I know I’m not even 6 months into this new baby thing and the fact that the early years with the other 3 kids is just a blur should tell me something, but I have such high hopes for myself and what I can or will accomplish and then…………
That was my post that I started on Thursday and then we had a power surge and the computer froze and I was certain I had lost the start of my entry andÂ I was so discouraged about it all that I just walked away.Â Does that say anything about my frame of mind these days.Â Â I’m so frustrated that I’m not accomplishing anything….or I should rephrase that to say that I’m not accomplishing as much as I was (and am) capable of doing in my pre – 4 kid days.Â Again, I wouldn’t give up ‘Siah for anything, but it continues to be an adjustment.Â I do actually belive that you can be grateful for something and still whine or complain about how hard it is…….someone we know had a special needs child – it’s their only child and they love this child so much….dealing with him on a daily basis and I think it’s completely fair for the parents to say that they are tired or discouraged or really wish they didn’t have to deal with their situation….does that mean that they love their child any less….nope….I think that they have the right to say that something is difficult and not feel guilty for doing so…..
So, here I am…this is difficult….probably more so because I have “stuff to do”.Â Â If all I was doing was just being a SAHM – cooking and cleaning and that kind of stuff, I might not feel like I was behind in my duties, but that not all I’m doing…I have two other part time jobs and there is “stuff” thatÂ I have to get done….BUT….
::singing at the top of my lungs::
……I’M LEEEEEEEEEEEEEAVING ON A JET PLANE….Â Â ::end song::
I’m going to Toronto tomorrow.Â We are leaving in the middle of the freakin’ night.Â 4:30am…YIKES!Â So, I won’t be around.Â I’m still trying to convince Jon to post in my absence….so stay tuned to see if and what “crap” he throws at you….
Well, I still have to pack and I haveÂ aÂ headache……It’s unreal the amount of gear that is required to take the baby and to make our week long stay a happy one…..I really hope it’s a happy one…it will royally suck if it’s not happy……and not just for me, but for my girlfriend that I”m rooming with……
‘Siah Â is an AWESOME baby, but we will be off schedule and not at home…..I do hope it’s all good…..of course I’ll keep ya updated when I come back and I’ll probably have loads of pics of Josiah’s first plane ride…..’cause I’m dorky like that….have a good one people.