I am still nervous about actually getting up at 5:30am and going for a walk/run. Mornings have never been my strong point and so, I went for a walk last night instead of this morning….and then I woke up at 6:30am this morning and reluctantly heaved myself out of bed at 6:45am. That’s still better than 7:30ish – no?
I really, REALLY did not want to go out last night, but I didn’t want to do it this morning, even more. So, before I could really think too much about it…..I laced up my runners, harnessed the dog, and set out. It was GREAT timing on my part. There was a horrific rain storm and it hit about 5 mins into my walk. Zeus was all stressed out and kept stopping to shake the water off himself.
But, I plodded out 3 very wet and soggy kilometers. Yay me.
I’ve been struggling a bit with anxiety over the weekend. I have a tendency to run events over and over and over and over inside my head. Which……can be absolutely horrific. We were chatting with someone this weekend and later, I mentioned to Jon what stuck out at me the most from that conversation. Which I received as a horribly negative criticism and yet in reality it was a totally unimportant and insignificant comment. I recognize that it’s “anxiety” but that doesn’t seem to stop the “loop” from playing endlessly in my head.
At that point, Jon said to me, “It must really suck to live inside your head, sometimes.” Which it totally and utterly does.
HOWEVER……..I also realized, that this exact same tendency to go over and over and over an event or scenario is also what allows me to come up with creative, inventive and excellent ideas for issues or problems that I may come up against. I look at the “issue” from every angle and aspect; and am typically able to come up with incredible solutions.
So, what is a weakness……can also be a strength.
It’s interesting for me to realize that something that I thought broken about me……is also a huge gift.