{"id":8133,"date":"2019-07-04T23:50:44","date_gmt":"2019-07-05T06:50:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/?p=8133"},"modified":"2019-07-04T23:50:44","modified_gmt":"2019-07-05T06:50:44","slug":"with-my-humanity-faltering","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/with-my-humanity-faltering\/","title":{"rendered":"With my Humanity Faltering…."},"content":{"rendered":"\n

We took a Mental Health Day, today!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Jude had climbed into bed with us, at some point last night. First thing this morning, He opened his eyes, looked at me and said, \u201cI just can\u2019t go today.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Like I mentioned yesterday, we have a kids day camp this week. It\u2019s fun. It\u2019s amazing. It\u2019s epic. It\u2019s theme is \u201cPower Up\u201d. They do Fortnite dancing, and crafts and have snacks and an epic water day. It\u2019s AWESOME!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And in the last two days, my kid has used up any and every bit of emotional and mental reserve. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, I declared today a Mental Health Day and we did nothing taxing; and only things that we wanted to do. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have pretty firm opinions on parenting. I don\u2019t like to put up with any garbage or judgement from others. It makes me sick when I see children being treated as bad or devious or evil. I do understand that there are some children who have been so hurt that they need extraordinary help and support; but so many children are spoken to as if they aren\u2019t real people. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Real people who have rights, deserve dignity and autonomy. Real people who deserve respect and kindness regardless of whether they are non-compliant, misbehaving or just young. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But for all of my opinions, I\u2019m still human. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I grew up with old school thinking that disrespects children. Thinking that says that I\u2019m the boss and if I\u2019m just tougher or more authoritative or just force a child to do something that they will get over their issue. Their issue, that isn\u2019t legitimate anyway. They\u2019re probably just faking it, in the hopes of getting away with something.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t believe that line of thinking for one second. And yet, within the stress and chaos and exhaustion of parenting high needs kids, there are times that my resolve falters. I question my moral compass. I question my parenting skills. I question my ability to know or think or believe anything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In that space, I allow the worry, the questions and the self doubt to surround me, for a moment, before I shake them off. Those thoughts don\u2019t fit on me. I can\u2019t wear them with pride, courage or confidence <\/p>\n\n\n\n

**********<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I believe that children, innately, want to succeed and do well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I believe that if a child is not succeeding and thriving; that is not because they are intentionally misbehaving. They are struggling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I believe that children try to do their very best and if we feel that their best is some how \u201cmissing a mark\u201d then we must step along side and support them, in ways that are meaningful to them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I believe that behaviour is communication and as the adults, it\u2019s our job to detect what they, the children, are struggling to put into words and to help them…..not judge, shame or criticize.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I believe that our children should run to us when faced with problems and not try to hide from us, out of shame and guilt. It\u2019s our actions, words and reactions that reinforce those beliefs and actions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So in this moment of humanity, when I question my ability to parent my child, to help him to be resilient, to help him find his strength and his voice, to help him find his way in this world knowing that he is valued and loved and capable…….I pause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I remind myself of what I believe and why I believe it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I remind myself that it\u2019s okay to not be okay.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I remind myself that taking a Mental Health Day is a gift and not a punishment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I remind myself that I\u2019m teaching my children invaluable life lessons by honouring them, respecting them and teaching them to be in tune with their needs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I remind myself that this season will not last forever. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

With my humanity faltering, but my beliefs unwavering, I carry on; doing the best that I can, in this moment and knowing that it\u2019s okay to not be okay. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s okay!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We took a Mental Health Day, today! Jude had climbed into bed with us, at some point last night. First thing this morning, He opened his eyes, looked at me and said, \u201cI just can\u2019t go today.\u201d Like I mentioned yesterday, we have a kids day camp this week. It\u2019s fun. It\u2019s amazing. It\u2019s epic. … Continue reading “With my Humanity Faltering….”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[57,33,12,46,13,5,16,63,80,49],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8133","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-anxiety","category-deep-thoughts","category-family","category-judah","category-kids","category-life","category-me","category-mental-health","category-parenting","category-the-autistic-spectrum"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8133","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8133"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8133\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8137,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8133\/revisions\/8137"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8133"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8133"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8133"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}