![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/6a89e2ce-9140-4060-8bb1-2dbc019957a2.jpg?resize=840%2C630&ssl=1\")
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\nI had a great run yesterday. I kept the same paces for the first half and the second half. Typically I run slower in the second half of my runs. So that was a win. I also ran a little faster and a little further than Thursday. Awesome right! About 3\/4’s of the way into the run, I thought to myself,”I’m really doing this. I’m getting stronger. I’m getting faster an<\/em><\/strong>d I’m not even feeling like a fish out of water gasping for breath. I’m actually DOING this!<\/strong><\/em>“<\/p>\n\n\n\n My next immediate thought was, “Obviously, you’re not trying hard enough. You’re not REALLY giving this your all. If you were, you would be exhausted and dying for breath.<\/em>“<\/p>\n\n\n\n WHAT KIND OF GARBAGE IS THAT!!!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n And WHY would I think that was an okay way to talk to myself?<\/p>\n\n\n\n I can’t fathom the audacity it would take to say that to an adult and I can’t fathom the cruelty it would take to say that to a child. And yet, I’ve talked like that to myself for as long as I can remember. I have no idea why I would talk to myself like that or how I ever received the message that it was okay to talk to myself like that; because it’s not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And yet we do it all the time. We down play our accomplishments. We deflect praise. We focus on the things we struggle with instead the ways we are improving. I don’t know if its a false humility thing or a fear of pride. But I’m done with it all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That doesn’t mean that I’m all fixed and wont hear those voices and those words anymore, but what it does mean is that I hear them and recognize them for what they are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I hear the fear of failure. I hear the fear of rejection. I hear a small voice who is desperate for love, acceptance, validation, success, approval…….<\/p>\n\n\n\n I choose to hear that voice, acknowledge the fear and champion myself anyway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Because today, I know that… <\/p>\n\n\n\n I got new shoes. Aren’t they pretty? When I went to Peninsula Runners years ago, the stock for size 10 womens runners was pretty limited. There wasn’t a huge selection and I usually ended up taking whatever they had that fit right. This week, I tried on 5 different pairs in all different colors and … Continue reading “Running Reflections 5-18-19”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"Running Reflections 5-18-19 #running #deepthoughts #selfacceptance","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[33,16,59],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8064","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-deep-thoughts","category-me","category-running"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8064","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8064"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8064\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8065,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8064\/revisions\/8065"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8064"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8064"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8064"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
– I am stronger.
– I am healthier.
– I am getting faster and going further
– I am amazing.
– I AM ACTUALLY DOING THIS!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<\/h2>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"