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We had the two older siblings come in today to meet with the doctor and team and to address their questions. Those two have not really handled this well for a variety of reasons. The plan is to tackle their questions, perceptions and misunderstandings head-on.
Jeremy saw Patti crying when we first got the news about Angelica. He didn’t understand what leukemia is. He didn’t even really understand what cancer is. He knows that mom doesn’t cry very often, and he is VERY sensitive to emotions. He sucked up that tension and has let it bounce around inside of him for a bit. He has not been sleeping and has not gone to school for a few days. He did try to get back to school, but it wasn’t productive and coupled with the lack of sleep…
Alexandra has read a lot of books and picks up a lot of information. She heard leukemia, then cancer, then I don’t think she heard much else. She started crying and saying “I don’t want Geli to die.” She has been into the hospital and we have explained that Geli will only be here for a week and that the chances of her being totally healthy are really good. But even yesterday she was still talking about Geli being gone for a long long time and really missing her, and wondering about a bunch of stuff.
The doctor (and we have a very nice, personable doctor, that is really good at putting complicated medical stuff into kid language) set up a meeting for 1:00pm today. Jeremy came with a few random thoughts, rather than questions, but he really needed to see everything calm and moving forward and he needed to know that this time (parents gone and various family members being with them at night) was going to be over soon. Xandra came with a book of questions. She asked why Gel’s hair would fall out, what the chemo actually does, what the best case scenario was… and she really didn’t want to ask but she did, what the worst case scenario was.
The doctor listened and replied to all the questions. He was impressed that jeremy knew that 45 years ago, the survival rate for leukemia was only about 4%. (In case you are wondering, the best case is that Geli responds to treatment, doesn’t get any infections during treatment. The worst case is that she would go through treatment and then have a relapse and have to go through treatment again.) He explained everything that the kids asked and listened to jeremy talk about fishing, guns, shooting birds, and other random stuff.
When that was done, I took those two to Science World and let them burn off some energy doing something completely distracting. I wanted to do something special for them and at the same time get a sense of what they got out of the meeting. My assessment was that they were going to be ok.
The realities are not easy, but in the end Angelica will have a normal life. It will be a change to our normal for a few years, but we will get through it as a family. I am pretty sure now that everyone in the family understands in their own way. And just to prove that, Jeremy and Xandra both went to school this morning and seemed to be happy about it.
Jon
I am so glad that it went well for them and for you both. As a parent you are always concerned and want the best for your children. It would be so nice if they just came with an emotion metre and it told us all the things they were feeling and when they were ok. At least we have a GOd that is greater than the circumstance and knows their precious hearts. He is who we can go to and know that it will be okay. i love you all so much. You are awesome at being Daddy and Mommy. Maybe that is why you have so many kids??? hee hee.
Geli, it was so nice to see you last night. You are doing so great and being so brave. I am so proud of you. You are so beautiful, even though you feel cruddy lots just know that you look fabulous! Love you lots Auntie Chelle
I don’t have children of my own, but it’s amazing how kids process things. Sometimes in a far more matter-of-fact way than even adults. It’s great to hear that they felt enough of a sense of peace that they were able to resume their “normal” routine.
I continue to pray for you all and this verse keeps coming to mind, “Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the Lord your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6” God can’t fail, it’s that simple. You likely know that even more than I do, but sometimes it’s good to be reminded.
I know you don’t know me (I’m a friend of Michelle’s), but I’m not working right now and if there’s ANYTHING you need please don’t hesitate to ask (I could literally be at your beck and call aside from a few doctor’s appt’s of my own – long story). My email is shalamorgan99@gmail.com and my phone number is 604-312-0243.
I am in awe of the amazing family you have and the people you are surrounded by and just believe that somehow your circumstances will be turned into a glaringly obvious testimony of God’s love and others will see it and won’t be able to deny his work and the miracle of it all.
Be blessed,
Shala
Over the past year I have learned why people use the word battle when they talk about cancer. I’ve been in the battle. One thing I do know is God is in this battle with me and 2 Chronicles 20:15 says the battle is the Lord’s. Put your trust in Him.
I am a friend of Michelle from City Light Church.
Praying for you,
Linda
Hi Jon, Patti, Geli and everyone.
I just wanted to tell you that we are thinking of you every day. I’m checking your blog and updating my mom (great aunty Judy to Geli), and we’re all pulling for you. We were wanting to try to do something for you, even though we are so far away, and we were told that maybe some music might brighten your smile. I wanted to let you know Geli, that I will be sending a package tomorrow to Nana (be watching for it aunty Karen, I’ll send it xpress). In it we have all (Phil and I and the family, danielle and darrin and their family, my mom {great aunty judy}, Steve, and Robyn and Kelly and their family) contributed to getting you and ipod touch. Jon, I hear that you are very technically inclined, so you’ll need to help add some of the apps like games and such. I was going to send it as a surprise, but thought that maybe some good news would be nice to hear, and also you’ll have something to look forward to. It’s not much, but we wanted you to have something to brighten your day. Thanks for keeping us all updated on your blog. lots of love to the whole family down there.
Aleta
That’s so great that the doctor took the time to sit down with your children. And it’s even better that it seems to have helped them. I’m really glad to hear it.
AMAZING COMMENTS… the night before we heard the news for the first time, I was reading in Is 43:1+2 as I read it this is what I heard,
Hey Listen up I am speaking to you.
I the one who formed you
I the one who had a design in mind,
who had an intended destiny for you
when I sculpted out every detail
in my creation of you
How amazing to realize we were created,
sculpted, handcrafted
from the very heart and mind of our Creator…
He had a design,
a destiny,
an intended purpose,
a relationship with Him in mind when He created us.
We are His masterpiece – a work of love.
Then I read in Deut 20:1-4
When we are on the verge of a battle
WE are to encourage each other not to be faint-hearted,
we are to say to each other,stand strong and do not fear,
for the God who is with you
will go before you
and fight for you
and save you
and give us the victory.
I heard from Is 43:1
that He who created us and sculpted us redeemed us… He says , I have paid a very dear price to make you mine… I have called you by your name …
YOU ARE MINE!
Then He says, when you go thru the waters I will be with you… I will be WITH you…
.I know God is With us who loves us, who will fight for us against our enemies….. and will give us the victory…
What an awesome God who loves us so very much and brings peace in the storm.
Fight the Good fight of Faith and God will fight our enemies
Hey guys! So happy to hear that the meeting with the doctors went so well with the kids! They are such troopers and must love their big sister so much! Still praying and hoping for all things good for all of you! Keep up the good fight!
Luv
niki
Jon, you and Patti are incredible parents. I don’t know if I’d even think to do the same thing while pregnant with a fifth child and holding my oldest child’s hand through chemo. You are amazing and they will all be OK because they are your kids!
Geli – praying for you! I pray you have a great day and you feel good. You’re almost home! ((Hugs))
Jon = Very Good Dad.
(Re: how you’re working with the Jeremy and Alexandra. Wisdom galore my friend.)
hey Geli
i am so excited for you it is your graduation today.
i am praying for you and have fun at your graduation.
love Debra
Thinking about you today and believing your Graduation will be an awesome event for you. Have fun and enjoy yourself. I am continuing to hold you and your amazing family before the throne of God.
God bless your day
That was a smart thing to do Jon, meeting with the doc. I am certain eventually everything will work out well by His grace. Miss you guys and my prayers always with Geli and your family as a whole. Lots of love and blessings.
Childrens is absolutely wonderful aren’t they. They’re value of each child, including the brothers and sisters is so far reaching in brining peace through troubled waters. Wonderful.
I can hardly wait to see Geli’s pictures from her Grad, Bell of the Ball, remember?
Love you all and congratulations on a beautiful little baby boy. I bet Angelica is enjoying holding him as well.
Many blessings and many more prayers.
Aunty Jo