The closer I get to the end, the more important it is that I actually get there….I only wish the time was passing faster.
I got some terrible news today.Â Ever since losing Nathaniel in January of 2005, I have been a part of an Internet Bulleitn board for women who have experienced loss.Â Most of the ladies have had miscarriages, but a few have had still births.Â There have been tons of the ladies that had losses around the same time that I did, who have since then had a healthy baby, or even two.Â Unfortunately, some of the ladies have had more losses, or haven’t been able to get pregnant since then.
It was an amazing place for me to find, when I felt so all alone, and like I really didn’t have anyone who understood what I was going through.Â I could ask questions and find answers, and just be frustrated, and give support as new ladies came along.Â It’s been a wonderful support system, and I believe that I’ve made some friends over the past 2 and a half years.
This morning, one of the girls who has had multiple losses along side of me, had a still born baby.Â She was 37 weeks pregnant, and the cord was wrapped tightly around her son’s neck.
This has kind of thrown me for a loop.Â
To make matter’s worse, our little guy has had a particularly quiet and still day today.Â Yes, he has been moving, but not quite the usual kicks and squirms that I think are usual.Â I’d be lying if I said that getting this news hasn’t bothered me.Â It’s so hard to think that this lady lost her child, and she was so close to the end.Â If he’s been born one day earlier, he would/could have lived.Â It’s situations and circumstances like these that I don’t understand.
If you could, I’m asking for prayer.Â I’m asking for prayer for a friend of mine (Emily)Â who just lost her baby (Jack).Â I’m also selfishly asking for prayer for me and my baby.Â I really want this baby to live and not die, and to be born safely, and when it’s supposed to be.
We are getting closer and closer to being ready for our baby to come.Â I’ve told Jon that everything has to be basically done for the 21st of July.Â That’s when I’m 37 weeks.Â After that, it will just be a matter of tidying and washing and sorting and folding and putting things away.
We bought some shelves today.Â I wanted to get some shelves to put above the change table, and found some that didn’t really match, but they were close and would have worked, and they were $15 each.Â So not too expensive.Â We were at RONA today, and found some unfinished ones for $7.00 each, and bought a can of stain for $15.Â Â It worked out toÂ about the same price for the 2 shelves and the stain, but these shelves are a bit wider which I’m happy about.Â The other ones were fairly narrow, AND once stained, these will be very close in color to the furniture we already have.Â YAH!
I also found the cutest frog for the wall.Â It’s actually a hanger thingy.Â It has pegs, that you hang stuff from……do you know what I’m talking about?Â So basically, the frog is sitting on a piece of wood that has 3 pegs in it, and you can hang stuff on the pegs.Â It’s cute!Â I’ll post a picture – you’ll LOVE it!
Also, the NICEST thing happened today…..the sales associate at the RONA thought that Jon and I were in our mid twenties, and that this was our first child.Â She thought that we were just looking after the 3 kids that were with us, and was absolutely SHOCKED when Jon told her that we’d been married for 12 years.Â I’ve never been told that I looked younger than my age, so I was pretty surprised….Maybe she was just being nice…..who knows….who cares….It was a nice complement and I’m not going to over think it too much.
Well, here’s to the end of day one of being 35 weeks pregnant.Â I can’t wait ’till next week when I’ll be even one week closer to meeting this sweet boy of ours.