Yah…..I Have No Idea What to Title This One….Ramblings, maybe?

Green ConfettiI mentioned that I had an appointment with my Naturopath for yesterday.  Just when I was getting ready to take the kids to school, we got a call that something had come up, and that she needed to rebook.  So, no hand holding after all.  At least not until Tuesday afternoon. 

Tuesday is shaping up to be a BUSY day.  Jon rebooked my OB appointment for Tuesday morning, and then the Naturopath rebooked for Tuesday afternoon.  I don’t think I’ll be making the treck into Vancouver to see Chris on Tuesday……too much going on.

The baby was really moving around yesterday afternoon, and well into the evening.  Jon was moonlighting doing sound for a Graduation, and I don’t usually go to sleep until he’s home.  Don’t know why I do this, maybe just something about him being home….I don’t know!  I sleep fine when he’s not here, and if he’s gone for some reason until 2 or 3 or 4 am then I don’t stay up, but if I know he’s going to be home oarund midnight or so I just wait up.  Was probably stupid of me, ’cause I know that I was tired, but my brain is just moving and moving at a zillion miles an hour.  I even had to read once I crawled into bed, and finally shut the light off and went to sleep about 1am.  Paid for it this morning though, when the alarm beeped at 7am, and I really didn’t want to get up.  Had to though ’cause Jon had to leave by 8am to do more of the same sound gig, so I had to be ready to get the kids off to school by myself.

It’s all good though.  I’m feeling okay right now, although I may go to bed after the hockey game tonight just to try to catch up on sleep.

It’s weird being here at home, and with Chris in VGH.  I don’t mind the drive in, but when I’m tring to fit it in to “my life” I realize just how special the time up in Kamlops was.  We were just there.  Nothing to do.  No where to drive to.  Just sleep and eat and be with Chris. 

It’s funny (maybe that’s the wrong word) trying to “do” life after a tragedy.  Not that I think that we are “in” a tragedy, but this is a tragic situation, that could have been a lot worse, and Thank God is actually much better.  I remember after Nathaniel died, trying to figure out what my new “normal” would be.  While this isn’t exactly the same, it still requires an adjustment.  I want to be there for my brother, my sister-in-law, and my family!  I will gladly rearrange things for a season to be able to “be there” for them.  I think that it’s important.  We are a very close family.  I probably need to explain that.  We do not necessarily live in each other’s pockets, but when we do see each other, it is as if no time has passed.  We do not make a big deal about who can and can’t come when we do have a get-together.  If you can make it great, and if not, then we love you lots and will see you next time.  I think that comes from a great love for each other, and a HUGE confidence that we will always be there for each other if/when needed, no strings attached.

Right now it’s Chris and Nina’s time.  They need us, and we are here for them.  It’s nice to see that we are here for each other as well.  I love seeing the way our family pulls together, and does what’s necessary. 

Like I said, I’m just rambling, but when my mind is going, and I have all these thoughts, and I just need to get some of them down so that I can let them go, and hopefully slow my brain down, that’s when I ramble. 

The picture at the top of this post is of the steps up to the hospital in Kamloops; or, depending on which way your headed, down to the Starbucks across the street.  The trees around the hospital were dropping these little seed pods (maybe) and  they were every where.  Some times it looked like it was snowing green.  They made me think of confetti they way they were all over the ground, and especially piled up along the edges of the paths and the stairways.  I even had some in my hair.  Again with the rambling…..not very exciting…….just another thing rumbling around inside my brain.

Well, hopefully with a few things dumped, I’ll be able to pick a few to focus on, and actually get some stuff accomplished.  Hope you’re having or have had a great day.

Author: Patricia Culley

I'm the ringmaster of my own circus. Just trying to stay one step ahead of the monkeys.

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