The weeks are flying by. I feel like I just said that I have 13 weeks left and BAM! A whole week has passed by and I’m annoyed with myself that I’ve not “accomplished” anything on my “list of things to do before the baby comes”.
Recently I’ve painted my bedroom and my bathroom, BUT….I’m not finished the job. In my bedroom, I have to finish touching up the edges on two walls down by the baseboards and I need to finish up the trim in my bathroom as well. I have 2 small walls and around the shower and in a corner between my bathtub and a wall to finish touching up.
So, it’s not like I have a ton to do in either of those rooms, but the knowledge that it’s undone…..well, it’s weighing on me. Maybe I’ll try to get it finished up tomorrow……or maybe not.
I also want to paint a mini-crib that I’ll be using. I need to sand it, prime it and paint it. Then I need to pick up some fabric and make some sheets, a bumper and a blanket. I also want to make a few coordinating (with the crib set) covers for the change table.
I still need to get some curtains for my bedroom and to figure out what (art, photo, picture, etc) we are going to put on our walls. I also need to find a bed spread that fits in with the color and feel of my bedroom (not hard…I can just do all white or some combo of white, tan, chocolate and turquoise).
I do need to go through my baby stuff and figure out what I might need and what I want and to start to stock up on some of the disposable items.
Seeing how fast this past week flew by, I know that if I blink – then next thing I know I’ll be holding my baby and nothing will be done. Which, in the grand scheme of things is not the end of the world and I know that. Everything will eventually get done and even if it doesn’t, the baby will still come and we will make do and it will all be okay. BUT….I want to get all this stuff done – if I can!
Here is a picture of me from yesterday.
For a fun comparison, Here is a picture of me at 27 weeks (it was either that or the next one I have is at 30 weeks) pregnant with Josiah.
On another note, I’m having a bit of a “Fat Day”. I just feel gross and fat and awful about myself.
I’m sure that I’ll change my thinking soon. I do weigh more than I did at this point with Josiah, but that’s because I had spent 3 months losing weight and prepping my body to be pregnant when I got pregnant with Siah. With this pregnancy, I was attempting to lose weight and to get healthy, but there were no plans of a baby anywhere in those plans.
I’ve been exercising during this pregnancy and for the most part, I feel amazing about myself. Yes, I know that I am at a heavier weight than I’d like to be, but I am WAY more fit and I’m certain that I have built muscle and that once I can work a bit harder at “losing” weight that I’ll be able to attain a better, more suitable goal for myself.
I do spend a total of 6 hours a week in a too revealing exercise outfit in front of floor to ceiling mirrors and have come to love my body (for the most part) over the past 8 months. I rarely have “bad” days in regards to my body image and I used to have a TON of them. I see how I have changed and toned and tightened and I am mostly happy with myself. I see beauty where I didn’t ever think that I’d see beauty – fat, stretch marks, double chins, under arm flab and all.
And then today…..I saw some pictures of myself working out and then took these pics and while I know that pics do show the truth, they often show a side of the truth and that the full, moving view of myself is different than a still shot, but….still……I guess I’m feeling sensitive today.
I’m determined that I’m going to throw off this funk and feel beautiful about myself again. I’m worth believing in myself and seeing the strength and beauty in my personal shape and form. I want to live like that for myself and to be able to pass that belief onto my girls especially, but also, I want for my boys to be able to see that I believe in my own strength and beauty and for them to be able to find and see beauty in everyone………28 weeks pregnant and all.