Second Chances

Siah’s sleeping and I’ve showered and I think I have a few moments to blather on and on and on.

I love the feeling of being connected through my laptop, and at the same time I hate it.

I’m trying to find balance in my life and sometimes it seems so difficult. I’m at home – by choice – and as much as I can handle being “alone” for longer periods than some others can; I still need contact, and sometimes it comes in the form of this website and sometimes it comes in the form of on-line friendships that I started 4 years ago and sometimes it comes from “in person” friendships and sometimes it comes through family. There are different ways to connect and different levels to connect on, and again, I try to find balance.

Balance, balance, balance, schmalance!

I’ve been just “playing” with Siah. Building block towers for the sole purpose of him being able to knock them over. I barely get one made and it’s demolished. I have made literally hundreds of these towers over the past little while; and while I build, I have time to think.

I didn’t do as much “playing” with the other three kids. I was younger and more naive and maybe a bit lazy and definately tired and I was just trying to survive. Once Xandra came along and I was forced to stay at home more and “do” less things, I often regretted not just enjoying the one on one time that I had with Geli. I took it for granted and I would never get that time back.

I’ve been given a second chance (of sorts). The 3 older kids are all in school and I have a full day at home to just enjoy and appreciate the time that I have with my baby. I could clean the house. I could craft. I could go shopping. I could go out with friends. I could blog. I could just waste time on the Internet. I could do so many things, and I do……BUT, I am enjoying my baby. I am just sitting with him and reading him books. I am rocking him in his room and nursing him without multi-tasking. I nap when he goes down for a nap – from time to time.

I’m trying to really enjoy this second chance. This chance to just enjoy and live without letting life pass me by so fast.

It also makes me think about the whole rest of my life and trying to enjoy and grab every last bit out of everything that I do. Really think about what things are important…..really think about what things are going to stick with me in the long run and which things just really don’t matter, short term and long term….I want to be there for my kids – right now. This is a one time deal….I don’t get this time back again. I’m trying to make the most of what’s in front of me right now.

Balance…it all comes back to balance.

I’m so grateful for second chances.

and just because… here’s a video of Siah laughing hysterically.

Enough with the Pizza’s and the Cheesecake….

Alrighty, so I have exactly 2.348 seconds before my little (large would be more accurate) Hoover starts complaining that I’m on the computer and wants to knock over the 1,079, 342, 457th block tower this morning.

I’m not sure exactly what’s up, but ‘Siah was up from 2-3:15am last night or this morning or however you want to call that… happy and in that half drugged/asleep state, but talking and singing and most definately AWAKE.

He finally went back to sleep, but it took me a little bit to settle back down, and I was DREADING this morning with everything in me.

It went pretty well though, and everyone was off to school on time and didn’t forget anything and there were no tears and no melt-downs, and as far as I’m concerned…that’s a very positive morning.

Yesterday, ‘Siah was up freaky early (like 615am….that’s freaky early in my estimation) and then went down for a 2.5 hour nap that started at 9am just after the kids eft for school and if you can do the math – ended at 11:30am, AND…….I had crawled back into bed and managed to (minus a few phone call interruptions) sleep the whole time as well. So, lets just say that yesterday was a good day, and after last night, I was really hoping for a re-run, but NOPE!

Little stinker fell asleep, but didn’t want to let me go, and then woke up at 10am. Stupid Expectations…they get me every time.

I had mom and dad and Chris out for dinner last night, and they stayed until the kids were in bed, so that was SO HELPFUL.

Everyone at J’s school is raving about how wonderful he is doing, and cynical me is wondering if he’s really doing that well, or if they are all just saying it so that we keep him on the Ritalin. Not that we are planning on taking him off it right now…we are still in the trying it out stage and have no intentions of mucking around with stuff until we give it all a good shot, BUT…..

….it’s still as messy and frustrating in my head, and as much as I could just ramble on and on about everything that’s flying hrough my head – I’m not going to subject you to that….I’ll keep it until I have some clearer, more consise things to say.

Regardless, J’s doing okay, but night times are rough and he seems to be more hyper when the meds wear off…..Is this normal? or is it just our perception? I dunno.

Siah is cruising the furniture and even the walls like a monkey and is clapping and waving hi and bye and he is just happy and darling and everything that we’ve been waiting for and hoping for the past long years.

Xani is her happy bubbly self….and we adore her. She is being so helpful and seems to really be “getting” responsibility and pitching in and we are so proud of her.

Angelica is getting so big, and honestly is struggling a bit. She is so upset that we ask her to help out or pitch in with housework…she doens’t like that she has to prove that she’s responsible. She just wants us to blindly trust her, and the problem with that is that she’ making some stupid, stupid choices, and tends to react when confronted with a situation or issue. It must be so hard. I don’t know what’s going on or why she’s acting like this, but we are talking and so that’s good. I wonder what of it is hormones, and what is preeteen stuff and what is….I dunno. She’s a great kid and we love her, but she’s making some hard choices and learning (in our minds) the hard way….but she and we’ll figure it all out and it’ll end up good.

Jon’s been away for the past 2 nights, and is coming home “sometime” today. That’ll be nice. I’ve missed him.

Well, I gotta go and dig ‘Siah outta the plants….he’s discovered dirt…..:rollseyes:….and that’s just so much fun!

Two Medium Pizza’s, one and a half pieces of Cheesecake and Five Pounds later…..

Apparently, that’s how much dairy is too much.

I feel BRUTAL today.

I’m supposed to be trying to add some dairy into my diet to see how it affects Josiah (and myself). We are both on some naturopathic “stuff” to help us to deal with the different affects that it has on us. And apparently I’ve figured out how much is too much.

‘Siah has a tiny bit of a rash on his cheeks, and while it could be the starting of exczema, it could also be from teething and his fingers and slobber in and out of his mouth ALL FREAKING DAY. But….he has been dealing with what seems to be acid reflux, and has actually been barfing a little bit. All of that would indicate to me that it would be okay for me to injest a little bit of dairy if I came across it at a restaurant or even going to someone’s house for a meal or even if I wanted to cheat a little, but apparently 4 days of cheating with a half a piece of cheesecake, and then splitting a medium pizza with Jon , and then splitting another medium pizza with Jon because the first was just that good, and then my veryown piece of cheesecake…..apparently that it where the line is drawn….somewhere in all the middle of that.

And for me….I feel bloated, and people in the next city can hear my stomach as it grumbles its complaints to me feeding it that horrible, terrible, no good dairy….and I just feel sluggish and have a headache and feel like I’m in a brain fog, and not to mention that I’ve gained 5 pounds. Nice, eh? It was so not worth it.

So, I think that what I’m going to do is to just go back to taking it easy on the dairy in our own house and with the way that we normally eat. I feel SO MUCH BETTER off of it, and apparently, so does ‘Siah.

In Jeremy related news….

He had another good day. He was thrilled to bring home 4 stickers, AGAIN, and even more thrilled to bring home a friend. Yup! He actually brought home a friend from school, and they played so nicely together for about two hours, until the kid’s father came to pick him up. That is the first time that J has brought a kid home from school, and again….it could all be coincidence or not.

Now, after my whole… negative side effects blah, blah blah from yesterday….

We found his lunch from yesterday (almost the entire thing) in the front pouch of his backpack….so that’s not good, especially seeing as I found almost his entire lunch in his backpack again today….so appaerently lunch is not going so well.

We’re going to go in and talk to the principal tomorrow and we’ll mention that, and see what he says about it all; and see if he can help us out with it.

Jeremy seems to be eating well at home, and if lunch is the only meal affected, then Oh Well! He’s eaten an apple and a muffin and some popcorn since he came home, and we’re just about to have dinner so we’ll see. I still think he’s eating enough during the day, as a whole, just not “in school”.

Oh well! I’m sure it’ll all work out. Right?

On the Second Day…

Jeremy Goofing AroundCan’t you just see this continuing on until day 46, 389, 271 and you are all sick of hearing about it?

Nah, I can’t either, but seeing as it’s kinda what’s consuming a large part of our brain space at this exact moment….this is what you get to hear about.

Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers and best wishes and what ever else encouragement that you guys sent our way. It means so much to have you there cheering us on, especially on the hard days.

We got a call from the principal last night and apparently, yesterday was a FREAKING AMAZING day. He figures that it was a different child that showed up to school yesterday morning. Still cheerful and full of life, but not frantic, in a manic sort of way.

He sat through an assembly, people!?!?!

An entire assembly, a whole row away from the teacher (or any teacher, for that matter) and stayed still and focused and engaged the entire thing, and then at the end when the entertainer said that he wanted questions from kids who were sitting still and quiet with their hand raised and a smile on their face, apparently Jeremy sat exactly like that for about 4 minutes. It’s almost hard to believe that was my child that he was talking about.

I’m still all over the place with emotions and feelings and such. It’s hard to know that Jeremy is having his “Good” time at school, and not with us. I still don’t really have a good idea of how this is helping him or what his behavior is like or how it’s even really different.

We get about half an hour or so at home when we think the medicine has kicked in and then we get the tail end of it between 3-4pm before it’s completely worn off.

The RitalinSR slow releasing drug that lasts about 8 hours….so basically it’s just a morning dose and an afternoon dose but in only one pill. It wears off and then we get “normal” Jeremy for the afternoon and evening.

I feel guilty that we are using the Ritalin, and I feel guilty that if it’s working in his favor, then how come we waited so long. I feel happy that he might have good days at school and be a little easier to deal with, for the teachers, and I feel jealous that we don’t get to reap the benefits of him being on the drug. I feel guilty that I’m upset that I don’t get the benefit, and I hate that I’m admitting that my son is sometimes tough to handle. I hate that I have to deal with any of this at all. I hate that others often don’t “get” Jeremy. I hate that anyone has to “get” Jeremy in the first place. It’s all just a huge messy ball of feelings and emotions and questions and wonderings.

He had another good day at school today. It was a 4 sticker day. He has a chart and can get a total of 4 stickers per day, if he behaves appropriately in the AM1 (up until recess), AM2 (up until lunchtime), PM (the entire afternoon) and OTHER (PE or an Assembly or Library, or somthing like that).

So, this is Day 2 on Ritalin, and Day 2 of 4 stickers….I still am, not for certain, tying the two together as his week typically goes something like 4 stickers, and then 1 sticker and then 3, ad then 4 and then 2, followed by a week of 4, 4, 4, 1 and 3…..there is absolutely no rhyme or reason to his behavior pattern.

I told him that if he gets 4 stickers tomorrow and Friday that we’d go and get a Booster Juice on Friday, so we’ll see.

So far, we’ve not had any negative side effects, and I’m hoping it stays that way. He ate a HUGE breakfast, and all his lunch was gone when he brought his backpack home (he has to eat in the principal’s office at the moment because of a prior transgression). He’s come home from school and had a snack, and so I’m hoping that the “loss of appetite” side effect never materializes, and the other two common side effects are jittery-ness and a difficult time sleeping.

Well, he’s pretty much ALWAYS had a hard time sleeping, and so last night I didn’t even try to put him down until 9pm. We’ll try for a bit earlier tonight, but I wouldn’t say that his behaviour has been any different yesterday after school/evening and today after school so far – than it normally is.

So far, the positives seem to be outnumbering the negatives…..I don’t think there really have been any negatives so far…..except for the mental and emotional stress, but I was feeling that before in regards to him and so basically the stress has just been been changed to a different matter surrounding the same situation.

So, basically we’re doing okay?!?! I think? I hope?

The First Day…….

This is such a head trip.

Have we done the right thing? Have we done the wrong thing? Is is going to be okay? Will there be negative side effects? Will this be the absolute best thing in the world with AMAZING results? Will the dose be too small? What will today be like at school? Should we have done this sooner? Should we have not done it at all?

So many questions, and for right now, there are no clear and comforting answers.

We picked up the prescrition of Ritalin for Jeremy last night, and even that set off a whole ton of questions and concerns for us. We had figured that we’d be picking up a bottle of 5mg pills and that we’d start off with one pill for a few days, and then re-evaluate if he needed a mid-day dose or if it needed to be upped to 10mg, and that we’d go from there.

The bottle we picked up had 20mg of the Slow Release formulation.

It was unexpected, and after the day that I’d had – it just about sent me over the edge.

It was such a bad day, and I’m not sure why. I felt so insecure, and every encounter with every person that I ran into just exacerbated that feeling of inadequacy and insecurity. it was like I was the stupidest, uninformed, person alive. I felt like a huge burden and an even bigger inconvenience, and I couldn’t seem to pull myself together enough to handle even the stupidest, most meaningless tasks.

I couldn’t call the Pharmacy to see if the pediatrician had called in the script for Jeremy. I couldn’t call the school to tell them that we were going to be picking Geli and Jer up 15 mintues early because they had a Chiropractic appt. I gave Geli my Chiro appt because I couldn’t handle going to another appt and letting the Dr down (he told me to lose 10lbs and to go to a cardio core boot camp). I dropped off a test of Jeremy’s at the Natuopath’s office, and after talking with the receptionist – left feeling stupider than dirt….over something that I have a fair amount of knowledge about.

It was just absolutely overwheling.

And then, to top it all off, I ate almost a whole bag of chips by myself after all the kids were down for the night….talk about stress eating. I haven’t been that down for a VERY LONG TIME.

I’m feeling a bit better today, but the desire to hide and not talk to anyone is still quite strong, and that leads me to believe that I’m still not doing all that great. It has honestly been so long since I felt like this, that the feeling is almost foreign to me.

I recognize that I used to feel like this ALL THE FREAKING TIME and I’m so thankful that I don’t feel like this anymore. I do think that this is just the stress of it all, and that I’ll be okay soon.

It’s very to hard to explain how I’m feeling because I don’t feel like I’m in a hole, or even that I’m close to “the HOLE” but it’s more like a cloud settled down around me, and I’m waiting for the fog to burn off.

Jon talked to the principal at Jeremy’s school, yesterday….he is probably our biggest advocate. I mean, the Learning Assistance Teacher is also a huge advocate of Jeremy’s, but the principal is just amazing. UTTERLY AMAZING!

He asked that we not mention to anyone that Jeremy is on the drug, and because he sees Jeremy everyday in his reading group and other times through out the day, he’ll be able to get a good feel for how this week goes, and then at the end of the week, he’s going to talk to Jer’s teacher and see if she’s noticed any change at all….as well as the LA guy.

I can’t say that there was anything life shattering in a scary or positive way this morning. He wasn’t a zombie, and he seemed like his happy, lovable self….Jon thinks that he was maybe a bit more focused….for example….

…..Jeremy decided to clean the TV Room because he didn’t want Josiah to get hurt by any of the stuff in there(video games and cords, etc.). Geli called him away in the middle of it to see something in the front room…he went looked and came right back to cleaning up the TV Room….rinse, lather, repeat… happened twice….that’s two opportunities for distraction, and he was able to stay focused. I think that he’s done that before, but it certainly is the exception, and not the norm…..

….so, are we seeing into things because we’re watching for them or is this for real….

I guess we’ll find out eventually, won’t we.

I’m really hoping that we don’t end up dealing with any of the funky side effects, and only get the good and positive effects. That’s not too much to hope or ask for, is it?

Have any of you dealt with any of this? Any advice or suggestions? Things to be watching for or looking out for? Positive feedback or otherwise?

So, you are more than welcome to come along for this wide roller coaster ride as we travel the Ritalin Highway.

I’m hoping the pit stops are few and far between.

Really, I got Nothing for Ya!

I’ve been knitting and crochetting like crazy, and as fun as that sounds, sometime it feels kind of pointless because seriously, what am I going to do with the stuff that I’ve made……who wants to buy little sweaters and stuff going into the summer.

I do have plans to maybe go and sell at aa craft fair in the fall/winter, but it does feel kind of pointless right now – this is aside from the fact, that I just like to do it.

I just posted an update from Momma about Chris over on the other blog, and please forgive the picture where it looks like he’s giving you “half a bird” – I wanted to put in a picture of him, and that was the most recent one that I have that looked even half decent….although that might e a bit of a stretch….just get lost in those blues.

J has an appt with Dr. Cathy today and the most exciting thing that I can tell you since the last time we went is that “sometimes” he sleeps better, and…….his teacher has mentioned that he’s not quite as fidgity as usual, but I had so hoped for a bigger or more drastic result of this last set of “stuff” that we’ve tried.

It looks like we are going to be giving the Ritalin a try, although I am just struggling so hard with it.

Although, I will admit that I’m just so tired of the randomness of everything and of HOW MUCH EFFORT we have to put in just to barely stay afloat, and honestly – it doesn’t really feel like we are even floating most days.

I’m not saying that we are giving up and just putting him on some drug to try and make things easier for us…’s one of the things that we are willing to try to see if it will help him. He got in a fight at school yesterday, and I question why we didn’t hear about it before today, but he was upset with kid B because he was picking on kid A, and inrrationally he chose to try and defend or right the wrong in a situation that had nothing to do with him and……he got in trouble….it’s that kind of randomness that gets him into trouble….good intentions, but bad choices….really, that wasa terrible, terrible example of some of the things that he does, but I’m not going to delete….only moving forward….

So, we’re going to talk to the Naturopath about where to go from here……and there’s a more than lilkely chance that we’ll be ordering up some Ritalin over the weekend……yikes!

I could cry….I’m okay, but it’s stressful…I won’t lie.

So, How’s your day going?

ps….I got a comment from Caroline last post, and I just wanted to say, that while I’m not blogging for the comments, it sure is nice to know that there is someone out there on the other side of my computer screen, and I appreciate hearing from you…so Thanks!

What a Weekend!

It feels like a million days ago since I last wrote, and yet it’s only been since Friday.

I guess that with the Long Weekend, that does make it a little longer than usual, but I think that the real issue is that we DID. SO. MUCH!

On Saturday we got up, and started to clean/clear out the garage. It’s kinda our “catchall” and eventually things become overwhelming and we “have” to deal with it. It’s terribly embarrassing for me when the big sliding garage door gets opened for Jon to take out the lawn mower or for the kids to get their bikes or the go cart and the garage is so full of crap – especially because in our neighborhood, the East Indians have spotless, eat off the floor garages, and so we are the oddity.

We ended up taking the broken metal framed bunk bed to the metal recycling place, and a WHOLE TON of newspapers and cardboard and other recycling to the Recycling Depot, we returned $27 dollars of cans and tetra packs to the Bottle Depot, and then we took an entire van load of actual garbage (including one broken dresser) to the Dump.

You know how there is always misplaced crap left over after you do a HUGE clean…well, a bunch of that “stuff” is still sitting in my front hall. I have to figure out what to do with it, and actually get it to it’s proper location.

We’ve set aside a bunch of stuff to garage sale, and I think that we are going to Garage sale for the morning, one Saturday, and then Freecycle anything left in the afternoon. I just want to get rid of it all.

I think that as a part of a more simpler life, I’m trying to pare down and get rid of junk and clutter and just have the things that we really need. It’s a mind shift, but I’m up for it….my kids on the other hand…..well, Jeremy is struggling a bit. We stopped off at Value Village yesterday to try and find some shorts for ‘Siah and some Capri’s for Geli. Jeremy desperatly wanted to buy some junky toys, and had a melt down when we wouldn’t let him spend his money on a bag of old McDonalds crap plastic toys.

Jon and I started talking and we are looking into finding him a set of “something” that he can buy a piece at a time and add to it…something like a wooden train set or a track or I dunno……like Lego, where you can buy smaller sets to build a whole. We just don’t want to be wasting money on junk, and we’re trying to teach our kids to not waste money on junk.

How do you teach your kids the importance of investing wisely in things (money, property, clothes, etc) as opposed to the instant gratification of the cheap and easy crap?

Anyway, so Saturday felt like a really long day, especially when you have a tiny baby who can’t get down and play n the middle of everything, but is too squirmy to hold, and besides it hard to accomplish too much while holing him….by Saturday night I had such a sore shoulder and arm. Not Fun!

Sunday was busy, and Jon went down to the States in the Evening, and so i went over to my mom’s place with the kids. As fun as that is, and as nice as it is to have other adults around to talk to and to hlep out, it’s still stressful when you feel like you are on edge about what your kids might get into and what they might do….it’s a trade off, but Mom kept the girls overnight, and so it was only me and the boys that headed home, and both of them were asleep by the time I made it home.

Monday morning, Jon and I and the boys went for breakfast, and then headed out to Langley to pickup the girls. We then hit the Value Village, and by the time we made it home, we had just enough time to run some kids through the bath, and to make a quick dinner and ship everyone off to bed.

It felt like a Sunday night, but it was a Monday which was so weird. Watched a little Bones and House, and then when we should have gone to bed around 10pm, Jon and I chatted until 11pm. It’s good to talk, but I knew that we’d be tired in the morning…especially with how Josiah’s been waking up just about every night somewhere between 12 and 3pm.

Last night ust have been a special night, because the little angel didn’t wake up until 4:30am – which in my estimation is an AWESOME time because it’s still early enough that he would do right back to sleep while I nurse him, and it’s not close enough to the time when I have to get up. BUT……But…well, let me skip around a bit….Jon took ‘Siah back to his crib around 5am, and then we settled back down to sleep.

At 6am or somewhere around there, it sounded like the house next door to us was bombed, or else that a plane had crashed in our cul de sac or that Abbotsford was being bombed…..there was the HUGEST crash of THUNDER and it went on and on and on and on and it sounded so loud and close and it was so startling.

It ended up just being a thunder shower and the rain poured and the thunder rolled…its sounding a bit like a Garth Brooks song right now, but it was amazing to listen to…it woke Xandra up though and she came into our room just a little nervous. It was pretty cool though.

So, that ended off our weekend and started this new week off with a BANG….literally.

Now, I’ve got to tidy the house. It’s not that bad, but it’s the first day the kids are back at school after the weekend and there are lots of little things to do, so I’d better get off here and get busy.

Water Rats

We went into White Rock on Wednesday to see some friends of ours, and to have fish ‘n chips and to visit down at the beach.

They have 4 girls, and we have 4 kids so between the two families that is…..YUP…..8 kids. Wow, we really took that whole “Be Fruitful and Multiply” thing to heart, eh?

Here, you can see 5 of the kids, and the baby’s head….the two older girls were sitting at their OWN table AWAY from the LITTLE KIDS!

We went to a cute little resaurant – Moby Dick’s – with, obviously, a whale/sea theme, and it was pretty cute, except that when we sat down, we were overwhelmed by the BRUTAL stench of the toilets. Now, I don’t like to cause a scene, but I was willing to get up and leave even though we were already seated and ordering drinks because IT. WAS. SO. BAD!

We did end up asking if we could go out to the patio and when we got out there – the patio was just basicallly big enough for the 12 of us, and so it was awesome private dining.

The food was delicious – going down – but after about half an hour felt like CRAP in my stomach. We don’t eat a lot of fried food, and so this is a BRUTAL amount of grease to subject out systems too. But, like I said…..DELICIOUS going down…

We sat around and ate and talked and ate and talked some more until they very blatently started hurying us along and Honestly, we had JUST finished our meal and it wasn’t like the inside of the restaurant was full, so I’m not sure what the deal was.

Regardless, it was so nice to sit and chat with our good friends. We’ve missed them tons. These are the type of friends that are “life-long friends” I’ve been friends with Lala for our ENTIRE lives, and we’ve known the men since we were 14/15/16 years old. We have the kind of friendship that we “just love”. If we’re close, then we get together. If we’re not so close, then we call or e-mail….or not! There is no pressure, there are no hurt feelings…and even if it’s been a while since we’ve talked, it always just falls right back into that comfortable talk about anything kinda space. No Judgements or pressure – just friendship, acceptance and love….it’s not very often – if ever – that you will find yoursaelf with friends like these, and I am so thankful and grateful to have you guys in our lives. You mean more to us than you could possibly know and so much more than I could ever explain in words.

After dinner we headed out to the beach, and even though it was a grey and overcast day, the kids were DESPERATE to play on the beach, and once down on the beach, the water was just too enticing, and so they had to wade, and well…..once they were in wading… just have to swim, and SWIM THEY DID.

We could hear them screaming and splashing around in the freezing cold ocean water, but they were just having so much fun together. I LOVE White Rock Beach because it jsut spreads on and on and on and on and the kids can go WAY out and you can still see them, and it’s shallow for them to be able to play in, and SOOOOO SANDY!

They have a few more days down here on the Coast, and then they are headed back up North, and I’ll miss them, BUT….I’ll see them soon, and it will be as if we were never apart.

Workin’ Out the Kinks

So, I have a new look (I hope you’ve all figured this out by now) and while things look okay, there are still a few things that we’ve not completely worked out.

My sister mentioned my links, and while I mentioned to Jon to put them up there at the top along with the “Home”, “Chris”, “Daily Grind” and “Photos” thingy’s he obviously forgot. Along with the fact that I asked him to put them in proper alphabetical order, because when you’re having an OCD moment……correct alphabetical order is very VERY important.

And while I’m still able to function, there is a small part of my brain that is screaming at me that those words are not in the correct order and it’s stressing me out. Then there’s the rest of my brain that is screaming back at that tiny OCD part and saying “Shut the crap up, you don’t control us” and so I’m trying to just ignore it all, but all that screaming back and forth makes it a little difficult at times. See, the biggest problemm is that Jon is busy doing paying web design work, and while wifely payouts are always apreciated – they don’t put food on the table or pay the bills (and this could be taken in a whole ‘nuther direction, but we won’t go there). I could probably figure it out myself….but I’ve resisted learning how to do this kind of stuff.

Which is stupid, but it is what it is.

So, bear with me as we work out all the little glitches and get everything back in order, and working the way it should.

Missing Children

Okay, so this title is a bit more serious than my usualy drivel….but in actuality, it’s not.

I was tidying up today and ‘Siah and I were in his room. He was playing on the floor with his toys and I was folding clothes and putting them away, and clearing out small clothes and other stuff like that.

I ran downstairs, for a second, to flip the laundry over and when I came back upstairs and into Josiah’s room – it was empty!

Empty Room

He’s been motoring along for a while now and getting really fast with his little army crawl, and I wondered if he’d managed to make it down the hallway towards the kids room.

I gave the room one last glance, and nope….he really wasn’t in there.

Still No Baby

I ran out into the rest of the house and, nope….not down the hall way, not in the TV room, not in the kitchen or the front room, and one panicky moment when I prayed that he wasn’t in the bathroom fishing in the toilet….but nope! He wasn’t there, either…

I had no clue as to where he was.

I went back into his room and heard some little noises, but still could not see anything….and then….

One Little Hand

The little stinker had crawled under his crib and because of the long bedskirt, I couldn’t see him. The kids play with him under the crib ALL THE TIME and it drives me nuts, and I’m always nagging at them to GET. OUT. FROM. UNDER. THE. FREAKING. CRIB, and to stop pulling the baby under there with them.

He poked his head out….


And grinned at me…….

So Proud of Himself

He looked so proud of himself…it was so cute, and after he crawled out and towards me, I wished I’d had my camera on me, and the little bugger was so considerate and turned around and headed right back under the bed and so I ran to grab my camera and that’s how I was able to get all these pictures….just in case you were wondering if I’ve had my camera surgically attached to my arm or if I’m dorky enough to just carry the sucker around my neck 24/7….the answer is no. ‘Siah just went to play hide ‘n seek again, and I was ble to catch it second time around…helpful little bugger.