Category: Pregnancy

30 Weeks – OH! MY! GOODNESS!

Here I am at 30 weeks.  To see the whole set of pregnancy pictures, just click on the photo, and it’ll take ya there. 

Wow, I can hardly believe that I’ve made it to 30 weeks already!  I remember December 1st, and peeing on a stick in the Langly Superstore washroom, and being so excited and surprised and scared and shocked and really quite unbelieveing and just about every other emotion that you can list. 

It’s been such a roller coaster of a journey up until this point, and while I know that we are not at the end yet…..time just seems to be creeping up on me, and I’m so not ready yet.

Well, that’s not entirely true.  I was ready to be holding my baby a LOOOOOOOOONG time ago, but I don’t have “things” ready for this baby.  “Things” like the crib and change table and diaper bag and paint for the room, and cloth diapers and well….most everything!  I had a melt down on Jon today!  It kinda feels like he’s not really been supportive of getting ready for this baby.  Not that he’s not been supportive, ’cause that is so NOT the case…………….BUT, when I’ve asked about buying things or talked about different things that we need to get – he’s not shown me much excitement.  He’s been very non-commital about it all.

I don’t know if it has anything to do with his own hurts and fears for the future based on passed events, or if he just doesn’t care about getting it all done “perfectly” or if he’s just been too busy…….or what?

It’s stressing me out that certain things aren’t done, and tht I really don’t have any clear time line for when they will be done.  We also went shopping today and I was particularly frustrated that we came home empty handed.

With Jon working 16 hour days all last week, he told me that we’d take today off, and I had a Doctor’s Appointment this morning, and then we’d go shopping for a crib and dresser/change table.

My Doctor’s appointment went so good.  I was concerned about the Gestational Diabetes, and NO WORRIES!  I passed the test with amazing numbers, although I don’t know what those numbers were.  All I know is that he said that everything was fabulous, and I totally didn’t need to worry about gestational diabetes.  PHEW!  One less thing to occupy my overloaded brain.  He had also gotten the results back from the ultrasound that I had on Tuesday, and everything is looking perfect.  Baby is measuring perfectly on target, and they estimated his weight to be totally average at 3 and half pounds.

I had only gained 1 pound in the last 5 weeks, which almost makes up for the 12 pounds I did in the month before that.  I weigh 196 pounds, which to me is unbelievable.  I weighed well over 200 pounds just starting out the previous 3 pregnancies, and so to be under 200 with 10 weeks left is fabulous.  With Geli I was 214 pounds when I delivered.  So, if I am anywhere under that, I am some kinda happy!  Not that I’m aiming for that number, but around 200 was my goal for the end of this pregnancy.  Looks like I’m on schedule.  YAH!

The heartbeat was 148 bpm, and my blood pressure was 100/60.  Baby is still head down.  The ultrasound tech told us that on Tuesday, and I am so thrilled ’cause for the LOOOOOONGEST time, he was breech, and I was startng to worry that he might get too comfortable in that position, and I really don’t want to have a c-section if I can possibly avoid it.  The doctor figured that he was down today as well, and that would comfirm the fact that I can feel his little bum just under my right ribcage…….it was either a bum or a head, and I really hoped that I wasn’t poking at his head!

I am now into the 2 week appointments, and have to go back on the 15th of June to see him again.  I have a list of questions, and should probably start writing them down for that appointment – ya think?  It’s hard to believe that we’re getting so close. I know I keep saying that, but as much as I hoped, I don’t know that at the beginning that I really believed that I’d be here right now. 

We drove into Baby’s World (just off the Lougheed Hwy – beside the IKEA), and looked at the crib set there.  FREAKING CRAP!  They were expensive.  I’ve been saving up money, but I don’t have that much!  I do really want to get a matching set for this child.  So, we are still looking.  We did find something that we can be happy with at the Bay, but it’s only a crib and change table, there isn’t a matching dresser.   It’s hard to match up the wood and the style when you buy pieces seperately.  The sales associate told us that they have sales on the baby furniture every 3 weeks, and so we will keep checking back until that set goes on sale, and if we find a better set in the mean time, then we won’t worry about it.

Although it was a nice day with Jon, it still felt like a colossal waste of time ’cause we accomplished nothing.  I’m hoping that we can pick up the paint tomorrow, and get started first thing next week.  

I’m still not sure what I am going to do about the crib bedding.  I though that I had something picked out, and that Jon liked it, and then he “very non-commitally” changed his mind…………….AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHH!  It’s okay!  I’ll be okay once things start to fall into place, and I’ve told Jon that I want the majority of the “Stuff” finished by July 1st.  I don’t want to be fiddling with the big stuff when the kids are home from school for the holiday’s.  Fortunately for Jon, school is in until the 28th of June!  Then I just have to figure out what to do with myself and the kids for the month of July, and then we’re good to go.  YAH!   Can you tell I’m excited?  Just a little bit???

Is it really still this week?

I have a hard time believeing that I wrote that post only 4 days ago.

This has been the LOOOOOOONGEST week ever, and truthfully – It’s not over, yet……

Tuesday I was part of a pre-conference all day meeting that was pretty fun.  Wednesday I was able to make it in to see Chris, although he was a bit backed up, and I didn’t get to see him as much as I would have liked to.  I got home from seeing him, and had a message waiting for me on my home phone……..from my doctor’s office……the Obstetrical Doctor……telling me not to worry, just to call…………..

Yah Right!  Those calls are almost NEVER good!  So, I call back, but I know it’s about the gestational diabetes test that I took last week.  YUP!  I flunked the one hour test, and have to go in  for the 3 hour.

It oculd have been worse news.  I could have had such bad levels that they would have just sent me to the gestational diabetes clinic, and we could have carried on from there.

Apparently, the cut off level is 7.8, and I was at an 8.4 – anything higher than a 10.3, and I would have had a direct pass to the clinic.  So, I still have a chance at passing the 3 hour, although when I went in to pick up the requisition from the office yesterday, the nurse didn’t really think that would be the case.  I’ll just have to show her……

So, I called my naturopath, to ask a few questions, and she has put me on some stuff that is supposed to level my blood sugar levels, and I’m back HARD CORE on the candida diet cause it’s supposed to also stabilize blood sugar levels.  So much fun – not!

I will admit that the news that I had flunked came at a not-so-fabulous time.  I am doing okay emotionally.  Not fabulous, but better than really bad!  With everything else that is going on, this one more piece of news kinda pushed me over the edge and I had a bad night on Wednesday night.  Kept obsessing about everything, and couldn’t sleep until after 2am.  Nice, eh?  Especially as I had to get up at 6:30am the next morning to take a shower before I started Thursday.

Thursday was a crazy busy day.  Did a ton of running around, and had to drive into Langley to pick up the Meds from the Naturopath, and was supposed to pick up one thing from a Pharmacy, but I hit 3 different ones, and it wasn’t available at any of them.  I had to blast home ’cause the kids were walking – at least that gave me a few extra minutes.  It’s the difference between thinking that I have to go and pick them up around 2:30pm, or they come home around 3pm.  Their schoool actually gets out at 2:48pm, but if you want a parking spot you have to come a bit early, and you have to factor in the driving time (even if it is only 3 minutes) – when they walk home – I don’t even have to think about them until they show up just after 3pm – that is soooooo nice!

So, last night after I gave a really lame attempt at getting the kids off to bed (Jon normally does the bedtime routine ’cause I hate the 500 million stall tactics, and hove no patience at that point), I laid down with J to get him to settle down and go to sleep……..and I fell asleep!  That’s not really a problem except for the fact that I’d told Xan that I’d come and lay with her for a minute as soon as J was asleep.   I think I stalled her off until tonight!  At least that what I remember from my end of the conversation, mind you I wouldnt’ bet he most reliable person to ask at that point ’cause I was mostly asleep.

I woke up feeling pretty good this morning.  The kids got off to school, and I got ready for the day.  I’ve been shopping this morning already, and visited Jon at the conference.  I’m home now – OBVIOUSLY – and am just finishing up a salad with some chicken on it, and have to get busy.

I have a bunch of stuff that I NEED to get done, and it has to be done either today or tomorrow.  I should really just do it today to get it over and done with.  I’ve been feeling more pregnant, and awkward as far as my body goes.  I’m getting bigger, and am starting to feel a bit uncomfortable, but I’m not complaining…..too much!

I’ll be 29 weeks tomorrow, and am so excited to have made it this far.  Only a bit longer and our sweet little boy will be here.  I have an ultrasound on Tuesday, and it will be fun to get another peek at him.

Well, that’s my week so far.  Hope you’ve all had a fabulous week, and have an even better weekend.

This Week

This week feels a bit nuts.

I really shouldn’t complain as it hasn’t even really started, yet; but I know where it’s headed.  Jon is doing sound all week for a conference, and while it’s decent money for a weeks worth of work, it’s  hard week on our family.

It sucks even more ’cause this year they started the conference on the Victoria Day Monday Holiday.  Last year, the holiday was the day after everything wrapped up, and it was so nice to have a day off.  This year, I had the kids at home all by myself, and Jon was gone, and well…….it was just a rough day.

I’d like to think that I’m further ahead of “things” than I was was this morning, but I’m not entirely certain of that.  I have a full day tomorrow, and am hoping to pop in to see Chris on Wednesday.  The trip in and out is always a big deal.  I don’t mind it so much, but it jsut really takes up your day.  Thursday, and Friday I’m helping out a friend, and then I have to survive Saturday by myself with the kids, and then Sunday is crazy busy with both Jon and I involved, and well…then we start another week, and I already have Monday and Tuesday booked up of that week, and will probably want to go in to see Chris next Wednesday.  I might just book off Thurday entirely, and so far I one appointment first thing on Friday morning.  The only good thing about all of this is that by the time these next two weeks are done – I will be finished 30 weeks.  Wow!  We really are headed into the home stretch, and I still have SO MUCH to do.

We did manage to clear out the baby’s room, and scraped the first layer of filth off the walls.  We still need to clean them really good, and then fill all the holes, and then paint.  I also need to steam clean the carpet REALLY well!  Then we just have to get some furniture to fill it up.  I did hang some of the little clothes in the closet.  SO CUTE!  I really can’t wait until we have this little one.

I did hear a very sad story today though.  The pastors of the church that the conference is renting came past the church today, and they had been at the hospital visiting with a couple who had just had a stillborn.  It’s so sad.  The baby was 11 days overdue, and moving around and everything seemed to be fine, and then it just stopped moving.  The lady had the baby last night.  It’s so hard to hear things like that.  It doesn’t scare me, but it does make me wonder if they had induced 2 days earlier, would there have been a different outcome?  Just like, if Nathaniel had been born at 25 weeks, and not just died, he could have been alive.  I know that you can’t live in the “what ifs” and “could have beens”, but sometimes it’s hard to not think the thoughts.

27 Weeks…….and a bit

27 weeksHere is the 27 week photo.  I am actually 27 weeks and 4 days, so really – I’m closer to 28 weeks, but it’s going down for the 27 week picture.  Maybe if I get my act together I’ll actuaoly start taking the pictures a little closer to Saturday each week, but it usually works out that I get the pictures taken on the Tuesday or Wednesday, and so they are all roughly a week apart.

I compared last weeks with this week, and even if I couldn’t already tell – just ’cause this belly is hanging off of the front of me - my belly is more rounded than last week.  It’s kinda cool………at least to me it is, and really – that’s what matters most.

I am definately feeling like I’m pregnant, and I’m pretty sure that I look pregnant as well.  Mind you, when Jon and I stopped at Starbucks on Monday, we ran into someone we hadn’t seen in a while, and I was sitting down, and after we finished talking I asked Jon if I really looked pregnant when I was sitting, or could I just be looking fat.  What a depressing thought, to think that someone might think that had just packed on a ton of weight.  Not like I hadn’t done it before, but still – when I had worked so hard to lose it, and then to think that I still might just look heavier than I should.  It was depressing for all of 2 seconds, until I felt the baby move, and then I really could care less about what anyone thought, ’cause my baby was still alive, and to feel him moving is the best feeling on earth.

I’ve been SOOOOOOOO busy these past couple of days, and I’m not seeing an end in sight for the next couple after this.

I have a busy day tomorrow that I have to try and cram too amny things into, and then I am planning on going into VGH to see Chris on Friday.  Really, I should say that I’m going in to “hang around the hospital”, ’cause then I won’t be disappointed when I leave to go home, and I’ve only spent a grand total of 45 minutes with Chris, but hung out at the hospital for 6 hours.  I don’t know what kind of shape he’ll be in anyway, ’cause he was going to have surgery today, but I think that he is actually having it tomorrow.

That’s okay!  It’s nice to just be there, and to see Nina and the other family that shows up.  That’s just as much a boost as actually seeing him, “being family” together.

Well, next week is going to be brutal, ’cause Jon is doing sound for a conference ALL NEXT WEEK.  So, I’m doing the single mom thing for a week.  SUCKS!  Not that single mom’s suck, but they have to do SO MUCH WORK, and I hate haveing to do all the work, and I’m fortunate enough that I don’t HAVE to do all the work.

I don’t think I mentioned recently that I have the best husband EVER.  I know that I’ve mentioned it before, but not recently.  Really he is!  He has been working hard, AND taking care of the kids when I go in to town, AND cooking dinners, AND helping out with the cleaning, AND helping out with the laundry, AND making sure the kids do their homework (*cough* most of the time * cough*).  Really, I have to give him some extra credit, and HUGE amounts of appreciation, ’cause he has been so supportive and enableing me to be with Chris and the family at this stresfull time, and I really, really, really, REALLY appreciate him.

 I really appreciate you, babe!  

……..and just to show you all how much I appreciate him, I think that in the next day or two, I’m going to scan some of the amazing photos that his Mum gave me of him, and do a bit of a photo tribute to him.  Believe me, their are some “BEAUTIES” that you will NOT want to miss……..seriously!  Maybe tomorrow, if I have a “teeny-tiny” bit of time!

Our Fun For The Day….

We really didn’t have anything planned for today, and just needed to pick a few things up here and there.

We decided to head out to Anita’s Organic Grain & Flour Mill to see what their store was like, and to get a feel for what they had, and what we could get.

We have been buying our Kamut and Spelt flour at the Ladybug Organic store, and I knew that they got it from this Anita’s Place, and I even knew that it was out in Chilliwack.  I hadn’t found their website, but Jon took a look, and found it for me.  YAH!  We e-mailed them for a price list, and discovered that we really liked their prices, and as far as distance, it works out to about the same to head in to Langley or out to Chilliwack, and so we decided to check them out one day.

Today just happened to be that day.

20 KGs of Kamut and Spelt Flour
It is just a tiny, little, almost a shack, but I was very excited.  Their prices were amazing, as far as healthy, organic weird flours go, and they even had  rolled kamut and spelt flakes.  Jeremy’s VEGA test showed that he was okay with Oatmeal, and so we do make it.  I am still  intolerant to oatmeal,  and so shouldn’t really have it all that often.  To see that I could make a pot of porridge out of Kamut Flakes or even Spelt flakes was awesome.  They look almost exactly the same as old fashioned rolled oats, and just enable us to add a little more variety into our lives.  YAH! We didn’t pick any of the rolled grains up today, but will go back in the near future to pick some up.  I did make some Kamut tortillas today, and the kids were thrilled.  I didn’t make any last week, and it made lunches more difficult.

I have also tried a loaf of Spelt/Kamut breaf made with oil, flour, salt, and baking powder.  We’ll try it out tomorow morning, and see how it tastes.  It’s the quick and lazy way to make bread.  I still haven’t tried out the long and difficult way.  I’m a bit scared that after all the effort I have to go through, that it would still taste lousy, and then I’d be annoyed.  Well, I will probably just go for it this week.  It’s basically a sourdough starter bread, so it takes a week to just get the starter ready, but again the only ingredients are water, flour and sea salt.  If I can make it for cheaper than $6.00 a loaf, then I’m doing fabulous.

A friend is lending me her baby bath, and a swing, and so that’s very exciting.  Jon and I were talking today, and we want to get all the “Big” stuff done before July 1st.  The kids are done school at the end of June, and I really don’t want them involved in all the painting and set up of the baby’s room.  The little finishing things, sure – no problem, but not the painting and puttying and sanding and crib set up and other stuff.

That means, that not only do we have to do the walls in the baby’s room, but we also have to get a crib and a change table and a dresser.  We are hoping ot be able to get stuff that matches.  Knowing that this might be our last baby, and that it’s kind of a special event, we just want to do it extra special.  I might have found the bedding that I want.  I like this pattern.  I’m just struggling over the price.  It’s a much better price than what I saw it for in the store today, but still………GULP!

Oh well!  It’ll all come together eventually, and I don’t need to worry!  I know that! 

I’m off to bed now, but I just wanted to say one more thing. 

To all the Mother’s with living children, and especially those who have children that are not living…..I hope you have a peaceful day tomorrow and that it would be filled with hope and love and very special thoughts and memories.

And to everyone else, may you be thankful that you had a mother who brought you into this world, and that you are alive and well, regardless of your life’s circumstances.

May tomorrow be a special day for you all!

Sooooooo Tired!

I don’t know how some of you do this on a regular basis.  I know that there are those out there who regularly pull all nighter’s.  I am not one of “those” people.

Chris has not been sleeping well for a couple of nights, and so we decided that someone should stay with him over night and see if that might help him get a better sleep.

Well, He did sleep better last night, but I volunteered to stay overnight.  That meant that I didn’t sleep.  I’m okay, but was planning on coming home and sleeping, and it just hasn’t worked out that way.  I’ve been up since Wednesday morning at 4:30am.  How many hours is that……….34 hours as of right now, by my calculations, and I will not be getting to bed before 10pm tonight.  So, unless I fall asleep standing on my feet I will be up for a total of 42+ hours.  Nice, eh?

Well, We are going to pick up the kids, and then I have to figure out something for dinner, and then I really need to put my feet up.  They are so swollen.  Oooops!  Not good, but the naturopath said that feet swelling was not a big deal.  It was a big deal if my hands and face were swelling, and so far so good!

Jon will be home with some liquid gold* in about 2 minutes, and then we are off to collect our children.

* Liquid Gold – Grande, Half-sweet, sugar free, hazelnut, soy latte from Starbucks! Mmmmmmm, and I’m not supposed to have coffee!  Ha!  Like that is happening right now!

26 Week Picture and other stuff…………

26 weeksFINALLY, I got Jon to take the picture.  Not that it’s Jon’s fault, but you know….I have to have my hair done, and decent clothes on, and make up, and well…….the stars all have to align, and when they do……..then we can take a picture.

So, finally we did it.  I don’t think it’s magazine worthy, but then again, I mostly just want to keep a record of everything, and that’s what I’m doing, and so I’m doing good!

The little bugger has been breech for a while, and he turned the right way up for one whole day, and by the next day, he was back in the breech position, and hasn’t truned again since.  I’m really hoping he’s not getting to comfy – I don’t want a C-section, and will do whatever it takes to avoid that if possible.  I’m not against it, if it’s totally necessary, but don’t want to have to deal with that.

I finally got the book keeping done.  I do books for my Grandfather’s Misions Society.  I was going to finish the books a month ago, and then the accident happened.  Well, as of last night I finished them, and then……….then the angels sang, and harp music played, and I rejoiced!  And it was good!

Today I was going to go in and see Chris, but I figured that I’d just  stay home for one more day, and get caught up on a bunch of stuff that has been getting shoved further and further down the list of “things to get done”.  I feel like I’m almost caught up, abd even though I know that I’m pretty much caught up, I still feel kind of pressured by the thoughts that I have stuff to do.  Not sure what is up with that.  I might just need to make a list of  everything that I’m still thinking about, and  cross off all the stuff that I’ve finished.  Sometimes I need a visual.  I can see the list inside my head long after it’s been taken away.  No, I don’t have a photographic memory…well I have a slighty inaccurate photographic memory.  I can actually see the things that I’ve looked at, but I don’t usually pay enough attention so that I can recall every  single detail.  What I would have given to have had that ability in High school….Can you even imagine how cool that would be?

 Like I said, I can do that to a certain extent, but it’s a hit and a miss as to the percentage of perfection that I attain on a regualr basis.

 The kids are doing okay.  Nothing really exciting to report on that end.  Geli has been complaing, and I finally found some sort of okay multi-vitamins that I’ve been giving her and Xan just in case we’re not covering ALL the bases with the food we eat.  Hopefully she will stop complaining about how sick she feels all the time.

I was getting calls from school from her EVERY FREAKING DAY.  I kinda subscribe to the , “Are you barfing or do you have a fever?” school of thought.  Either of those will win you a trip home and confined to your bed for the rest of the day, but anything less than that will earn you a prayer and an over-the-phone kiss and hug from Mom!

The kids have been doing fabulously as far as the food stuff goes.  I still need to post some of our meals that we make.  Will get to that one of these days.  Jeremy did get in to see the Naturopath while I was up in Kamloops.  Jon took him, and he’s doing really well.  I’ll have to do an update on that, as well.  Our next appt for him is on Monday May the 28th.  He gets retested for his food intolerances, and gets a hemoglobin test, and another appointment with the Naturopath.  It will be so exciting (I hope) to hear how much better he is doing.  I’m really hoping that his yest levels have dropped, and that he is well on his way to a healthier life. 

When I went in for my appointment last Friday ,we talked briefly about Jeremy especially seeing as we had made a visit ot the ER the night previously.  She said that waht we are doing right now is only the tip of the ice berg as far as what she CAN actually do to help him.  That is SO EXCITING.  To know that the sucess that we’ve experienced with him is only the beginning.  It’s so encouraging.

Well, I’m off to see Chris tomorrow, and have to pick up my mom just before 8am- AAAAAAWWWWWWCCCCCCKKK!  That’s WAY TOO EARLY!  Oh well!  I’m excited.  Chris has been moved out of the ICU and into the Trauma Unit.  This is a step in the right direction, and so exciting to hear.  I can’t wait to see him tomorrow.

“Cause I’m Lame Like That……..

Well, I not really, but I still haven’t gotten Jon to  take a picture of me at 25 weeks pregnant, and now I’m 25 weeks and 4 days…..alomst 26 weeks.

Silly me!  I will try to get him to take one tonight.  I had my OB appointment yesterday, and was the most calm that I’ve been at any of my appointments with him since I found out I was pregnant this time.  It’s helps to be feeling the baby moving on a regular basis, also.

He tried to find our little boy’s heartbeat with his doppler, and seemed to have a hard time, eventually he said that it was trucking along at 150 beats per minute, and then said that he wanted to have little look on the ultrasound machine.  I was, of course, all up for that.  It’s amazing how big the baby looked on the screen.  From seeing almost nothing but a flicker at my 7-8 week appointment, to seeing a little tiny blob like looking baby, to now when we couldn’t see the whole baby on the screen, but had to move all around to see everything from head to toe and finger to finger.

I mentioned that  I wondered about the fact that I really only felt movement in the extreme lower portion of my torso.  I would get the odd poke higer up, but not a whole lot of movement on either the sides or the top.  He figured that the little one must be breech, and the ultrasound revealed that Yes, in fact, this little stinker is breech, and by jugding from how long I’ve been feeling the movements down low – he’s been that way for a while.

He still has his stomach, facing towards my spine.  He’s basically cuddling my innards, and kicking the crap out of my bladder.  It’s so much fun!  I really don’t mind.  I know that I’ve said that I want to be holding this little one more than anything, but I’m really trying to just take each moment as it comes, and to enjoy EVERY last minute that he is inside of me, as this one is most likely my last. 

I’ve not ever planned on having 5 kids, not that there is anything wrong with that, but I am struggling (not terribly, it’s just a niggling thought) with the fact that I never wanted to have this large an age span between any of my kids.  Jeremy will be almost 7 when this one is born.  I know it’s not the end of the world, but I think that it’s fun to have someone to grow up with, and well…..I really don’t have to make any decisions now…..this is just something that is floating around in my brain.

I said to my mom today that I only have 3 more months to get everything ready beofre this little guy shows up.  I still need to get a crib, and a dreser and a change table, as well as to clear out his room (it’s loaded with crap right now), and paint.  I still need some other stuff, but when we were clearing out the garage this past weekend we looked through the baby stuff we had, and while most of it is girls stuff (I’ve passed on and given away a lot of the boy clothes), I did manage to find a ton of little baby undershirts, so as far as those go – I’m good to go!

I also need to get some fabric and figure out a crib set for this little one.  AAAAARRGH!

It kind of feels like there is a lot to do, and time keeps speeding up.  Not that I’m complaining – I can’t wait to hold our little boy, but I just want to get everything done.

I only have 101 days to go until my due date.  That is just so exciting!  I can hardly believe it. 

I have to go for the Gestational Diabetes Test any time now.  The OB gave me the requesition for it yesterday, as well as a requesition for another big ultrasound to check to make sure that everything is going perfectly like it should be.  So, I’ll get to see our little guy again.  That is always so fun. 

Alright, I have babbled on enough already.  Going to go and put the kids to bed……..talk to you soon………..

Pregnancy Progression

24 weeksI’ve finally gotten around to posting the pregnancy progression pictures that we’ve taken of this pregnancy so far.  I’ll have a new one to add to the set tomorrow.  Now, that doens’t mean that I’ll post it tomorrow, but I will try. 

It seems amazing that we’re this far into it.  Only 15 more weeks until the due date…..YAH!

Just click on this photo of me from last week to see the whole set.

Edited to Add:

I’m frustrated ’cause I had typed a whole bunch more, and when I hit save and publish it wasn’t there so obviously I did something wrong, but I’m too upset to try and remember everything that I said.  Oh well!  Enjoy the pictures….if you’re into that kind of thing, and if not….be about your business.

ps…..can you tell that I’ve died my hair?  It’s a dark brown now.  I love it.  I had 2 inch roots, and couldn’t handle them any more.  So, voila!  They are gone!

I’m Late but Learning to Run on His Time

It was my brother Tim’s birthday yesterday.  He turned 28 years old.  Man, we are all getting old.  I don’t actually have a problem with that, but maybe my siblings would have a problem with me saying that.  I had to count backwards from me (I’m turning 32 this year), and realized that Chelle will be 30 in June!  WOW!  Seems like only yesterday I was standing in the Fireside room in Elim or New Life or whatever it was called then, and counting off 8 more years until I would be completely finished school.  Now, here I am, and my eldest daughter has only 8 more years until she is finished high school.

We are home, and well………it was a difficult day.  So exciting with Chris coming home (to the coast), but it kinda felt like I was accosted with a WHOLE TON OF STUFF when I walked in through the door.  I think that by the time we got the kids settled down and in bed, that things were at least on their way to becoming “normal” again.  Is that even possible?  This whole unreal (and yet very real) situation with Chris affects EVERYONE………..and it affects everyone in a unique way.

At least I know that this time when I came home after being away for only (almost) 3 days, that the kids really missed me.  I had to tease Xani for her comment about not even realizing that I was gone last week.  I think that she is the one who has missed me the most over the past few days.  Funny little ones.  We did a lot of talking this afternoon and tonight.  I just let them talk about anything and everything.  It was good for them, I think.

Xani suggested that from now on, I drop them off at school, and then head in to see Uncle Chris and Aunty Nina, and then come home when school was finished.  That is kinda what I was planning…….sorta. 

I have an appointment with my naturopath tomorrow at 10am.  This is basically just a hold my hand appointment because this is around the time that we lost Nathaniel.  I will admit that last week was fabulous.  Nothing like focusing on someone else to enable you to not have to deal with your own life struggles.  This week has not been as good as far as evading the thoughts and fears.  I don’t feel like I’m overwhelmed, or that fear is rising up inside of me.  It feels more like the thoughts are coming at me from outside.  I can hear them, and recognize that they aren’t comfortable thoughts, but I can’t seem to block or ignore them entirely.

So, I have this appointment where she will tell me that I’m doing good, and that everything is going well, and so just keep trucking along.  And so I will!

No worries!  I’ve been taking good care of myself.  I’m not an idiot!  It is possible to eat and drink enough water, even in an emergent or critical situation; and a little bit of lost sleep won’t kill anyone.  And honestly, I’m not even really stressed. 

It’s amazing how freeing just hearing God’s voice can be.  Once you learn to trust that what He says will come to pass, it make life so much easier.  Don’t know what to do or to think?????  Just ask the Father, and obey whatever He says.  If he says your brother will live, and not lose his arm, then I choose to believe that He keeps His word.  My Father is not a liar.  And if He says that my child will live, same thing….I choose to believe that He keeps His promises and that I can rest assured that He will take care of me and protect my little one.  Now, this doesn’t mean that I’m super human and never experience a moment of doubt or fear, but I do have WAY MORE peace than if I were just stumbling along all by myself, and trying to have some hope that things might turn out okay.

I know, that even if for some reason I heard wrong, or wanted to hear some thing…..I know that God will walk me through whatever road I have to walk down.  He’s already proven that time and time again. 

So, tomorrow, I will get up, an see my kids off to school.  I will go to my appointment, and then I will go to see Chris and Nina and whoever else happens to be there……….And we WILL hear good reports about how God is doing amazing creative miracles in Chris AND Nina’s bodies!  I’m so glad he’s here at the coast, and in VGH!