I lay beside her on the bed tonight, cuddling her…my arms wrapped around her while she sobbed and wailed as if her heart had broken. I held her and whispered quietly, my lips against her shoulder, “It’s okay to cry. Just let it all out.”<\/p>\n
The sounds coming from the very core of her….so hurt and wounded and broken and tired…..so very very tired.<\/p>\n
She cried until she was spent and then she lay, breathing jerkily, as she tried to settle.<\/p>\n
***************************<\/p>\n
We went to see the Rheumatologist early this morning. He gave us news that no one wants to hear. Especially not a child……<\/p>\n
Double Knee Replacement!<\/p>\n
Shoulder Replacement!<\/p>\n
Most likely looking at bone death in the hips and the elbow and who knows where else…..<\/p>\n
Possibly hip replacement in the future…… who knows about the elbow.<\/p>\n
He would need to look at the previous X-rays and we’ll probably need more in the future.<\/p>\n
It’s a lot to deal with.<\/p>\n
I’m not coping very well. She’s struggling. We are all struggling.<\/p>\n
This is tough.<\/p>\n
So painful.<\/p>\n
She’s looking at knee replacement surgery after treatment ends in 6 months. <\/p>\n
She’s already feeling like Grade 8 and Grade 9 have been taken away from her by cancer and now to hear that grade 10 will be taken up with bone and joint issues…..<\/p>\n
This just feels like too much.<\/p>\n
For all of us.<\/p>\n
We are hurting and wounded and broken and in the moment, it feels impossible to think about how we can possibly recover from this.<\/p>\n
I try to put as many positive spins on this as I can. To think about those we know who have overcome great obstacles and even faced death and now are thriving, but in the moment……<\/p>\n
It’s overwhelming and we cry…..<\/p>\n
And we hurt and we wonder how we will carry on and yet…….we must!<\/p>\n
We will get through.<\/p>\n
Nothing will ever be as it were.<\/p>\n
Our old “normal” is gone……never to be found again and we grieve. We grieve hard!<\/p>\n
We must find a new normal.<\/p>\n
Again.<\/p>\n
It’s getting harder and harder to think about creating new normals.<\/p>\n
It’s getting harder and harder to try to create new normals.<\/p>\n
It’s getting harder and harder.<\/p>\n
It’s just really hard!<\/p>\n
Tonight is a bad night.<\/p>\n
Hopefully, tomorrow is better!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I lay beside her on the bed tonight, cuddling her…my arms wrapped around her while she sobbed and wailed as if her heart had broken. I held her and whispered quietly, my lips against her shoulder, “It’s okay to cry. Just let it all out.” The sounds coming from the very core of her….so hurt … Continue reading “Normal is gone……and we grieve”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[48,22,19,8,5,16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2290","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-cancer-sucks","category-crap","category-gelica","category-health","category-life","category-me"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2290","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2290"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2290\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2292,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2290\/revisions\/2292"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2290"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2290"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2290"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}