This is a tough season in our lives and I think that’s putting it mildly.
I don’t understand and I’m not really even trying to understand “why” this happened to us. I’ve found that for me, there is no good that come come from sitting, pondering, feeling sorry for myself and our family and embracing the misery and loneliness of the “why’s”…..to do so only drags me deeper and deeper down into a pit and once in that pit, it’s a thousand times more difficult to get back out of. It’s much easier to claw and scramble and to do everything in my power to stay out of the pit in the first place.
I don’t feel amazing. I don’t feel like I’m doing very well. I do feel like I’m exhausted. I do feel like I’m walking around with cement boots on. I do feel like I’m processing through mud or honey and sometimes, it all feels completely overwhelming.
It’s a good thing that I not choosing to live my life based on my feelings. I’d be in quite a pickle if I were living solely based on how I feel on a day to day basis. (mind you, this is an everyday moment by moment choosing, not necessarily a blam! – now it’s done and all’s well forever and a day kinda thing)
A friend of mine is going through some “life crap” of her own. Everyone has “stuff” that they are dealing with. Life’s not perfect or easy, is it?
I sent her a message the other day, you know…..to encourage her…… asking her “what the truth for today was?”
As soon as I hit send, it hit me like a blow to the chest…….WHAT WAS MY TRUTH FOR THE DAY?
The truth is….I am strong enough to handle this.
The truth is…..I am capable of putting one foot in front of the other and continuing on each morning.
The truth is…..I not going to die because of an overload of laundry….get it….overload.. Ha Ha (well, I thought it was funny!)
The truth is……I will make it through this. We will make it through this.
The truth is…..I might be tired but I am getting some sleep AND if I really need to, I can call someone to help me.
The truth is……We’ve been so blessed in this whole process.
The truth is……Angelica is doing SO well for someone who is going through what she is going through.
The truth is……The kids are and will be okay and in spite of all of this, they will still be amazing members of society.
The truth is…..the truth is…..the truth is…..
Sometimes I get so bogged down in my feelings and I don’t feel strong enough to look past my feelings to see the truth of my situation.
This is a kinda crappy time – that’s not a lie, but inspite of the crapiness……
The truth is……there is a whole lotta good, a whole lot for us to be thankful for, and we have been so blessed and supported throughout this journey.
We will make it through this time and whatever you might be going through…..you will make it too!