{"id":2320,"date":"2012-05-08T11:08:18","date_gmt":"2012-05-08T18:08:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/?p=2320"},"modified":"2012-05-08T11:08:18","modified_gmt":"2012-05-08T18:08:18","slug":"catching-my-breath","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/catching-my-breath\/","title":{"rendered":"Catching My Breath."},"content":{"rendered":"

Things have been insane around here recently. I have had no time for myself as you may have noticed by the silence over here.<\/p>\n

It was not something that I was intentional about but I have felt like my life was on speed. <\/p>\n

\"IMG_4808\"<\/a><\/center>
\n
working on schoolwork<\/center><\/p>\n

I…..we, have not been in a good place and for the first time since….well, since before the new year and probably WAY before then even…..I feel like I can…..well, I feel like I can almost breathe. I have these moments where I can see that I should be breathing and yet, I feel like I am still holding my breath and I have to remind myself to let go of the breath that I am holding so that I can take another and another and another.<\/p>\n

It has felt like things have been going down hill for a long time, but at the same time, I was trying so SO hard to carry on. Since the New Year and the whole BONE CRAP…..it has felt like things are going faster and faster down hill and that I could no longer even attempt to stand strong against it all. I have felt like I was being crushed under the weight of everything and at the same time…..I couldn’t be crushed because there was too much that still needed to be done; and so, wounded and broken I carried on.<\/p>\n

\"IMG_4815\"<\/a><\/center\n
we like to do school, too<\/center><\/p>\n

At the end of last year we applied for the Disability Tax Credit for Jeremy regarding ADHD. In April we received a bit of money and made the decision to use ALL of it to get some help.<\/p>\n

We interviewed a bunch of people and none of them really seemed “just right”. As we continued through the hiring process, I got discouraged. I started to think that maybe I was looking for something that I wasn’t going to find or that maybe I was expecting or hoping for too much. As a last resort, we contacted the church we are attending and asked the Young Adults Pastor if he knew of anyone who wanted or needed a job as a Mother’s Helper. He suggested someone and it turns out that there were two sisters that came for an interview and I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect duo. They are sharing the job and starting last Monday, I have help from 8:30am to 4:30pm and the two women are INCREDIBLE.<\/p>\n

\"IMG_4830\"<\/a><\/center>
\n
Who needs skateboards to play at the skateboard park?<\/center><\/p>\n

They are sweet and responsible and loving and the best part……..my boys LOVE them. I am SO THANKFUL. This couldn’t have come at a better time because we have 5 of us in counseling right now and between all the appointments that we have been going to….I think I would be completely WIPED!!!!! if I were trying to do this all on my own, and with the two little boys always in tow.<\/p>\n

I’m hoping to be able to have a little bit more “me” time. It would be so nice to not feel like I was ALWAYS behind on things, or to not feel like I was never able to catch up or stay on top of anything. <\/p>\n

\"IMG_4914\"<\/a><\/center>
\n
New pink glasses<\/center><\/p>\n

I feel like I’m trying to catch up right now. I don’t even know if it’s possible and there’s a part of me that wants to just ignore everything in the past and just start fresh moving forward….and in some ways I’m doing that…but it still feels like I’m overwhelmed with everything that I’m carrying. Oh Well, I guess that’s just more for me to hash out in counseling. Fun!<\/p>\n

\"IMG_4903\"<\/a><\/center>
\n

my baby is getting so big<\/center><\/p>\n

There is So much that I’ve wanted to share. But I’ve just not had the time nor the energy. Hopefully, I’ll have a bit more of both as the days and weeks carry on. I just want to thank each and everyone of you who has prayed for and encouraged and reached out to me and to us. I have had NO energy to “be a friend” to anyone at this point and this journey has felt like such a long and lonely journey and each time someone reaches out, it feels like a hug. Each time someone sends an e-mail, I feel encouraged or picked up. Each time, We get a message letting us know that you’re praying or thinking of us…it gives us a little bit more energy so we can pick ourselves up and carry on. I….WE are so grateful and thankful for everyone who is walking this journey along side us. Please know that although I still feel like I am in Survival Mode and barely scraping by, that I am SO incredibly thankful for each one of you.<\/p>\n

\"IMG_4932\"<\/a><\/center>
\n
Siah’s sand dude!<\/center><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Things have been insane around here recently. I have had no time for myself as you may have noticed by the silence over here. It was not something that I was intentional about but I have felt like my life was on speed. working on schoolwork I…..we, have not been in a good place and … Continue reading “Catching My Breath.”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[24,48,12,54,7,5,16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2320","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-addadhd","category-cancer-sucks","category-family","category-homeschool","category-jeremy","category-life","category-me"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2320","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2320"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2320\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2322,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2320\/revisions\/2322"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2320"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2320"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2320"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}