3 supppositories (oh yah, baby…you try inserting one of those suckers into an 8 year old….not only that, but an 8 year old who is freaking out and screaming and doesn’t understand the concept of just holding “it” all together for 15 – 20 minutes and well……it took 3 tries to be able to wait long enough for the desired effect to take place.)
3) 3 large glasses of water
4) 4 trips to the toilet
5) 3 large belches and
6) 2 nasty farts

….all of that lead us to “the mother load”, which in turn lead us all into being able to go back to bed and to finally getting to sleep.

After all of that, it was only 3:30am…..Jeremy had come into us around 1:30am…we’d only been sleeping for 2 hours when he came in crying.

So, when the alarm went off at 5:45am, I cried. The End!

ps. It’s been a very tired day, today! To say the least……