Siah’s sleeping and I’ve showered and I think I have a few moments to blather on and on and on.<\/p>\n
I love the feeling of being connected through my laptop, and at the same time I hate it. <\/p>\n
I’m trying to find balance in my life and sometimes it seems so difficult. I’m at home – by choice – and as much as I can handle being “alone” for longer periods than some others can; I still need contact, and sometimes it comes in the form of this website and sometimes it comes in the form of on-line friendships that I started 4 years ago and sometimes it comes from “in person” friendships and sometimes it comes through family. There are different ways to connect and different levels to connect on, and again, I try to find balance.<\/p>\n
Balance, balance, balance, schmalance!<\/p>\n
I’ve been just “playing” with Siah. Building block towers for the sole purpose of him being able to knock them over. I barely get one made and it’s demolished. I have made literally hundreds of these towers over the past little while; and while I build, I have time to think.<\/p>\n
I didn’t do as much “playing” with the other three kids. I was younger and more naive and maybe a bit lazy and definately tired and I was just trying to survive. Once Xandra came along and I was forced to stay at home more and “do” less things, I often regretted not just enjoying the one on one time that I had with Geli. I took it for granted and I would never get that time back.<\/p>\n
I’ve been given a second chance (of sorts). The 3 older kids are all in school and I have a full day at home to just enjoy and appreciate the time that I have with my baby. I could clean the house. I could craft. I could go shopping. I could go out with friends. I could blog. I could just waste time on the Internet. I could do so many things, and I do……BUT, I am enjoying my baby. I am just sitting with him and reading him books. I am rocking him in his room and nursing him without multi-tasking. I nap when he goes down for a nap – from time to time. <\/p>\n
I’m trying to really enjoy this second chance. This chance to just enjoy and live without letting life pass me by so fast. <\/p>\n
It also makes me think about the whole rest of my life and trying to enjoy and grab every last bit out of everything that I do. Really think about what things are important…..really think about what things are going to stick with me in the long run and which things just really don’t matter, short term and long term….I want to be there for my kids – right now. This is a one time deal….I don’t get this time back again. I’m trying to make the most of what’s in front of me right now.<\/p>\n
Balance…it all comes back to balance.<\/p>\n
I’m so grateful for second chances. <\/p>\n
and just because… here’s a video of Siah laughing hysterically.<\/p>\n