{"id":2237,"date":"2011-12-13T09:39:41","date_gmt":"2011-12-13T17:39:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/?p=2237"},"modified":"2011-12-13T09:41:22","modified_gmt":"2011-12-13T17:41:22","slug":"im-dreaming-of-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/im-dreaming-of-2\/","title":{"rendered":"I’m Dreaming of….."},"content":{"rendered":"

So I’m sitting in front of my happy light<\/a> crying…..how ironic is that?<\/p>\n

I do believe that I’m about due for that whole monthly thing within the next week (I apologize if that’s TMI for ya<\/em>) but even knowing that doesn’t really make me feel that much better.<\/p>\n

I don’t feel Christmas-y AT ALL!\u00a0 I’ve been going through the motions, trying to convince myself that “I’m SO EXCITED that its Christmas time<\/strong>”\u00a0 because….well….because I typically LOVE Christmas and maybe, just maybe I can convince myself into being happy and excited about Christmas instead of just wishing it were over already!<\/p>\n

This is a tough year.\u00a0 We are still in the trenches of our fight against cancer, but the intensity of the situation has lifted just enough that we can look around a little and breathe.\u00a0 In some ways, that feels just as bad as when we were in the thick of it all and all we could really concentrate on was just getting through the day.\u00a0 At least then, we didn’t really have the time or energy to see what we “were” or “were not” doing.\u00a0 We were just trying to do our best and to “exist” through a very tough time.\u00a0 Not that I have a lot of time or energy right now, but I do have a little bit more than I did back then…..YAH for small victories….sorta!<\/p>\n

I was listening to the radio as I drove the kids to school this morning and a story came on about a little boy who was diagnosed with Leukemia when he was 4.\u00a0 He’s now five and the the radio station was raising money to help make this an amazing Christmas for him and his family.\u00a0 They mentioned the part where he’s been in treatment for the past year and that he has another 2 years of treatment to go…..My first throught was…..That’s horrible!\u00a0 That’s such a long time<\/em>. My second thought was…..Oh Yah!\u00a0 That’s where we are at!<\/em><\/p>\n

We don’t have to go through two more years of treatment, but we do have to go through another year of treatment and it’s tough.\u00a0 I cried for that little boy’s family.\u00a0 I know what they are feeling.\u00a0 I know how tough it’s been for them.\u00a0 I cried for our family.\u00a0 It’s been a tough year and a half.<\/p>\n

And so I cry.\u00a0 I try to pull myself together.\u00a0 I turn my Happy Light<\/a> on and dream of sunshine and warm beaches…..<\/p>\n

And then I’ve got to go and work on this……<\/p>\n

\"Mount<\/a><\/center><\/p>\n

Because it won’t fold itself, eh?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So I’m sitting in front of my happy light crying…..how ironic is that? I do believe that I’m about due for that whole monthly thing within the next week (I apologize if that’s TMI for ya) but even knowing that doesn’t really make me feel that much better. I don’t feel Christmas-y AT ALL!\u00a0 I’ve … Continue reading “I’m Dreaming of…..”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[48,20,5,16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2237","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-cancer-sucks","category-christmas","category-life","category-me"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2237","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2237"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2237\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2240,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2237\/revisions\/2240"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2237"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2237"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2237"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}