{"id":1667,"date":"2011-03-09T13:50:22","date_gmt":"2011-03-09T21:50:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/?p=1667"},"modified":"2011-03-09T13:50:22","modified_gmt":"2011-03-09T21:50:22","slug":"all-about-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/all-about-me\/","title":{"rendered":"All About Me"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Out<\/a>I left Josiah and Judah at home with Jon last Friday and took Angelica out shopping for a birthday present for one of her friends. We went into Michaels and then hit the mall. <\/p>\n

It was so bizarre how lost I felt. It’s been over 8 months and I’ve done almost nothing for myself in all of this time. Geli was headed off to some area of the store and her counts are high enough that I didn’t feel like I needed to stress about her and so I just let her go while I browsed through random sections of the store. <\/p>\n

I didn’t have anything that I HAD to pick up. I didn’t have anything that I NEEDED to pick up. I didn’t even have anything that I WANTED to pick up. I didn’t have a baby hanging off of me and I wasn’t freaking out that a 3 year old was touching or climbing on or possibly breaking something. I actually texted Jon that I missed him and the boys and that I wished they were with me. I felt so SO lost. I had no idea what to do with myself and it was horrifying, and yet really made me think….<\/p>\n

These past 8 months have been tough and there have been times when I honestly wasn’t certain what state I be in, mentally and emotionally, when things started to settle down. I knew that we’d get through it. I didn’t have a choice. We would come through and then what…….<\/p>\n

Now we are looking forward to June (when the intensive part of Geli’s treament comes to an end<\/em>) and we can see that there might be an end to this crazy, CRAZY time. We are not there yet, but as I’ve said before….each passing day brings us one step closer to the end.<\/p>\n

\"African<\/a>Things are not easy and I still feel a bit like I’m hobbling along BUT……I’m starting to think about the future. I’m starting to plan and hope and wish. I’m feeling like I need to start making plans for transitioning from this “high stress time” where I’m just trying to “exist”, to living a more purposeful, planned out life.<\/p>\n

Just recently, I’ve attempted to meal plan, again. This was a HUGELY effective tool when I used it before Geli got sick and it saves us SO MUCH TIME and alleviates the whole “What’s for dinner? stress”. I’ve also tried to schedule in Monday’s as a Grocery shopping day, but if things continue to settle down enough that Jon and I get our Monday “day off” then I might bump that to Tuesday to work around “our day”. Planning “one” shopping day has also helped to alleviate some of the stress from continually running out to the store although it TOTALLY threw the kids for a loop that we refused to just go out and get something that they thought they “needed”. They seemed to figure it out fairly quickly though. <\/p>\n

I’ve been trying this for a couple of weeks now and on the weeks that I’ve actually made it happen…it works perfectly. When things get stressful and we go into “survival mode” it doesn’t seem to work as well. Even right now, I’m thinking that I should plan a couple of freezer meals which would totally help out when things get stressful…..hmmmm….have to give that a bit more thought.<\/p>\n

\"Peek\"<\/a>Another area that I’ve very recently started “working on” is me…..more specifically my health. At this exact moment, I’m tackling my weight. I was 194 pounds before I got pregnant. Not as Light as I’d like to be, but on a 5 foot 10 inch frame….it doesn’t show the same as it might on someone not as tall.<\/p>\n

After having Judah, and all the Cancer stress and the month long hospitalization I was actually down to 185 pounds. Over the last 6 months, I’ve hovered around 190-195 pounds and just recently, I managed to hit the 200 pound mark and that’s it! I’ve got to do something. I had planned to just try to get through this first year without worrying too much about my weight, but that was when I was still under 200 pounds…..that whole 200 pound line….that’s my line. And I hit it and sooooo I’m choosing to work on it. I think that “technically” the books\/experts\/whoever “they” are say that I should be around 170 pounds, but I am really quite happy being 180-185. I haven’t been 170 since before I got married at 19 years old….. And so I’ve chosen to do something…..I’m counting calories and walking. I’d love to hit this hard and be all anal and perfect about it, but I honestly don’t have the energy to do this as intensively as I’d like to and I’m working on being okay with that for right now. <\/p>\n

I’m down 5 pounds already and so I carry on. I’m hoping that this summer I will be in better shape than I have been for the rest of this year.<\/p>\n

I’ve got a long way to go as far as “working on me’ goes, but I’m trying to take baby steps. I don’t want to get to June and have things slow down and for me to be still functioning in this “survival” mode. Knowing that things should be easing up, I want to be preparing myself so that the transition is not another shock to my system. I’ve had enough shocks for now, eh?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I left Josiah and Judah at home with Jon last Friday and took Angelica out shopping for a birthday present for one of her friends. We went into Michaels and then hit the mall. It was so bizarre how lost I felt. It’s been over 8 months and I’ve done almost nothing for myself in … Continue reading “All About Me”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[33,5,16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1667","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-deep-thoughts","category-life","category-me"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1667","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1667"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1667\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1672,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1667\/revisions\/1672"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1667"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1667"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xangelle.com\/dailygrind\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1667"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}