A Big Mess……

33 weeksHere is what I’m counting as my 33 week picture.  Yes, I’m a few days early, but seeing as I’ve been late with the weekly pics almost every week, I’ve decided to even things out, and go early for once.  Saturday is when I’ll officially be 33 weeks – what’s a day or two, eh?

It’s funny, ’cause pictures don’t lie, and honestly……Jon took about 20 shots of me, and I’m not particularly happy with any of them.  This is the best of the worst, but if you look……my eyes dont’ lie, and I’m struggling.

If I’m lucky, none of you will look at the picture and know what I’m talking about – you’ll just be blinded by  my dazzling beauty, and the fact that I currently weigh less at almost 33 weeks pregnant than I did starting out the last 2 pregnancies…..amazing isn’t it? 

You like my evasion tactics????  I thought they were pretty smooth.

Well, today is Sports Day #1 – Yah, you read that right.  I have 2 Sports Days to deal with this year.  The school splits up the school into groups of odd numbered divisions and even numbered divisions.  The girls are both even numbered, and Jeremy is in the odd numbered divisions, and so that means that I have to go to Sports Day all day today, and all day tomorrow.

I’m just feeling so………….tapped out……I feel like I have too much to do, and not enough time to do it all in, and not enough energy to do it all.  The situation with Chris really through me for a loop yesterday.  I feel like we should be with him, especially after seeing how upset and fragile he was yesterday, and yet I can’t physically be in there all the time.  It’s so hard!  That whole thing came on top of me stressing about the baby being breech, and really not wanting to have a c-section…..I know that there is nothing wrong with them, and people have them all the time….I just don’t want to have one, especially not for my last pregnancy.  I know there is still time for the little one to flip, and I know that we haven’t run out of options yet.    The “breech” thing comes on top of a very long as stressful pregnancy, and even now I feel scared that something might go wrong….it’s not a feeling like something will, but just a fear that it’s still a possibility.  It’s that whole, “I’m holidng my breath and have been for WAY. TOO. LONG!

I’m just not coping with evrything very well right now!  I also hate the fact that me writing this down is going to send bunch of people freaking out and trying to take stuff away from me, and while I probably could just let it all go…..I don’t have to…..that’s not what this is about.  I’m just sharing how I’m feeling.  It’s better to let it out, than to keep it in, and explode later. 

Part of what makes this all very difficult to me, is that I’m usually very good at coping with WAY too much stuff, and it’s a bother that I’m not coping as well as I could or should or whatever.

On top of all of this, once again there’s been a breakdown in communication/relationship with some people close to me and I feel like I’m getting blamed for it all.  I hate that.  It’s one of those things that just make me want to crawl into a nice little hole and never come out.  I won’t do this, I’ve come to far emotionally to ever want to go back to that place where it’s just not worth it to try to have relationship, but when situations like this come up – it does seem to re-inforce the fact that people are not safe and just can’t be trusted to care for me, just the way that I am.  I hate having to feel like I have to be fake or pretend that I’m somthing I’m not.  If I can do something….I will tell you!  If I can’t do something……I’ll let you  know.  I’ll give you the grace to not live up to my standards, and I won’t expect you to do something just to make me feel better.  I’d really appreciate if others would grant me the same mercy and compassion, and not think that certain situations were all my fault……’cause they’re not.

Like the title of the post says……I feel like my life is a big huge mess right now……It wil get better…..I know it will.  I’m just struggling today.  Maybe I’ll feel better after a big cry….and then again, mayeb I won’t.  Maybe I won’t feel better until I’m holding my little one, and ignoring the world around me in that amazing, yet super-tired babymoon period.

In positive news……I did start and finish painting the baby’s room, and we even have the crib set up.  The crib bedding is available for pick up from UPS afte 1:30pm TODAY, and the other pieces of furniture are to be ready to pick up on the 26th – hopefully!

Only 7 more weeks…..although this week isn’t even over and it’s been draggin on for way tooooooo long.  I don’t know how I’ll make it to the end…obviously I will, and it will just be one day at a time, but from where I’m standing…….It’s looking like a LONG 7 weeks!

Thanks for listening/reading/whatever……..

Have’s – Need’s – Want’s

Well, This one might get long…..I’m just warning ya…….don’t say I never looked out for you…..’cause I do……..and if you’re interested in baby “stuff”…..you might just want to keep reading……..or if you just want to know about all the stuff I have, and need and want……..can I use any more of these…………..can I?

CribWell, I have this crib in it’s box, down in my garage.   Doesn’t it look nice?  Ignore the crib bedding, ’cause we are getting that Frog and Bug set that I showed you in the last post.

I had a really hard time with picking out the crib set because I really wanted something that all matched, and yet I didn’t really want plain white furniture, and I also didn’t want to pay five million dollars for the set.  These things are freaking expensive, and unless you go to a speciality store – it’s hard to just find a “set” in one of the local stores.  We did find this set at Sears, but had to order it all in.  We didn’t actually think we were going to be able to get this set because the crib was NO WHERE to be found, and it couldn’t be ordered in to arrive in the store until the end of July, and seeing as it’s possible that this little guy could arrive at the end of July…..that wasn’t really an optionas far as I was concerned.  Jon called the store here in town, and surprisingly enough – they had THE ONLY one of this crib in the lower mainland……nice eh?

armoire.jpgSo, we did get the matching set of the Armoire and the Change table.  I also anguished over the color of the wood stain.  Was the cherry too dark?  I knew I didn’t want the really light colored, blond wood, but did I want the medium colored wood, and which shade.  I thought that I found one that I liked.  It was called a walnut and was a dark honey color, but we couldn’t find the matching pieces that went with the crib.  I finally went with these three pieces, and although I didn’t really like the type of crib (the back side is taller than the front side – it’s not very traditional, and I was looking for something more traditional as first) at first.  I really like it now, and can’t wait to get the whole thing set up in nursery.

Change tableI’ve never had a  change table, and so this is a whole new experience for me.  Can you believe it?  Three kids, ten years, and never a change table……I’m so excited…I’m a bit giddy.  It’s a nice height too.  I still need to get a change pad….it doesn’t come with that little piece, although you’d think with the price that they could throw in the pad as a bonus. 

The Armoire and the Change Table are both on order and should be arriving on June 26th.  Well within appropriate time limits for set up in the room.  Another thing that I like about this set is that Iit will just grow with our little guy.  That is a 3 in 1 crib, and converts to a toddler bed, and then a double bed.  The change table converts to just a regular dresser if you take the railing off of the top, and the armoire will just be the armoire.

lilypadz.jpgNext on my list of things that I have are these amazing breast pads.  Just click on the picture to go to the website.  It has a whole ton of information, but to summarize….these are reusable silicone nursing pads.  They kind of “stick” to you and they don’t leak, they don’t show through your clothes, and if you had nice perky boobies than they claim that you don’t even have to wear a bra.  That would never work for me, but I love the fact that they are reusable, washable, and don’t show through your clothes.  On-line they are selling for approx $20US plus shipping.  I bought these off ebay.ca for approx. $17 including shipping.  Yah Me!

I’ve already posted about our travel system that we bought – that is the Infant Car Seat and the Stroller.  It was our very first purchase for this baby……so I won’t repeat all the boring details about that.

My sister in law has lent us a swing, high chair, playpen, bassinette, and an umbrealla stroller.  I was overwhelmed.  A friend of our’s also lent us a swing, a baby bath tub, ad some clothes.  Another sister in law gave me some of her boy clothes ’cause she is having a little girl…..I’m so excited for them.

I haven’t totally gone through all the baby clothes to see if I have everything – like undershirts and socks and sleepers – but I plan to do that after the Armoire and Change Table arrive.  I don’t feel like going through everything and then putting it all back into boxes.

On to the NEED to get items……

We’ve or rather that should say I’ve decided that I want to cloth diaper this baby.  I like the idea of paying a set amount for the diapers and not having to continually bleed out money for disposable diapers over the next 2 years.  I’m also planning on using reusable cloth diaper wipes……read that to say rags for butt cloths.  This is not to say that I won’t be using ANY disposables, because I know that I will……like if we go on holiday’s this year…there is no way that I’d take a weeks worth of dirty diapers home with me, and I’m not going searching for a laundry mat half way through either.  I’d use disposable wipes during that kind of time as well.

Bum GeniusCloth diapering is not the same as it was 10 years ago when Geli was born.  They have THE MOST AMAZING cloth diapers now.  They are basically like a disposable, but you wash them…..no pins, no folding, no plastic pants.  These are the ones that I want.  They do have everything from the ones I’ve described all the way back to plain, old fashioned squares that you fold and cover with pants.  I do already have some fitted cloth ones that you need a diaper wrap or plastic pants with, and will definately use those as well, but they are mostly the medium size and will fit a 15-25 pound baby.

I do have a ton of washcloths to use for wipes, but still need to order the diapers from Raised in Reusables.com  It’s a big wack of money to pay all at once, but they fit from birth all the way until they grow out of them, and like I said,  in the long run – I’ll pay WAY less than I would if I used disposables…..I figure that they should pay themselves off in about 6 months or so.

Diaper BagI still need to find a diaper bag, and the one that I absolutely LOVED is not available any where that I can find…….sucks – so I need to keep looking for something suitable and that I like.  That seems to be the biggest issue…..me liking it – when did I become so picky.  Like I said in the previous post about the bedding….I’m not really into “cutsy”…….I still want to look like I’m a grown woman, and not a baby machine with all the cartoon widgets and accessories dripping off of me.

How to find the balance within a budget……..that’s the challenge, eh?

I do still need to pick up the little nit picky things like butt cream, Lansinoh Cream, a diaper pail, cotton balls, Q-tips, The Infant First Aid stuff (Tylenol, Rubbing alcohol, Gripe Water, Digital, in Ear thermometer, etc), a nasal aspirator, blah, blah, blah………I also need to get a couple of nursing bra’s, but I saw some on sale at Motherhood Maternity that I should really go and get. 

Again, I’m picky – I MUST have underwire, and believe me when I say I MUST!  Without the strongest support possible those bad girls fall down to my belly button.  Okay!  I probably should have TMI’d you all in advance, but come on – It’s nothing I haven’t shared with you all before and you know I’m all about the honesty, besides I wonder if any of you will have even made it this far.  If you have – Don’t give up ’cause I’m almost done……really…..it’s the truth. 

Back to the Nursing bra thing for a minute.  My most favorite nursing bra EVER has been discontinued, and I’m a bit disoriented and terribly disappointed by that fact.  It was underwire, with extra support AND it snapped open in the front in the middle, and not at the top.  It’s like losing a best friend.  I shouldn’t be that upset, but I am – but no worries, I’ll get over it pretty quick….

Moving onto things that I WANT…..obviously these are things that are not so important as the above mentioned items, but still…….

Moby WrapI’d LOVE to get a sling to carry the baby in, and not just any sling, but a MOBY WRAP…….in chocolate. 

That would be this brown color you see here.  Basically this sling is a giant peice of stretchy material that you can wrap in a variety of different ways and can carry a baby from a preemie all the way to 35 pounds.  The cool thing is that you can be hands free and the baby’s weight is evenly distributed across your back and body.  The baby can be worn on your front or on your back, and facing in or facing out.  You can nurse in this thing, and it even looks cute just over top of your clothes…..meaning that if you tie it on before you head out to the grocry store you don’t look like a complete goof, and you’re ready to just slip your baby in leaving your hands free to push the cart and grab for your other children as they flail down the aisle touching everything thay can see…..it’s a real bonus in my mind.

I’d also like to get a breast pump.  This is one thing that i”m not firnly decided on.  I don’t work outside the home and I’m fairly comfortable nursing anywhere, so it’s not like I have alot of reasons to use a heavy duty electric pump.  I would like to have a bit of a stock in Medela Pumpthe freezer just in case, so do I get a manual (that I hate ’cause they make your hands cramp) or get a light weight electric……and if so…..which one?  There are so many out there.  I think if I had the choice I’d go with the Medela Single Delux Electric Pump, but it seems like an exravagance, and so we’ll have to just see how it goes.

I think that about does it for this installment of Baby produts.

I did have a Doctor’s appointment today, and I was going to lump everything all together, but I think that I’ll just quit for now, and if I can get a decent picture from tomorrow when I’m actually officially 32 weeks pregnant – I’ll tell you all about it then.

For now, I really need to go to bed.  It’s 12:22am, and I have Xandra’s birthday party tomorrow!  YUCK!  The only good thing about that, is that after 4pm tomorrow.  It will be done, and I’m so looking forward to that moment.

Well, If you’ve made it this far – I applaude you!  I’ll let you few select people know that I’m going to be having a baby pool, where I’ll give away an actual gift to the person who guesses closest to the actual delivery date and time…..so keep that in the back of your mind, and I’ll officially announce it – in a much shorter post – coming up some time soon.

Oh……….If you have any really cool baby items or gear that I MUST take a look at, let me know by e-mail or leave the link in the comments so we can ALL know about them.  I’m always on the lookout for baby things that make your life easier or just more fun!

31 Week Update

31 weeks

Here is a lovely photo of me at 31 weeks and a few days, but seriously…….who’s counting?

Well, obviously I AM!  I am actually 31 weeks and 4 days.  I guess that should make this a 32 week photo if I round it to the closest number, but I’ll probably take next weeks late too.  It seems to be a habit with me.  Almost all of my photo’s are later than the “actual” date.  I don’t care, I’m just thrilled that I even have pictures or even a baby (gut) to take pictures of.

We are getting closer and closer to the due date.  I really have no idea what to expect this time around.  I’ve had every single one of my babies early.  Very early as a matter of fact.

Geli was 2 weeks early, Xan was 4 weeks early and Jeremy was 3 weeks early.  Nathaniel was early too, but I’m not really including him in this comparison.

I just felt the need to mention him – I’ve been struggling lately because I’ve gotten quite a bit of – “Oh!  Is this your first?” questions, and I’m not sure how to answer.  To say that I only have 3 kids seems disrespectful to him and his memory, but then if I include him, what about the others that I lost.  But really, the people who ask are not looking to hear that I’ve had 4 losses in the past couple of years, they just want to hear the happy answer – That I have 3 kids at home.

Typically, that’s what I end up saying.  I have 3 children at home.  It still feels wrong, but….such is my life.

Back to the Due Date conversation – I’ve been early with my other kids, and I don’t know if I’ll keep up with that track record or if I’ll go all the way to the Due Date or if I’ll go beyond.  I’m sure I’ve said this before, but I’m in better shape physically, and I have no idea if or how that’ll affect my delivery and the timing of when this little one comes.

I could have approximately 6 weeks left, but based on having a still birth, I don’t believe that my OB will let me go past dute.  Although I am doing pretty good – emotionally, I don’t think I could handle going past my due date without freaking out.

On top of just “regular” emotional stress, this would be compounded by the fact that a couple at the church that we used to go to just had a still birth, and everything was fine, and she was about 7-10 days past her due date and the baby died.  I don’t want to have to deal with that.

I don’t want to have the baby right now, but I don’t want him to be inside of me for any longer than is absolutely necessary.

Crib SetWe are getting closer and closer to getting ready.  Well, I’m hoping that we’re getting closer and closer to getting ready.  We’re farther awawy from ready than I’d like, but I don’t want to be totally ready, and then bored out of my mind for the last couple of weeks. 

I finally picked out a crib set.  It is from the Bebe Star collection and is called Frogs and Bugs. 

We have the wall paint, and I’d love to do something cute and fancy, but seeing as we’re in a rental home, we’re just going to paint the room in the same tan color as the main part of the house.  We’ve washed and puttied all the walls, and let me tell you – Jeremy was not nice to that room in the 5+ years that he lived in there.  It’s not anything terrible.  there were just a ton of little dings in the walls that we had to fill in.  The next step is to paint the ceiling, and then the walls.  I don’t want to do the ceiling ’cause I’m already struggling with my back, and know that I need to get in to see the BEST CHIROPRACTER IN THE WORLD.  It’s just a matter of calling and booking the appointment, but when you feel like your time is already so tight….trying to fit another appointment especially when it’s 3 towns over is difficult.  Not impossible, but difficult. 

Wow!  Another bunny trail….okay, getting back on track………Jon needs to paint the ceiling and then I can get the walls done.  Our goal is to have that done by the end of June and to get the big furniture set up.  Then to spend July setting up the rest of the baby’s room, and making the lists of the stuff we still need, and to be picking that stuff over the month, and to be completely done by the end of July.  Then, If I haven’t had him by then – I have 11 days of complete and utter boredom until my due date!  AAAAAAAArrrrrrgggghh! 

I am still working on the list of stuff that we need.  We’ve been lent some stuff, and have bought a few of the other things, but there is still quite a bit that needs to be picked up.  I don’t know how we did it before (with our other 3 kids).  I think that we just shifted the lot of it from Geli to Xan, and then picked up or were given some boy stuff for Jeremy.  The problem was me getting rid of EVERYTHING after the 4 loss. 

I think I’ve said this before too, but I really didn’t have much hope that we’d ever have another baby.  I really wanted to, but didn’t think it would actually happen.  Thank God it has and is and most of the time – I believe that NOTHING will go wrong with this pregnancy.  I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t have “rotten little thoughts that I hate” every so often.

Well, I’ve got a bunch more to say, but I’ll save it for the next post.  That’s it for now!  You may now continue on with your regular daily schedule.

The Geezers are taking over the world

My Uncle turned 50 recently, and my aunt and cousins threw a surprise party for him this past Sunday.

Uncle Rick

It was a ton of fun.  They have the most amazing house for outdoor parties, and are the most amazing hosts, and put together it makes for an amazing combination.

There was a ton of good food, and lots of family and friends.  It was a perfect day…the weather was amazing.  The little kids with no sense of internal body temperature played in the FREEZING COLD POOL, and shivered until they warmed up and then tried it again.


We waited in the back yard for a while, until we figured that it was about time for the birthday boy to be arriving.  Apparently his baseball game started later than it was supposed to….but no worries, ’cause we all had each other to chat to, and we are FABULOUS company, if I do say so myself.

After a while, we all relocated to the front yard to “surprise” him when he drove home…still with the chatting and entertaining our selves….. 

In the Front Yard

We waited and waited and waited, and FINALLY he drove up, and we all yelled, “SURPRISE” and the best part of it all was that he was.  He was actually surprised…..had no clue that his kids had planned this.  How fun is that?

We ate and ate and ate and ate.  There was so much good food, and then the games began.

Blind, Deaf and MuteCan’t have a party without games, and Daryl and Matt had planned a Geezer Game so that  Uncle Rick could see what life would be like after 50 and so that he could have a chance to practice before it really all came crashing down around him.

In teams of 3, the guys had to run around a cane 10 times so that they were nice and dizzy and off balance.  Then they had to run up the hill while they were still feeling off balance.  One guy couldn’t hear very well (deaf), and the second guy was bald and couldn’t see (blind), and the third guy couldn’t talk (mute).  Once they had their gear on, they were crippled by being tied to each other in 6 legged race style.  They had to go back down the hill, and then the blind guy had to golf a ball into a circle about 20 to 30 feet away. 

Once they did that, they had to run back up the hill…still crippled….and get on the trampoline and look for their marbles (’cause you lose your marbles when you get old). That was the funniest, seeing the guys try to get on and off the trampoline all tied together.  Uncle Rick even ended up with rub burn on his face from falling onto the trampoline.  You know it’s a sucessful family event when someone gets hurt.

Then they had to race over to the super long stairway, and try to make it down……still crippled……and then to the favorite past time of old guys – FISHING!  Each guy had to try and catch a fish…pretty funny to see the blind guy give it a go.On the Phone with Charlene

Debbie was on the phone with Charlene during all of this so even though she wasn’t physially there, it was kind of nice to have her there too – sort of……I sure miss you Char!

Then they had to race back to the finish line, and the group that did it the fastest won.  I don’t think they actually won anything, except for the bragging rights that their team beat the other two teams…….that’s good for something isn’t it?

Uncle Rick opened his presents, and was graced with a Geezer First Aid kit filled with support hose, Tums, laxative powder, hemerroid cream, bunion pads, and Denture Cleaner Tablets.  Matty fixed his billion year old guitar, and he got a cane with a bell, along with a number of amazing cards and well wishes.  I’m sure I’ve forgotten something, and so please forgive me if I didn’t mention your gift or card…..I’m blaming it on pregnancy brain, right now…..it wasn’t an intentional slight!

It was a really fun day, and I LOVE MY FAMILY!  I will say that at one point I was sitting with all my other brothers and sisters, and thinking -“This sucks!  We’re all here, and Chris is stuck in the hospital.“  That thought was quickly followed by, “I’m so grateful that he’s alive to be stuck in that hospital, and that I am only mouring his lack of attendance, and not his lack of life.“  It’s amazing how quickly your outlook can change when you are so grateful for life and realize that it is just so fragile.

Happy Birthday, Uncle Rick!

To see my whole picture set, click on any of the pictures and it’ll take you there.

We’re just a bit late……

…..but hey!  At least we made it before Father’s Day rolled around!  Last year we didn’t all get togethr to celebrate until alfter Father’s Day.  At least we know it’s the thought that counts………

Momma & Daughter's

Every year we’ve gotten together, Mom and the girls for a dinner and usually a coffee afterwards.  Well, seeing as this year’s just a little tiny bit different what with Chris in the hospital, and 3 of us on weird natural healthy diets – our plans were slightly off of normal.

The biggest thing was that Chelle didn’t make it.  Things are quite busy for her, and she just couldn’t swing it between her schedule and the girls and work and well…..she was jsut really tired out, and needed to stay home.  That was sad!  Very Sad!

The rest of us met at the hospital just before 7pm (’cause that’s when the shift change is, and we can’t be there with Chris anyway) and decided to go to Cactus Club.  We drove down Broadway, and when we passed Cactus Club, and parked up the next street, well – Earls was right on that corner, and so we just went there ’cause it was all of  about 4 steps closer! 

We laughed and talked and chatted about life and mostly about the food that we could or could not eat.  It’s fun that there are 3 of us on similar eating plans.  Makes it easier to not feel so left out when EVERYONE around you is gorging down on foods that you’re not supposed to have, and you’re gnawing on a plate of lettuce, and feeling quite like a rabbit.

Debbie had the most delicious mashed potatoes, and even bought a side order to take back to Chris, as he seems to be really enjoying his daily Mystery Meat Log – NOT!  When we finally finished our dinner’s, we decided to forgo the coffee much to Debbie’s dismay.  She had been waiting all day for her special drink, but we were thinking that Chris might be asleep if we waited too much longer.  The pills they give him do a really good job of knocking him out for the night – usually!

He had fallen asleep when we showed up, but just barely, and when we asked if he’d like a bit of company, he told us to come on in.  It was fun to just be in there and joking around with him.  It was quite the party with the 5 of us girls in there, but he seemed to handle it quite well.  It was nice to see him joking and laughing and even teasing Lisa ’cause she was a bit squeamish about his arm and leg.  Nothing says “family loving” like a little bit of mental torture… 

We finally cleared out ’cause it was getting late, and we were a bit loud.  Oops!  NOt only that, but Chris is only supposed to have 2 visitor’s at a time.  Oh well!  Not that it really matter’s now, ’cause he’s been transferred up to a regular ward.  That just seems so amazing.  It’s just one step closer to him coming home and being better.

If you want to see all the pics – not that there’s that many – just click on the picture at the top of the post and it’ll take you there.

Not Playing Fair

Angelica - 10 years old - May 2007Look at these pictures!  Aren’t they amazing?!?  I mean, maybe only I think that ’cause they are my kids, but seriously, they are pretty good for “school” pictures…….aren’t they?

Usually, with the pictures that we get home from the school, it’s a giant crap shoot as to whether or not they are actually going to be good pictures or not.

This year we took the regular school photo’s in September or October, and then about a month ago the kids came home with another form for more school pictures. 

I have to admit that I was a little annoyed.   I’ve never been to a school that did school pictures twice in one year, and while I can appreciate that kids change and grow so fast, and that they do look different – sometimes – from the beginning of the year to the end of the year……..all I could think was “money grab.”

It turns out that I wasn’t that far off.

Alexandra - 8 years old - May 2007

This was a fundraiser for the school.  It would have been nice had a notice come home explaining what the deal was, and maybe even the fact that this was a professional photographer doing the pics, and not some person who sees way too many “little brats” in the course of the day to really care if their hair is sticking out all over the place, and they have a giant piecs of lunch wedged in their front teeth, and their shirt has water stains on it from where they were “washing” their hands (and the rest of the washroom – it looks like)…..not that I would have ever really experienced anything like this particular scenario………

Any way, the day of the school pictures, I didn’t even try to do anything with my kids.  Told them to pick up whatever sort of clean clothes they could find off the floor of their bedrooms, and if they weren’t too dirty , then to throw they on.  I think I yelled at least twice for them to brush their teeth, although seeing as I didn’t march them into the bathroom personally – they just assumed that I was joking, and I don’t think it got done.  Looking at the pictures, I think that the girls brushed their hair that morning, although you can’t always tell with Xan…..at least in the pony tails, you can’t tell how greasy Geli’s hair is.  Aren’t I the picture of a perfect mom?  Dirty clothes, Greasy Hair, and no teeth brushed…….sweet!

Jeremy - 6 years old - May 2007Then the pictures came home, and I was shocked.  Despite my lack of grooming, the pictures are so sweet.

Although I do think that Jeremy’s head is cocked over a little to far to the right – they are still amazing pictures.  Xan just about ALWAYS takes a good picture, so I wasn’t really shocked when I saw hers.  Jeremy’s wasn’t too bad either.  I will admit that I’d have loved to see Geli smiling a bit more, but she usually has such a hard time taking really good pictures that I was THRILLED with this one of her.

The deal with the school is that they got 1 dollar for each child they took a picture of.  Then the company developed the photos, chose the best one.  DEVELOPED and SENT HOME 6 sheets of varying sizes and types of the photo, AND once you’ve got those cute pictures in your grubby little fingers (although I’m starting to swell, and so mine are not as little as I’d like them to be) it’s awfully hard to refuse them. 

Sneaky, Sneaky photography company.

It was $37 for the package of 6 sheets, or $14 per sheet.  Obviously it was cheaper to get the package, but I really didn’t want to pay over $100 for some pictures of my kids no matter how nice they were.

I did however, take one sheet of each of them WAY OVERPRICED at $14 and got two “3 x 5″‘s and eight “1 x 2″s or whatever the little tiny size is.

If even only a handful of the parents did this, then that photography studio is making a killing.  It annoys me that I was sucked into their little scheme.   Oh well!  Cute pics!  Now I just have to get over it!

30 Weeks – OH! MY! GOODNESS!

Here I am at 30 weeks.  To see the whole set of pregnancy pictures, just click on the photo, and it’ll take ya there. 

Wow, I can hardly believe that I’ve made it to 30 weeks already!  I remember December 1st, and peeing on a stick in the Langly Superstore washroom, and being so excited and surprised and scared and shocked and really quite unbelieveing and just about every other emotion that you can list. 

It’s been such a roller coaster of a journey up until this point, and while I know that we are not at the end yet…..time just seems to be creeping up on me, and I’m so not ready yet.

Well, that’s not entirely true.  I was ready to be holding my baby a LOOOOOOOOONG time ago, but I don’t have “things” ready for this baby.  “Things” like the crib and change table and diaper bag and paint for the room, and cloth diapers and well….most everything!  I had a melt down on Jon today!  It kinda feels like he’s not really been supportive of getting ready for this baby.  Not that he’s not been supportive, ’cause that is so NOT the case…………….BUT, when I’ve asked about buying things or talked about different things that we need to get – he’s not shown me much excitement.  He’s been very non-commital about it all.

I don’t know if it has anything to do with his own hurts and fears for the future based on passed events, or if he just doesn’t care about getting it all done “perfectly” or if he’s just been too busy…….or what?

It’s stressing me out that certain things aren’t done, and tht I really don’t have any clear time line for when they will be done.  We also went shopping today and I was particularly frustrated that we came home empty handed.

With Jon working 16 hour days all last week, he told me that we’d take today off, and I had a Doctor’s Appointment this morning, and then we’d go shopping for a crib and dresser/change table.

My Doctor’s appointment went so good.  I was concerned about the Gestational Diabetes, and NO WORRIES!  I passed the test with amazing numbers, although I don’t know what those numbers were.  All I know is that he said that everything was fabulous, and I totally didn’t need to worry about gestational diabetes.  PHEW!  One less thing to occupy my overloaded brain.  He had also gotten the results back from the ultrasound that I had on Tuesday, and everything is looking perfect.  Baby is measuring perfectly on target, and they estimated his weight to be totally average at 3 and half pounds.

I had only gained 1 pound in the last 5 weeks, which almost makes up for the 12 pounds I did in the month before that.  I weigh 196 pounds, which to me is unbelievable.  I weighed well over 200 pounds just starting out the previous 3 pregnancies, and so to be under 200 with 10 weeks left is fabulous.  With Geli I was 214 pounds when I delivered.  So, if I am anywhere under that, I am some kinda happy!  Not that I’m aiming for that number, but around 200 was my goal for the end of this pregnancy.  Looks like I’m on schedule.  YAH!

The heartbeat was 148 bpm, and my blood pressure was 100/60.  Baby is still head down.  The ultrasound tech told us that on Tuesday, and I am so thrilled ’cause for the LOOOOOONGEST time, he was breech, and I was startng to worry that he might get too comfortable in that position, and I really don’t want to have a c-section if I can possibly avoid it.  The doctor figured that he was down today as well, and that would comfirm the fact that I can feel his little bum just under my right ribcage…….it was either a bum or a head, and I really hoped that I wasn’t poking at his head!

I am now into the 2 week appointments, and have to go back on the 15th of June to see him again.  I have a list of questions, and should probably start writing them down for that appointment – ya think?  It’s hard to believe that we’re getting so close. I know I keep saying that, but as much as I hoped, I don’t know that at the beginning that I really believed that I’d be here right now. 

We drove into Baby’s World (just off the Lougheed Hwy – beside the IKEA), and looked at the crib set there.  FREAKING CRAP!  They were expensive.  I’ve been saving up money, but I don’t have that much!  I do really want to get a matching set for this child.  So, we are still looking.  We did find something that we can be happy with at the Bay, but it’s only a crib and change table, there isn’t a matching dresser.   It’s hard to match up the wood and the style when you buy pieces seperately.  The sales associate told us that they have sales on the baby furniture every 3 weeks, and so we will keep checking back until that set goes on sale, and if we find a better set in the mean time, then we won’t worry about it.

Although it was a nice day with Jon, it still felt like a colossal waste of time ’cause we accomplished nothing.  I’m hoping that we can pick up the paint tomorrow, and get started first thing next week.  

I’m still not sure what I am going to do about the crib bedding.  I though that I had something picked out, and that Jon liked it, and then he “very non-commitally” changed his mind…………….AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHH!  It’s okay!  I’ll be okay once things start to fall into place, and I’ve told Jon that I want the majority of the “Stuff” finished by July 1st.  I don’t want to be fiddling with the big stuff when the kids are home from school for the holiday’s.  Fortunately for Jon, school is in until the 28th of June!  Then I just have to figure out what to do with myself and the kids for the month of July, and then we’re good to go.  YAH!   Can you tell I’m excited?  Just a little bit???

Fun Times with Papa

Dad and J goofing aroundWe had breakfast with my parents yesterday. 

Jon was still wokring at the conference.  It was his last day, and to be quite honest with you – I was on my last nerve.  The kids had started bickering quite a bit on Thursday, and had moved into full blown fighting on Friday, and well…..I didn’t really have much hope that Saturday would be fabulous.  Jon had taken Xandra with him to be the “Soundman’s Helper”. 

Dad and J as a walrusI remember going to “help” my dad play golf.  I’m really sure that he didn’t need the “help” from me, but those are some of the best memories I have…..getting up really, really early, and going with dad for the super long drive up to Squamish or wherever else they’d go, and walking around the course.  I remember washing the balls a million times, and getting to stop after the first nine holes so we could get a snack, and attempting to drag the golf bag around, and being super quick with a new tee when they’d wreck the one they had been using, or even getting a new ball from the bag when they wacked it too far in to the trees or into the pond.

Any way, so Jon took Xan, and at least that meant that I only had to referee between two, and not three.  As it turns out, it was the wrong two.  For some reason, Gelica and Jeremy fight………..and fight, and fight , and fight…….it never seems to end.  The Friday night, Jon had taken Geli to help out, and Xan and J got along so perfectly.  Maybe it’s just Xan…..she seems to be able to get along with anyone.  Oh well!  So, I got a hold of my parents, and they hadn’t left to go in to see Chris, yet. 

We met up at the Ricky’s in Walnut Grove, and had a really nice breakfast.  This is my favorite picture of J and Dad.  Dad looks so happy, and relaxed.  It’s nice to see him like this.  He carries quite a bit of the stress of everything that’s going on right now.  It’s nice to get those little moments when you can forget about “things” for just a second and just “be in the moment”.

Bunny Ears

Is it really still this week?

I have a hard time believeing that I wrote that post only 4 days ago.

This has been the LOOOOOOONGEST week ever, and truthfully – It’s not over, yet……

Tuesday I was part of a pre-conference all day meeting that was pretty fun.  Wednesday I was able to make it in to see Chris, although he was a bit backed up, and I didn’t get to see him as much as I would have liked to.  I got home from seeing him, and had a message waiting for me on my home phone……..from my doctor’s office……the Obstetrical Doctor……telling me not to worry, just to call…………..

Yah Right!  Those calls are almost NEVER good!  So, I call back, but I know it’s about the gestational diabetes test that I took last week.  YUP!  I flunked the one hour test, and have to go in  for the 3 hour.

It oculd have been worse news.  I could have had such bad levels that they would have just sent me to the gestational diabetes clinic, and we could have carried on from there.

Apparently, the cut off level is 7.8, and I was at an 8.4 – anything higher than a 10.3, and I would have had a direct pass to the clinic.  So, I still have a chance at passing the 3 hour, although when I went in to pick up the requisition from the office yesterday, the nurse didn’t really think that would be the case.  I’ll just have to show her……

So, I called my naturopath, to ask a few questions, and she has put me on some stuff that is supposed to level my blood sugar levels, and I’m back HARD CORE on the candida diet cause it’s supposed to also stabilize blood sugar levels.  So much fun – not!

I will admit that the news that I had flunked came at a not-so-fabulous time.  I am doing okay emotionally.  Not fabulous, but better than really bad!  With everything else that is going on, this one more piece of news kinda pushed me over the edge and I had a bad night on Wednesday night.  Kept obsessing about everything, and couldn’t sleep until after 2am.  Nice, eh?  Especially as I had to get up at 6:30am the next morning to take a shower before I started Thursday.

Thursday was a crazy busy day.  Did a ton of running around, and had to drive into Langley to pick up the Meds from the Naturopath, and was supposed to pick up one thing from a Pharmacy, but I hit 3 different ones, and it wasn’t available at any of them.  I had to blast home ’cause the kids were walking – at least that gave me a few extra minutes.  It’s the difference between thinking that I have to go and pick them up around 2:30pm, or they come home around 3pm.  Their schoool actually gets out at 2:48pm, but if you want a parking spot you have to come a bit early, and you have to factor in the driving time (even if it is only 3 minutes) – when they walk home – I don’t even have to think about them until they show up just after 3pm – that is soooooo nice!

So, last night after I gave a really lame attempt at getting the kids off to bed (Jon normally does the bedtime routine ’cause I hate the 500 million stall tactics, and hove no patience at that point), I laid down with J to get him to settle down and go to sleep……..and I fell asleep!  That’s not really a problem except for the fact that I’d told Xan that I’d come and lay with her for a minute as soon as J was asleep.   I think I stalled her off until tonight!  At least that what I remember from my end of the conversation, mind you I wouldnt’ bet he most reliable person to ask at that point ’cause I was mostly asleep.

I woke up feeling pretty good this morning.  The kids got off to school, and I got ready for the day.  I’ve been shopping this morning already, and visited Jon at the conference.  I’m home now – OBVIOUSLY – and am just finishing up a salad with some chicken on it, and have to get busy.

I have a bunch of stuff that I NEED to get done, and it has to be done either today or tomorrow.  I should really just do it today to get it over and done with.  I’ve been feeling more pregnant, and awkward as far as my body goes.  I’m getting bigger, and am starting to feel a bit uncomfortable, but I’m not complaining…..too much!

I’ll be 29 weeks tomorrow, and am so excited to have made it this far.  Only a bit longer and our sweet little boy will be here.  I have an ultrasound on Tuesday, and it will be fun to get another peek at him.

Well, that’s my week so far.  Hope you’ve all had a fabulous week, and have an even better weekend.

This Week

This week feels a bit nuts.

I really shouldn’t complain as it hasn’t even really started, yet; but I know where it’s headed.  Jon is doing sound all week for a conference, and while it’s decent money for a weeks worth of work, it’s  hard week on our family.

It sucks even more ’cause this year they started the conference on the Victoria Day Monday Holiday.  Last year, the holiday was the day after everything wrapped up, and it was so nice to have a day off.  This year, I had the kids at home all by myself, and Jon was gone, and well…….it was just a rough day.

I’d like to think that I’m further ahead of “things” than I was was this morning, but I’m not entirely certain of that.  I have a full day tomorrow, and am hoping to pop in to see Chris on Wednesday.  The trip in and out is always a big deal.  I don’t mind it so much, but it jsut really takes up your day.  Thursday, and Friday I’m helping out a friend, and then I have to survive Saturday by myself with the kids, and then Sunday is crazy busy with both Jon and I involved, and well…then we start another week, and I already have Monday and Tuesday booked up of that week, and will probably want to go in to see Chris next Wednesday.  I might just book off Thurday entirely, and so far I one appointment first thing on Friday morning.  The only good thing about all of this is that by the time these next two weeks are done – I will be finished 30 weeks.  Wow!  We really are headed into the home stretch, and I still have SO MUCH to do.

We did manage to clear out the baby’s room, and scraped the first layer of filth off the walls.  We still need to clean them really good, and then fill all the holes, and then paint.  I also need to steam clean the carpet REALLY well!  Then we just have to get some furniture to fill it up.  I did hang some of the little clothes in the closet.  SO CUTE!  I really can’t wait until we have this little one.

I did hear a very sad story today though.  The pastors of the church that the conference is renting came past the church today, and they had been at the hospital visiting with a couple who had just had a stillborn.  It’s so sad.  The baby was 11 days overdue, and moving around and everything seemed to be fine, and then it just stopped moving.  The lady had the baby last night.  It’s so hard to hear things like that.  It doesn’t scare me, but it does make me wonder if they had induced 2 days earlier, would there have been a different outcome?  Just like, if Nathaniel had been born at 25 weeks, and not just died, he could have been alive.  I know that you can’t live in the “what ifs” and “could have beens”, but sometimes it’s hard to not think the thoughts.