Month: June 2010

16 days until D-Day

Well, It’s just over 2 weeks until my due date rolls around.

Which translates in my mind to – RIGHT FREAKING’ NOW!!!!!!!!!

I’m tired and I’d be WAY more comfortable if this sweet boy was OUTSIDE my body as opposed to inside my body but….I’m just waiting, and waiting and waiting, and waiting.

It’s tough feeling like I need to keep the house clean and neat and tidy, especially when I have no clue when this party os going to get started and I feel like if I go to bed one night and things are just total chaos……THAT would TOTALLY BE THE NIGHT that everything happened.

Which, by that logic, means that I should just leave everything and then it would all happen, BUT…..I just can’t fathom having a HUGE MESS to deal with on top of a newborn and so me and my big belly slowly waddle our way around the house and up the stairs and attempt (and I use that word loosely – VERY LOOSELY) to keep on top of things.

Fortunately, with the sheer number of things that my children have left scattered all over the house I get to practice my squats quite often. What’s really bad, is that its actually more comfortable for me to just bend over at the waist and pick stuff up and so I have to consciously make the effort to squat or lunge to pick the pick of crap off the floor. Fun times over you, you have NO IDEA!

I’m still fluctuation between puffy and not puffy. It’s about this stupid….earlier today – not puffy. Up and about walking and over at my mom’s just chillin….I literally just sat down about 10 minutes ago and WHAM….right foot starts to swell. You only wish you could have this much fun.

Well, my mom had Siah for a bit and they are here now, so I’m signing off.

37 Weeks

Well, my stomach muscles have finally lost the fight.

It looks like I’ve dropped and I can actually breath and there is space between the bottom of my boobs and my stomach, but I’m actually measuring 3 cm larger than last week. All of the stomach muscles in the lower half of my stomach have just given up and have let loose. If you look in the pictures from this week and then compare to last week…there is a whole lot more baby popped out in the lower half of my stomach than there used to be.

And, he’s not dropped – his head is still up and floating.

I had my 37 week appointment yesterday and things are looking good. Little Man’s heart rate was 144 beats per minute and he’s happy and growing. He’s still laying head down and with his back to my right side. He’s been in that position for a while now. So we’re not expecting him to have any drastic movements or shifts….he’s been pretty happy there.

37 weeks side

I had a really bad afternoon on Wednesday and after holding myself together….I finally lost it yesterday morning at my midwifes. I just couldn’t stop crying. It bothered and scared me so badly that I hadn’t felt him move and that I couldn’t get him to move for almost half an hour.

Here’s what happened……On Wednesday morning, I made a big batch of soup and then a huge pot of rice and beans. While the rice and beans were simmering, I made a double batch of Apple Hemp muffins, then another double batch of Zucchini muffins and then another double batch of pumpkin carrot muffins. I wanted to be able to freeze a bunch of them for when our little man comes. They are an easy, high fiber, healthy quick snack!

Around 1:30-2pm, I realized that I didn’t remember feeling the baby move while I was cooking and baking and that’s unusual. He’s big and strong enough now and I usually feel him move fairly regularly all day, even when I’m busy and doing things.

So I figured that while my last batch of muffins was baking, that I’d go and lay down on the couch and I should be able to get him to move then. I sat down on the couch and put my feet up and waited……nothing! So I poked at him a bit to see if I could wake him up and again……..NOTHING! I needed to go and check on the muffins, so I did and they were fine, but I still hadn’t felt him move….at this point, it’s been about 20 minutes since I realized that I hadn’t felt him moving. I contemplated laying down on the floor because I wondered if me laying flat would encourage him to stretch out and start moving, BUT……..that brought me WAY TOO CLOSE back to the Sunday that I found out that Nathaniel had died. I had done the exact same thing, trying to get him to move – I’d laid down on the carpet in my living room and couldn’t get him to move around. I didn’t want to do that because of the whole “What if’s?????” that were rolling around in my head and yet I needed to do something.

37 weeks front

I did lay down and after about 5-7 minutes I felt one little movement but I honestly wasn’t sure if it was a real purposeful movement or if it was a leg that just slipped around inside there. (I know how morbid that sounds and yet it was my reality at one point and so I do wonder and question…) Then he moved a bit more and I could tell that they were purposeful movements and shortly after that he got the hiccups…….those were honestly the most amazing feeling hiccups that I’ve ever felt in my life.

And from that point, I felt him move quite regularly through the rest of the evening.

After my meltdown in the midwife’s office, she sent me home with a doppler. She did ask me about sending me for a Non Stress Test, but as I explained to her…..while it feels great for the moment, almost as soon as it’s done, I start to question and wonder. See, I don’t doubt my bodies ability to be pregnant. I don’t doubt my ability in labour and delivery. What I do doubt and question, is if my baby will stay alive long enough to to be born.

We’ve never found any reason for why Nathaniel died or for why I lost any of the others and to have no reason means that we also can’t take active measures to prevent anything from happening. I’ve managed to hold it all together for a good part of this pregnancy, but I’m finding these last few weeks to be more difficult than the previous weeks…..I think that I’m so invested in this (and him) now and the thought of losing him (even if in reality it is only a remote possibility) is so SO difficult to handle.

And so though a NST would be nice, it’s not really helpful, but she did want me to take home a doppler so that I wouldn’t have to deal with another half an hour of stressing out……If I question or wonder…..BAM! Instant info!

I’m into my once a week appointments now, but really, this baby can’t come fast enough, as far as I’m concerned. The sooner he’s here and safe in my arms….well, technically at that point I should be able to breath easier, but in all actually it took a few weeks before I felt like that with Siah.

In other lighter news, I’m swollen and puffy enough that I gained 4 pounds in one week. How horrific is that? I know it’s mostly water weight, as this morning I was down a pound from yesterday, and that was regardless of the fact that I woke up with puffy, swollen feet.

I meant to pick up a herb to help with that yesterday at my midwife’s, but the meltdown kind of took over the appointment and I totally forgot.

At this point, it’s just a waiting game. My due date is June 25th but any time now would be just fine with me.

Saturday Morning Breakfast…..in pictures!

Breakfast is my MOST favorite meal of the day. I could eat Breakfast anytime, anywhere.

My parents called last Friday night and invited us over for breakfast. My youngest sister overheard the conversation, seeing as we just happened to be at her house and invited herself along (my brother-in-law was working).

How could we refuse the opportunity to have a meal made for us and not only that….it was breakfast. YUM!

When we showed up, my parents were just finishing making breakfast.

Nana & Xani

Mom was working on some grapes and Dad was finishing up the eggs.

Whipping up the Eggs

It was still early (for a Saturday morning) and Jack was sleeping……like a baby!

Sleeping Boy

Siah climbed up to the table and was READY TO EAT!

Ready and Waiting

Xani helped with some last minute things like pouring the juice…

Xani Helping

We finally sat down to eat and Siah thought the Ham was cooked to perfection…..

Loving some Ham

Papa told some funny stories! We really liked the one about Uncle Wayne and the Raccoon on the side of the road that he stopped to help.

Papa

Everyone took turns holding Jack….

Sweet Boys

It’s hard work, being this cute…….really tires you out!

More Yawn's

See what I mean…..

More Yawn's

The Breakfast was delicious, and the time with Family was even better.

There are even more pictures of us, and if you’re really interested…you can click through to see the whole set.

Sizeable Adjustments

On Monday, Jon and I spent the majority of the day running from store to store to pick up the final few things that were on our “get before the baby comes” list.

We picked up some linen and pillows and some vitamins that I’d run out of and Jeremy’s ADD meds and we attempted to get some sandals for Siah but were unsuccessful…..

One thing that I had needed to pick up were some nursing bra’s.

I wanted to get a comfy sleep bra and a few nursing bra’s for everyday use.

I had recently attempted to measure myself and was shocked that I’m smaller around the ribcage than I’ve been in a while and definitely smaller than I’ve been at 36-37 weeks pregnant. My measurement around the largest part of my chest was larger than I recall it being…….I figured that now was as good a time as any to actually go and get fitted for a good bra.

I have a horrible, HORRIBLE confession to make.

I’ve been wearing the same hideous bra for close to 2 years. To make matter’s worse, it’s an old tattered, stained nursing bra that I bought when I was nursing Siah. Now, to be completely fair, I only stopped nursing him about 6 months ago. but at that point, my two nursing bra’s could have been considered to have a glorious and fruitful life and at that point (heck even before that point) they should have been retired. The only reason that I hadn’t bothered to buy new ones was because I wasn’t entirely certain how much longer I would even be nursing for and then once I got pregnant, I figured that I’d stop fairly soon and would then buy some pretty regular bra’s to wear until I actually had the baby. I had really good intentions…..was just really bad on the follow through.

Seeing as bra shopping is something that I typically hate with the same passion that I have for bathing suit shopping – I put it off and put it off and put it off and well……here I am……..Ready to nurse my next little bundle of joy in the not too distant future.

So, seeing as my at-home measurements were a little more bizarre than your average 36C – I figured that I’d head to the local lingerie shop to see what they had for selection and I figured that I might see about getting professionally fitted at the same time.

I walked in COMPLETELY intimidated and stressed and was soon in the capable hands of Beryl from Forever Yours Lingerie.

forever_yours_store_photos-1-2

They are looking to have their website up and functional very soon…….foreveryourslingerie.ca

She quickly had me sized at a 36F and brought me a few selections to try on…..

Within half an hour of walking into the store I was armed with my correct bra size. I was also 1 sleep bra, 1 daytime bra richer and approx $100 poorer (which I don’t think is too bad for 2 well fitting bra’s). I do recognize that it’s not like I’m a 32H or anything quite as exotic as that, but this is outside of the 36C to 38DD that I’ve been fitted at before.

I feel amazing. The daytime bra is pretty and the sleep bra is well….well, it’s your typical sleep bra. Nothing terribly exciting.

Best of all, I’m throwing my old nasty bra’s away. I do want to get a few more for regular daytime use and will be looking for a black one and also a neutral one, but to know my correct size and to have it fit well and especially to have a pretty looking bra……well, it feels fabulous and at this point, feeling fabulous is a definite bonus in my books.

Appy’s Night Out

We went over to my sister’s house on Friday night for an appy’s night.

I was stressing a little about finding some appy’s to bring that were not only delicious, but also easy to make and I wanted them to fit within the dietary guidelines that I’m choosing to live with.

I feel WAY healthier when I’m not eating dairy or wheat and I try to avoid meat the majority of the time.

So, if you take those requirements and then add a bit of preggo brain….I was seriously struggling to come up with something aside from the Chevre (Goat Cheese), Roasted Garlic and Pappad (Lentil Flour Crisps) that I ALWAYS bring.

Goat Cheese & Pappad

It’s delicious, so I don’t mind bringing it, but I like to have new ideas to share and try…..

Finally about 4pm (We were supposed to be there at 6pm) I wondered about making a Greek Salad Bite and I also had some idea about a mini dessert that would involve some sort of wafer or cookie base and berries. At first I was trying to come up with something that would glue the berry to the cookie like custard or whipping cream, but then I wondered if I could use the same chocolate that I use to make my non-dairy fondue. MMMMMM, It sounded like it would be delicious.

Jon and I ran up to the store and picked up the ingredients that we would need and came home and slapped it all together and whadda know….both ides were a rousing success.

Here are the Greek Salad Bites…..

Greek Salad Bites

I bought cherry tomatoes, mini cucumbers, goat feta, green peppers, purple onion and klamata olives.

I cut the cherry tomatoes in half, sliced the mini cucumbers, cubed the goat feta, cut the peppers and onion into small squares and halved the olives.

Then I put a half a cherry tomato on the toothpick and put the wedge of cucumber on next to make sure the seeds and juice wouldn’t fall out. I then placed a cube of the feta, then the purple onion slice followed by the pepper and topped off with the olive.

I made up the dressing (just a regular greek salad dressing, either homemade or bottled would work) and put all of the “bites” into a container to take them to the party. I poured the dressing all over the top and let it sit until I got there. I pulled them out and put them on the plate and TADA!!!!!! Delicious appy’s that just happen to be vegetarian….

To make the little berry desserts, I bought some Nila Wafer’s from the store along with some non-dairy chocolate bars and some Silk Soy Creamer. (I figured that if If I had to I could just use the Nila Wafers but I was trying to find something that I could eat without compromising.) You should be able to get chocolate bars that aren’t made with dairy at your local grocery store, you just have to look at the ingredients. They will probably be plain and also a dark chocolate. I also popped over to our health food store and they had some chocolate mini cookies that were dairy and wheat free and so I picked up those as well. When I got home, I melted the chocolate and then stirred in the soy creamer to make it a little bit softer.

I laid the cookies down on a plate, spread a dollop of the chocolate onto each cookie and then placed a berry on the top of each one. I used blueberries and raspberries, but I also think that strawberries and banana’s would also be delicious…..YUM!!!!!

Chocolate Berry Bites

Both of these dishes were completely finished off and along with everything else that was brought, it was an amazing evening of good food and great friends.

I love to be able to bring food that fits within the lifestyle choices that I’ve made, but that others are willing to eat because it’s JUST. THAT. DELICIOUS!

I am not as strict about my diet as I could be, but I do try to make the best choices when I can so that when I can’t…..I really don’t need to worry about it. I try to live healthy, but I don’t want my choices to leave me unable to ever enjoy life….at this point, eating dairy or wheat or meat makes me feel uncomfortable, but it won’t kill me…..but if I can live (and eat) in a way that doesn’t make me uncomfortable – then I want to make that choice……and, if I decide that I really want that piece of cheesecake at the restaurant…..then I’ll have it knowing that I’ll most likely end up with a gut ache and a few other unmentionable side effects.

But, I do love it when I can come up with ideas that work, are delicious, and keep me healthy and happy. The biggest bonus is when other’s don’t even realize that I’m feeling them food that’s “abnormal” (to them).

Do you have any dietary limitations and do you have any good ol’ standby’s for parties or get together’s? I’d love to hear how you cope with food allergies, intolerances or even medically necessary avoidances (like sugar for diabetics???).

You can see the set from the Appy’s Night here…Not even one shot of me…can you tell who had the camera….and by the few pics taken – not for long, eh? We were having too much fun chatting and eating.