Seriously……….

So, I’m sitting here nursing Josiah, and attempting to type with one hand.  It takes twice, three times, a freak of a lot longer than I’d like it to’ cause I keep making mistakes and then have to go and refix it.

See, here is me typong withput editing.  I thought that if I juast put it allout threr that you’d be just a tiny bit understasndung about why I’;m not poisting asnything at all.

Sweeeeeeet, eh?

Not kidding that’s about half the normal speed that I can usually type at, but takes WAY longer ’cause I have to go back and edit EVERY SINGLE STINKIN’ WORD – just about.

I’m sick and tired of green poo…..not fun.

I’m officially cloth diapering, although I freak out every time I cram 6 cloth diapers into my diaper bag, ’cause my boy can plow through those puppies like there’s no tomorrow…..and I’ve always done disposables, and cloth seemed like a HUGE step.  Not sure why, but it did. 

Any way,  a friend (thank you very special friend, you know who you are)  bought me 12 of the diapers that I wanted, and I’ve been washing them EVERY DAY.  But it’s worth it, and they are amazing, and just as easy to put on as disposables, and there’s no chemicals sitting on Josiah’s skin, and I’m not filling up the land fills, and they’re just so darn cute…….I just bought 12 more today, so hopefully I’ll only have to do one load every other day as opposed to every day.

I still have next to no time ’cause the boy – he likes to be held.  ALL THE TIME, and I like to hold him, and I don’t like to hear him cry. So my house is a mess, but with the kids back at school, I am slowly winning the war on the mess.

Apparently, I have no choice, but to win the mess war, and I have to do it by Wed. at noon ’cause we’re having a meeting at our place…..sweet.

That brings me to my next topic…my MOBY WRAP.  Love it!  Get one!  It’s worth it!  Soooooooooo worth it.

My boy, he slept 6 hours the other night…..yep, at 5 weeks old, my breast fed little tiny (freaking huge 11 pound 6 ounce baby – yes that’s a pound a week) slept from 11pm until 5am, and I GOT 6 HOURS OF GLORIOUS UNINTERRUPTED SLEEP…..oh!  wait a sec….no, I didn’t.  Jeremy decided that’s the night he’d get the 24 flu, and woke me up at 2am to diarrhea and barf in my bathroom.  Wasn’t that sweet of him?  I was so thankful that he kept me on my regular schedule.  Wouldn’t want to get too rested…much better to stay in a perpetual state of WAY OVER TIRED…makes life fun…or is that funny………or not really very funny at all.

Well, I’m done nursing, and gotta figure out some way to get some folding done while holding Josiah, or at least keeping him from crying, and if he gives me a minute tomorrow, I might tell you all about how I’m freaking out about Jeremy and Grade Two and the teacher with the “mad voice” and a very not so good but enlightening meeting with his teacher, the behavioral guy, and the learning assistance teacher.  I’m upset and trying to figure out what to do about it.

31 Week Update

31 weeks

Here is a lovely photo of me at 31 weeks and a few days, but seriously…….who’s counting?

Well, obviously I AM!  I am actually 31 weeks and 4 days.  I guess that should make this a 32 week photo if I round it to the closest number, but I’ll probably take next weeks late too.  It seems to be a habit with me.  Almost all of my photo’s are later than the “actual” date.  I don’t care, I’m just thrilled that I even have pictures or even a baby (gut) to take pictures of.

We are getting closer and closer to the due date.  I really have no idea what to expect this time around.  I’ve had every single one of my babies early.  Very early as a matter of fact.

Geli was 2 weeks early, Xan was 4 weeks early and Jeremy was 3 weeks early.  Nathaniel was early too, but I’m not really including him in this comparison.

I just felt the need to mention him – I’ve been struggling lately because I’ve gotten quite a bit of – “Oh!  Is this your first?” questions, and I’m not sure how to answer.  To say that I only have 3 kids seems disrespectful to him and his memory, but then if I include him, what about the others that I lost.  But really, the people who ask are not looking to hear that I’ve had 4 losses in the past couple of years, they just want to hear the happy answer – That I have 3 kids at home.

Typically, that’s what I end up saying.  I have 3 children at home.  It still feels wrong, but….such is my life.

Back to the Due Date conversation – I’ve been early with my other kids, and I don’t know if I’ll keep up with that track record or if I’ll go all the way to the Due Date or if I’ll go beyond.  I’m sure I’ve said this before, but I’m in better shape physically, and I have no idea if or how that’ll affect my delivery and the timing of when this little one comes.

I could have approximately 6 weeks left, but based on having a still birth, I don’t believe that my OB will let me go past dute.  Although I am doing pretty good – emotionally, I don’t think I could handle going past my due date without freaking out.

On top of just “regular” emotional stress, this would be compounded by the fact that a couple at the church that we used to go to just had a still birth, and everything was fine, and she was about 7-10 days past her due date and the baby died.  I don’t want to have to deal with that.

I don’t want to have the baby right now, but I don’t want him to be inside of me for any longer than is absolutely necessary.

Crib SetWe are getting closer and closer to getting ready.  Well, I’m hoping that we’re getting closer and closer to getting ready.  We’re farther awawy from ready than I’d like, but I don’t want to be totally ready, and then bored out of my mind for the last couple of weeks. 

I finally picked out a crib set.  It is from the Bebe Star collection and is called Frogs and Bugs. 

We have the wall paint, and I’d love to do something cute and fancy, but seeing as we’re in a rental home, we’re just going to paint the room in the same tan color as the main part of the house.  We’ve washed and puttied all the walls, and let me tell you – Jeremy was not nice to that room in the 5+ years that he lived in there.  It’s not anything terrible.  there were just a ton of little dings in the walls that we had to fill in.  The next step is to paint the ceiling, and then the walls.  I don’t want to do the ceiling ’cause I’m already struggling with my back, and know that I need to get in to see the BEST CHIROPRACTER IN THE WORLD.  It’s just a matter of calling and booking the appointment, but when you feel like your time is already so tight….trying to fit another appointment especially when it’s 3 towns over is difficult.  Not impossible, but difficult. 

Wow!  Another bunny trail….okay, getting back on track………Jon needs to paint the ceiling and then I can get the walls done.  Our goal is to have that done by the end of June and to get the big furniture set up.  Then to spend July setting up the rest of the baby’s room, and making the lists of the stuff we still need, and to be picking that stuff over the month, and to be completely done by the end of July.  Then, If I haven’t had him by then – I have 11 days of complete and utter boredom until my due date!  AAAAAAAArrrrrrgggghh! 

I am still working on the list of stuff that we need.  We’ve been lent some stuff, and have bought a few of the other things, but there is still quite a bit that needs to be picked up.  I don’t know how we did it before (with our other 3 kids).  I think that we just shifted the lot of it from Geli to Xan, and then picked up or were given some boy stuff for Jeremy.  The problem was me getting rid of EVERYTHING after the 4 loss. 

I think I’ve said this before too, but I really didn’t have much hope that we’d ever have another baby.  I really wanted to, but didn’t think it would actually happen.  Thank God it has and is and most of the time – I believe that NOTHING will go wrong with this pregnancy.  I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t have “rotten little thoughts that I hate” every so often.

Well, I’ve got a bunch more to say, but I’ll save it for the next post.  That’s it for now!  You may now continue on with your regular daily schedule.

Didn’t Happen………….

So, as the title suggests, it didn’t happen.  There was absoultely no way that I could have done the 44 hours or whatever it was going to be.  I mean, I probably could have, but when we got home from picking up the kids, I sat down in front of the computer, and that wsa my first big mistake.

As soon as I sat down, I started to nod off – mid sentence with Jon.  I just could not keep my eyes awake.  He told me to go and lay daown for a few hours.  I was going to get up around dinner time, as I had a practise in the evening that I had to go to.

I laid down just before 4pm, and…………………got up at 7am this morning.

Yup!  Take THAT tiredness.  I just slept 15 hours, and I could have probably done another hour more.

Here’s what 34 hours of tiredness did to my feet.

swollen feet

And here is what 14 hours of sleep did to them……

Not So Swollen

I’m not a huge foot person, and so I apologize for the grossness that is my feet, but “Can you see the difference?”

I can see the difference, and most importantly I can feel the difference.  I feel amazing this morning.

I’ll talk a bit more about my night with Chris on the other side of things.  Check in over there if you haven’t already done so.

I have SOOOOOO much to do today, so as soon as I can get my “remember-ies” down from the other night – I have to get busy!

Have an awesome day!