I am SOOOOOOOOO excited……like a giddy schoolgirl on Christmas Morning excited.
Go ahead and click on the first page and it will take you to a preview of my book. It’s still not quite finished. I’ve got work, still, to finish up the cover and what I’d like to consider is my signature End Page……ha!
This process has been incredibly exhilarating and exhausting.
I am loving seeing my dreams come to life. I’ve dreamed about writing books since I was a little girl. I dreamed and dreamed and dreamed and dismissed those dreams as frivolous. Anxiety, Self Condemnation and Judgment told me that I was ridiculous to even think about doing something as silly as writing books; even though I spent hours enthralled within the worlds inside my childhood books.
So, I dismissed those dreams. I pushed them down and tried to ignore the longing to “ignite wonder” in children’s minds. Over the years, I’ve written many little stories and songs….mostly for my children, about my children…..and told and sung them to my children.
Seeing this book unfolding and coming to life……it feels like I am starting to breathe after holding my breath for far too long. You know that moment when you break through the surface of the water after being under for a moment longer than you can actually stand…..
And yet, it’s terrifying and exhausting. I feel like I’m in an epic battle.
I feel determined that anxiety won’t win this battle and yet everything in me wants to go back into hiding. It feels safer there (except that whole drowning thing, doesn’t feel all that great). It’s less vulnerable to just keep things status quo. It’s hard to put yourself out there, especially when there is still a huge part of you that doesn’t really believe that you have anything worth contributing. And it’s those thoughts, that I’m determined to…..to… prevail over.
It often feels too terrifying, too exhausting, too overwhelming……to move forward. And yet, I’m holding on to the life giving moments as well and trusting that I’m ready and able to take these next steps.
I don’t even know what the next steps are….but I’m going to figure that out. I hope you’ll come along for the journey. It’s always better to do things with your friends, than to do them alone.