“If I’m being honest with you, I could care less what he learns as far as academics or what his grades are.”
With equal parts liberation and hesitation, earlier this week I shared this statement with my child’s teacher, case manager and support staff.
I don’t mean that I don’t want my child to have an education. I don’t mean that I don’t want him to learn.
But….at this time, I care more if he feels safe at school. I care more if he has a desire to learn. I care more that he learn to confidently advocate for himself. I care more that he learn to communicate respectfully. I care more that he learns self awareness and self regulation skills. I care more that he learns to confidently interact with those in authority, and with peers. I care more that he finds his voice. I care more that he believes in himself. I care more that he has empathy for all. I care more that he eats. I care more that his digestive system is functioning smoothly. I care more that he gets enough sleep. I care more that he gets enough exercise.
It’s not that I don’t care about his education. I just have SO MUCH MORE that I care about. There is so much that a typical child would learn by osmosis, by watching and listening and absorbing; those seemingly simple things….they have to be taught to my child. Over and over and over……and so while I may say that I don’t care about academics……what I truly mean is that it’s just not as high on my priority list as all these other things.
I wonder what life would look like if my biggest worries were what grades my kids were getting; or if “grades” were even on my radar.
But that’s not my life and so I don’t dwell on that. Partially because I just don’t have the time or energy to; but also because it doesn’t serve me to hold that ENVY.
It all comes down to priorities. I only have so much energy and I just can’t hold “it all”. So I pick and choose what is most important to me.
Teaching my kids to be loving, respectful, compassionate, hard working and contributing members of society who have mercy and grace for themselves and others…..that’s my goal.
I try to remind myself of that every time I feel caught up in “what we’re NOT doing” or in the fact that we aren’t “typical“.
It all come down to priorities.
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I’d love to hear what your priorities are or what you want them to be or wish they could be. Do you follow societal norms because you want to or because you feel you have to? Would you do something differently, if you felt you had the freedom or power to do what you wanted to?
