{"id":8623,"date":"2020-11-27T00:39:31","date_gmt":"2020-11-27T07:39:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/?p=8623"},"modified":"2020-11-27T00:39:31","modified_gmt":"2020-11-27T07:39:31","slug":"not-quite-drowning","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/not-quite-drowning\/","title":{"rendered":"Not Quite Drowning?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Is there a single word for \u201cnot quite drowning\u201d? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

That moment when a person in the water is struggling with all their might. Gasping for air. Popping above the water just long enough to gulp a quick breath. It\u2019s not quite enough to refresh or revive but it\u2019s just enough to prolong the inevitable. Your adrenaline kicks in and even though you\u2019re exhausted, you still thrash around wasting precious energy, air, resources……<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s a bit how I feel. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Brutal, eh?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019d say it\u2019s been quite a week. But on further reflection, it\u2019s been quite a month, and a hell of a year and quite honestly, it\u2019s been a decade of chaos and loss and trauma. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s something about the idea of surrender. Something still and quiet and peaceful. In some ways, it feels like failure or giving up. And I guess it truly is \u201cgiving up\u201d. Giving up on the assumption that I can \u201cdo\u201d all of this. Giving up the arrogance that says I\u2019m super human and can do the impossible. Giving up on the idea that I\u2019m in control. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Often we think that \u201cdrowning + surrender = death\u201d but maybe we are focusing on the wrong thing. Maybe \u201cdrowning + surrender = truly living\u201d. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maybe it\u2019s the weight that we need to surrender. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maybe it\u2019s the chaos that we need to surrender. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maybe it\u2019s the control that we need to surrender. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And maybe…in the surrender, we will be able to truly live, unencumbered by weight that drags us down, tires us out and distracts us from what we really want to do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s probably a good thing that I have a counselling appointment tomorrow, eh?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Is there a single word for \u201cnot quite drowning\u201d? That moment when a person in the water is struggling with all their might. Gasping for air. Popping above the water just long enough to gulp a quick breath. It\u2019s not quite enough to refresh or revive but it\u2019s just enough to prolong the inevitable. Your … Continue reading “Not Quite Drowning?”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[57,20,89,22,33,77,8,11,13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8623","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-anxiety","category-christmas","category-covid-19-2020","category-crap","category-deep-thoughts","category-grief","category-health","category-just-crap","category-kids"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8623","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8623"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8623\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8623"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8623"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8623"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}